Letters For Lucas

Wonders, Mishaps, Blunders and Joy.. commentary on my life as a mom in the form of letters to my son

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Project Smile – February

Posted on February 28, 2011 Written by Tonya

It’s hard to believe it’s March 1 already! Where is 2011 going?

Some days are definitely better than others, but I LOVE Alicia (A Beautiful Mess) for putting together this monthly meme so that I challenge myself to smile through my frustration, confusion and whatever other negativity I may be experiencing each and every single day.

Here’s February:

1st – Nail appointment! I live for these…
2nd – Fun with aunt Leah on the Santa Monica Pier.
3rd – A walk with a friend.
4th – Play date at the beach and Lucas meets a new friend with lots of “choo choos”. Learning to share is hard work.
5th – Date night!
6th – Recovery and Super Bowl commercials.
7th – A nice long dinner with my dear friend, Lindsey.
8th – Jerk chicken salad at ZTeja’s.
9th – First day of Ritual Cleanse juice detox! Read all about my experience here.
10th – Made it through Day 1 and discovered my new favorite beverage, green tea.
11th – Bouncy house play date with Jackson and Cody and last day of cleanse!
12th – Nothing but blue skies, sunshine and real food.
13th – Family bike ride followed by massages at Pelican Hill. Read my Thoughts From The Massage Table.
14th – Valentine’s Day and play date with Emma and Annie.
15th – First meeting with my new women’s group… more on this in a later post.
16th – Date night!
17th – A weekend visit from Grandma.
18th – A dinner out that was maybe 35 minutes long. You just have to laugh.
19th – 80’s Prom Birthday Party! See then and now photos here.
20th – Deli sandwiches.
21st – A walk along the beach with friends after music class.
22nd – This was a rough week with the entire household coming down with a nasty cold. Lucas has been hit the worst. 23rd – Jammy day, pediatrician appointment and an unforgettable trip to the drug store.
24th – Babysitters, that are hopefully immune to the flu.
25th – One hour in Babies R Us and three baby gifts purchased. Nice to get out of the house.
26th – A visit to LA to see aunt Leah with no traffic coming or going. Shocking!!
27th – Finally starting to feel better and you know what that means? Back on the treadmill.
28th – Headaches that go away, fevers that break, humidifiers that help babies sleep and taking a chance!

Be sure to share your reasons to smile in February by visiting Alicia at A Beautiful Mess, or just stop by to check out her fancy new blog design and smile with some other lists.

See what had me grinning from ear to ear in January here.

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Filed Under: aunt leah, date night, grandparents, health, list, project smile

His & Hers

Posted on February 28, 2011 Written by Tonya

I gather the trash,
He takes it out.

He cooks,
I clean.

I plan date nights,
He books all our travel.

He watches our stocks, fights with our health insurance company and keeps us on budget.
I do the grocery shopping, pediatrician appointments and play dates.

I buy all the wedding, baby, birthday and Christmas presents,
He makes sure our cars are in working order, washed and full of gas.

I do the laundry,
He deals with the dry cleaning.

He records Top Gear,
I record Oprah.

He waters the lawn,
I buy fresh flowers.

I vacuum,
He dusts.

He handles all things electronic or that need assembly.
I buy Lucas’ clothing, books and toys.

He gets up with Lucas at the crack of dawn so that
I can sleep in.

He works six days a week so that
I can push Lucas on swings at the park, visit monkeys at the zoo, listen to story time at the library and ride on carousels.

I am lucky.
He is lucky.

We both raise our son.

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Filed Under: cooking, date night, family, life, marriage, money, oprah, outing, parenthood, parenting, praise

This Thing Has Got To Go!

Posted on February 24, 2011 Written by Tonya

My iPhone and I have a love/hate relationship and I think we need a little time a part. To put it mildly, our relationship has gotten out of hand. One of us is obsessed and the other could care less.

The iPhone: a hundred different habit forming items all in one sleek package.

What would you give for a device that was designed to keep you connected, entertained, informed and make you completely crazy?

Let me explain…

I love being able to look up anything and everything that pops in my head on the Internet; I can self-diagnose a nonexistent medical condition, figure out the name of that guy in that movie, or the title of the song that I can’t stop humming and drool over the J. Crew spring line.

I hate to use it for phone calls, but love to text.

