motherhood

A Hundred Hearts

Posted on December 5, 2011 Written by Tonya

Lucas is 2 1/2 years old today and they were right. I was warned. Everyone that said it goes by fast. By it, of course, I mean childhood…. mine, yours and especially our children’s.

One minute it was just Todd and I and the next we became a family by bringing home our newborn son. Fast forward in lightening speed time, we began celebrating all of his amazing milestones and he soon turned one and then two and now attends preschool, sleeps in a twin bed, lives on macaroni ‘n cheese and has begun asking us all sorts of inquisitive questions about the world around him.

Right before our eyes Lucas has turned into a little person… a wonderful, thoughtful, strong-willed, energetic little person.

I constantly search for the pause button and desperately try my best to stay present so that I don’t miss a moment of his childhood.

I want to remember these days of sweet innocence and discovery forever.

A hundred hearts would be too few
To carry all my love for you.
– Author Unknown

Linking up with Galit (These Little Waves) and Alison’s (Mama Wants This) Memories Captured.

The photo above was created using picnik.

Me

Posted on November 30, 2011 Written by Tonya

5 Things You Don’t Know About Me:
1. I’m always on time, sometimes even early.
2. I’m as loyal as a dog. Unless you cross me or enjoy creating drama for the sake of drama, I’ll be yours til the end.
3. Name an artist and I can [probably] sing one of their songs. This is a great party trick.
4. I am FIERCELY competitive. Trust me, you want to be on my team when playing Scene It, Trivial Pursuit or Taboo.
5. When watching movies at home, I use subtitles because I don’t want to miss a word.

5 Things I’m Knowledgeable About:
1. Acting like I know what I’m doing.
2. Moving. I’ve moved 14 times since 1991 so I consider myself a pro.
3. Locating a book at the bookstore or library without any assistance.
4. I am uber organized, as in file folders with labels-containers of all shapes and sizes-everything has it’s place kind of way.
5. I’m a really good marketer. Ever since I was 14 I wanted to work in advertising and for 10 years I did before becoming a mother and now I help a few people market their small businesses and help them break into social media and I still love it!

5 Things I Know Nothing About:
1. Applying eye make-up.
2. Changing a tire.
3. Lighting a fire.
4. Cooking. Seriously, I burn rice.
5. Driving a manual transmission vehicle.

5 Things I Believe:
1. I believe in the power of positive thinking, a hug, hot shower, long walk, one-on-one time with someone you love, a good cry, a glass of wine and children’s laughter.
2. I believe everything happens for a reason and while I may not always know what it is, I’m determined to learn from it…. eventually.
3. I believe that motherhood is the toughest job on the planet and something I was meant to do.
4. I believe that life is short and there is absolutely no use walking around pissed off at the world.
5. I believe in Santa Claus.

This post was written for Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop, Prompt 2.) Five Things. List 5 things we don’t know about you, 5 things you’re knowledgeable about, 5 things you know nothing about, and 5 things you believe. (inspired by LouLou’s Views)

Mornings

Posted on November 2, 2011 Written by Tonya

8 AM again and my feet won’t stop from the moment they hit the ground.

There are hugs and kisses and cuddles in between picking up, putting away and preparing for day ahead.

Noise, chaos and laughter swirl around our kitchen and I realize I wouldn’t want it any other way.

More kisses as Daddy leaves for work.

Breakfast is served, lunch box is packed, we are dressed and out the door, but not before one last struggle to put on shoes.

As I drive home alone, I pray his teachers are patient with him, his classmates are kind and he uses his manners.

I count down the hours until I can see my buddy again.

I am a mother.

This post was written for Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop, Prompt 3.) Write a post that is eight lines long. (inspired by Mommy Nani Boo Boo).

This post is was also written for Write on Edge’s writing meme, Red Writing Hood. This week’s prompt: Take me to your version of 8:00 – AM or PM, fiction or creative nonfiction- in 200 words or less. Constructive criticism is welcome.

Proud Mommy Moments

Posted on October 27, 2011 Written by Tonya

Almost 28 months into this mommy gig and Lucas has single-handedly made angrier than I’ve ever been, tried my patience in ways I didn’t think were possible, made me happier and than I ever believed I could be and has had me bursting with pride, joy and love.

On this roller coaster ride, he is the boss and he is my heart.

Please follow me to The Kir Corner to read about my Proudest Mommy Moments.

Thank you, Kirsten for asking me to be a part of your wonderful series and for being a good friend. Your recent love and support mean the world to me and I’m honored to have you in my corner. xoxo

Advice To New Mothers

Posted on September 14, 2011 Written by Tonya

I certainly do not claim to be an expert, in fact very far from it, but here are a few things I know for sure about motherhood:

1. No matter how many anti-bacterial products you use or times you wash your hands or your child’s hands throughout the day, children are a cesspool of germs and it won’t just feel like your family is sick all the time, you will be.

