Tonya

Half Way Point – NaBloPoMo

Posted on November 15, 2015 Written by Tonya

Two things.

It’s November 15, which means I have reached the half way point of NaBloPoMo!!

15 days in a row of blog posting. 15 days of writing. I haven’t done that in a very long time.

I’m thrilled and don’t want to lose the momentum, but this is when the blog post a day program for me may go a little sideways.

My husband and I are headed out of town tomorrow for four days, just the two of us.

Scandalous, I know.

Where are we going you ask? New York!

And I am not taking my laptop.

I have a couple of posts scheduled but I may miss a day or two.

I’ll make up up for it. I’m completely committed to publishing for 30 days in a row, a couple of those days may fall into December.

Sorry for the non-post post, but I gotta get back to packing and snuggling my children. This will be the longest I’ve ever been away from them. Sigh.

Paris – NaBloPoMo

Posted on November 13, 2015 Written by Tonya

One minute my six-year-old and I are in the movie theater giggling over The Peanuts and sharing a bucket of popcorn and the next I’m hearing of the devastation in a city I hold near and dear to my heart.

On a night when thousands of Paris residents and tourists were reveling and fans were enjoying a soccer match between France and Germany and an American band performed at a concert venue, horror struck.

Terrorists attacked six locations throughout the French capital and at the stadium where the soccer match was underway.

So far there have been 153 deaths.

I can’t wrap my brain around this tragedy.

Another tragedy.

It’s just too much.

What is happening with our world?

Why is there so much hate? So much evil?

My “problems” don’t even compare to this. They’re not even in the same realm.

My thoughts are with Paris and all I can do is hold my babies extra close tonight.

This is an attack not just on Paris and not just on people of France, but this is an attack on all of humanity and the universal values that we share.
– President Barack Obama

Peace For Paris by Jean Jullien

The Kitchen – NaBloPoMo

Posted on November 13, 2015 Written by Tonya

The first thing in the morning, it’s chilly, quiet, dark and spotless, but before long it comes to life and it gets crazy!

In my house, everything happens in the kitchen. It is the epicenter of the house, the heartbeat of our home.

Designed for preparing and cooking meals, the 4′ x 7′ granite island in the middle of our kitchen is the main focal point, not to mention the most used. Throughout the day, it serves as a dumping ground for mail, permission slips, library books, and receipts; it becomes a workstation, a place to do homework, take spelling tests, practice letters, complete puzzles, wrap presents, pay bills, write, arrange flowers, fold laundry and make arts and crafts.

My kitchen this morning.

With outlets on each side, a waffle maker, mixer, blender, handheld vacuum, phone charger or computer are always plugged in.

Our kitchen is our family’s home base, our favorite place to congregate, surrounded by our children’s artwork, the family calendar and our favorite foods. Most nights the island is our dining table too.

Two little people sit perched in bar stool sized chairs on one side of the island making requests for additional servings, more milk, a cup of yogurt, and umpteen other items, while my husband and I stand on the opposite side stealing bites of food from our own plates as we tag team the requests, shoo the dog away, clean as we go and attempt to connect as a family.

Whether three dozen cookies are cooling, a lasagna is being assembled, book reports are being written, holiday cards are being stuffed into envelopes, or dried paint dots are still visible from the last finger painting session, it’s always a vicious cycle of mess making and mess cleaning. My kitchen is both my favorite and least favorite room in the house.

The kitchen is where we come to laugh, play, learn, experiment, share, create, eat and love.

The kitchen is where we live.

Is your kitchen the heart of your home?

My Culinary Side – NaBloPoMo

Posted on November 12, 2015 Written by Tonya

My relationship with cooking took a long and winding road to get to the stage it is at today.

I never spent anytime in the kitchen growing up. My mother was culinary challenged too. She could bake, but never really taught me anything. I learned my own way around the kitchen through trial and many, many, many errors! I completely ruined a pot burning rice type of error.

I would still eat like I was in college, if it weren’t for my husband and children. Did you know that they want dinner every.single.night? It’s exhausting!

And cooking is hard.

Greek Turkey Burgers with Garlic and Dill Yogurt Sauce

I still have trouble cracking an egg without getting shell in the bowl.

Sigh.

There was a time when I would have said that I didn’t know the first thing about cooking and being in the kitchen was like Chinese torture.

That’s not the case any more.

Basic Quiche – No shells!

I also realized the difference between not liking to cook or not being comfortable with it and not liking to be a bad cook. There is a big difference. And it turns out, it’s much easier than I thought! It’s time consuming and frustrating, but I know how to make rice now.

