Letters For Lucas

Wonders, Mishaps, Blunders and Joy.. commentary on my life as a mom in the form of letters to my son

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No Dogs Allowed?

Posted on February 4, 2013 Written by Tonya

Recently our landlady found out we have a puppy. We’re guessing it was the photo on our holiday card. See below. 

According to our Renters Agreement, no pets are allowed. I thought my husband had cleared Charlie Pasta’s arrival with her over the summer, but apparently he did not. After berating him (my husband, not the dog) over the phone, she insisted on visiting  to inspect the current condition.

We keep a neat house, despite having a toddler and a puppy. A very neat house. I’m a very anal retentive, OCD, type A, controlling organized person and everything in my home has a place, there is very little clutter, beds are made each morning and toys are picked up throughout the day. We have our house professionally cleaned once or twice a month, the dog is crate-trained and rarely unsupervised. He also goes to the groomer once or twice a month, in addition to being bathed at home once a week.

Even with all of the tidiness, getting ready for this woman’s visit was like a Seinfeld episode…

The day before, Todd and I were leaving town for a quick trip to Tucson to check on the work being done at the house my sister and I inheritance from our parents. I was trying to organize the details of Lucas’ care while we would be away. We don’t want either of our two trusted babysitters to be responsible for the dog too, so we decide to board him and at the same time have him neutered. 🙁

Luckily, the day before the visit was also housekeeper day, but while vacuuming, one of them pulled a snag in the carpet in our bedroom that lead to an eight inch long gaping hole.

A frantic phone call to a carpet repair specialist and $75 later the problem was solved. If you’ve ever wondered how holes in carpets are repaired, it’s much like a facelift with stretching and tugging and lots of glue! It’s a fascinating process.

What I kept thinking as we bid our son farewell for 24 hours and headed to the airport was what must a complete stranger think about us upon entering our home. What does our space reveal about us?

Our style is eclectic, mismatched pillows on the couch in our living room, dozens of books on the shelves and magazines on the bedside tables, family and car photos adorn the walls, except in Lucas’ room, which has Dr. Seuss prints and a huge Lucas Oil sign. You’ll find a treadmill and a spin bike in one room and a welcoming guest bed in the another. There are doormats at every door that leads outside. There’s a bowl of fruit on the kitchen counter next to a gourmet style coffee maker. There are several bottles of perfume on the sink in the master bathroom and tons of evidence that not only a child, but also a canine live here too.

What you can’t see when you walk through our house is that we are a family, we are responsible people, parents and pet owners and we respect where we live. Not just on drop by visit days, every day.

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Although we haven’t heard from her, our landlady came and went and took our February rent check with her, so I guess we are allowed to stay. For now.

EDITED TO ADD: I guess it all comes down to the Renter’s Agreement. Today we received notice that we have 45 days to vacate. Oh joy!

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Filed Under: annoyances, family, home, move, puppy Tagged With: annoyances, family, home, landlandy, move, puppy

My Tree: A Timeline

Posted on March 19, 2012 Written by Tonya

As you may or may not know, my parents died while working in Tunis, Tunisia. My father was the principal of an American international school and my mother was a third-grade teacher.

A month after they died, the school planted two olive trees on campus in their memory. It was a lovely gesture and my sister, husband and I were to attend the dedication ceremony. I often think about those trees, what they symbolize and how they came to be.

American Cooperative School of Tunis – November, 2007

Two months later, my husband worked with our gardener to find an olive tree for our backyard and gave it to me as a Christmas gift. It is the most thoughtful gift I have ever received. I love that tree and enjoyed watching it flourish.

Pregnant with Lucas – April, 2009

Two years and a baby later, my husband opened his own car dealership and we moved.

Our moving day – December, 2011 (Lucas is 1 1/2)

The tree was one of the things I was most worried about because we weren’t going to take it with us. Until we got settled in a new city, we would be renting. Mercifully, the gentleman that bought our house said the olive tree could stay until we purchased a new home.

This past February, the new owner changed his mind, got a puppy who enjoys digging at the tree and decided he wanted to do something else with the yard space that has become my tree’s home.

My husband reached out to our old gardener and other tree removal companies and a couple of weekends ago with the help of a good friend, relocated my tree to the backyard of our rental home.

Moving day for the tree – February 19, 2012

It looks a lot different; sad, completely traumatized and barren, but we are hopeful that it will hang in there and someday flourish again.

