clothes

Back To School

Posted on August 30, 2015 Written by Tonya

As I carefully cut price tags off shorts and hang collared shirts both one size bigger than last year, my mind is flooded with thoughts and my heart starts to ache.

I think about what a fun summer we’ve had and how I’d like a little more. A little more time with Lucas. Just Lucas.

I think about how much my boy has grown in the last three months and what an awesome child he is. He’s funny and smart, curious about everything, a great reader and super big brother.

I think about first grade and how on earth this happen so quickly. I think about all of his first days of school so far. There have been four. Starting in 2011, Lucas went to preschool two mornings a week, then three, followed by three full days a week, then four and then came Kindergarten.

I think of all that I hope this school year will be for my son.

It is his second year in what still feels like a new school to me. He, on the other hand, fits right in and I love how his eyes light up whenever he talks about it.

I hope first grade is kind to him. I hope he is kind too. To everyone!

I hope he does his best, makes new friends, learns a ton and knows that I’ll be thinking about him every day.

I run my fingers along the crisp new shirts as they hang side-by-side in the closet, no longer on baby hangers and I weep.

Heart Sweater

Posted on April 30, 2015 Written by Tonya

At first sight I had to have it.

A darling navy blue sweater with a big red heart, sized for a 3-6 month old.

I didn’t have children yet, was no where near ready to have children, nor was I married, but something drew me to it.

It symbolized so much; marriage, family, everlasting love, my future. It represented everything that I wanted in life.

Had I not found it hanging in the back of Lucas’s closet last week, I would have been beside myself. He never wore it. I didn’t even try it on him. It’s as though somewhere deep within my soul, I knew it was meant for a daughter. My daughter.

Carefully I slipped it over Lola’s head and was surprised to find that it fit perfectly. She’s 15 months old today and my long legged little girl is already wearing clothes for an 18 month old or larger. Clearly it had been mis-tagged and I am so grateful.

I paired it with a pair of jeans because babies and jeans are the best and took a ton of photos.

Of course.

Thanks to our schizophrenic Southern California weather lately, it was a chilly day, but Lola was warm and cozy and so was my heart.

I have written about the heart sweater twice before. The most recent was in 2011 and can be found here: Hopes, Dreams & Wishes.

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Pink Tutus

Posted on March 4, 2015 Written by Tonya

I never thought I’d be a mother to a girl.

I like to be pampered just as much as the next woman, I get my nails done every three weeks or so and enjoy looking pretty and getting made up, but my style is simple and classic (some would say boring) and there is very little pink, frills or lace in my closet. There are five steps to my make-up routine and I have never owned, worn or coveted a tutu. I never took ballet as a child, which probably is why I am such a klutz in my cardio barre class, which is heavily ballet based.

I also had (for lack of a better word) a complete crap relationship with my own mother so relating to women in many ways has been challenging for me. The thought of having a daughter of my own, raising a daughter terrifies me.

I have been pleasantly surprised by my daughter, Lola. Granted we’re only 13 months in but she’s amazing and so very very different than her brother. I don’t know that that is a boy/girl thing or just the simple fact that they are different people.

Obviously she’s not showing feminine or masculine tendencies at this point because I dress her and she has very little hair, wears a lot of her older brother’s hand-me-downs and plays with his now neglected Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Thomas the Tank trains and Matchbox cars. I’m fully expecting this all to change and in a big way but hopefully I’ll have a say in her attire for a little while longer.

When Lola was born, my friend Wendi gave us a size 12 month Hello Kitty tutu and a stern warning to, “get ready, this is what you have to look forward to”. Having a daughter of her own she presumably knows what I am up against.

She could be right.

When I was going through Lola’s closet recently I found the tutu and slipped it around her middle.

My heart almost exploded, first at the hilarity of it and then at how utterly adorable she looked. She started swinging her hips as if she was born to wear it. How on earth would she know to do that? The joy on her face was pure. She loved it and knew she looked cute. Perhaps all babies are delicious in tutus but this is one piece of clothing I never thought under any circumstances would I ever buy for my daughter.

As I watched Lola twirl around my bathroom, all of a sudden I saw a very bright hot pink hue of a future flash before my eyes and I know without a doubt there will be many more tutus.

What I’ll Miss

Posted on October 27, 2014 Written by Tonya

As I sit down on the couch to fold a load of my children’s clothes, still fresh and warm from the dryer I start to think of all the things I am going to miss.

