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Reflections On 39 Years

Posted on June 26, 2011 Written by Tonya

It’s my birthday and in my 39 short years on this planet, I have…

1. moved 27 times.
2. owned five cars.
3. ran a 1/2 marathon.
4. sky dived in Tucson, Arizona and scuba dived in Port Elizabeth, South Africa.
5. learned that money can’t buy happiness, but it can make things a little easier.
6. graduated from college.
7. been fired from, laid off and quit three different jobs.
8. learned that everything in moderation is the best way to live.
9. been a bridesmaid four times and a bride twice.
10. attended approximately 39 concerts (15 of which were Dave Matthews shows).
11. learned that change is unavoidable.
12. been on a road trip (15+ hours round trip) by myself.
13. broken my collar bone.
14. been in five car accidents (three of which were my fault).
15. gotten three tattoos (and want at least one more).
16. walked 180 miles in three 3-Day Walks for breast cancer research.
17. thrown a surprise party.
18. climbed the pyramids, hiked into the Grand Canyon, kissed at the top of the Eiffel Tower and walked across the Golden Gate Bridge.
19. realized that family, no matter how often you see one another is important.
20. learned that you can get grey hair and acne at the same time. Unfair and annoying, but true.
21. won a sewing contest in the third grade, the leading role in a school play when I was a Senior in high school, a customer service award once I started working and two giveaways from blogs I read.
22. never had to be bailed out of jail.
23. learned that home is where the heart is.
24. swam with dolphins in Mexico and zip-lined in Costa Rica.
25. been the first one to apologize and the first one to walk away.
26. learned that music really can save your mortal soul.
27. discovered that asking for help is not a weakness, but a strength.
28. called 911 twice (not for Lucas, thank goodness!)
29. collected more books than I’ll ever be able to read.
30. watched every single episode of Sex & the City, Alias and Grey’s Anatomy.
31. attended the Grammy’s and Emmy’s.
32. learned that a vast majority of people can be worn over with a smile and a little kindness.
33. been blessed with the best friends a girl could ask for.
34. only wanted the very best for my sister, Leah.
35. never missed my parents more than I do today, except maybe tomorrow.
36. had more perfect moments than one person should be allowed.
37. made a baby with a man I admire, love and respect.
38. never tired of hearing “Mommy”.
39. a lot more living to do and tons more to learn.

Here’s looking forward to the next 39 years!
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Vision Board

Posted on June 10, 2011 Written by Tonya

You know from my vlog, My Three Favorite Magazines that I am a magazine junkie.

In the past, I have subscribed to just about everything on the newsstand and nowadays I collect my magazines from a variety of places (I’ll never reveal my sources!). I devour them from cover to cover, save articles that I want to re-read, share with others or might need some day. My might need someday pile is ridiculous!

Ever since I was in high school, I have used magazines to make collages. I would painstakingly remove the ring from my notebooks and cover the covers in photos I liked (think Guess ads and cute and furry puppies) and then used contact paper to protect them and then put the rings back on. It was quite the process, but it was a lot of fun for me. I covered notebooks for all my friends. And, of course, I saved my favorites:As a teenager the walls of my bedroom were always plastered in Tiger Beat pull out posters and advertisements from magazines. This was my room circa 1990:Surprisingly, the one thing I never made was a vision board.

What’s a vision board you ask?

A vision board is typically a poster-size board on which you paste or collage images that you’ve cut out of magazines. Right up my alley…

The idea behind a vision board is that when you surround yourself with images of who you want to become, what you want to have, where you want to live, or where you want to vacation and your life changes to match those images and those desires. Worth a shot, right?

In my women’s group this week, we all sat around a table covered with glue sticks, scissors and heaps of magazines and let our subconscious minds take over.

Here’s what I ended up with:

I still have some blank space but there are lots of inspiring words (calm, breathe, dream), peaceful images (hammock on the beach, cocktails poolside), photos of places I’d like to visit (Greece) or return to someday (Paris and New York) and people I hope to meet (Dave Matthews). What?! It could happen. All of it!

I’ll keep you updated on the progress and hope you’ll consider making one for yourself. Or if you have already created a vision board, maybe it’s time to update it?

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I Am A Real Housewife Of Orange County

Posted on May 4, 2011 Written by Tonya

I live in Orange County so I come in contact with the type of women on the television show, The Real Housewives of Orange County on almost a daily basis. It’s usually when they are perched behind the wheel of their fresh off the assembly line Mercedes Benz.

These women are wealthy beyond belief, flashy, live in excess, completely phony, constantly in search of companionship and are terrible drivers!,span>

10 reasons why I could not be a real housewife from any county:

1. I don’t believe in plastic surgery. I’ve earned the wrinkles around my eyes, thankyouverymuch. Oh, and while we’re on the subject of plastic surgery, they’re real and they’re spectacular.

2. I can’t walk in stilettos to save my life. If I could, they’d probably lead me to a horrific death down a flight of stairs.