Beef & Broccoli

My husband and I don’t entertain a part from the occasional playdate or sleepover, for the children’s benefit. My in-laws visit every so often, as does my sister and her boyfriend and I’ll have a girlfriend or two over when my husband travels so I use these opportunities to stretch my culinary skills.

Over the last couple of years, I’ve actually been cooking for my family and they eat what I make.

Most of the time. The children are way pickier than my husband!

Pork Chops with Rosemary Mustard Sauce

We’ve been in our house almost two years and have yet to have a housewarming party of any kind. We need to do that and I’d love to be able to say I prepared all the food served.

Sprinkled throughout this post are some dishes I’ve made this year that haven’t sucked.

My own concoction! Sweet potatoes and kale, a little balsamic vinegar, salt and pepper.

The photos are mine and I found all the recipes on Pinterest. If you click on them, they’ll lead you to the original site.

I’m always looking for a new recipe to tackle and next on my list are crab cakes, humus, egg rolls and cinnamon rolls. Have a recipe to share?

10 Things I Love About Gilmore Girls – NaBloPoMo

Posted on November 11, 2015 Written by Tonya

I started binge-watching Gilmore Girls long before Netflix announced a series revival. I just started season 6 and couldn’t be more in love with Lorelai, Rory, Luke, Taylor, Sokie or the charming town of Stars Hollow, but these are some of my favorite things… so far:

1. Food! I love how Gilmore Girls portrays eating, between the Friday night dinners at Richard and Emily’s, breakfast at Luke’s Diner, takeout from Al’s Pancake World and Sokie’s glorious kitchen, it’s okay to enjoy food.

2. Small towns are both lovely and annoying. Everyone knows everyone. The traditions (civil reenactments, 24-hour dance-a-thon, charity picnic basket lunch auction, bike race though town, etc.) the town of Stars Hollow upholds are sweet and endearing and make me want to live there.

3. Mothers and daughters can be close. No relationship on Gilmore Girls is more important, or more unwavering, than the love between Lorelai and Rory. While men come and go, you can always count on them to talk it out over a vat of coffee. They are always there for one another. Even Lorelai and her own mother, who mostly butt heads find a way, in their own way to be there for one another.

4. Wit is a very attractive characteristic and no one does it better than Lorelai Gilmore. Her innuendos, silly quips and smart ass comments are the best!

5. Jess (Milo Ventimiglia). Sometimes the bad boy isn’t always that bad.

6. All the book love! I can’t help but wonder if 2015 Rory would have a Kindle. For a list of all 339 books referenced, read this.

7. Lorelai and Luke… I adore their will-they-won’t-they relationship. I’m rooting for them but, I fear Lorelai will end up with Chris, Rory’s father, as she should.

8. Carole King’s song used for the theme song, “Where You Lead (I Will Follow)” is perfection and did you know that she sings the song with her own daughter?

9. The plural of cul-de-sac is culs-de-sac. Thank you, Rory.

10. I still have two whole seasons left to watch of a show that ended 8 years ago! Plus the four mini movies. Yay!

Have you enjoyed Gilmore Girls? What would you add to my list?

67 – NaBloPoMo

Posted on November 10, 2015 Written by Tonya

The photographer at my wedding was awful.

I take that back, his photographs were fine, but he ran around like a nut and was completely drenched in sweat while wearing a black shirt. Ew.

Every time I turned around there was the photographer snapping away.

Every time anyone turned around there was the photographer.

To be fair there wasn’t a lot of subject matter or space because my husband and I had a very small wedding, at our home, in the backyard with just 26 guests.

At one point and long before his three hour commitment had expired, we asked him to leave.

And yet he still managed to send two discs with nearly 1000 pictures. At the time I only loved a handful or deemed “frame quality”. And the rest? The rest turned out to be lovely candid shots that I treasure. Especially the ones of my parents. Somehow our photographer was able to capture many of my parents expressions and I am so grateful to have these photos now.

My mother would have been 67 today and this is one of my favorite photos of her from my wedding. That’s my father in the background. Both of them holding cameras. And champagne.

This is how I choose to remember them.

Unposed.

Beautiful.

Happy.

Photo by Rob Fadtke – August 4, 2007

Warts & Body Image – NaBloPoBo

Posted on November 9, 2015 Written by Tonya

My son has warts.

They are located in four of the nail beds of his fingers and other various places on his hands, sprinkled across the bridge of his nose, above his top lip and along one side of his jawbone. In all he has close to 50. You have to know what you’re looking for to even see them. Some are flat and some are raised.

Warts do not harm a child’s health and often go away on their own.