I love that I can keep track of important dates, play Scrabble, update my Facebook status and use the built-in GPS to find my way.

I hate that it distracts me from my son, but love that I can capture daily photos of him with it.

I hate that it is the ultimate time waster and my #1 reason for not reading more, but love having it while waiting for a friend to show up for a lunch date, stuck in a long line or at my doctor’s office.

I hate being so accessible, but love that my babysitter always picks up and is quick to respond.

I love that it can hold my entire music collection and a special play list just for Lucas.

I hate that the battery life is so short. My house has five power cords and I can never find one!

I love being able to check the weather, tag a song on the radio and shake in to find the closest eatery.

I hate that the damn thing was so expensive that I treat it as a second child, even with a hard case and screen protector.

I love Tweeting long after my husband has gone to sleep and making lists of blog ideas I have at 3 in the morning.

I hate that it won’t let me use my potty mouth in texts or Tweets without auto correcting me… hell becomes he’ll, which makes absolutely no sense whatsoever!

Yes, the iPhone can be and do so many wonderful/evil things.

Okay, I am ready to take bids!

What would you give?

C’mon, you know you want one!

These things really are amazing.

Actually, looking back over my list, I do believe my loves outweigh my hates…

On second thought, I think I’ll keep it.

Grr. That damn thing, it always knows how to push my buttons.


This post is for The Red Dress Club’s writing meme, Red Writing Hood. This week’s prompt was to write a humorous ad, a la Craigslist or eBay, where you’re selling things after a breakup.

This is my 500th post!

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Filed Under: blog, internet, iphone, milestones, red writing hood Tagged With: 500, blog, internet, iphone, milestones, red writing hood

Running Amok

Posted on February 23, 2011 Written by Tonya

When it comes to my home, I run a pretty tight ship and everything has it’s place; from my kitchen pantry and linen closet to my laundry room and everything in between. I like color coordinating and alphabetization. I thrive on cleanliness and organization. I am anal about order, putting stuff away, not leaving dishes in the sink, making the bed as soon as the last person gets up and there is no eating in my car, ever! I have a lot of stuff, but everything has a home.

Yes, all of this with a toddler.

Lucas has his own play area in our home in a room that is off from our kitchen. This is the ONE and only room of the house that I TRY to wait until the end of the day to pick up because it is his space, the place where we spend the most time together and I want him to be comfortable here and be able to make a mess and not worry about it.

Okay, when he is napping I do put everything back for Round 2.

I’m trying to teach him to “clean up” after he’s finished with one activity before moving on to the next. Let’s just say, we have a long road ahead of us…

Neither of us feel well today, so in between waiting for the bleepity bleep washing machine repair man to arrive (don’t you just love four hour windows?), watching WAY too much television and a pediatrician’s appointment, I sort of let Lucas run amok.

NOTE TO SELF #1: Disaster is bound to happen when you allow a toddler run amok.

First there was this, the mess in his bedroom, where I found dozens of puzzle pieces, books and stuffed animals strewn about and dresser drawers opened. I didn’t even know he could open them!

While I was cleaning up his bedroom, another mess was being created in a different part of the house:

Not quite the crime scene that Mommy of a Monster’s twins left her, but shocking to walk in on, nevertheless.

I’m just thankful that all pens still and their caps on. Apparently, he was after the car and/or the snack cup.

The best part is the “I didn’t do anything” look on his face.

By the way, yes, I do carry three packages of Kleenex. What’s it to ya?

Clearly, my purse isn’t quite as put together as my home.

NOTE TO SELF #2: NEVER leave purse on dining room table again!

This post is for Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop Prompt 2.) What did they get into now? Describe a time your toddler got into something they shouldn’t have.

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Filed Under: health, home, mama kat's writer's workshop, mess, TV

Long Live The 80’s!

Posted on February 22, 2011 Written by Tonya

My fabulous friend, Colleen turned 40 on Saturday and threw herself an 80’s-style prom party. It was an absolute blast!!

Everyone dressed up! There was lots of neon, lace, big bows, arms full of bracelets, skinny ties, flipped up collars, leg warmers and pearls. Even the 80’s cover band, that provided enough dance music to last a lifetime, Orange County’s own, Tijuana Dogs got into the spirit.

