Letters For Lucas

Wonders, Mishaps, Blunders and Joy.. commentary on my life as a mom in the form of letters to my son

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The One

Posted on October 10, 2012 Written by Tonya

It’s a mystery how two souls ever find one another and why we must go through heartbreaks and missteps to find The One meant for especially for us and us alone.

The beautiful and incomparable Yuliya of She Suggests is my guest this week with a letter to her younger self about finding her special mate, pickled herring eater that he is.

Dear Head Over Heels,

Love is confusing and I am here to help you navigate those stormy seas. Let’s look back at your love life through the years to help you find The One.

You’re 16 and you’re in love.

You steal breathless kisses behind the soccer field (because behind the football bleachers is a total cliche) You exchange handwritten novel sized letters of devotion. Saying goodnight on the phone proves impossible and you cradle the receiver all night syncing your breathing to his.

You have so much in common. Like your mutual love of jazz, (even though you sort of don’t get it.) Your mutual obsession with poetry (even though you sort of don’t get it.) And your mutual adoration of his brilliant mind (even though you sort of don’t get it.)

He is obviously The One. Don’t let the pesky lyrics of that Bob Dylan song he keeps playing for you tell you otherwise. “It Ain’t Me Babe” is obviously a euphemism for something. Something you sort of don’t get.

You’re 18 and you’re in love.

You are dizzy with desire. And dizzier still from the contraband Naty Ice he supplies you (he taught you that’s the cool way to say Natural Ice Beer) Together you frolic among drunken co-eds in his (community) hot tub.

You have so much in common. Like the fact that you both consider Tapatio a food group and both love football. You can spend an entire weekend just wasting away the hours rooting for your favorite team, the Packards? the 76ers? the Bald Eagles?

He is obviously The One. Don’t let the fact that he takes other girls out on dates tell you otherwise. He told you something about ‘playing the field’ and that’s obviously a sports analogy that you just don’t get.

You’re 20 and you kinda sorta like this guy. But it’s no biggie. It’s super casual.

You fail to swoon at the sight of his Old Navy t-shirts and awkwardly sway with him to the uneven beat of Ukrainian folk rock.

You have so little in common. He eats pickled herring for breakfast and likes European techno music. It takes him exactly four months to make the first move which you would find romantic if this was 1852.

But he actually calls when he says he’ll call. He nurses you back to health from the most wicked and completely unattractive bout of stomach flu. He stands up to your parents when they put you down. You can actually see your unborn children in his eyes (with a little help from Jose, Jose Cuervo).

He is obviously The One. Hang on tight and follow him to the end of the Earth (in your case Reno, NV)!

Regards,
Your older, wiser happily married to a pickled herring eater self

Follow Yuliya on Facebook, Flickr, Twitter, and Pinterest.

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Filed Under: guest post, Letters For You, love Tagged With: guest post, Letters For Lucas, love, She Suggests

If Just For Today

Posted on October 9, 2012 Written by Tonya

Trying with all my might to hold on to the calm that I experienced from my time spent with my family at the sea over the weekend, feeling incredibly blessed today at my good fortune (and even better friends), a bit under the weather and slightly overwhelmed at the rest of the week ahead with a traveling husband, I have this to share…

and remember.

If just for today.


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Filed Under: gratitude, photos, quotes Tagged With: beach, gratitude, photos, quotes

Beach Therapy

Posted on October 7, 2012 Written by Tonya

My husband has taken Lucas on his own several times, but for the first time we went camping as a family this weekend and it was nothing like I expected.

It wasn’t that I was anti-camping before, I just simply had zero interest. Zero interest in going without a shower, sleeping in a bag outdoors, on the ground and wreaking of camp fire smoke.

There was a lot of sand because we were at the beach, but we had access (and used) a coin operated shower within footsteps of our camp site. Other than that, it was delightful and didn’t feel like “roughing it” at all. By morning, I wished we were staying one more night. 

