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Time Heals All Wounds

Posted on July 19, 2010 Written by Tonya

A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the doctor’s book. – Irish proverb

I haven’t posted in a few days. I have a lot to say, a lot is floating around this brain of mine, but the only thing on my mind is the fact that I’m not pregnant anymore. I couldn’t even get my Friday Flip Offs together, and I live for that!!

Last week went from bad to worse. I will spare you all the details, but it ended last night with a visit to the ER.

I’m on the mend, but sad.

I know it is completely normal for me to feel this way and I know it will pass, but my mind is a litany of negative thoughts and I can’t seem to shake them.

I’m trying to carry on as usual, but it’s easier said than done.

I’m trying to carry on as usual, because I have a 13 month old and he needs me as much as I need him.

Unfortunately, Lucas’ dad had to be out of town for a few days last week, so my sister was here and helped out immensely. She knows me well and is great with Lucas. I don’t know what we would have done without her.

Like most people, when trying to feel better emotionally, I turn to retail therapy, drowning my sorrows in Cabernet, pouring my heart out in my journal or blog, or watching too much bad TV, but sleep has always been my favorite way to escape.

None of it really helps, but crawling under the covers and disappearing for a while is a good place to start.

My son’s smile is another brilliant light at the end of this dark tunnel and lastly, there’s time…. time to heal, time to mourn and eventually time to try again.

Thank you for all of the support, good thoughts and virtual hugs last week and for commenting on my post Miscarried. As usual, I put myself out there in a very real and honest way and the feedback was sincere and heartfelt.

The best is yet to be.

Second Chances

Posted on May 26, 2010 Written by Tonya

I am finally doing something that my friend Natalie over at Mommy of a Monster (I Mean Toddler) and Infant Twinshas been encouraging me to do for a while now; enter Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop.

This meme is hosted by Mama’s Losin’ It each week she offers different prompts to chose from and you write about the one you picked, hence tapping into your more creative mommy side. So, here goes nothing!

Prompt #2: If you could do your wedding over again, how would you do it?

I was fortunate enough to have the gift of a wedding re-do and this time with the right groom!

My husband and I have been married for three years this August and like most brides, whenever I think about our wedding day, I feel all warm and happy inside. It was the perfect day.

My second wedding was exactly what I had wanted the first time around: small, intimate and all about the two of us and our love for our closest family and friends.

Since I had been married before and could care less about having another big princess/fairy tale-type shindig with everyone I have ever (or in some cases never) met as guests, we decided to keep it simple, yet elegant.

It was held in our home and we invited 40 guests (27 were in attendance).

You’d think with such a small gathering at home, planning would be a cinch.

Not the case.

All of the typical wedding planning frustrations over menu options, scheduling conflicts, budget constraints and discussions about cake flavors and invitation wording existed, but we had fun planning this amazing party and would both do it again.

We hired our favorite restaurant to cater, help with service, set-up and clean up. We hired a local Spanish guitarist to perform, rented tables, chairs, linens and glassware and asked a friend of a friend to make our cake. Champagne, beer and wine were purchased at Costco and I ordered my dress on Nordstrom.com. I was shocked when it actually fit, which has never happened to me before… EVER! It was the dress I was meant to wear.

One of the sweetest moments was when my sister sang an impromptu solo of “You Are The Sunshine Of My Life” and I love that after the cake was cut, our living room turned into Dance Party U.S.A.!!

Nope, I honestly wouldn’t change a single thing…. Okay, there was the sweaty photographer that we had my mother-in-law ask to leave shortly after dinner was served. To be fair, there just wasn’t enough for him to shoot. We stayed in the same location and he had the same three dozen guests as subjects.

I was pleased with his work and here are three of my favorite moments he captured:

Second changes are pretty rare and I count my lucky stars that I was able to have this one.

The best is yet to be.

Down Under

Posted on May 5, 2010 Written by Tonya

“Be it ever so humble, there’s no place like home.” – John Howard Payne

I’m back! It’s good to be home. I missed my little blog, but thoroughly enjoyed being unplugged for a while. Now, with my head swimming in posting ideas and new thoughts on motherhood to share, I’m anxious to get back to it….

First and foremost, we had a terrific trip! The flights to and from were torturous and very hard on us all, but we did it and are better for it.

I can’t believe that I can now say that I been to six continents or even more impressive that, that my son has been to three!

Sydney is a beautiful hustling bustling multi-cultural city with tons of things to see and do and we made the most of our four days there by exploring The Rocks, the great neighborhood where our hotel was located, walking over the Sydney Harbour Bridge, visiting the famed Opera House and the Taronga Zoo.

In between our bookend stays in Sydney, Lucas and I spent a wonderful week with my friend Sophie and her family in Noumea, New Caledonia and got to experience life on an island. It was so good for my soul to see my friend again and I loved finally meeting her beautiful daughters, Emma (who turned six while we were there) and Noemi (3). They were very sweet to Lucas and he fell in love with them instantly too.

I am especially grateful to Sophie’s husband Luc, who took the entire week off work while I was there to help out with their girls and their daily routine and even looked after Lucas so that Sophie and I could spend some time alone together. I love how even after not seeing each other for 10 years, we picked up right where we left off. That has to be the mark of a true friendship.

As I said in my Facebook status on April 25: One 15 hour flight, one trip to the ER, one lost cell phone and unbelievable humidity = the price you pay to see your best friend again! Having a wonderful time in New Caledonia.

I can never thank Sophie and Luc enough for everything they did to make us feel comfortable and welcome and I don’t know what I would have done without their help. Shortly after we arrived (literally minutes after we walked off the plane), we headed to the ER where Lucas was diagnosed with gastroenteritis. This led to multiple trips to the pharmacy, calls to their family’s pediatrician and a later diagnosis of an ear infection and sore throat.

Agh! I now know what a mother’s worst fear is while traveling and it’s not that you’ll run out of diapers on a 15 hour flight, it’s that your baby will get sick on an island where you don’t speak the language!

He seems to be 100% now, although he is still pulling on his ear, so we are going see our pediatrician tomorrow (I mean, later).

Maybe he was just missing his daddy, who was in Tasmania participating in the annual Targa Tasmania, a tarmac rally with competitive stages on closed roads. I will have to get Lucas’ dad to share his experience in the form of a guest post, because I couldn’t do it justice. I suppose the pictures might speak for themselves. Luckily no one was seriously hurt!!

It was the longest we have all been a part from one another and what made it more difficult was the lack of communication. We can normally text one another, but not without a phone (which I believe is in the Sydney airport somewhere…Grrr!).

Jet lag is starting to kick in… photo highlights will have to wait until tomorrow (I mean, later).

Time Heals All Wounds

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