All of my girlfriends and I have been fretting about our “prom” attire for months and it turned out for many, Ebay was the way to go. Who knew?

I, on the other hand, being the pack rat that I am still have my ACTUAL Jessica McClintock prom dress! With a little alteration to the bust line, I wore it! Crazy, huh?! I couldn’t believe it still fit either. Or that I even kept it!

I tried to mimic my 80’s hair style: big and curly and make-up: blue eyeliner and mascara. Although naturally curly, my hair doesn’t quite take a curl like it used to. Even with half a canister of mousse.

The cast of characters may have changed, hopefully we are all a little wiser. There were way more beer bellies, wedding rings and crow’s feet this time around, but the music is still the same, my friends make the world a better place and I found myself wishing the party would last All Night Long, just like I did at my high school Senior prom.

THENMy prom date was my boyfriend at the time. He had just given me the watch I’m wearing as a graduation present. Lovely gift, but looks so out of place now.


NOW

Colleen and I and our rad dates.

The birthday girl and Matt, the Tijuana Dogs lead singer.

Does this pose look familiar?

Feels just like 1988!

The totally awesome birthday cake!

I must admit, I had WAY more fun at this prom than at my own back in ’91. Maybe it was the alcohol or the music, the company or the pure nostalgia of it all, but everyone had a permanent grin on their face the entire night and my legs still hurt from dancing!

One of the best parts of the whole evening was being dropped off by Todd’s mother, who was in town visiting us for the weekend.

She waited up for us too!

This post was originally for Wordful Wednesdays and if you want to link up or see some really beautiful photographs, please visit Alicia at A Beautiful Mess and see how she effortlessly turns ordinary photos into a works of art.

This post was reposted for Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop, Prompt 4.) My prom dress.

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The Fun Has Just Begun

Posted on February 22, 2011 Written by Tonya

In the beginning, it was diapers, sleepless nights, onesies, bottles and burp cloths, but in just a few short months, Lucas started crawling and then soon after that, walking and is now talking and communicating with me like I never thought he would and I realize that the fun has only just begun.

I am blowing bubbles and playing chase in the backyard, squishing Play-Doh between my fingers and picking up puzzle pieces from all over the house.
I am taking more photos than I ever have before and making memories to last a lifetime on trips to grandma and grandpa’s, the zoo, beach and amusement parks.

I am drawing with sidewalk chalk, crayons and finger paints, playing on park swings, slides and monkey bars, getting drenched at water fountains at the mall and during bath time.

I am planning play dates, packing lunches, snacks and sippy cups and making sure my iPhone is fully charged and is loaded with plenty of kid friendly material.

I’m laughing through family dinners because I’m getting covered in spaghetti sauce, apple juice and yogurt. I’m squishing grapes and pretending to feed choo choo trains.
I am teaching letters, numbers, colors, body parts, manners, patience and more.

I am revisiting the simple joy of Disney movies, Dr. Seuss at story time, pretend and hide-and-seek.

I am kissing boo-boos better, nursing colds, attempting time outs and trying to keep my own temper tantrums in check.

I’m learning to slow down, follow bugs, stop and smell the flowers and delight in the wind.

I’m looking at world in a whole new way….

…through the eyes of my son.

 This post was featured on Natalie’s blog, Mommy of a Monster, in her weekly feature, Monster Likes #8 on Saturday, February 26, 2011.

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Filed Under: feature, mommy (of a monster) likes, motherhood, SAHM, simple joys, warm fuzzy Tagged With: feature, mommy (of a monster) likes, motherhood, SAHM, simple joys, warm fuzzy

Thoughts From The Massage Table

Posted on February 21, 2011 Written by Tonya

Anyone that knows me will tell you that I have a really hard time relaxing.

A glass or three of wine usually does the trick, as does a long walk, sitting down for more than five minutes at a time, a long car ride, as long as I’m NOT the one driving and there is ZERO traffic and a massage.

I LOVE getting massages so I was thrilled when my husband told me that he booked us spa appointments for the day before Valentine’s day. It had been over eight months since my last massage and I was really looking forward to it!

While it was very relaxing, my mind was in a million other places… here are my thoughts from the massage table:

Did I remember to lay out Lucas’ jammies and overnight diaper for the sitter? Oh, why would I need to do that, she has put him to bed before.

