Letters For Lucas

Wonders, Mishaps, Blunders and Joy.. commentary on my life as a mom in the form of letters to my son

  • Home
    • My Guest Posts
  • Letters For You

Dear Mama

Posted on September 13, 2011 Written by Tonya

I am so humbled by the generous response to my new weekly feature, Letters For You that debuted last week and very grateful to Poppy of Funny or Snot for helping me kick off the series.

If you missed her heart wrenching letter to the lifeguard she credits to saving her daughter’s life, you can find it here.

This week, I am pleased to welcome Natalie of My Crazy Busy Life. Natalie helped her grandmother celebrate her 75th year recently and here is the birthday letter she gave her.

When Tonya asked me to contribute a letter for her new weekly series, I knew exactly what to send. While I had a close relationship with my grandparents, my paternal grandparents were the ones who actually raised me.

Last month, my grandmother celebrated her 75th birthday. I helped throw her a surprise party. We mailed invitations, ordered a cake and created a slideshow that celebrated her life. But what’s a party without presents? And more importantly, what do you buy someone who truly has it all? I followed the advice I’ve told my kids MANY times: I used my words. The following is a letter I wrote for her birthday.

Dear Mama,

One thing I’ve learned from you over the years is that our time here is limited. We never know how many days we will have or what our tomorrow may bring. So, as you celebrate your 75th year of being alive, I think it’s fitting to share with you a few of my thoughts. After all, there’s no better time like the present.

Children growing up often take their lives for granted. Children who are loved and nurtured naturally assume that there will be food on the table, a warm bed to sleep in and a lap for snuggles. That is, children make these blind assumptions IF their families are raising them in the way God intended.

I simply want to say thank you.

Thank you for giving me a home where I can be blissfully unaware of the outside world. For allowing me to assume that I will always have three square meals, a bed to sleep in and a hug when I needed it.

Thank you for caring for me all of the times I was sick and the countless bowls of chicken noodle soup you made on the nights I couldn’t sleep; for giving me a lap to be rocked in and arms that hugged even as I grew too big to crawl into that lap; you never turned me away. You simply adjusted in your chair to make room.

Thank you for telling me stories of not only your childhood, but the ones from my fathers, aunts and the rest of the family. Because of that, I’m blessed to know my history and where we come from. You shared the funny memories as well as the sad. I heard the struggles you faced not only as a wife and mother, but also as a woman. The strength I receive from that and from you is second to none.

Thank you for showing unconditional love AND setting rules and boundaries. I always knew you cared, but also when my behavior disappointed you. Because of how much you loved me, I never wanted to cause the disappointment. I came to strive to do my best because I wanted to make you proud.

The day came that I did disappoint you, but my deepest appreciation stems from one of our most difficult times.

Thank you for supporting me when I was pregnant at only 16. I truly do not know how it would have been possible without you. Having a baby in high school was certainly not a life I had planned, but it became a decision I have never regretted.

Thank you for supporting me in the beginning of the most important role of my love–being a mother.

As I watch my babies grow into kids and then ultimately young adults, I can truly appreciate all of the love I was shown when I was nothing but a kid myself. Not only do I understand the love, but the also the pain and disappointment. I am more sorry than you know for the hurt I caused; I was simply trying to do as you taught me; I wanted to find my own way as my own person.

Thank you for staying in your marriage for 55 years. The two of you have given our family a touchstone as pillars of strength. You taught me through your example that all relationships require work and that vows are promises meant to be kept. There will be bad times, but then we can truly enjoy the good ones. Because without thunderstorms, we wouldn’t have rainbows.

One of my favorite quotes is:

Two great things we can give our children: One is roots, the other is wings. – Hodding Carter 

Thank you for teaching me the importance of the first and then giving me the courage to use the second.

With all of my love,

Natalie
xoxoxox

Related Posts:

  • Cara Nonna
  • Better Luck Next Time
  • I Know You’re Proud

Filed Under: gifts, grandparents, guest post, Letters For You, milestones, quotes Tagged With: 75th birthday, gifts, grandparents, guest post, Letters For You, milestones, My Crazy Busy Life, quotes, ways to say thank you

Someone’s Special Someone

Posted on September 10, 2011 Written by Tonya

I have written about 9/11 twice: Ten Years Later and We Will Never Forget.

It’s hard for me to believe that it has been 10 years since one of the saddest days in America’s history; a day that still boggles my mind. 

