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I’m That Mom

Posted on April 23, 2014 Written by Tonya

I have ironed my four-year-old’s shirt for school because I want him to look put together and “proper”. I’ve also let him go to school with toothpaste on his collar and a dried milk mustache.

I’ve never worn slippers to my son’s preschool but I have gone without a bra.

I’ll show up 20 minutes early to pick Lucas up on the first day back to school after Spring Break because I missed him but I’ve also (one time only!) been 13 minutes late.

I’ll make declarations that under no circumstances will I buy anything at the toy store and then cave and get something because I want to play with it too.

I make mundane chores like unloading the dishwasher and sorting laundry seem like games so that my son will help me.

I’ve left the house without diapers or bottles, but enough of Lucas’s favorite snacks to feed a small country.

I’ve handed over my phone at 6:30 in the morning so that Lucas could Angry Birds Go! and I could get a few extra minutes of sleep but I’ve also gotten up earlier than that to make chocolate croissants, pack his lunch and assemble 25 snack bags for his classmates.

I’ll make plans and promises to do something and then let my son down, but I hope I’ve also exceeded his expectations with elaborate outings, surprise play dates and fun after school arts and crafts.

I’ve chased my boy around the park playing hide-and-seek until I was sweaty and out of breath and I’ve also sat quietly on a bench and watched him navigate monkey bars and potential new friends.

I’ve lied and said I didn’t know the answer to one of his million questions and I’ve also taken the time to explain things in great detail, looked up poisonous frogs on the Internet and searched for images of Katy Perry so he could “see what she looks like”.

I’ve tucked Lucas into bed to read on his own and I’ve also kept him up past his bedtime to read all 8 newly checked out of the library books.

Parenting is full of contradictions. Some days it’s more no’s than yes’s, lots of yelling and high levels of frustration and others it’s full of synergy, connection and giggles. You win some and you lose some. My children make me weak and strong and everything in between. I hope they always feel my love.

I’m *that* mom.

The one you sometimes roll your eyes at because she seems to have everything together, all the balls are somehow magically juggling perfectly in sync and she has a total Martha Stewart thing going on or you’ve rolled your eyes and scoffed because she (and her children) appear completely clueless, disengaged and disheveled, she’s late, misses deadlines and always looks like she just rolled out of bed.

Yep, I’m *that* mom.

Aren’t you?

Obsessions

Posted on February 20, 2014 Written by Tonya

Lucas goes through phases when all he wants to talk about are planets or dinosaurs, pirates or sea life, Legos and most recently learning and belting out every last word of the Frozen soundtrack, but every now and then he gets a true obsession for something and it becomes all consuming.

The first and thankfully shortest lived obsession was with Elmo. Now he won’t give Sesame Street the time of day. While there was no annoying red squeaky voiced monster when I was growing up, I loved watching Sesame Street and the Muppets and learned a lot from those shows, but there far too many [better] options nowadays.

Next came his Thomas the Tank Engine & Friends obsession. We have tracks of all shapes and sizes and dozens of trains, we memorized the theme song, spent a Day Out With Thomas and have logged countless hours around the train table.

Still going strong is his passion for Cars and Cars 2. Lucas has at least 100 die cast cars from the movies and has expanded his collection to include Microdrifters, Squinkies and Mighty Beans. He owns half a dozen track sets and loves lining up cars by color, gender, bad guy vs. good guy, first movie vs. second, World Grand Prix racers, Radiator Springs friends, etc., etc. It’s exhausting but a passion that both my husband and I encourage and enthusiastically contribute to.

Lucas’s dad sells cars for a living so I’m sure he’ll always have a love for them too, he even talks about being a race car driver when he grows up (God help me and my poor heart if in fact that happens). One of my favorite things he has ever said is, “I wish Lightening McQueen and Tow Mater were real so they could teach me how to be a race car driver”.

Lucas’s latest obsession is with Angry Birds and more specifically, Star Wars Angry Birds. This started with the original app/game, which I still refuse to play or download on my phone but his dad has. It soon became a favorite and then graduated to more apps/games, books, light sabers, stuffed animals, underwear, Telepods, dishes, Angry Bird GO! carts, Star Wars Angry Birds Jenga game sets and to date as a family, we have watched four of the six Star Wars movies [SIDE NOTE: can you believe the first Star Wars movie came out in 1977??] and are constantly being quizzed about all the characters, their strengths and weaknesses, weapons of choice, home planets, alliances, etc. We don’t leave the house without his Star Wars Angry Birds Character Encyclopedia.

Recently Lucas lost one of his tiny Telepods (C3P-YOLK) in the car and days after Todd tore the thing apart trying to find it, it rolled out from underneath the passenger seat. Look how happy he was to be reunited. Notice the shirt.