Lucas’s warts aren’t grotesque and they don’t bother him in the least bit. At least they didn’t until this summer when he mentioned something to his dad about having them removed.

This broke my heart.

At his six year wellness check up I spoke to his pediatrician about remedies and she referred us to a pediatric dermatologist.

Doctors remove warts in several different ways:

Immunotherapy treatment, which uses the patient’s own immune system to fight the warts. One type involves injecting candida to the largest 2-3 warts present creating a mild allergic reaction to occur. This reaction may cause the warts to go away. This treatment can take 3-5 visits 3-4 weeks a part before results are seen.
Freezing with liquid nitrogen, a more potent medicine than found in over-the-counter freezing remedies and can be very painful.
Applying a prescription-strength salicylic acid nightly.
Taking a twice daily pill for up to three months.
Laser surgery. A last resort due to scaring.

We have been to the dermatologist four times, opting for the first course of treatment and so far we have seen zero results, in fact, there are possibly more warts than before. Sigh. Warts are known to quickly spread.

I’m frustrated but have tried to be careful not to express it.

Lucas is frustrated. He dislikes the shots, can’t understand what the “big deal” is, despises doctor offices in general and like me, wishes to see results.

One of our appointments was during school hours and although he only missed an hour, he was distraught. I’ve been able to make all other appointments after school hours.

At our last appointment, he completely lost it.

I haven’t seen this boy cry in weeks.

Big huge crocodile tears poured from his eyes uncontrollably from the moment we were escorted to the examination room until we walked across the parking lot and returned to our car to go home.

He struggled with his words and couldn’t articulate himself.

I was beside myself. This is the worst part of parenting, seeing your child in pain and not being able to do a damn thing about but hold him and wipes away his tears.

In this moment, with the doctor and her medical assistant staring at me, searching for answers and Lola carrying on for her Grover doll we had left in the car and wanting my phone and no doubt confused by seeing her big brother in pain, I was reminded how little my boy still is.

He’s only six.

He has no way of knowing at six that someday, if we don’t start treatment now, these warts may be the reason why he won’t hold someone’s hand. I also never want Lucas to experience negative comments and hurtful teasing about the way he looks from classmates and peers. This would crush him.

Even after we were safely in the car and it was just us and he had calmed down a little, he couldn’t talk to me about his feelings. I can only assume it was a culmination of things.

I was also reminded that we haven’t had a single body image discussion with this child. He’s too young. His body is going to grow and change in so many ways over the next 10 years that I just thought we’d wait until some of those changes started to occur before we brought them up. How native. Of course if he asks questions; why do you wear make up, why do you eat salad, why do you pluck your eyebrows, etc. we answer.

My husband and I both exercise regularly and promote physical activity from a health and longevity aspect, but haven’t covered physical appearances with him.

It’s time.

Or maybe not.

Incidentally, we have decided no more injections and no more doctors. We are going to try a nightly cream and hope for the best.

Oh, parenting why must you be so hard?

Do you discuss body image with your child(ren)? Also, if you have dealt with warts, please share any tips you may have!

Bibliophilia: Redux – NaBloPoMo

Posted on November 8, 2015 Written by Tonya

I don’t know if it’s because both my parents were educators, they read to me a lot as a child, I love spending time (not to mention lots of money) in bookstores and libraries, or because my playpen, as the story goes, was in a room surrounded by shelves and shelves of books, but my first word was “book”.

I read to my children everyday. Lola’s current favorites are Curious George and Dancing Feet and Lucas can now read chapter books and has discovered Nate the Great. He is dying to start the Harry Potter series, which believe it or not, I haven’t read!

Sadly, since I’ve had children my leisure reading has been cut in half. I miss it very much. There is nothing better than getting lost in a good book. Historical fiction modern day fiction are suspense novels are my favorite.

Books can transport you to another place and time and introduce you to interesting characters that you don’t normally encounter in your day-to-day life. I enjoy the relaxation of reading, especially when hours have passed and I don’t even realize it because I’m so enthralled in a good book. Sitting quietly with a juicy epic is truly one of life’s greatest pleasures and brings me a lot of peace.