The powerful and heart wrenching images that played over and over and over that fateful day and every September 11 since are etched in my memory and I know I am not alone.

Today, all I can think of are the 2,974 innocent lives that were lost on September 11, 2001. And all of the lives those lives touched. Each and every one of those people was someone’s special someone…. fathers, mothers, sisters brothers, sons, daughters, aunts, uncles, cousins, nieces, nephews, co-workers, neighbors, mentors, friends and heroes. 

They had faces, names, dreams, and lives worth living.

They are missed.

I believe that 9/11 should be a day of remembrance, not regret or political agendas. Life is short and can be irrevocably altered in the blink of an eye. If nothing else, hold your loved ones a little closer and longer today than usual and remember those no longer with us.


Related Posts:

  • My Candidate
  • Things I Wish We Could Talk About
  • Happily Ever After

Filed Under: current events, family, grief, loss, milestones Tagged With: current events, family, grief, milestones

Juxtaposition

Posted on September 7, 2011 Written by Tonya

I was tweeting with @mommyofamonster and @projectalicia today about our young children starting preschool and older children going back to school and mommy time and our kids in general and how fast they grow up and then I read Four Plus An Angel’s beautiful post, As You Begin School and as the day wore on I started to feel melancholy and uncertain and really missing my son. 

Melancholy because noon could not come soon enough. Three hours a part was three hours too many today. I relished my “me time” and although I was able to get a lot accomplished without Lucas in tow, my thoughts and heart were with him.

Uncertain because Lucas is only two years old and on Day 14 of preschool and I feel as though his father and I keep reminding ourselves why he is there; it’s good for him socially and his vocabulary and retention are vast.

So far, he’s doing great! Drop offs and goodbyes are getting easier (on both of us) and the art projects he proudly hands me at the end of his school day adorn our refrigerator with love. 

Part of me is over the moon excited for him to expand his horizons and grow and learn, while the other part is completely torn up inside and worried that I’m losing my baby too soon.

It’s bittersweet, but I know the latter is inevitable.

Backpack as big as he is in one hand and a lovey in the other.

Could this kid be any cuter?

At Lucas' school, they help potty train. How awesome is that?!

These are special days and fleeting and let’s face it, there are only so many firsts we all have.

I hope your babies children have a great semester!

This post was written for Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop, 3.) First day of school pictures…let’s have ’em!


Related Posts:

  • Back To School
  • Kindergarten Is Big Time
  • Last Day Of Preschool

Filed Under: mama kat's writer's workshop, me time, milestones, photos, school, twitter Tagged With: mama kat's writer's workshop, me time, milestones, photos, school

The Summer That Was

Posted on September 1, 2011 Written by Tonya

If Memorial Day marks the beginning of summer, Labor Day marks the end.

Sigh…

Here are our summer highlights:

We celebrated someone turning two with a bounce house party and someone else (gulp) turning 39 on a Duffy boat. Both parties included cupcakes!

There were toes in the sand, afternoons spent in wet bathing suits and sun screen applied almost daily.

There were trips to the park, sweet treats devoured and rainbows found while sailing on the ocean.

We had fun at the circus, on the water pad at Legoland and met idols at Disneyland.

There was a girls’ weekend in Palm Springs, a blog conference in San Diego and a glorious week in Hawaii.

Lucas started school and we have already proudly covered our refrigerator with adorable art work.

There was a visit to Grandma and Grandpa’s house and a mini roller coaster ride with fearless cousins.

It was a great summer, full of milestones and memories.

Photobucket
Wishing everyone a happy and safe Labor Day weekend!

Related Posts:

  • It Was Perfect
  • Special
  • This Time It’s Personal

Filed Under: birthdays, blog conference, disneyland, friends, holidays, memories, milestones, outing, photos, play, school, summer, travel Tagged With: birthdays, blog conference, disneyland, friends, holidays, memories, milestones, outing, photos, play, school, summer, travel

Two Years Old

Posted on August 27, 2011 Written by Tonya

Letters For Lucas is two years old today!

I can’t believe I’ve been at this for two years.

There have been two redesigns, 682 posts, 12 guest posts, two blog conferences, many communities joined, countless photos shared, lots of self promoting tweets, tons of supportive retweets and some of the greatest friends made.

Over the past two years, I’m proud of how my voice has shone through in my writing and my writing has helped me explore my emotions regarding being a mother, sister, parentless parent and softie at heart.

