Letters For Lucas

Wonders, Mishaps, Blunders and Joy.. commentary on my life as a mom in the form of letters to my son

Adding To Our Family

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The last time I owned a pet (other than a fish), I was 13. 32 years ago today (!) my family got a puppy.

The day we brought Licorice home, October 5, 1979.

Part Labrador, part Poodle and way before they were called Labradoodles, Licorice was black with a little patch of white fur on her chest. She was sweetest and smartest dog I’ve ever been around.

Running along the ocean was one of Licorice’s favorite activities and we had to spell the word beach or she would go bonkers.

Despite sleeping at the foot of my bed, to be fair Licorice was my mother’s dog. We had her for six years and when we moved, we gave her to some friends that lived down the street.

My mother and Licorice, circa 1982

It’s time for another dog.

My husband STRONGLY disagrees.

ARGUMENTS FOR GETTING A DOG:

  • We’ve been wanting to add to our family. A pet would be a perfect addition teaching Lucas responsibility and giving him a wonderful life long playmate.
  • We have a large backyard with plenty of room for a pooch to roam.
  • I don’t think a more unconditional love exists than the one between a dog and it’s owner. Even when you’re feeling (and acting) miserable, they still love you.
  • Lucas really like dogs, although to be honest (much to my chagrin), he seems like more of a cat person. WE WILL NOT BE OWNING A CAT!! EVER.
  • I love to walk and vow to be in charge of this daily (and nightly) activity.
  • Extra security… for when my husband travels.
  • Opportunity to give a dog a second chance by adopting or saving a pound puppy.
  • Who could resist these precious faces?

Image courtesy of Pinterest. Click image for source.

Image courtesy of Pinterest. Click image for source.

Image courtesy of Snowesti. Click image for source.

ARGUMENTS AGAINST GETTING A DOG:

  • Discovering my favorite shoes chewed to smithereens.
  • We can’t even potty train our son, how would we ever potty train an animal?
  • No more spontaneous (or the other variety) trips – kenneling is expensive.
  • Vet care, food, toys, bedding, treats, etc. are also expensive.
  • Training. Ugh!
  • Shedding. Sigh.
  • Poop.
  • Saying good-bye is inevitable.

Okay, he may have won this argument… for now.

What do you think? Do you own a dog? What love and hate about pet ownership?

This post was written for Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop, 1.) Share a disagreement you’re having with someone and let your readers be the judge!

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The Summer Of ’69

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Every now and then I have an undeniable and almost desperate need to be with family, members of my parents family that is.

Specifically my father’s family.

I want to talk about my father, ask questions and hear anecdotes about when he was a boy, a young man, how he was as a brother, an uncle and a friend.

I want to remember and hear about him being alive.

Last weekend, my sister and I took Lucas to visit our aunt and uncle (my father’s middle brother). We haven’t seen one another since Lucas was four months old.

Since my father died, seeing my uncle David will always be bittersweet. The resemblance to my father is uncanny and their mannerisms are so similar. I loved witnessing my uncle interact with Lucas. His tone and actions are so much like I imagine my father’s would be had he lived to be a grandparent. 

One of the highlights of this trip, aside from being with family, was seeing the church my parents were married in 42 years ago on August 23, 1969.

Luckily, my sister carries this photo with her in her wallet. This awful reproduction was taken with my phone and the photo was just what we needed to confirm the exact side of the church my newlywed parents must have exited through, as there are many!

What dreams did they have have for themselves and their future together at the moment this photo was taken. Were they scared? Confident in their choice of life partners? Nervous about the journey that lie ahead, or simply deliriously happy and in love? I hope it was a combination of all four.

Family history is so important. It not only tells us who we are and where we come from, but it helps us remember when we are sad and it is one of the main reasons that I write, so that Lucas may know his (and me) better.

Family history is preserved through our children.

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Dear Baby Girl

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Robin is one of my favorite writers and her blog, Farewell, Stranger is one I never miss. Robin’s writing is raw and thoughtful and eloquent. I have devoured every word of her brave journey through postpartum depression and especially love her posts about her three-year-old son, Connor, who could be the Canadian version of Lucas.

I had the pleasure of rooming with Robin the first night of BlogHer ’11 and we stayed up until after 2:00 AM talking. To say that I hope we get another opportunity to do that again someday would be an understatement.

I am so pleased to have Robin here today with a letter to her baby girl. Confused? Keep reading….

Dear Baby Girl,

For a few months now Connor has been talking about his baby sister.