There were stars in the sky and that wonderful camp fire aroma, which I do wreak of and probably will for the next couple of days but it’s a small price to pay for the joy in Lucas’ face as he rode his bicycle around the camp grounds, we jumped over waves in the ocean together, devoured s’mores and snuggled up close in a bag on the floor of a tent. Well, in a bag on an air mattress on the floor of a tent.

Being on the beach was my favorite part; hearing the waves last night as we slumbered, watching the surfers early this morning, using our toes to write our names in the sand and feeling the warm sun add a little healthy color to our skin. It was like therapy.

A lot of work goes into camping, between all the gear, shopping, meal planning and preparation, assembly and packing. It’s a delicate balance of work and reward. Todd did the majority of the work for this one night trip, in the hope of (I’m assuming) my return. Next time, I will share the burden. This is one family activity that we will definitely be doing again and soon.

It’s hard for me to put into words why I like the beach so much. Everything about it is renewing for me, almost like therapy… Beach Therapy. – Amy Dykens

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Filed Under: beach, camping, family, photos, quotes, sunday fun day Tagged With: beach, camping, family, photos, quotes, sunday fun day

Preserving Family History

Posted on October 3, 2012 Written by Tonya

My father was born and raised in Shamrock, a small town 89 miles east of Amarillo in the Texas Panhandle. In its heyday there were 3,778 people living in the once popular stopover on historical Route 66. With the construction of Interstate-40, the town was bypassed and all but forgotten (think of the movie Cars before Lightening came to town). Today there are fewer than 2000 people living in Shamrock.

Shamrock has become a sad and dismal place with many lawns that have not been tended, partly due to harsh winters and frequent droughts, but mostly, I believe, because the residents have lost some of their spirit. With the loss of tourists, Shamrock is little more than home to one of the biggest St. Patrick’s Day celebrations in the country and the famous U-Drop Inn, which inspired Ramone’s auto paint shop in Cars.

My grandfather, Joseph Marshall Adams, owned and operated Adams Motor Freight for a number of years. It was Shamrock’s sole transfer and storage company. He had four trucks that hauled mostly military goods, arms and equipment to US Air Force Bases in Amarillo and Oklahoma City.

In 1944 my grandfather sold his trucking business and purchased the Douglas Hardware Store. He changed the name to Adams Hardware.

Three years later my father was born.

Leroy Wall was one of the store’s most loyal and trusted employees. He made deliveries, repaired refrigerators, washers, driers, installed windmill parts, pipes, etc. Leroy worked at the hardware store for more than 20 years and remained a close family friend for the remainder of his life.

My grandmother, Ruby McCasland Adams, had worked in the early 1930’s for American Telephone and Telegraph Company as a telephone operator. Although she had helped out at the hardware store, she had little knowledge of many of the important functions until my grandfather’s sudden death in 1953 from a heart attack.

Ruby McCasland Adams and my father, Michael (circa 1950). Does Lucas look like my dad or what?

Ruby, with three young sons at home had little choice other than to assume the full responsibility of running Adams Hardware. Leroy Wall was a huge factor in her ultimate success. Her sons Robert, a senior in high school, and David, an eighth grader, helped after school and during school breaks. My father, Michael, was just six years old when he lost his dad, but helped the family out by sweeping floors and other odd jobs.

My grandmother was told by the owners of Kersh-Griffin, one of the competing hardware stores in Shamrock, that her business would not last a year. Already a pillar of strength, I can only imagine what this comment did for her determination. Needless to say, Adams Hardware outlasted the other three hardware stores by many many years.

When Ruby died in a tragic car accident in August 1979, her oldest son Robert elected to stay local and manage the store. David lived, worked and was raising his family in Dallas and my father was about to embark on one of the biggest adventures of his life; he and my mother had accepted teaching positions in Karachi, Pakistan. I had just turned seven years old and would be in my mother’s second grade class that fall.