I love my little space on the Internet. I love my readers and all the connections I have made through blogging, but the real reason I do this, aside from maintaining my sanity, is this precious little boy:

Photobucket

Photobucket

Photobucket

Photobucket

Photobucket

Lucas is the inspiration for every single post I write and I hope someday he enjoys reading Letters For Lucas as much as I enjoy writing it. I hope my words give him greater insight to all of his mother’s complexities and offer us hours of conversation.Here’s to another two years and beyond!

A very special thank you to Morgan for these lovely photos of Lucas. She captured him to a tee; all of his sweet, mischievous, wonderful, curious, M&M and dirt loving magic. Thank you!

Related Posts:

  • This Time It’s Personal
  • Letters For Lucas
  • The Wedding

Filed Under: blog, blogoversary, friends, happy thoughts, inspiration, internet, love, milestones, photos, twitter, wordful wendesdays, writing Tagged With: blog, blogoversary, friends, happy thoughts, internet, love, milestones, photos, twitter, wordful wednesdays, writing

My Wedding Day

Posted on August 19, 2011 Written by Tonya

I started participating in Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop over a year ago. My first entry was a post called Second Chances, in which I wrote about my wedding day.

I loved everything about that day at the time.

Now my memories are bittersweet because the day after my wedding was the last day I saw my parents alive.

Always up for a celebration, my parents thoroughly enjoyed my wedding day and were happy to see me happy. It was a day full of toasts and laughter, hugs and tears of joy. There was good conversation and sunshine. Todd and I were surrounded by all the people we love most in the world.

Photobucket
Given there were only 27 guests in attendance and we got married at our home, the photographer we hired was a sweaty annoying mess, darting from here to there desperate for subject matter.

I suppose I can’t really blame him and in fact, today I’m grateful to him for capturing so many beautiful shots of my mom and dad.

Photobucket
Candid, non-posed shots that I will treasure always.

And then there are these:

Photobucket
Linking up with Natalie’s Down the Aisle.

Even though she only asked for our favorite photo – singular, I hope you understand why I couldn’t pick just one.

Related Posts:

  • The Summer Of ’69
  • Happily Ever After
  • 10 Years Ago

Filed Under: blog hop, KRA, mama kat's writer's workshop, milestones, MSA, photos, TBW, wedding Tagged With: blog hop, KRA, mama kat's writer's workshop, milestones, MSA, photos, TBW, wedding

A Tot In Tow

Posted on July 26, 2011 Written by Tonya

Lucas’ first time on an airplane was August 14, 2009. He was just nine weeks old.

Lucas’ First Flight! SAN —> SJC en route to Monterrey.

Thank goodness my mother-in-law was with me to help out because Lucas had a blow out of the yucky disgusting nature (his one of only four EVER) mid-flight and I was stuck in the bathroom with him and left his diaper bag with a clean change of clothes back at my seat. Such a rookie move!

Even so, Lucas was A LOT easier to travel with back then (he used to sleep the entire flight) than he is now.

Since that first flight, I have flown solo to the Bay Area (an hour, 20 gate-to-gate) with Lucas a dozen times to visit my in-laws and Todd and I have taken him to Europe and Australia. At this point, I consider myself an expert at traveling with a tot in tow.

Now, having said that, as we are getting ready for our summer vacation, a week in Hawaii (!!), the thing I’m most stressed about is the flight there and back. 

Five hours in a confined space makes me crazy enough, but add an energetic toddler to the mix and it could be a nightmare.

I am not claiming to be an expert on any of this, but here’s what usually works for us: 