“I’m going to have a baby sister,” he said one day.

“When my baby sister comes, I’m going to teach her how to paint,” he informed me a couple of weeks ago. He was wrist deep in watercolor paint at the time, and the image of the two of you creating art together nearly made me cry (which surely would have smeared my own amateur work of art).

One day I asked him when his baby sister was coming.

“On Friday,” he said, his voice confident and sure.

I laughed of course, because he seems to be under the impression we merely have to order a baby and go to the hospital to pick it up. (It’s Grandma’s fault, because when he asked her recently where babies come from she took the admittedly smart approach and told him they grow in the mommy’s tummy and then you go to the hospital to get them.)

I wish it were that easy. If we could have you with us on Friday, I’d leave for the hospital right now and wait in happy anticipation.

That’s not how it works, sadly, but I’m intrigued that your three-year-old brother is so sure you’re coming to live with us.

Nine years ago, when we bought our first house and it was being built, your dad and I stood on the ground outside with nothing but the skeleton of a house surrounding us and thought about what it would be like to live there. It was getting dark – the sun was going down in the hills to the east, and I could see footprints in the dirt beneath us from the workers who had been there that day.

Suddenly I had an image in my mind, clear as a photograph, of our family. Four of us – your dad and I, a boy and a girl. I dismissed it as a silly dream or wishful thinking and didn’t even mention it to your dad at the time. It was too much like picturing the “perfect” family.

I actually always imagined I’d have a girl first, so when your brother came along I was surprised. And that led me to wonder whether maybe my quickly-dismissed vision from that long ago day wasn’t in fact worth paying attention to.

Your dad and I had never really talked to Connor about having another baby. He just started talking about it on his own, and has mentioned his “little sister” to Grandma as well. None of his good friends have little sisters – they’re all little brothers – so I really don’t know where he got the idea.

Maybe he knows something we don’t. I sure hope so, because our family isn’t complete yet and I’d be very happy if you’d come and join us.

Love,

Mama

P.S. If you turn out to be a boy, that’s okay too.

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Juxtaposition

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I was tweeting with @mommyofamonster and @projectalicia today about our young children starting preschool and older children going back to school and mommy time and our kids in general and how fast they grow up and then I read Four Plus An Angel’s beautiful post, As You Begin School and as the day wore on I started to feel melancholy and uncertain and really missing my son. 

Melancholy because noon could not come soon enough. Three hours a part was three hours too many today. I relished my “me time” and although I was able to get a lot accomplished without Lucas in tow, my thoughts and heart were with him.

Uncertain because Lucas is only two years old and on Day 14 of preschool and I feel as though his father and I keep reminding ourselves why he is there; it’s good for him socially and his vocabulary and retention are vast.

So far, he’s doing great! Drop offs and goodbyes are getting easier (on both of us) and the art projects he proudly hands me at the end of his school day adorn our refrigerator with love. 

Part of me is over the moon excited for him to expand his horizons and grow and learn, while the other part is completely torn up inside and worried that I’m losing my baby too soon.

It’s bittersweet, but I know the latter is inevitable.

Backpack as big as he is in one hand and a lovey in the other.

Could this kid be any cuter?

At Lucas' school, they help potty train. How awesome is that?!

These are special days and fleeting and let’s face it, there are only so many firsts we all have.

I hope your babies children have a great semester!

This post was written for Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop, 3.) First day of school pictures…let’s have ’em!


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The Summer That Was

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If Memorial Day marks the beginning of summer, Labor Day marks the end.

Sigh…

Here are our summer highlights:

We celebrated someone turning two with a bounce house party and someone else (gulp) turning 39 on a Duffy boat. Both parties included cupcakes!

There were toes in the sand, afternoons spent in wet bathing suits and sun screen applied almost daily.

There were trips to the park, sweet treats devoured and rainbows found while sailing on the ocean.

We had fun at the circus, on the water pad at Legoland and met idols at Disneyland.

There was a girls’ weekend in Palm Springs, a blog conference in San Diego and a glorious week in Hawaii.

Lucas started school and we have already proudly covered our refrigerator with adorable art work.

There was a visit to Grandma and Grandpa’s house and a mini roller coaster ride with fearless cousins.

It was a great summer, full of milestones and memories.

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Wishing everyone a happy and safe Labor Day weekend!

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In Her Shoes

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I’m a walker.

I’m a stroller pusher (although these days, Lucas would rather run up ahead).

I’m a comfort seeker.

I’m a park goer.