Lola’s owl pajamas trimmed in sea foam green, the long-sleeve onesie that says “I love Daddy” across the front, Lucas’s Star Wars and superhero T-shirts, socks embedded with sand, and a pair of camouflage pants with a stain on the knee that no matter how hard I try, can’t seem to remove.

These little clothes.

They are outgrowing them faster than I’d like.

Faster than I imagined.

There’s other things too; morning “Mommy snuggles”, as Lucas calls them, him telling me I’m beautiful, coming up behind me and hugging my legs, asking for one more book or to “play with me”, his sneaky screen time shenanigans/negotiations, willingly wearing whatever I lay out for him each day and the questions. So many questions! Someday he’ll know more than me and have way more credible sources.

Lola is on her way to walking and with that will come a freedom she’s never known. It’s an exciting and witnessing a baby experience things for the first time is pure magic. Right now it is a daily occurrence and so hard to believe we are nine months into a year of her firsts.

It goes by fast. I’ve heard it from day one of becoming a mother and it’s true. Cliché, but the truest statement about parenthood.

One day you’re rocking your newborn to sleep in a freshly painted nursery with new sheets on a crib surrounded by stuffed animals and diapers and other baby paraphernalia you never even knew existed trying to remember the words to “Hush, Little Baby” and the next, you’re sending them off to kindergarten with a backpack twice their size, reviewing sight words, hosting sleepovers, building with Legos and worried that soon you won’t be able to pick them up any longer.

I love being a mother. I especially love being a mother to Lucas and Lola. Each day is eerily similar but also very different from the last.

I adore these children, these little humans full of life and love and growing and changing right before my eyes. There are more things than I cannot count about these precious days and these precious people I will miss.

Embracing Pink

Posted on July 21, 2014 Written by Tonya

I am in no way, shape or form a girly girl, which according to Wikipedia is defined as:

“…a slang term for a girl or woman who chooses to dress and behave in an especially feminine style, such as wearing pink, using make-up, using perfume, dressing in skirts, dresses and blouses, and talking about relationships and other activities which are associated with the traditional gender role of a girl.”

I’m not into ribbons and bows, lace or frilly flowery things.

I don’t wear a lot of makeup, if any, absolutely no sparkly stuff and you can typically find my hair pulled back in a ponytail under a baseball cap.

There are way more pairs of jeans and sneakers in my closet than dresses, blouses or heels. In fact, I look like the Jolly Green Giant whenever I try to walk in heels. Seriously, there should be a class.

I don’t like to shop, hate gossip, except of the celebrity variety and don’t know the current “in” princesses, although you’d have to be living under a rock not to have heard about Elsa and Anna.

And I hate the color pink!

It’s funny though, when Lucas was born I grew so tired of blue, my favorite color that very much out of character bought a hot pink wallet and then later purse to match.

Feeling engulfed by boys (just the two… my husband and son) I started to get comfortable with my feminine side. I began to enjoy getting dressed up in heels and dresses for date nights and dinner with my girlfriends and asked a friend more than once to help me apply my makeup.

Before the ultrasound tech could confirm I was having a boy with Lucas I knew and the same thing happened with Lola. I just felt she was a girl. I have always dreaded the possibility of having a daughter, which deserves to be the subject of its own post, but one main reason is because I still feel so out of touch with girly things.

And let’s face it, too much pink can be sickening!I refuse to buy Lola pink anything, but I still seem to be surrounded by the hue.

So while I’m not looking forward to braiding hair, pretend spa in my living room, cleaning up piles of glitter or the sheer drama that comes with being a female, I am s l o w l y embracing pink and hoping that Lola finds her own style as she grows, just so long as it isn’t to girly girl.

Beating Myself Up

Posted on March 31, 2014 Written by Tonya

Last week I went to Old Navy to get Lucas some play shorts and t-shirts and pants for school (what is it about boys wearing out the knees in every single pair of pants they wear?!). I like Old Navy a lot; they have a great selection, true to fit sizes and the price is always right.

Occasionally I’ll buy something fun and trendy for me there as well and right now all of the super cute light-colored springy items have hit their racks and it was too tempting for me. For the better part of eight months all I’ve worn are stretchy pants with secret tummy panels and billowy shirts with elastic along the sides. I’m ready to shop!!