  • Book your flight for first thing in the morning, when children are usually at their best or around nap or bedtime, in hopes that they will sleep.
  • Before you even get to the airport, explain where you’re going and how you’re going to get there. Airports and airplanes can be scary for small children; there are lots of people scurrying about, long lines, loud noises, etc. 
  • Let your child be a part of the packing process. Allow them to pick out a couple of favorite items to bring on the plane in addition to having something stowed away in the suitcase to “meet” them at your destination.
  • Once at the airport, spend a lot of time walking around. You want to tire your child out and burn off some of that extra energy so they can sit still for some of the flight.   
  • Load up your iPhone, iPod, iPad or other favorite electronic device with photos and videos of your child. Lucas loves seeing footage of himself. Just don’t forget to completely charge your device! Many airports have outlets at the gate, so plug in before you board.
  • Download your child’s favorite television show to enjoy mid-flight. Most episodes of Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, Chuggington and Sesame Street are $1.99 – $2.99 each.
  • Download tried and true toddler-friendly apps, such as: Talking Tom Cat and Toddler Puzzle Shapes, which are both free and ABC Train and Voice Cards, which range from $.99 – $1.99 each.
  • Be sure to bring your child’s favorite snacks and lots of them. You never know if you might get stuck on the tarmac waiting for a gate or have an unexpected delay before even taking off.
  • Buy some inexpensive books and toys to introduce to your child during the flight but not all at once, spread them out and don’t forget to hold on to a couple of new items for the plane ride home. It’s very important that these are items your child hasn’t seen before. The Target dollar bins are great for this! Avoid anything that makes noise so as not to disrupt fellow passengers or items that are round, as they may roll down the aisles. I don’t like crayons or markers for this reason.
  • Make sure to pack an extra change of clothes, not only for your tot, but you too! At the very least, a clean t-shirt. Kids get messy, drinks spill and inevitably it all ends up on mom.   
  • It should go without saying, but carry extra diapers. Just before we got on the plane heading to Florence, I forgot to calculate our layover time in Paris and while I know European babies wear diapers too, I panicked fearing we wouldn’t have enough or be able to find them, so we scoured LAX looking for a small package. $20 (for 10!) later we were covered.  
  • Airports and airplanes are crawling with germs, so carry Wet-Ones and hand sanitizer and use them frequently while traveling. I wipe down the arm rests, the tray table and hands all through our trip.
  • And speaking of germs and other yucky stuff, pack a couple of zip-lock bags for soiled clothing in case your child throws up. No one wants to smell that! 
  • In my experience, the ground crew, TSA and flight attendants have always been very helpful. If you need help, just ask! Fellow passengers are typically sympathetic to your situation too, especially if you are traveling with your child alone and will help out if you need them too. 
  • If a flight attendant doesn’t offer, be sure to ask for a set of wings and if it’s your child’s first flight, most airlines have keepsake certificates.
  • If all of the above fails, go through the SkyMall catalog page by page together and look for pictures of cats and dogs. Trust me on this. And please remember, you aren’t ever going to see the people on your flight again, so whatever happens, happens. At least you did it!

I hope these tips help you prepare for your next flight with your child, and if you have any advice to share, let me know!

This is a post that I have been thinking about for a while and just hadn’t gotten around to writing, so a big thank you to Jessica of My Time As Mom for sending @camgosha of Bibs & Baubles my way on Twitter the other night seeking advice on traveling with children. I hope you had a great trip. 

 post signature

Related Posts:

  • How I Beat The Post-Holiday Blues
  • The Summer Of ’69
  • Let’s Here It For June!

Filed Under: grandparents, list, milestones, photos, travel Tagged With: advice, grandparents, list, milestones, photos, travel

Project Smile – June

Posted on June 30, 2011 Written by Tonya

Proof that my June was magical.

While celebrating Lucas’ second birthday, my 39th and Father’s Day, welcoming three cichlids into our family and breaking in a new pair of sneakers, enjoying a fun overnight in Palm Springs with my girlfriends, I was gently reminded by my sweet son on a walk around our neighborhood how important it is to stop and smell the roses every once in a while.

I’m also proud to share that we got Lucas completely off of bottles in June. 

It was a great month! 

To see what had me smiling in May, click here and to link up and share your own month of joy, please visit Kristi of Live and Love out Loud.

post signature

Related Posts:

  • No Related Posts

Filed Under: birthdays, me time, memories, milestones, photos, project smile

A Preschooler?!

Posted on June 28, 2011 Written by Tonya

I no longer have a toddler. 

At two years old, Lucas is considered a preschooler. According to Gerber that is; who identify a preschooler as:

  • Runs well without falling
  • Chews more skillfully and efficiently
  • Mastering the use of spoon and fork
  • Sits in booster seat or child seat at family meals 

Check, check, check and check. 

But a preschooler? I can’t get my head wrapped around it yet, even though in just one short month, Lucas will be attending preschool three morning a week.

I am so excited for him! I truly cannot wait for him to learn more than I feel I could ever teach him; wonderful and amazing things, beyond basic manners, nursery rhymes, numbers, colors, shapes and the alphabet. I’m excited for him to increase his social skills and come home and tell his dad and I all about his day. There is no doubt in my mind that he is going to love school.

    But a preschooler! How did that happen? 