This current passion is cute, but exhausting. I suppose real strategy and vivid imagination are being used to play these games and act out different scenarios, so he’s benefiting in that way and I’m quite sure another obsession is ~~waiting~~ lurking just around the corner…

What is your child’s current obsession?

Word Of The Year

Posted on January 27, 2014 Written by Tonya

Okay, so the first month of the new year is almost over and I’m just now getting around to this…

It seems like a silly exercise, picking a single word or theme for the entire year, but I prefer it over making resolutions any day and it does help to focus on want is truly important.

Last year it came to me so easily… the word peace. It was what I was seeking, longing for and needing so desperately in my life.

Just days after the new year began I found out I was yet again not pregnant following a third or fourth (I lost count) IUI. It had been our 13th attempt and I was depressed and angry and although somehow not ready to give up, ready for resolution and peace. Peace in my heart and quiet in my mind.

Two months later we ended up back where had started, at IVF and this time it proved successful and with it came some peace and a lot of joy but always tethered with doubt and worry.

I don’t know that I necessarily achieved the level of peace I was looking for in 2013, but there were certainly moments when I felt reflective and rested, as if everything was going to be okay. I carried that feeling with me throughout the year and throughout my pregnancy.

The last half of 2013 came with many changes for our family and lots of upheaval, a big move into our dream house and now we are in the throes of getting ready for our new baby. It’s a very exciting time!

This year I want to embrace all the change headed my way and be with it.

Fully.
Completely.
Absolutely.
Perfectly.

Come what may….

What’s your word of the year and are you living up to it so far?

The Birth Plan

Posted on January 3, 2014 Written by Tonya

While I know can’t control anything about my baby’s arrival, I can create a birth plan, the in a perfect world, if the stars are aligned, ideal scenario of how I’d like my baby’s birth to be handled.

Long before I was pregnant with Lucas, I had always wanted a natural un-medicated birth without unnecessary medical or chemical intervention whatsoever and whenever I would express this to family and friends, I would get an eye roll or pat on the shoulder with a condescending, “oh, okay”. I didn’t know anyone who had done this before, although much of my mother’s delivery of my sister had been un-medicated and I figured if she could do it, I could too. Plus, I have a high tolerance for pain and I felt it was what our bodies are designed to do, so why not let them do it?

Upon getting pregnant I did my research, because knowledge is power. I read everything I could get my hands on, watched documentaries, talked to doctors, doulas, midwives and women who had both successful and scary home births and women who had had prolonged hospital labors with and without drugs. I wanted to learn everything I could about positive and negative effects of epidurals, Pitocin, and other drugs and intervention, C-sections and creating the best possible birthing team.

At the end of all my research, I decided that this was a very personal choice and that only I had the power to plan the kind of birth that was right for me. The birth experience is a very personal thing. It’s not for me to say what you should do, but I can tell you what I chose to do.

I chose to hire a doula to help guide me through labor and delivery, labor at home for as long as I could, but deliver at the hospital and completely without drugs.

Once I made this decision and shared it with anyone who asked, the “oh, okay’s” were back and I could tell that no one really believed I could or would go through with it, including my own OB/Gyn!

Guess what? I did it! And yes, it was a pain like I had never experienced before or since and it most certainly did not happen how I had ~~planned~~ hoped; my doula never showed up, my soothing birth day playlist was never played, candles weren’t lit and all breathing and visualization techniques were forgotten, but my labor went extremely fast and by the time we arrived at the hospital I was already 8 centimeters dilated and my water broke on the delivery table. The nursing staff was incredibly supportive and empowered me in just the ways I needed.

I was an active participant in my child’s birth and that was all I cared about. Neither of us were doped up afterwards and within a couple of hours, I could get up and walk around.

Lucas, just hours old.

I hope to have a similar experience with baby #2, but only time will tell…

What kind of delivery did you plan for and what kind did you end up having?

Six Must-Have Pregnancy Items

Posted on November 12, 2013 Written by Tonya

For me, along with a growing belly comes swollen feet and legs, an achy back and bizarre cravings for lemons and baked goods. I know, right? But, that’s about it. I’m lucky and don’t get the nausea, heartburn or hemorrhoids.

When it comes to pregnancy, I don’t know why I have been so blessed to have such an easy go at it, but I could not go through this experience without sharing a few of my favorite pregnancy items.

Sure, a great support system and caring team of doctors is important, as are prenatal vitamins, a healthy, well-balanced diet, equal parts exercise and rest and pretty much a whole new wardrobe are essential, but these are my six must-haves for a successful, more comfortable nine months.

