Feeling small, weak and out of control, I recognize these sensations. I’ve been here before. I am at the point during the dreadful two week wait where I turn into someone I know well but don’t like very much. The hormones I’m taking (progesterone, estrogen and heparin) have had a chance to dig into my…
Jackie of With Just a Bit of Magic is my guest today and one of the best things about Jackie is her amazing chocolate chip cookies, which I was a recipient of last Christmas as a part of Katie’s #cookieswap. I spend a lot of time thinking about those cookies. But, I digress… Jackie is…
A coffee table covered with the latest magazines. 12 chairs. 1 love seat. After over a year of treatments and planing my exit, I always opt for a seat near the door because I’m still in denial that I have to be here at all. Couples sit close enough to touch or are clasping hands….
I have never hit anyone in my life. A good friend pushed me in college because I was dancing with a boy she supposedly liked and I pushed back and another time, I slapped a guy for being crude, but that has been the extent of my physical altercations. I don’t even know how to…
One in every eight couples in the United States are affected by infertility. Nearly six million families are childless. Some chose this option, but many more long for children that never come. According to the National Survey of Family Growth, more than 1 million couples grapple with secondary infertility, a couple’s inability to conceive a…
I know I’ll never forget. How could I? And yet, I still felt a burning need to do something or rather have something to remind me and to acknowledge where we’ve been. Something to commemorate the tears and heartbreak, my way of memorializing five lives that never came to be. I bought the first one…
My body is strong. My body carries me and my body lets me down. My limbs contort and stretch, pushing, pulling, reaching, carrying, holding. I sit cross-legged along side my energetic little boy and move cars and trains around a track, help him with puzzle pieces, locate lost toys under the couch, stack blocks and…
My heart is full and I am so grateful for my life and count my lucky stars that I have Lucas. But, there are times I want another baby so much it hurts. I’ve written about this once before. Reluctantly. But there is no denying my feelings. I am trying to stay positive and hopeful…
This week I received two birth announcements, learned that three friends are newly pregnant and to really rub it in, a darling new baby boutique just opened down the street from my house. Don’t even get me started on the Duggar’s. Seriously, it is enough to push me right over the edge, but I won’t…
I am 10 minutes early. After signing my name on the first available line, I sit and wait. Deliberately I thumb through magazines, one after the other as families of four smile up at me from the glossy pages. It’s finally my turn. I am ushered to a dark room and asked to undress. The…