3. I don’t know any rock stars or pro baseball players, nor do I particularly care to. Okay, well, maybe I’d like to meet Dave Matthews …swoon…

4. I’m not a fake blond with god-awful roots. With all that money, you’d think they’d be able to keep those covered up.

5. I don’t have a designer handbag for every day of the week.

6. I truly enjoy shopping at Target.

7. I fly coach and usually accompanied by a toddler on my lap. Good times.

8. My SVU is really a glorified car. And it’s a hybrid because I care about the environment not just because it’s trendy.

9. I have a farmer’s tan instead of a golden brown hue evenly covering my entire body.

10. I don’t decorate my child. Lucas has never had hair products in his hair nor does he wear designer clothes. My husband would shoot me first!

Come to think of it, these are probably all the reasons why I’ll never be friends with Gwyneth Paltrow either. At least I’m not not the only one!

Sigh.

I live in Orange County and I’m a housewife, so I hues that makes me a *real* housewife of Orange County. BUT, I’m the flip flop and yoga pants wearing, rolling around in the park with my son, play date scheduling, three days of unwashed hair-type instead of the television variety.

This post was written for Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop, Prompt 5.) 10 reasons why you could not be a real housewife from any county.

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In These Small Moments

Posted on April 17, 2011 Written by Tonya

I love Nichole.

We have bonded over many things, most notably our mutual adoration for Dave Matthews. **swoon**

I love Nichole’s blog, In These Small Moments. Her writing is strong, effortless and breathtaking. I can’t wait to meet the woman behind these beautiful words at BlogHer in August.

I look forward to Nichole’s Small Moments Mondays feature each week and I’m honored that this week, she is featuring me!

Please stop by and say hello as I share a very big small moment in my life: the moment we found out we were pregnant with our son, Lucas.
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In The Mood For A Little Dave Matthews

Posted on April 8, 2011 Written by Tonya

Today, I don’t feel like writing, I feel like dancing!

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Project Smile – March

Posted on April 1, 2011 Written by Tonya

Enjoy present pleasures in such a way as to not injure future ones. – Seneca

As usual, March was a topsy turvy month of highs and lows, but I’m grateful for each and every day and love to stop and think about the simple pleasures that bring me joy.

Here’s what had me smiling in March:

1st – I decided that I would like to be paid to write so I submitted a proposal to a couple of online news magazines. After several follow-ups, I have yet to hear anything, but it was a first step and I’m hopeful that something will come my way soon… Stay tuned!
2nd – Lunch with an old friend and an old haunt I used to frequent when I was a working woman.
3rd – Soup Plantation’s grilled cheese bread dippers and creamy tomato soup and sharing them with someone who appreciates them just as much as I do. 🙂
4th – A girl’s night out and discovering jalapeno cucumber margaritas. Yummy!!
5th – A baby shower. There’s nothing like welcoming a new life with pretty little things.
6th – Crayons, Play-Doh, paint, trains, books, bubbles ANYTHING to keep the little guy busy and entertained.
7th – My sister turned 27!
8th – Sitter days…. ah.
9th – Getting in the car and turning on the radio to Dave Matthews. Twice!!
10th – Good news, bad news and more confusion… sometimes it’s what makes the world go round.
11th – Discovering a new kid friendly pizza place.
12th – Five loads of laundry DONE… until the next time.
13th – A visit to LA to celebrate aunt Leah’s birthday.
14th – A very productive day of phone calls, appointment setting and follow ups.
15th – Making it through a lunch without divulging a surprise.
16th – Lucas pushed the kid-sized shopping cart at the super market today and although he nearly plowed over three people and almost knocked over an entire display of potatoes, he loved every minute.
17th – March Madness + friends + cocktails + Blackjack = Winning and 24 hours in Vegas!
18th – 10:00 AM massage appointment.
19th – I attended my first blogging conference, Bloggy Boot Camp. To read all about it, click here.
20th – Being at the finish line waiting for my sister after she ran the LA Marathon.
21st – Exhaustion. Glad that the weekend is OVER and ready to resume the regularly scheduled program.
22nd – Closet cleaning, a nice long walk and sushi.
23rd – A fun day at the petting zoo.
24th – UofA vs. Duke and low and behold, UofA won!!
25th – Housekeeper day. I love me the smell of Pine-sol and Windex.
26th – Date night.
27th – A couple of toddler free hours at the nail salon.
28th – An abrupt ending to music class, which left no one smiling followed by a three hour nap, which was MUCH appreciated.
29th – An overnight visit from Grandpa.
30th – First day of Tootsie Roll class and a visit with friends in town from Idaho.
31st – A shopping trip for me and beautiful 80 degree weather. I believe Spring is in the air!

To see why I was smiling in February, click here and to link up with your own month of simple pleasures, visit Kristi of Live and Love out Loud.

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Pure Bliss

Posted on March 9, 2011 Written by Tonya

I’m coming waltzing back and moving into your head – Dave Matthews

I have almost 6500 songs on my iPod. That’s 17 days of music!

For as long as I can remember I have sang along to the radio and when I was a little girl, into my brush handle in front of the mirror in my bedroom.

In elementary and high school I participated in choir.

I’ve always had the largest music collection of all my friends and I still own vinyl and cassette tapes.

I love music and have a very eclectic taste. I’ll listen to just about anything.