My Personal Book Facts:

I am a founding member of a book club called JUGS (Just Us Girls) that my friend, Nancy and I started almost 12 (!) years ago and I used to live for our monthly meetings. Our discussions were always lively, fun and thought provoking. If it weren’t for our group, there are many books I would have missed. Unfortunately, despite many attempts to revive the group, it hasn’t met since 2010. People just got too busy.
I have a really hard time starting a book without finishing it, no matter how much I may want to throw it into the fireplace (i.e. Saving Graces, a terrible JUGS selection), however, the older I get, the more I realize life is just too short to read crap!
I always start books in bed.
One of my very best friends is in my life today because we initially bonded over books. Thank goodness for Patricia Cornwell and Kay Scarpetta!
Since 1999, I have kept a list of every book I have read maintaining (pre-mommyhood) an average of 35 books per year. Now it’s more like 15. My father also kept a list of the books he read and I often turn to it for recommendations.
My husband gave me a Kindle for Christmas 2014 and the purist in me took six months before I downloaded my first book and several weeks to actually read it, but now I’m head over heels hooked!

Some of my favorites include (in no particular order):
1. The Other Boleyn Girl by Philippa Gregory
2. The Time Traveler’s Wife by Audrey Niffenegger
3. A Tree Grows in Brooklyn by Betty Smith
4. The Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini
5. The Pact: A Love Story by Jodi Picoult
6. The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald
7. The Lovely Bones by Alice Sebold
8. To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee
9. Sarah’s Key by Tatiana de Rosnay
10. Water for Elephants by Sara Gruen
11. Big Little Lies by Liane Moriarty
12. Wild: From Lost to Found on the Pacific Crest Trail by Cheryl Strayed (this book moved me so much I write a blog post about it called Unwavering.
13. The Help by Kathryn Stockett
14. Wonder by R.J. Palacio (the first book I read on my Kindle!)
15. Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn
16. My next book!

Love her or hate her, I believe Oprah Winfrey single-highhandedly got our nation reading again when she established her book club in 1996. All hail the Queen!

As any voracious reader knows, there are so many books out there, it can be hard to choose just what to read next. I’m always in the middle of book, even if ends up taking me a month to read! At the moment I am in between books and this is a place I don’t like to be.

What’s up next on my reading list? Good question. My husband and I are going to New York next week without the children, so I want something juicy and epic for the plane ride there and home. I have a ton of titles on my Goodreads list to read. 979 to be exact and I’m always adding to it, but I want to know recommendations! I’m thinking The Goldfinch. Have you read it?

What are you currently reading?

I wrote a version of this post in October 2009 called Bibliophilia.

My Son – NaBloPoMo

Posted on November 7, 2015 Written by Tonya

My son.

I adore this boy.

He is the best parts of me.

Tender and sweet to his sister.

Thoughtful and generous with his time.

Endearing and sweet and loves doling out hugs.

Inquisitive and interested in the world around him.

He is the worst parts of me.

Obstinate and full of sass.

Impulsive, often speaking before thinking.

At the young age of six, he has already mastered the eye roll of a 15 year old girl.

Easily bored and doesn’t know how to relax.

His badgering is wearing, not to mention exhausting.

He’s learned how to tell white lies and loves to cheat at Chess.

I am beyond grateful for this child and the lessons he has taught and for the mirror he holds up for me to see.

My love for this child has no beginning and no end.

Look at him.

He’s perfect.

My son.

A Walking Contradiction – NaBloPoBo

Posted on November 6, 2015 Written by Tonya

I take a handful of vitamins with a swig of Diet Coke.

I follow up a killer workout with a fast food lunch.

I despise everything Kardashian but will click on a link to see how Kim has “broken the Internet” (again).

I long to be a minimalist but can’t get rid of sentimental mementos I’ve been holding onto for years.

I’m both quiet and shy and loud and outgoing.

I claim to dislike Selena Gomez, Ariana Grande and Demi Lovato and yet somehow know the lyrics to their songs when they are played on the radio.

I am a perfectionist and a procrastinator.

I love apples but can’t stand apple pie or apple sauce.

I have to exercise almost daily but when it comes to dropping and picking my son off at soccer practice, which is only four blocks from our house, I insist on driving.

I want to be noticed and appreciated, yet hate attention.

I’m predictably unpredictable.

I am spiritual but consider myself agnostic.

I support animal rights but I eat meat.

I HATE using the TV as a babysitter, but will be the first to put the children in front of it (as a last resort) if I need a breather! Of course, parenting is full of do as I say, not as I do moments, isn’t it?

Illustrated by @theblacklinebylauren

Life is messy, chaotic and so are people.

Contradiction is part of being human and the only way to avoid being a walking contradiction would be to deny the pieces of myself that don’t fit nicely into designated slots someone else believes they should.

I can’t limit myself that way. And neither can you. Even if one action or practice contradicts another. Being happy on the inside is all that matters.

I say, go on, contradict yourself! There are no limits.

Half Way Point – NaBloPoMo

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