I wish I had had more time on the treadmill before coming in here. Oh well, there’s always tomorrow.

No, tomorrow, there will be no time for exercise. Music class followed by play date…

Dang it! Why didn’t I pee first?

At least I brushed my teeth. Whew!

Ouch, ouch, ouch, ahhhhh….

Why don’t I get massages more often?!

I have to remember to drink more water tomorrow.

I should drink more water anyway.

I can’t believe I haven’t had a Diet Coke in six days!

Okay, that really hurts! What is this lady doing to me? I don’t think my leg is meant to bend that way.

Shoot, I forgot to call my mother-in-law back. Again. When was it that she left that message? Oh yes, the day I took Lucas up to LA to visit Leah. Over a week ago. Gulp.

I hope Leah’s interview goes well tomorrow. But, Malibu? That would be a hellish commute. I guess for the right job…

How do massage therapists do this every day? Touching so many people’s feet would gross me out.

I hope the pants I brought to wear to dinner fit. I can’t remember the last time I wore them.

Did I bring the right bra?

What should I order for dinner?

That tickles.

Stop wincing.

Stop wincing.

I really wish I had peed first.

What is that heavenly smell? Is it lavender? Jasmine? Hmm… do I dare ask her? No, I do NOT want to engage!

Besides, I’m suppose to be relaxing.

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Filed Under: aunt leah, diet coke, holidays, me time, nanny, TBW

Hopes, Dreams & Wishes – Redux

Posted on February 17, 2011 Written by Tonya

I wrote this piece last year when I had all of three followers and I immediately thought of it when I read this week’s Red Writing Hood’s writing prompt: Write a piece about finding a forgotten item of clothing in the back of a drawer or closet. Let us know how the item was found, what it is, and why it’s so meaningful to you or your character.

With some editing, here is Hope, Dreams & Wishes:

Long before I ever thought I’d have children and certainly long before I had Lucas, I bought this little sweater. I found it at Old Navy, of all places. It was originally $16.50 and had been marked down to $3.99. The tag is still on it.

From the moment I saw it, I thought it was precious.

Navy blue is my favorite color and I loved the adorable red heart with the arrow going through it and something came over me and I just had to have it. I remember thinking at the time while standing in the check out line, I’m nowhere near ready to have children, why on earth am I buying this?!? I don’t even have a boyfriend.

It took me a while to realize that this tiny little sweater represented something stupendous and wonderful. Something bigger than myself. Something that was yet to be. It represented where my life was going to be someday. Where my life, if I was lucky enough, was heading…

True love, romance, marriage, children, cuddles, giggles, and a lifetime of memorable firsts and happy moments.

A childhood, not unlike my own.

The sweater stayed safely wrapped in tissue paper in the bottom of my pajama drawer for years, but each February when Valentine’s Day rolls around, I remember the sweater.

Just last week, ironically the week before Valentine’s Day, I was organizing Lucas’ closet and I came across this tiny sweater. I was about to add it to the donation pile until I realized what it was.

Maybe someday we’ll have a little sister for Lucas, as the sweater is far too feminine for him to wear and at size 3-6 months, far too small for him anyway.

I gingerly put the sweater back on the hanger, returned it to the closet and there it will stay as a peaceful reminder that so many of my hopes, dreams and wishes have already come true.

Click here to read the original piece posted February 12, 2010: Hopes, Dreams & Wishes.

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The Calm Before The Storm

Posted on February 16, 2011 Written by Tonya

Two weeks after my parents died in October 2007, after the dust had settled bit, the shock wore off some and the memorial service had been held, I returned to my job as a marketing manager for a trade publication.

It was what I had to do.

I needed to escape the sadness of my family, my home and the pressure of handling my parents estate. I wanted to use my brain on something I knew I was good at and be somewhere where I didn’t have to think about death or deal with my grief. I thought that getting back to my “regular” routine would help.

I was on auto pilot.

Almost a year later, in August 2008, I decided I needed to step away from my job and decompress from the roller coaster ride of emotions and tasks that I had at hand and just be with myself and my thoughts.

There was still a lot of work to be done; an estate to close and several trips to the house my sister I had inherited in Arizona. I also wanted to reconnect with family and start thinking about starting one of my own.