The hardware store was built in 1900 and to this day is a sight to behold. The original wood floors are still beautiful and the ceiling is entirely covered in tin tiles, probably worth a small fortune. The cash register, scale and safe, as well as the show cases and fixtures date from the late 1800’s. My sister and I have an etched glass scissors case and are proud to have this small reminder of our family’s early years.

Sadly, Adams Hardware has been closed for the past 15 years, along with many of Shamrocks once thriving businesses. The shelves and storage area still contain unsold merchandise and share the space with my uncle Robert’s  vast Coca Cola memorabilia. Everything sits as if frozen in time, preserving memories, family history and collecting dust.

Adams Hardware store front March, 2009.

This post was written with love (and a little help from my aunt Gail and uncle David) for Lucas, Leah, my father and my hero, Ruby.  

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Filed Under: cars, family, grandparents, MSA, photos, TDA bio Tagged With: cars, family, grandparents, history, MSA, photos, TDA bio

Between Fit & Comfort

Posted on October 2, 2012 Written by Tonya

I am thrilled to have Angela of Tread Softly (formerly known as Tiaras & Trucks) on Letters For You! 

Angela has always been a big supporter of Letters For Lucas and I have always admired her writing, especially her contributions to Write on Edge, where she serves as Managing Editor. 

We have a lot in common, apart from both being moms and bloggers, we both enjoy running and LOVE to read. Angela writes stellar book reviews and often for BlogHer Book Club. Her review of The Night Circus is one of my favorite and the letter she shares here today is equally insightful and clever. Please enjoy!

Dear Achilles Tendon,

I understand you might feel a bit left out; I’ve been verbalizing writing goals and talking about house projects and publicly scratched my plans to run a half marathon this month. I heard your little temper tantrum, stubbornly tightening up as I let go of my training plan and attempted to get in miles when and where I could.

Out of respect for your hurt feelings, I agreed to take a running break. So I’ve been passing time on an elliptical machine that leaves me unfulfilled—my coveted runner’s high can’t find me on those giant paddle-pedals.

I thought we’d reached a delicate understanding, dear body. I would close my eyes on running and let you heal. You would toe the line on other cardio equipment and keep the status quo.

I wasn’t expecting a rebellion.

Walking out of the gym that morning, tentatively stretching my heel all the way to the ground, the air held the unmistakable lightness of fall. No humidity hung between the street lights and the stars, and my sweat-dampened shirt felt uncomfortably cool for the first time in months.

I pulled my folded jeans out of their drawer and over my legs, unaccustomed to the feel of denim after a season of skirts and dresses and the occasional cotton pajama pants. Fastening the button was simple and they zipped with ease. As they had months before, within minutes the too-stretchy fabric would need to be yanked up time and again throughout the day.

They still fit—as they should have, since my running hiatus was only counting days. Yet the seams pressed uncomfortably into my legs. I slid my hands over the faded thighs, trying to remember if they’d looked exactly like this in April.

I resisted the urge to stride to the bathroom and jump on the scale. I wanted to scrutinize the numbers the way I missed studying the treadmill screen as I gauged my pace during faster intervals. Instead I bent to the floor, cringing a bit at the way the waistband felt against my waist. Touching you, my poor, sore Achilles, reminded me I still need time to heal.

But now I’m left wondering how much of my self-image is tied to my identity as a runner. Feeling strong and fit shouldn’t be connected to the sole act of pounding my feet into pavement or a moving rubber belt over and over again. But it might.

So dear Achilles . . . please heal. Accept my offer of rest, ease your soreness, and allow me to run again. If not, please call a truce with my brain and with my body image. Because fall and winter in Michigan are chilly and long and call for many more days of jeans.

Love,
Me

P.S. I’ll buy you new shoes this week.

Please follow Angela on Twitter, Facebook, and Pinterest.

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Filed Under: books, exercise, guest post, Letters For You Tagged With: books, exercise, guest post, Letters For You, Tread Softly

A Day In The Life

Posted on September 30, 2012 Written by Tonya

A couple of weeks ago, one of Mama Kat’s Writing Workshop prompts was: Share a day in your life represented only in pictures and the time the pictures were taken.