Pin me!

1. Belly cream. My favorite is Bella B Tummy Honey Stretchmark Prevention Butter. It smells delish, feels luxurious and helps prevent stretch marks and itching. LOVE LOVE LOVE!!

2. Proper fitting undergarments. I have grown a full cup size and then some and my go-to bras are Victoria’s Secret’s Body By Victoria, which offers super full coverage, lots of colors to choose from and are available in both under-wire and wireless. Totally worth the price tag.

3. Cheese. Better known as the Babies R Us Pregnancy Wedge Cushion Pillow. If you’re not ready or willing to spend $80+ on a full body pillow, this is the perfect alternative for that extra belly, legs, and hip support you need in order to get a better night’s sleep.

4. My iPhone. I use it to keep track of what my body and baby are doing with awesome apps like Baby Bump and What To Expect: Pregnancy and to pass the time while waiting and waiting and waiting in doctors offices.

5. Compression socks. One yucky side effect I have been experiencing is a lot of pressure in my legs and some minor blood clotting at the end of the day and although they are ugly as sin, Futuro Energizing Ultra Sheer Knee Highs do help.

6. Pampering. Once a month (sometimes more) I get mani/pedis and prenatal massages. Anything that makes me stop and forces me to relax is a very good thing.

What helped you get through your pregnancy?

None of the companies mentioned above endorsed this blog post in any way, I received no free swag for writing this and all opinions expressed are 100% my own, but if Victoria’s Secret picks up on this, I would not turn down a gift card!

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Day 12: Today I am grateful for a good night’s rest. I spent half of last night coughing my lungs out and with a newborn baby on the way, severe sleep deprivation is too and it helps me appreciate the value and luxury of a full eight hours of sleep, glorious sleep. Are you getting enough Zzzzz’s? #30daysofgratitude

In Praise Of The Lovey

Posted on October 21, 2013 Written by Tonya

It’s been camping and to Disney Land, attends preschool every day he does and we wouldn’t dream of taking a vacation without it.

It has been gripped tightly on Ferris wheel rides, throughout Christmas pageants, while trick or treating, scary scenes in movies and lovingly caressed during story time.

The poor thing has been dragged through airports, zoos, parks and tossed up in the air, gotten stuck on walls and in the refrigerator.

It has cleaned up the most unspeakable messes when nothing else was available.

Luckily there are four, all equally loved, but only one original.

Once known as his “ya ya”, Lucas first took to his lovey at just 10 months old. It has been a constant source of love and security ever since and is my hero because it has the ability to comfort him in ways I can’t or haven’t yet learned.

Does your child have a favorite item that they cling to when the going gets tough?

Mommy Time Well Spent

Posted on October 9, 2013 Written by Tonya

Lucas goes to preschool 18 hours a week.

Six hours, three days a week.

Those 18 hours are precious as hell to me but also busy as hell.

If I’m not sitting in a doctor’s office or being seen by a doctor, which eats up a lot more of those 18 hours than I care to report, I am running around like a chicken with it’s head cut off.

I typically have a ‘To Do’ list a mile long consisting of phone calls to make or return, groceries to purchase and dry cleaning to drop off and pick up.

I use those three days to walk the dog, tackle mounds of laundry, attempt meal planning and/or cooking, keep our home in order and if there is any me time left over, I catch up on my shows, blog, get my nails done, shower and wash my hair or enjoy the company of a friend over lunch, but every once in a while, I forgo the busy morning and appointment driven days and take myself to breakfast.

This is what that looks like:

Just me, a pot of green tea and a book. It’s a rare but lovely treat.

Where do you find your bliss?

Linking up with Sarah of The Sunday Spill and Greta of Gfunkified for their #iPPP weekly meme. Photo was taken with my iPhone 4s.

I Write In Books

Posted on October 1, 2013 Written by Tonya

I have shared my love of reading before, how much I adore getting lost in the shelves at bookstores and how I collect books.

My nightstand has been taken over by must reads.

I’m always reading something and this year I have made a [successful] conscious effort to read more. A purist at heart when it comes to books, I can’t believe I’m actually considering adding a Nook or Kindle to my holiday wish list.

I’ve gotten a lot better about passing my good reads on to family and friends, but I can’t seem to let go of my favorites and after I have read something, I hang on to it for far too long because of a habit I have…

As a lover of quotes and words in general and how some authors have a magical ability to string them together, for as long as I can remember I have written in my books.

I underline passages and sentences that speak to me and are relevant to my life and then add them to a document I have on my computer.

My father did the same thing.