My husband, Todd was very supportive of my decision but I remember the day I gave my one month notice he said, your last day there, is going to be your last day there and the very next day, we are going to go on a trip. He was planning to take a week off work so we could do this, so we began plotting our adventure.

We could go anywhere!

We have both been all over the world… Europe, Africa, Asia. But this time, we decided to stay closer to home and planned a very different type of trip for us, a vacation that ended up being one of the best ones we have ever had together.

It was a road trip comprised of 1200 miles and three states.

We woke up when we woke up and got on the road that Saturday morning and drove; we had hotel reservations, but no agenda, no time line, just a navigation system.

First, we went to Las Vegas, the perfect place to get away from it all, let our hair down and have fun. We stayed at the beautiful Palazzo hotel, sipped cocktails as we lounged by the magnificent pool, saw LOVE, the Cirque du Soleil show and had a great time gambling, eating and drinking too much.Next, we headed to the Grand Canyon, a place even with all of my ties to Arizona, neither of us had ever seen before. It’s breathtaking and should be on everyone’s “Bucket List”.

We saw the Hoover Dam, ate at fun, eclectic diners along the route, visited the boarding school where I graduated from high school, on a whim, spent a night in beautiful, mystic Sedona and stayed a night with my sister in Phoenix.We ended up seeing more of our own state by ending our trip in Palm Springs, where the only thing we had to do was show up for a massage appointment.We covered a lot of miles, but we broke it up so that it wasn’t boring or monotonous and we talked. A lot. We talked about how different our lives were going to be with me not working anymore and what I hoped to accomplish with my time off.

We relished the sights and sounds of the highway and listened to a couple of books on tape and a ton of Dave Matthews. We played Rumi Cube in dive bars in the middle of the day and simply enjoyed being together.

That trip? It was sort of the calm before the storm and I mean that in the nicest of ways. I loved every minute of it.

A month after we returned home, we found out we were pregnant with Lucas. 🙂

This post is for Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop: Prompt 1.) A vacation to remember.

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Mindful Eating

Posted on February 16, 2011 Written by Tonya

I love food!

I love chips and salsa (the spicier the better), deep dish pepperoni pizza, big fat juicy cheeseburgers with all the fixings and a side of French fries, chocolate chip ice cream, sandwiches never without a bag of potato chips nearby, several glasses of wine at the end of my evenings and at least two Diet Cokes a day.

I didn’t eat poorly every day and when I did, I’d pay for it at the gym, on long walks to and from parks or by depriving myself for days following.

That was then and this is now.

I don’t think about food the same way any more.

It’s been one week since my husband I started the 3-day Ritual Cleanse and all everyone seems to want to know is how much weight we lost.

We didn’t do the juice diet to lose weight, but I did drop three pounds, all of which, I’m sure I have gained back because it was probably just water weight.

More important than the weight loss, I feel good and I did throughout the entire three days of the cleanse. Well, except for a minor headache at the beginning of Day 2, but it was nothing a little green tea couldn’t cure.

Day 1 was just odd. Drinking only juice and peeing A LOT and by bedtime, I was really hungry, but I pressed on…

Day 2 was my best day, I had tons of energy and felt absolutely amazing. Not having that bloated or tired or run down feeling was new to me and I liked it and wanted more of it!

Day 3 went very well too, but I was starting to get nervous about eating “real” food again the following day and didn’t want the goodness I was doing for my body to stop after I had used so much will power to stick to this three day detox.

Day 3 also prompted a lot of conversation about the way we eat as a family and different choices we wanted to make to our diet going forward. I still haven’t had a Diet Coke and don’t know when or if I will. I’m reading more labels at the super market and trying to buy only fresh organic produce and products.

My husband and I are already talking about doing the cleanse again this Spring. Believe me, if I can do it, so can you!!

If you are interested in doing something wonderful for your body in order to reset it and make more mindful eating choices, I highly suggest Ritual Cleanse.

If you have any questions about my experience or want to read more about why we did the cleanse and my half way point, here are two previous posts: Time To Detoxand Ritual Cleanse – Half Way Point and I can always be reached at smadaaynot@yahoo.com.

Thank you, Ritual Cleanse!

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Filed Under: diet coke, exercise, health, ritual cleanse, TBW, update, weight Tagged With: diet coke, exercise, favorite products, health, ritual cleanse, TBW, weight

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