I loved Katie’s (of Sluiter Nation) so much that I wanted to try one of my own.

This was a fun exercise.

Thursday, September 27:

7:37 AM

8:34 AM Off to preschool!

9:02 AM

9:13 AM

11:02 AM Meeting a friend for a walk and hoping my toenails are dry.

12:37 PM Lunch time.

2:46 PM

3:02 PM Pick up!

4:10 PM

5:22 PM

5:43 PM

7:06 PM Back to School night.

9:22 PM

10:08 PM

10:27 PM Grey’s Anatomy premiere.

11:48 PM My husband always goes to sleep before I do.

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Filed Under: exercise, friends, life, mama kat's writer's workshop, me time, motherhood, photos, puppy Tagged With: exercise, friends, life, mama kat, me time, photos, puppy, Sluiter Nation

The Power Of A Sock

Posted on September 27, 2012 Written by Tonya

Even before I started looking I knew the evidence was all around our house.

My first clue was the lone baby sock I discovered in the bottom of a suitcase. He hasn’t been able to wear it in three years.

The tiny, white, soft sock, still smelled of Dreft made me nostalgic, yes but also had me searching for more proof…

Upon further investigation, I realized he’s gone from big wooden chunky puzzle pieces with handles to masterfully assembling the 30+ piece sets.

He’s physically heavier, weighting nearly 34 pounds. I never hesitate to carry him when he asks.

No longer in diapers (except at bedtime), he is learning how his body functions and all about feelings.

Instead of moving his cars across the floor, he creates scenarios and they have conversations with one another.

He loves to play Candy Land, Go Fish, Hide & Seek and Red Light, Green Light and I swear uses real strategy to assure a victory.

The pile of 2T and even some 3T clothing builds as we hand down the things he’s outgrown to our friends children.

He has opinions, knows how to make me laugh, recites the Pledge of Allegiance and can sing along to every word of Call Me Maybe.

More often than not, he opts to walk over being pushed in the stroller.

But the real proof that our house no longer has a baby is in his face. It’s more defined instead of soft and round.

He’s gone from a baby to a little boy in the blink of an eye and it is wonderful to witness.

It’s also enough to make me want to sit in a corner with a tub of ice cream and gallon of wine and cry. Maybe I should reach out to my RE and start up on the baby #2 trail again? 

Better yet, I’m going enjoy what I have right this very minute.

Funny how much power a lone sock can have.

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Filed Under: aging, love, milestones, motherhood, parenthood, parenting Tagged With: aging, gratitude, love, milestones, motherhood, parenthood, parenting

Dear Bobo

Posted on September 25, 2012 Written by Tonya

Momma Kiss is my guest this week and if you don’t know of her or her blog, this woman has sass and spunk for days with an ooey gooey scrumptious center.

Her letter today is to a dear friend who recently lost her brother. Let it be a good reminder that even though we may not connect with our friends as often as we’d like, they are always in our hearts and their hurt is shared.

Dear Bobo,

I know it’s been over a year since we’ve seen each other.

Call it busy schedules with both of our little families growing or just plain life in general, I’m wishing we hadn’t let so much time go by.

And I know we’ve been in touch plenty, via texts and messages and sharing pictures and laughs.

So when I got a message from you on Saturday, knowing you’d send something even though I was with family, I opened it expecting a silly monkey face. 

When instead, I read that you were in pain and in shock, not at all ready to speak – but that your brother had been killed in a car accident – I dropped to my knees.   

Bobo, I’m so sorry for your loss.

So. Sorry.

I hate that you know this pain. This pain so raw you want to claw your skin off. You want to scream at the top of your lungs “WHY?”

Everyone grieves differently, and the process you will go through will not be easy. Services will be held {wear sunglasses}. Sedatives may be advised {take them}. Questions will be asked {you’re allowed to ignore them}.

