Letters For Lucas

Wonders, Mishaps, Blunders and Joy.. commentary on my life as a mom in the form of letters to my son

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Why Sending Thank You Cards Is So Important

Posted on March 19, 2015 Written by Tonya

Lucas and I were in the car discussing our weekend plans. We had swim lessons, a soccer game and two birthday parties to look forward to.

Since starting kindergarten, he has been invited to 10 or more classmate’s birthday celebrations.

We started reviewing all the different fun parties he had attended this year and what the themes were. To five- and six-year-olds the theme and location are just as important as the flavor of cake and the guest list. I suppose that could be said for 40-somethings too.

All of a sudden and completely on his own Lucas recalled that of all the parties he has attended, he has only received two thank you cards.

Two.

Two acknowledgements.

Pitiful.

I’m not trying to throw anyone under the bus, I know parents get busy, it’s often a fight to get a child to sit down and physically do the work, but it’s necessary. It is a simple, kind gesture that shows appreciation and gratitude. Attributes our world is truly lacking.

Writing thank you notes is a skill that every child should learn as a part of their upbringing. I did. I hated every minute of it, but I’m instilling it in my children and nothing lights up a child’s face more than receiving mail!

Before Lucas could write, I’d have him color a picture to accompany a note I had written and then we graduated to scribbling his name at the bottom of a note I had written and now we talk though two-three sentences and he writes his own cards. It’s a painstaking process but he has a sense of pride and accomplishment once the task is completed.

I know that fill-in and pre-printed/personalized cards are available, but we use colored construction paper and crayons.

Perhaps a warm hug and genuine “thank you” in person is enough? I don’t think so, but don’t take my word for it….

My friend, Tracy of Sellabit Mum wrote a great post called How to Write a Thank You Note a few years ago that I highly recommend and another friend and family physician, Dr. Gilboa posted a YouTube video, Teach Kids How to Write a Thank You Note where in less than one minute she explains the three parts kids need to write a great thank you note, and why we should bother.

Do you have your children write/send thank you cards? Why or why not?

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Filed Under: birthdays, conversations with Lucas, friends, gratitude, question, TDA bio, video Tagged With: birthdays, conversations with Lucas, Dr. G, friends, gratitude, question, Sellabit Mum, TDA bio, video

My Body

Posted on April 23, 2013 Written by Tonya

Debi, better known as Doctor G, is my guest today.

Doctor G is a part-time family doctor and full time mom of four boys, she  focuses on practical tools and teaching skills, not just dishing out advice. From one minute tips on making your life easier while building kids’ character to her downloadable guides (chores at every age, boundaries for tech use and more) Doctor G makes parenting more simple and more effective and I have sought her advice many times! 

Debi’s letter to her body really touched a chord with me because it’s one that I should write. How many times have you heard, “your body is your temple?” It’s one of those ideas that sneak into your consciousness and you don’t know where you actually heard it.

Take a minute to appreciate your temple.

Letters For You

To my body,

I just want to say thanks.

Thank you for my childhood. A smattering of illnesses – I don’t think either of us can forget the particular panic of waking in the middle of the night with a raging ear infection, too little to understand what that sharp pain is. The chicken pox weren’t so bad (though I wish you hadn’t given it to my Dad – I was so scared when the ambulance came to take him to the hospital because he got them inside his lungs!); I wouldn’t eaten chicken til I was 5 or 6 after that. You really withstood the sprains and breaks and I am seriously sorry about all the sunburns. Sunscreen – who knew?

My teen years, well, I think we can both agree I should have exercised a little more. On the plus side, though, I didn’t give any illegal substances during that time. Strangely, I think there is a connection between those two facts. 😉

You really stood up to a lot in my twenties. You withstood the genetic pressure of my family’s mental illnesses, the abuse I heaped on you through my early divorce (not eating), med school (not sleeping) and my parents’ divorce (barely breathing).

In my thirties? Thank you more than words can say for my four pregnancies. It looked like that last one was a miscarriage (oh sure, YOU knew better, but how was *I* supposed to know?) when it turned out we lost a twin, but not the other. Hey, body, can you tell me if my precious little boy knows on some level that he started as one of two? Just wondering.

Anyway, it was a lot to ask of you, to grow and birth and then feed four babies in six years. It’s been a total of 10 years of pregnancy, labor and breastfeeding. Yours was the hard part, I got all the rewards. You’ve complained in only the most mild ways – changing shape to adjust, some pain here and there. Thanks for stepping up with the breast milk – there is no guarantee of that and I DO really appreciate it!

Now I’m in my forties, and you are still stepping up. This decade I particularly want to thank you for withstanding piggy back rides for 50 pound kids, wrestling with boys who are too old to “cuddle” if anyone is around, climbing into top bunks each night because no one else is around so the cuddle is welcomed. Thanks for sitting through outdoor sports events that go into overtime only if the weather is cold and rainy. Thank you for managing on less rest than you’d like when one of the other bodies in our house is sick.

Thank you for hands that help my patients feel more whole. Thank you for eyes that see what’s happening, and the extra ones in the back of my head. And thanks for the increase in my sex drive (my husband says to say thanks too)!

Thank you for healing the small and large insults you’ve withstood so far.

Now here’s the “ask.” Can you stick with me? I’m starting to realize, now that I really like me, and feel really comfortable inside you, that you are the key. Whether the next decades are great or hard depend in large part on you. So I’ll do my best to keep you tuned up, checked, vaccinated and moving. You let me know if there is something I need to pay more attention to, alright? I’m counting on you to help me give piggyback rides to grandkids someday!

Thank you for your patience as I’ve struggled to appreciate you.

All the best,
Debi

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Filed Under: guest post, health, Letters For You Tagged With: Dr. G, guest post, health, Letters For You

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