But seriously, what the hell was I thinking trying on pants? I am so far from my pre-pregnancy weight, let alone my pre-pregnancy body. I am able to fit into my “fat” jeans, but none of my true regular pants yet. Those are several sizes from where I am today.

When I was pregnant with Lucas I gained 33 pounds. This time around, 44. 44!! I’m blaming the fertility meds I was on the first trimester and my adoration of baked goods and sandwiches. I’m already down 30 pounds and I know the last 10 are the hardest, but I want results NOW!!

I’ve been walking a lot and since bringing Lola home have worked back up to 4 miles 3 to 4 times a week but it’s time to kick it up a notch…. more cardio, less carbs and maybe enlist a professional! I’ve never been on a diet or nutrition plan, but I’m ready to make some serious changes in my diet.

It’s also time to give myself a break.

It took 9+ months to put all that weight on, I was creating a human for God’s sake so it’s going take a while to get back the way I was.

If I ever do.

The problem is I live in the worst place on the planet for a woman’s body consciousness. Southern California is full of beautiful and fit people. And it can be a very judge-y environment. In my case, most of it self inflicted, but with so much healthy living going on around you, it’s hard not to get caught up in it. I’ve shared my thoughts on weight here and here before but pregnancy is different.

Isn’t it?

I love exercising and I’m not above hard work. I know I’ll get there, but why do I beat myself up like this and why can’t all tags say this? And better yet, why can’t we believe it?

Click on image for source.

A good reminder for us all, no?

If It’s A Boy…

Posted on September 30, 2013 Written by Tonya

When I was pregnant with Lucas, even after finding out he was a boy, we consciously registered for and bought a lot of gender neutral items… reds, tans, greens. Even his nursery furniture and decor could go either way.

But, clothes are a whole different ball of wax.

I have diligently saved all of my favorite articles of clothing that Lucas has outgrown, others I donate or pass along to friends.

If our next baby is a boy, he’ll be set! He’ll be able to wear practically brand new and/or gently used onesies covered with footballs, basketballs and baseballs, several pairs of Vans sneakers, brown loafers, Crocs with Spiderman buttons, Superman, Star Wars, Cars, airplane and vintage car T-shirts, an adorable vest with a train on it, countless blue, brown and black striped and collared shirts, so many cargo pants I’ll never have to buy another pair and dinosaur, monster, pirate, insects and boat pajamas.

If this baby is a girl…we’re screwed!

Guess what? I revealed Sunday that we are having a girl when I participated in RESOLVE’s inaugural Southern California Walk of Hope.

More than 280 walkers and $50,000 raised for RESOLVE. These funds will support local fertility programming, public awareness initiatives, and advocacy efforts to ensure that all family building options are available to all. No one should face infertility alone.

I walked for my daughter, in hope that she never faces the fertility struggles that I have and if she does, she’ll know she is not alone.

More on being a mother to a girl later…

Walk of Hope – September 29, 2013

14 Weeks, 3 Days

Posted on September 12, 2013 Written by Tonya

I had heard rumors that with your second child, you start showing sooner than with your first. Your body has been here before, your stomach muscles aren’t as strong as they were due to the stretching from your first pregnancy, blah, blah, blah.

Turns out, this is true. SO true!

With Lucas I was almost 16 weeks along before there was a real bump. This time around and the real reason we had to share our news, I popped at just over 13 weeks. A full three weeks earlier! I had wanted to wait to tell people until we had made it half way, but, with a dead giveaway right smack dab in the middle of my body, we had to come clean.

I stuffed myself into my favorite pair of size 29, low rise jeans for the Justin Timberlake/Jay Z concert on July 28, the first day I really noticed my body was changing and although it didn’t keep me from dancing my ass off, I was uncomfortable as hell the entire night.

It took my husband a few days after that to get to our storage unit but I was giddy when he walked in the door carrying this….

my relief.

I wore my first maternity clothes at 14 weeks 3 days.

Why I Hate Clothes Shopping

Posted on August 6, 2013 Written by Tonya

We all have that friend that looks like she just walked off the pages of the latest magazine… no matter what the event, she is impeccably put together head to toe, wearing the latest styles, “in” colors and jewelry to match. As much as you want to hate her, you admire her, even envy her and above all wish you could either consult her before leaving your house or raid her closet.