I’m a networker.

I’m a beach comber.

I’m a diva.

I’m a mom.

Linking up with Alicia’s Wordless Wednesdays.

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Top 10 Best Things About Going To Disneyland Without Children

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1. No diaper bag to pack.

2. No maneuvering a stroller throughout the park.

3. Not having to ride It’s a Small World, Dumbo the Flying Elephant, King Arthur’s Carrousel, Mad Tea Party, or anything else that’s slow and safe and clearly made for people under three feet tall. 

4. Not having to stand in ridiculously long lines to meet Mickey, Minnie, Goofy or any other character.

5. No over-priced souvenirs to purchase.

6. No temper tantrums, melt downs or crying fits due to heat, hunger, lack of patience, sweet treats or exhaustion. 

7. Staying way after dark.

8. Other moms that have a Disneyland Passport!

9. Feeling 15 again, as I my laugh with glee on Tower of Terror, Space Mountain, California Screamin’ and Indian Jones Adventure.

10. Capturing pictures like this:

This post was inspired by Stasha’s Monday Listicles, a linky right up my alley!


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Two Years Old

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Letters For Lucas is two years old today!

I can’t believe I’ve been at this for two years.

There have been two redesigns, 682 posts, 12 guest posts, two blog conferences, many communities joined, countless photos shared, lots of self promoting tweets, tons of supportive retweets and some of the greatest friends made.

Over the past two years, I’m proud of how my voice has shone through in my writing and my writing has helped me explore my emotions regarding being a mother, sister, parentless parent and softie at heart.

I love my little space on the Internet. I love my readers and all the connections I have made through blogging, but the real reason I do this, aside from maintaining my sanity, is this precious little boy:

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Lucas is the inspiration for every single post I write and I hope someday he enjoys reading Letters For Lucas as much as I enjoy writing it. I hope my words give him greater insight to all of his mother’s complexities and offer us hours of conversation.Here’s to another two years and beyond!

A very special thank you to Morgan for these lovely photos of Lucas. She captured him to a tee; all of his sweet, mischievous, wonderful, curious, M&M and dirt loving magic. Thank you!

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Dessert Is Served

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With currently 34 boards and over 1700 pins, it was time I finally took the plunge.

It was time that I actually made something that I found on Pinterest.

I did and it was awesome, but don’t take my word for it…

Last Saturday night I had Cheryl, Deb, Monique and Morgan over to enjoy several glasses of wine have a BlogHer post mordem and with my husband out of town, Lucas served as my co-host. Dinner was ordered over the phone, everyone brought wine and I made dessert.

Behold Oreo Cookie Cheesecakes:
(From Martha Stewart’s Cupcakes)

This is HUGE for me because I don’t cook or bake, nor do I take very good photos of food. Please visit La Mia Vita Dolce for proper magazine style shots that will make you drool.

The recipe:

Makes 30

  • 42 Oreo, cream-filled chocolate sandwich cookies, 30 left whole and 12 coarsely chopped
  • 2 pounds cream cheese, room temperature
  • 1 cup sugar
  • 1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
  • 4 large eggs, room temperature, lightly beaten
  • 1 cup sour cream
  • Pinch of salt
  1. Preheat oven to 275° F.  Line standard muffin tins with paper liners. Place 1 whole Oreo cookie in the bottom of each lined muffin cup.
  2. In the bowl of a stand mixer, fitted with the paddle attachment, beat cream cheese on medium-high speed until smooth, scraping down sides of the bowl as needed. Gradually add the sugar, and beat until combined. Beat in the vanilla.
  3. Drizzle in eggs, a little at a time, beating to combine and scraping down sides of bowl as needed. Add in sour cream and salt, beat to combine. Using a large spatula, fold in the chopped Oreo cookies.
  4. Divide batter evenly among the cookie-filled muffin cups, fill each cup almost to the top. Bake, rotating muffin tins halfway through, until the filling is set, about 22 to 28 minutes. Transfer the muffins tins to a wire rack to cool completely. Refrigerate (in the muffin tins) at least 4 hours (or overnight).
  5. Add a dollop of whipped cream and a mini Oreo for the coup de gras.

I defy you not to love these.

And if you’re not on Pinterest yet, what are you waiting for?! It’s super fun.

Julie of Dutch Being Me has come up with a fun idea called 52 Weeks of Pinterest, challenging everyone to do just one thing each week inspired by a pin they found on Pinterest. Check it out! The challenge begins the first full week of September and I am definitely participating.

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