    I suppose it was inevitable. Lucas is in a “big boy” bed, off bottles (FINALLY!), can carry on a complete and coherent conversation, has a great sense of humor and is becoming more terrific than terrible (most days). Plus, he’s curious about everything and loves learning. School is next natural stage. 
     
    When asked if he’s a baby, Lucas will be the first one to tell you, “no, big boy”. But, if it’s all the same to him, he will always be my baby.

    post signature

    

    Related Posts:

    • No Related Posts

    Filed Under: milestones, school

    Reflections On 39 Years

    Posted on June 26, 2011 Written by Tonya

    It’s my birthday and in my 39 short years on this planet, I have…

    1. moved 27 times.
    2. owned five cars.
    3. ran a 1/2 marathon.
    4. sky dived in Tucson, Arizona and scuba dived in Port Elizabeth, South Africa.
    5. learned that money can’t buy happiness, but it can make things a little easier.
    6. graduated from college.
    7. been fired from, laid off and quit three different jobs.
    8. learned that everything in moderation is the best way to live.
    9. been a bridesmaid four times and a bride twice.
    10. attended approximately 39 concerts (15 of which were Dave Matthews shows).
    11. learned that change is unavoidable.
    12. been on a road trip (15+ hours round trip) by myself.
    13. broken my collar bone.
    14. been in five car accidents (three of which were my fault).
    15. gotten three tattoos (and want at least one more).
    16. walked 180 miles in three 3-Day Walks for breast cancer research.
    17. thrown a surprise party.
    18. climbed the pyramids, hiked into the Grand Canyon, kissed at the top of the Eiffel Tower and walked across the Golden Gate Bridge.
    19. realized that family, no matter how often you see one another is important. 
    20. learned that you can get grey hair and acne at the same time. Unfair and annoying, but true. 
    21. won a sewing contest in the third grade, the leading role in a school play when I was a Senior in high school, a customer service award once I started working and two giveaways from blogs I read.
    22. never had to be bailed out of jail.
    23. learned that home is where the heart is.
    24. swam with dolphins in Mexico and zip-lined in Costa Rica.
    25. been the first one to apologize and the first one to walk away.  
    26. learned that music really can save your mortal soul.
    27. discovered that asking for help is not a weakness, but a strength.
    28. called 911 twice (not for Lucas, thank goodness!)
    29. collected more books than I’ll ever be able to read.
    30. watched every single episode of Sex & the City, Alias and Grey’s Anatomy.
    31. attended the Grammy’s and Emmy’s.
    32. learned that a vast majority of people can be worn over with a smile and a little kindness. 
    33. been blessed with the best friends a girl could ask for.
    34. only wanted the very best for my sister, Leah.
    35. never missed my parents more than I do today, except maybe tomorrow.
    36. had more perfect moments than one person should be allowed.
    37. made a baby with a man I admire, love and respect.
    38. never tired of hearing “Mommy”. 
    39. a lot more living to do and tons more to learn.

    Here’s looking forward to the next 39 years!
    post signature

    Related Posts:

    • A New Year
    • The Wedding
    • 10 Things To Smile About

    Filed Under: 3-day, aunt leah, DMB, love, milestones, travel Tagged With: 3-day, aunt leah, DMB, love, milestones, travel

    • « Previous Page
    • 1
    • …
    • 5
    • 6
    • 7
    • 8
    • 9
    • …
    • 17
    • Next Page »

    Subscribe TwitterFacebook Email

    Enter your email address:

    Delivered by FeedBurner

    My Parents

    Photobucket

    I was a Listen To Your Mother Cast Member! Click on image to view my reading:

    I was a Listen To Your Mother Cast Member! Click on image to view my reading:

    Proud to have my writing featured here:

    Proud to have my writing featured here:
    Blog Archive

    What I’m Pinning

    Letters For Lucas
    BlogWithIntegrity.com

    What I Write About

    a mother's guilt annoyances aunt leah birthdays blog books challenges conversations with Lucas DMB exercise family friends grandparents gratitude grief guest post holidays KRA Letters For You list loss love mama kat's writer's workshop memories me time milestones motherhood MSA NaBloPoMo parenthood parenting photos praise pregnancy2 question quotes SAHM school siblings simple joys TBW TDA bio travel update writing

    Creative Kristi Designs

    Copyright © 2009- 2025 · Letters For Lucas · Design By Creative Kristi Designs