2. You will go DAYS, especially in the beginning without sleep, a shower, a hot meal and/or make-up. There may even be days when you barely have a free moment to brush your teeth. This is just a phase and does pass.

3. It’s okay to mourn your old life and the days when it was just you and your husband; the days before diapers, Goodnight Moon, the Elmo theme song running through your head 24/7 and apple sauce stains on your shirt. It wasn’t that long ago and anyone that tells you that they can’t remember their life before their baby, is LYING!

4. I am convinced that no matter how sweet and innocent children seem on the outside, they are deviant and cunning on the inside. They may be new here, but they’ve got your number and know all the right buttons to push. Beware!!

5. Babysitters are worth every single penny because date nights and “me time” are absolutely essential to surviving motherhood. Having large quantities of wine on hand is good also.

6. Children are a lot more expensive than you budgeted for. A lot! They grow like weeds and get bored quickly, so the more comfortable you get with hand-me-down clothes and toys, the better.

7. You will lose the baby weight. It may take six months or three years, but you will and you can IF you put your mind to it.

8. You’ll hear it a million times and eventually repeat it, too: it goes by fast, so let the dishes sit and the laundry wait and enjoy the baby days, the milestones, sweet, tender moments and the magic.

9. Trust your instincts and listen to your gut, you know a lot more than you give yourself credit for.

10. As soon as your newborn enters the world and your eyes meet theirs, you will know true love and joy as you have never known it before. Here’s hoping you can recall that gaze at 3 o’clock in the morning when your tot throws up all over his bed and then yours and then his again. Yep, that was a very long night.

Linking up this week with Stasha’s Monday Listicles, a linky right up my alley! This week’s topic: 10 Tips For New Moms was chosen by Cookies Mom.

This post was originally written for Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop, 5.) Advice to new mothers (September 14, 2011).

In Her Shoes

Posted on August 30, 2011 Written by Tonya

I’m a walker.

I’m a stroller pusher (although these days, Lucas would rather run up ahead).

I’m a comfort seeker.

I’m a park goer.

I’m a networker.

I’m a beach comber.

I’m a diva.

I’m a mom.

Linking up with Alicia’s Wordless Wednesdays.

Lesson Plans

Posted on August 17, 2011 Written by Tonya

My son has already taught me so much in his short 26 months on earth; lessons I didn’t even realize I had learned until after the fact, some I desperately needed to learn and many I’m still struggling to embrace. I know my teacher has only just begun and there is much more wisdom to be gained, but in 26 months, here’s what I’ve learned so far:

Play, dance, sing, run, eat – essentially, do everything with abandon!
Find pleasure in the small things. There is wonder all around us, whether it’s an ant moving along the sidewalk, a water fountain, an orange tree, a song I’ve heard a hundred times or literally stopping to smell the roses.
Playtime and imagination are necessary for survival. Laundry, dishes and errands can wait, being silly cannot.
Love. As boundless as I think my love for Lucas is, it grows each and every day surprising and touching me in ways I never thought possible.
Roll with the punches, go with the flow and realize that plans change. Toddler time is different that real time and that’s okay. I’m learning to plan accordingly.
Laugh more. Some words and sounds (typically of the bodily function variety) are funny.
Patience is most definitely a virtue. This is one of those teachings I struggle with. Daily!
Connection is key. Sitting down and communicating with others helps to see things from a different perspective and lets you know they care.
Time flies when you’re having fun. Toddlers are only toddlers for a short period of time and every single moment should be appreciated.
Every now and then, a time-out is in order. Breaks are good. Counting to 10, breathing deeply and full bodied Cabernets aren’t bad either!

What is your child teaching you?

This post was written for Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop,

Prompt 4.) 10 Lessons your child could teach you.

Show Me Something I’ve Never Seen Before

Posted on July 14, 2011 Written by Tonya

Show me something I’ve never seen before; a treasured photograph of your grandparents or a handkerchief your father wore in his lapel.

Take me somewhere I’ve never been; a place where the land meets the sea, the breeze is cool and your mind calms.

Introduce me to the friend you’ve known the longest, a dish at your favorite restaurant and a book you stayed up all night reading.

Feed me tales and sweet memories of your childhood.

Walk me through the details of your wedding day right up to the moment, with hope glistening in your eyes and your voice trembling you said, “I do”.

Sing me the same soothing lullaby night after night; the one that helps ease my fears and dream vividly.

Tell me a secret and I promise to keep it safe in my heart forever.

Let me make mistakes and learn as I go, no matter how difficult it may be for you to witness.

Treat me with kindness and respect all the days of your life.