Your Momma will need a hug and a shoulder – if you can, offer it. 

Please, my friend, also allow yourself the time to process this. I know you’re one to take care of everyone else’s needs first. Please take care of you.

And after things calm down… after your friends stop bringing you food and wine… You will find yourself in your kitchen… maybe in The Bunker, folding laundry. And you will have a memory of your brother that may just shatter you.  

I want you to know that it’s not the end of the world, though.  I promise you.

From this day forward, every single thought you have of your brother – childhood fights, laughs, his time with your boys – every single one will honor his time on earth.  

I love you, Bobo. I’m here for you.

Please follow Momma Kiss on Twitter and Pinterest.

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Filed Under: guest post, Letters For You Tagged With: guest post, Letters For You, Momma Kiss

As Seen On Pinterest

Posted on September 24, 2012 Written by Tonya

Let me first preface this post by saying I am not the craftiest mom on the block and I have burned rice at least TWICE, but I can usually follow instructions.

Pinterest, while it may be somewhat of an obsession for me, (I have pinned over 5000 things) it mostly makes me feel inadequate about my life, my body, my homemaking skills and my craft quota. 

I daydream of being that wife and mother that presents her family with four course homemade meals daily, decorates to the nines for each and every holiday, (or and day that end in -y) travels to far-off exotic destinations, always looking stylish and chic while doing any of the above, hand makes everything and knows how to decoupage, macrame and fishtail braid.

Every once in a while, however, I come across an idea I fool myself into believing I can pull off.

Pinterest is a great place for inspiration but the the outcome rarely resembles the picture, at least in my case. But at least I try…

Here are three of my latest attempts that are worthy of sharing!

The Pin – Book Cover Art Work

Click on image for source and how-to.

The Project

I’m pretty happy with the way this project turned out and actually like it better than the pin. Lucas was very excited about it too,  although you wouldn’t know it by his expression. O_o

SIDE NOTE #1: I was a little disappointed that I e-mailed the original crafter for some help and have yet to hear back.

SIDE NOTE #2: 3M Super 77 multi-purpose adhesive is super nasty sticky stuff! If attempting this project, wear gloves at all times. Just saying.

The Pin – Photo Ideas For Boys

Click on image for source.

The Project

Lucas is crazy about cars and was really into this shoot, especially the set-up.

The Pin – Pumpkin Chocolate Chip Bread

Click on image for source and recipe.

The Project 

A complete and utter fail!

Photos of food always look better than the real thing, so please refrain from licking the screen.

Ack!

This was a complete disaster, AKA #PinterestFAIL.

After cooling for over an hour, I shook the loaf out of the pan and it fell into itself. Maybe I used too much pumpkin puree, my other ingredients were old, or I missed a step but clearly this did not turn out the way it was suppose to.

For more Pinterest projects that I have tried, visit my board, aptly titled Pinterest Projects I Have Tried. Clever, no? 

Have you made any Pinterest projects come to life lately? How many have gone awry?

Click on image for source.

Linking up with Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop. Prompt #4 Choose an item you recently pinned on Pinterest and…TRY IT! Was it a success or failure?

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Filed Under: arts & crafts, books, challenges, cooking, funny, inspiration, mama kat's writer's workshop, photos, pinterest Tagged With: arts & crafts, books, challenges, cooking, funny, inspiration, mama kat's writer's workshop, photos, pinterest

If You Give A Kid A Camera

Posted on September 23, 2012 Written by Tonya

From time to time my phone goes missing for a few minutes. When I get it back I’m always surprised to discover what new images have been added. Here are a few latest gems.

These photos have not been filtered or adjusted in any way.

Clearly.

One lone shoe.

Mommy ordering photos.

Toys.

Lovey.

Mommy eating a chicken sandwich or maybe he was trying to capture the view.

Someone was having a good hair day.

This one we posed for.

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Filed Under: funny, iphone, photos Tagged With: funny, iphone, photos

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