I hate clothes shopping!! It is on my top five list of activities I despise the most. Just thinking about it causes me anxiety. I wander around clothing stores aimlessly, completely overwhelmed, purposely avoiding the overbearing sales staff, fingering through beautiful racks of clothing and getting more and more frustrated that I’m not a size two. I’m actually okay with my body and size, I’ve been every where from a size 6 to a 10 and back again. These days I’m somewhere in between, but shopping for and putting together outfits is not my forte no matter what size I am.

I always admire the flawlessly dressed, coiffed and accessorized mannequins in the windows, but as soon as I foolishly think for one second that I can replicate their look, I fall flat. Or the store is out of my size. Or (and this is more than likely the case) it NEVER looks as good on me as the display.

The other extremely annoying phenomena that occurs upon entering a clothing store is I get closet amnesia and can never seem to remember what I already have at home. Hence the reason I end up with more stripes or black shirts.

I never feel less put together, frumpy, clueless or out of my element than when trying to clothes shop.

And don’t even get me started on three way mirrors! They are seriously a cruel joke and because of them, I hardly ever try anything on in the store and therefore end up returning a lot of items. Last week alone, I’ve bought and returned four things. To four different stores! I ended up with nothing.

Once, I enlisted my fashionista friend (as described above) and owner of Inside Out, Wardrobe Rehab to help me overhaul my closet and I shared my experience here. I think it might be time for another session.

At least I’m not alone, according to a study I found online, only 29% of women actually admit to enjoying going out to buy something to wear.

However, I read another study that said, assuming a woman lives to be 63, she will spend 25,184 hours and 53 minutes of her life buying things. On a yearly basis, this adds up to just shy of 400 hours. 95 of which are dedicated to buying food, which makes sense as I know I’m at the super market at least twice a week! 170 hours are dedicated to buying clothes. 170 hours of clothes shopping?! I’d rather have a root canal every day for a week or have my friend dress me.

Do you like clothes shopping?

Morgan’s List Of What NOT To Wear To BlogHer

Posted on July 31, 2011 Written by Tonya

While I’m still enjoying a little R&R in Hawaii (I’ll try not to rub it in), my friend, Morgan of The Little Hen House is here to keep you company.

I’m happy to say that Morgan is a IRL (In Real Life) friend and she is simply darling. Her writing is everything mine isn’t; witty, sarcastic and laugh out loud funny.

Morgan is also a mother to two adorable little girls whom Lucas loves spending time with, she raises chickens, writes for several mommy-centric Web sites, shares great advice on blogging, hosts a weekly Dr. Mom feature featuring her own mother and because she doesn’t have a TV, spends A LOT of time scouring the Internet for sometimes bizarre and always hilarious items.

The other thing Morgan does really well is Top Ten lists and here is one that she’d like to share with all of us…
________________________________________________________

There has been a lot of talk about what to wear to BlogHer ’11 this year, and shoes are no exception. If you’ve ever been to a blog conference before, then you know one thing is for certain: There are going to be many, many bloggers wearing really cute shoes.

If you are shoe-challenged, then have no fear! Sometimes the process of elimination is the best way to decide what to wear. So, here is a list of the Top Ten Shoes You DON’T Want to Wear to BlogHer ’11:

Butt-Toning Sandals:

Because this isn’t the “special” look you want to be going for.

Teeva High Heels:

Just don’t even go there, ok?

High Heel Flip Flops:

There will be people wearing high heels and there will be people wearing flip flops. You can’t have it both ways.

Nike Clogs:

Wear Nikes, wear Crocs, just don’t wear these.

Thigh High Converse:

*sigh*

Pink Leopard Wedge:

The quickest way to take a little black dress from “day” to “street walker”.

Stripper Shoes:

This shouldn’t need any explanation. If it does, I think the conference you are looking for is in Vegas.

Five Finger Running Shoes:

I don’t care how comfortable they are, they just creep me out.

Scary High Heel:

These take the term “spike heel” to another level.

Pony Heels:

There are no words.

I hope that gave you a little direction! Stay away from any of the ten styles above and I can guarantee that you won’t be the worst dressed person in the room. You’re welcome!

I urge you to follow Morgan on Twitter and Facebook and look for her epic posts on hosting a celebrity baby shower, Top Ten Reasons I Suspect My Children Might Be Trying To Kill Me and Celebrity Guest Post: My Summer Plans with everyone’s favorite gal pal, Gwynie.

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Back To School

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