Music has always been a very big part of my life and the soundtrack of so many of my memories.

I have feel good songs to help lift me up when I’m feeling down:

Dirt Off Your Shoulder by Jay-Z

She Moves In Her Own Way by The Kooks

I have melancholy songs to make me sad when I need a good cry:

Pictures Of You by The Cure

You Will Make It by Jem

Fallen by Sarah McLachlan

I have songs to pump me up when I need a little extra burst of energy at the gym:

Rump Shaker by Wreckx-N-Effect

Starry Eyed Surprise – Paul Oakenfeld

I created a special play list called Wine & Conversation that we typically play when entertaining. It is comprised of tunes by artists such as: Harry Connick, Jr., Patsy Cline, Ella Fitzgerald, Bob Marley, Blue October, Sade, Feist and Jason Mraz and it helps me relax, unwind and always puts an easy smile upon my face.

I have songs that remind me of important events in my life:

Fade Into You by Mazzy Starr was playing when I got into my first car accident.

Drive by The Cars was playing the first time I slow danced with a boy.

Unforgettable by Natalie Cole was the song my father and I danced to at my wedding.

I have songs that remind me of important people in my life:

Just Like Heaven by The Cure takes me back to my college days and dancing with my roommate, Erin at frat parties and then a little later in life when we became struggling to make ends meet career women.

The moment I hear Melt With You by Modern English I instantly think of my best friend, Colleen and how much she loves this song. I swear she pees a little every time she hears it, it makes her that happy.

My father loved Everybody Wants To Rule The World by Tears For Fears and now I do too. I can always picture him swaying his hips and closing his eyes as he tried to sing along.

To pick just ONE song with significance would be down right impossible, however, there is just one song that I have played more than any other, one song’s lyrics that I carry around with me in my wallet because along with the music, this song to me is pure bliss.

Almost seven minutes long, the music starts off slow, speeds up, then slows again and doesn’t let go of me until the very last note. Acoustic guitar, bass, sax, violin, trumpet and drums all working together in perfect harmony.

The accompanying voice is powerful, sexy and strong and the lyrics, bittersweet.

Experiencing this song live is one of the most magical events of my life and I have been fortunate to witness it several times.

The song I’m referring to is #41 by the Dave Matthews Band.

This post was written for Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop Prompt 5) A song with significance.

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The Calm Before The Storm

Posted on February 16, 2011 Written by Tonya

Two weeks after my parents died in October 2007, after the dust had settled bit, the shock wore off some and the memorial service had been held, I returned to my job as a marketing manager for a trade publication.

It was what I had to do.

I needed to escape the sadness of my family, my home and the pressure of handling my parents estate. I wanted to use my brain on something I knew I was good at and be somewhere where I didn’t have to think about death or deal with my grief. I thought that getting back to my “regular” routine would help.

I was on auto pilot.

Almost a year later, in August 2008, I decided I needed to step away from my job and decompress from the roller coaster ride of emotions and tasks that I had at hand and just be with myself and my thoughts.

There was still a lot of work to be done; an estate to close and several trips to the house my sister I had inherited in Arizona. I also wanted to reconnect with family and start thinking about starting one of my own.

My husband, Todd was very supportive of my decision but I remember the day I gave my one month notice he said, your last day there, is going to be your last day there and the very next day, we are going to go on a trip. He was planning to take a week off work so we could do this, so we began plotting our adventure.

We could go anywhere!

We have both been all over the world… Europe, Africa, Asia. But this time, we decided to stay closer to home and planned a very different type of trip for us, a vacation that ended up being one of the best ones we have ever had together.

It was a road trip comprised of 1200 miles and three states.

We woke up when we woke up and got on the road that Saturday morning and drove; we had hotel reservations, but no agenda, no time line, just a navigation system.

First, we went to Las Vegas, the perfect place to get away from it all, let our hair down and have fun. We stayed at the beautiful Palazzo hotel, sipped cocktails as we lounged by the magnificent pool, saw LOVE, the Cirque du Soleil show and had a great time gambling, eating and drinking too much.Next, we headed to the Grand Canyon, a place even with all of my ties to Arizona, neither of us had ever seen before. It’s breathtaking and should be on everyone’s “Bucket List”.

We saw the Hoover Dam, ate at fun, eclectic diners along the route, visited the boarding school where I graduated from high school, on a whim, spent a night in beautiful, mystic Sedona and stayed a night with my sister in Phoenix.We ended up seeing more of our own state by ending our trip in Palm Springs, where the only thing we had to do was show up for a massage appointment.We covered a lot of miles, but we broke it up so that it wasn’t boring or monotonous and we talked. A lot. We talked about how different our lives were going to be with me not working anymore and what I hoped to accomplish with my time off.

We relished the sights and sounds of the highway and listened to a couple of books on tape and a ton of Dave Matthews. We played Rumi Cube in dive bars in the middle of the day and simply enjoyed being together.

That trip? It was sort of the calm before the storm and I mean that in the nicest of ways. I loved every minute of it.

A month after we returned home, we found out we were pregnant with Lucas. 🙂

This post is for Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop: Prompt 1.) A vacation to remember.

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Reflections On 39 Years

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