In fact, it brought me to tears when my sister, husband and I were cleaning out my parents house and discovered a box full of dogeared pages and post-it notes and lots of of pen marks in books he had read and needed to transfer quotes from to his own document. Like father like daughter, I suppose…

Here are a few of my latest and these are all books that I highly recommend!

Where’d You Go, Bernadette? by Maria Semple

Ten Years Later: Six People Who Faced Adversity and Transformed Their Lives by Hoda Kotb

The Lone Wolf by Jodi Picoult

How To Kill A Rock Star by Tiffanie DeBartolo

Have you read any good books lately?

Have you ever come across a book with passages underlined or notes written in the margins by someone else, like a family member? Did it add to or detract from your reading experience?

If you have an e-reader, which one do you prefer and why?

20 Questions, 22 Months Later – Update

Posted on September 24, 2013 Written by Tonya

I seemed to have forgotten/put off/overlooked a follow up questionnaire to my 20 Questions post from November 2011, which I had wanted to do every year, so here it is, Lucas at 4 years, 3 months.

See if you notice a theme…

1. What is your favorite color? Red

2. What is your favorite toy? Cars movie cars and Planes

3. What is your favorite fruit? Grapes

4. What is your favorite TV show? Paw Patrol

5. What is your favorite thing to eat for lunch? PB&J

6. What is your favorite outfit? My red Cars movie shirt, light brown shorts and red rubbers

7. What is your favorite game? Sorry!

8. What is your favorite snack? Cereal bars

9. What is your favorite animal? Zebras

10. What is your favorite song? 22 by Taylor Swift

11. What is your favorite book? Once Upon A Time…The End

12. Who is your best friend? Wyatt, Jackson, Mommy and Daddy

13. What is your favorite cereal? Fruit Loops

14. What is your favorite thing to do outside? Scooter, skateboard and play soccer

15. What is your favorite drink? Chocolate milk

16. What is your favorite holiday? Christmas

17. What do you like to take to bed with you at night? Lovey

18. What is your favorite thing to eat for breakfast? Cereal

19. What do you want for dinner on your birthday? Breakfast

20. What do you want to be when you grow up? A race car driver

While I’m not thrilled by my decreasing best friend ranking, I loved this exercise and how much Lucas’ tastes have both changed and stayed the same.

Questionnaire originally found on Pinterest.

I Don’t Know How To Play

Posted on September 17, 2013 Written by Tonya

I’m a terrible mother because the three words I loathe the most are: play with me, especially when strung together repeated and delivered in a whinny four year old voice.

I will go round after round and even let him win sometimes at Junior Scrabble, UNO and Connect Four, in fact I love games!

I will ask 20 questions, trying to figure out what he spies with his little blue eyes.

I will search high and low for gel food dye to add to shaving cream to smear all over the shower stall, bend and twist pipe cleaners, clean up glitter and tiny pieces of construction paper and attempt to draw anything he asks me to.

I will create a playlist of his favorite Top 40 hits and have a dance party in our living room.

I will spend hours at Disneyland, California Adventure, Knott’s Berry Farm, Sea World and Legoland with him by my side waiting patiently to go on each and every ride he desires.

I will push him on swings, play hide-and-seek and time him on his scooter as he makes loop after loop around the park.

I will load the car with sand toys, sunscreen and towels in order to to spend the afternoon at the beach building castles, hunting for shells and chasing seagulls.

I will take him to Target knowing full well I’ll be spending most of our trip in the toy aisle agonizing over Cars, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and other items he has, wants or needs.

I will learn all his favorite characters names and let him quiz me on them.

I will carefully pre-measure ingredients for him to add to bowls and let him try using the mixer on low so he can “help” me bake a cake.

I will pack his backpack with his beloved snacks and activities and take him on many trips to visit family in the Bay Area.

I will read him any of the dozens of books we own over and over all day long.

I will take him to the latest kids movie where we share the biggest bag of popcorn they sell.

I will send mothers I don’t know notes asking if their sons would enjoy coming to our home to spend time with my son.

I will make up silly songs, perform puppet shows with no real story lines and do just about anything to make Lucas smile or laugh.

There are tons of things I will do with my son and thoroughly enjoy, but playing with him is not one of them.

Pushing cars around the floor and having “races” is not fun for me.

I don’t know how to be a ninja and I hate holding toys or stuffed animals in my hand making them have conversations with one another.

It’s not that I feel silly or stupid, I’m just not good at pretending. I think maybe I was once… I loved playing with Barbies but not anymore and I feel guilty because I hear “play with me” A LOT!! And too many times my response is, “let’s go to the park!”.

Do you know how to play with your children? Please tell me I’m not alone in my guilt.

I’m That Mom

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