Read me a page from the journal you kept as a child so that I might have a glimpse of the dreams you had as a young girl.

Bake me oatmeal chocolate chip cookies from a recipe that has been in your family for generations.

Teach me the lyrics to your favorite song and whenever I hear it I’ll feel closer to you even if we are miles apart.

Protect me, as best you can, from negativity, bullies and cars that drive down our street much too fast.

Help me see the good in people, root for the underdog and learn to forgive by building compassion in my heart and in my soul.

Cradle me in your arms while you smooth out my hair and tenderly run your fingers down my back.

Guide me through life as though you were my tour guide, exposing me to places near and far but always emphasizing the importance of home.

Look me in the eyes when you have bad news to share or we toast to those no longer with us.

Remind me, despite my flaws, how special I am and I’ll do the same for you.

Comfort me with your words of love, honesty and praise.

Show me something I’ve never seen before, mom.

This post was featured on Natalie’s blog, Mommy of a Monster, in her weekly feature, Monster Likes #26 on Saturday, July 16, 2011.

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Ready For More!

Posted on June 13, 2011 Written by Tonya

Motherhood is no laughing matter. Okay, sometimes an eruption of giggles is what gets me through the day, but it is the hardest job I have ever had.

It’s difficult to communicate with a toddler that thinks climbing on furniture, darting into traffic and throwing his food on the floor is the funniest thing he’s ever done.

There are times when all I can do is count down to the moment Daddy gets home because what I know what Lucas and I both really need is a break from one another.

There are entire days that suck.

There are full weeks that suck.

Last week was one of those weeks for me.

Lucas refused to nap for three days in a row and I was at my wits end. I know our days of naps are numbered, but when you couple no naps with a feisty, overactive child and a mom ready to throw in the towel, bad things can happen.

I was ready to take the first 40+ hour/week job offered to me and never look back. It got that bad.

There is only so much Play-doh, Yo Gabba Gabba, cars, trains and visits to the park one mommy can handle. Not to mention the messes. Or yelling.

There’s only so much this too will pass, it’s just a phase, he’s only two years old, you’re doing a good job pep talks that I can give myself.

There’s only so much.

I even had my sister here for two days to help out, but I think that almost made things worse.

At any rate, it’s a new week, I’m feeling much better (stronger) and I’m back to learning How To Really Love Motherhood.

I found the above on Pinterest last night and it really resonated with me. For as frustrating as motherhood can be, it’s also amazing and wonderful and I do (mostly) love every minute.

In other words, I was able to unwind this weekend and now, I am ready for more!

SAHM

Posted on May 31, 2011 Written by Tonya

The other day, I read (and re-tweeted) two lists: 10 Things Never to Say to a Stay-at-Home Mom and 10 Things Never to Say to a Working Mom and both lists got me thinking about my SAHM role.

It’s been almost two years since I became a stay-at-home mom and honestly, I’m still getting used to it.

Sure, I have somewhat of a schedule: music class on Mondays, tumble class on Wednesdays, nanny help for a few hours on Tuesdays and Thursdays and a free-for-all Friday. No matter what, we get out of the house. For my sanity, just as much as Lucas’.

I like to say I’m a stay-at-home mom, that does anything but stay at home.

Apart from the classes, we have passes to Legoland, Disneyland and the zoo. There are also weekly visits to parks, libraries, toy stores, pet stores, book stores and Daddy’s office. When we’re not out and about, we’ve got a host of in-door activities, but if given the option, I’d rather be out! At home, there’s the Internet, TV, laundry and other chores. Plus, some days it feels like the walls are coming in on us.

If I was stuck inside all day every day, I would certainly lose my mind. So while I don’t have meetings to attend or a closet full of suits to wear anymore, I plan, I schedule, I organize, I manage, I orchestrate, I clean, I cook (sort of), I live for nap time, me time and date nights all while staying at home. Whatever that means…

Slowly but surely, I’m learning to embrace being a SAHM, but I’d be lying if I said that didn’t spend a lot of time day dreaming about returning to work full time.

On one hand, I can’t imagine having anyone else spend as much time with Lucas as I get to or allowing them to be such an active participate in his growth and development. I do realize how lucky I am that I am his primary care giver, but on the other hand, there are days that I would give my right arm to have a 7:30 meeting and drop him off somewhere along the way.

It’s an age-old argument, but as I see it, being a mom, stay at home or not, is hard work. No matter where you do it from.

For some, returning to work is a financial necessity and not a choice. I get that. And when I think about being a SAHM in those terms, I know I’m one of the fortunate ones.

Are you at stay-at-home mom? If so, is it by choice? Do you miss working?

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A Hundred Hearts

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Me

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Mornings

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Proud Mommy Moments

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Advice To New Mothers

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In Her Shoes

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SAHM

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