Letters For Lucas

Wonders, Mishaps, Blunders and Joy.. commentary on my life as a mom in the form of letters to my son

One Year Ago

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Exactly one year ago today, March 3, I wrote this post: Safety First. We were having our home baby proofed by a professional baby proofing company (because God knows we couldn’t have done it ourselves) and discovered that our home was unprotected by a carbon monoxide detector.

This was shocking news to me because 1) I thought we had one and 2) My parents died of carbon monoxide poisoning. Boy, did I feel stupid! We immediately rectified this oversight. I urge all of you to make sure you too have a CO detector and that it is in working order. It can save lives!

Also a year ago…

Lucas turned nine months old, just learned how to clap, went into a swimming pool for the first time and started wearing the Doc Band, my sister turned 26, we were starting to really listen to nursery rhymes, I was lusting after Pretty Things and I read Kelly Corrigan’s beautiful memoir, The Middle Place.

Last week I wrote my 500th Letters For Lucas post, Lucas is almost 21 months old, Leah will be 27 on Monday, we have a new address, my husband has his own vintage car showroom, which has been (knock on wood) very successful so far and I’m reading One Amazing Thing by Chitra Banerjee Divakaruni and I’m still lusting after pretty things:

Bailey Console Table – Pottery Barn

Love Letters Sheet Set – Anthropologie

Wall Art – Land of Nod

The last week has been rough. Lucas has been sick with the worst cold/flu of his young life and we have been to the pediatrician’s office twice, most recently to find out he now has a double ear infection. I’ve been sick too and so has Todd. Taking care of a sick child when you’re sick too is no fun!

Never a dull moment…

As always, then and now, our life is full of ups and downs, but also a lot of humor along the way.

How has your life changed in one year?

This post was written for Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop Prompt 3) What were you blogging about last year at this time? What has changed?

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We Did It!

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Since my February 26, 2010 post, You Should See The Other Guy, if you are one of my (three) regular readers, you may have noticed after my tag line I have been counting down the 100 days of Lucas wearing the Doc Band.

Today is Day 85 and it is Graduation Day!! 15 days early!! We are so excited.

Your head has moved almost 11 millimeters, which we have been told for a baby that started treatment so late (you were 8 1/2 months when we began this process) is superb!

Call me biased, but in my eyes your head was always perfectly shaped, but I would be lying if I said I didn’t see a noticeable change in the shape and yes, even improvement in the symmetry of your facial features.

I can’t praise the staff at Cranial Technologies in San Diego enough for their care and courtesy, but it’s really Lucas himself that was the trouper. He made this so easy for us because he never once fussed (unless he got too hot) over having to wear the Doc Band around the clock. I don’t even think he noticed having it on and in some ways might even miss it.

I grew during the last 85 days too… I learned that I will do whatever is necessary to help my child and that no matter what our future faces with him, we are proud of him.

I learned that your family, friends and even strangers on the street might just surprise you with their kindness, support and understanding.

I also learned to have a little more compassion for those that have way more serious health issues.

We have come a long way and I am thrilled to be done with it!

The best is yet to be.

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Half Way Point

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Today marks the half way point of you wearing the Doc Band. We had our fourth follow up visit this afternoon and your head is moving in the right direction, rounding out in the way the therapist is pleased with and your facial features are noticeably more symmetrical.

This has been an interesting journey and I’m grateful for how easy you’ve made it on us. Since day one it’s like you’re not even wearing it. It hasn’t seemed to bother you in the least bit, however, we do see an extra spring in your step (AKA swagger in your crawl) when it’s off and we know that it’s hot and must be uncomfortable by the end of the day.

I have been so pleasantly surprised at the encouragement from strangers and how many people have come up to us at the park, grocery store, shopping mall, airport, etc. to tell us how successful the Doc Band was for their own children, grandchildren, friend’s children, nieces and nephews. It seems as though we are a part of a special group now and when yours comes off, I’ll be sure to do the same. In fact, your grandma and I saw a little girl wearing a Doc Band while walking through La Jolla last week and I had to stop and comment on how adorable she looked it in. Her parents had painted flowers all over it, where as we have been partial to stickers.

The first 50 days went by in a flash and I know that the next 50 days will as well.

The best is yet to be.

Day 50/100

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You Should See The Other Guy

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Lucas got his DOC Band on Wednesday, which makes today, Day 3 of him wearing it.

So far, so good…. He has very quickly adjusted to it and doesn’t even seem to notice that it is on. Aren’t children amazing?

He is doing a lot better with it than I am. I just keep reminding myself that he is same baby with or without the band and there is no need to treat him any differently. I am so thankful for all of the support I have around me and for having such a happy and otherwise healthy baby.

Here is the first photo taken of him wearing it.


The best is yet to be.

Day 3/100

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Shaping Your Future

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Lucas has been diagnosed with in utero left sided plagiocephaly (significant flattening and asymmetry of the back of the head and face and ear misalignment) and we have been seeing a physical therapist for his torticollis (a condition in which the head is tilted toward one side, and the chin is elevated and turned toward the opposite side) for three months.

The good news is that plagiocephaly and torticollis are not life threatening and are easily treated.

Yesterday, we were told Lucas is a candidate for the DOC Band, a lightweight 6-oz helmet, that works by applying mild holding pressure and redirecting growth to less prominent areas. The band must be worn for 23 hours a day, only removing for bathing and dressing for up to four months.

The use of DOC Band is NOT a cosmetic fix, it is a restorative fix designed to bring the infant’s head back to its normal head shape and balance the asymmetry.

I am devastated.

I don’t want my baby to wear this device.

I think my son is perfect exactly the way he is.

I don’t want strangers to stare at him in the band. I don’t want to hear their comments or questions and I certainly do not want to respond to them.

I am angry that my OBGYN and ultrasound technicians didn’t see in the umpteen ultrasounds I had done that my baby was crunched up in my womb. We could have possibly repositioned him.

I am vain.

I am also a mother who wants the very best for my child. A misshapen head can lead to vision problems, ear infections, headaches and speech disorders. Not to mention the psychological impact of society’s often cruel view of deformity.

This is going to be a difficult four months for me, but Lucas will never remember it and in the long run will probably thank us for making this decision.

The best is yet to be and you’re welcome, my love.

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