My tree today, one month after being uprooted

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Filed Under: friends, gifts, move, photos, TBW Tagged With: friends, gifts, move, photos, TBW

Me

Posted on November 30, 2011 Written by Tonya

5 Things You Don’t Know About Me:
1. I’m always on time, sometimes even early.
2. I’m as loyal as a dog. Unless you cross me or enjoy creating drama for the sake of drama, I’ll be yours til the end.
3. Name an artist and I can [probably] sing one of their songs. This is a great party trick.
4. I am FIERCELY competitive. Trust me, you want to be on my team when playing Scene It, Trivial Pursuit or Taboo.
5. When watching movies at home, I use subtitles because I don’t want to miss a word.

5 Things I’m Knowledgeable About:
1. Acting like I know what I’m doing.

2. Moving. I’ve moved 14 times since 1991 so I consider myself a pro.
3. Locating a book at the bookstore or library without any assistance.
4. I am uber organized, as in file folders with labels-containers of all shapes and sizes-everything has it’s place kind of way.
5. I’m a really good marketer. Ever since I was 14 I wanted to work in advertising and for 10 years I did before becoming a mother and now I help a few people market their small businesses and help them break into social media and I still love it!

5 Things I Know Nothing About:
1. Applying eye make-up.
2. Changing a tire.
3. Lighting a fire.
4. Cooking. Seriously, I burn rice.
5. Driving a manual transmission vehicle.

5 Things I Believe:
1. I believe in the power of positive thinking, a hug, hot shower, long walk, one-on-one time with someone you love, a good cry, a glass of wine and children’s laughter.
2. I believe everything happens for a reason and while I may not always know what it is, I’m determined to learn from it…. eventually.
3. I believe that motherhood is the toughest job on the planet and something I was meant to do.
4. I believe that life is short and there is absolutely no use walking around pissed off at the world.
5. I believe in Santa Claus.

This post was written for Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop, Prompt 2.) Five Things. List 5 things we don’t know about you, 5 things you’re knowledgeable about, 5 things you know nothing about, and 5 things you believe. (inspired by LouLou’s Views)

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Filed Under: books, confession, cooking, mama kat's writer's workshop, motherhood, move, TDA bio Tagged With: books, confession, cooking, mama kat's writer's workshop, motherhood, move, TDA bio

Old Favorites

Posted on April 4, 2011 Written by Tonya

We have lived in Orange County for almost four months and still have a garage full of stuff to organize in hopes that one day we might be able to make enough room to park at least one car, several boxes yet to unpack, several bare walls to adorn and haven’t met all of our neighbors.

We may have just found our new favorite pizza spot, but have yet to discover our new favorite park, farmer’s market, sushi restaurant, bakery or the quickest route to the freeway.

I miss San Diego. Specifically, I miss our old house. I miss our old neighbors. I miss our old favorites.

In north county San Diego I knew exactly where to get a unique child’s birthday gift: Geppetto’s at The Forum Shops in Carlsbad, an excellent bagel sandwich: Garden State Bagels (Encinitas or Carlsbad), the perfect turkey burger: Lotus Cafe (Encinitas) and a inexpensive way to tire out a 21 month old: Kidsville at the Westfield mall in Carlsbad. I also knew where to get the best donuts, cookies, cakes, pies and bread on the planet: VG Donuts & Bakery in Cardiff.

Mmmm… donuts.

San Diego friends, please do me a favor and go get a donut or a dozen for me and I’ll make it worth your while! Juice in the City is currently offering a super sweet deal: $10 for $20 worth of bakery items at VG Donuts & Bakery.

Click here for more details!

And meanwhile… *sigh* I will remain on the lookout for new OC favorites and try not to drool. There is a strong possibility that I will be making a trip to certain favorite old bakery too. 🙂

This is a sponsored post written by me on behalf of Juice in the City. I was compensated for this post, but all opinions expressed are 100% my own.

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Filed Under: juice in the city, move

Time To Detox

Posted on February 8, 2011 Written by Tonya

My husband and I are doing something utterly insane this week. Well, okay, it’s not that crazy, people do it all the time. In fact, little did I know, Todd has actually done it several times in the past and for a lot longer period of time.

What are we doing?

We are cleansing! For the next three days, we will eat and drink nothing but juice and water.

We are using a friend of a friend’s product called Ritual Cleanse. We are doing the Seasonal Reset Cleanse; which consists of six fresh pressed pure vegetable, fruit and nut juices a day, one every two hours for three days.Before signing up, I tasted these juices and they are delicious! I’ve also heard nothing but great things about the outcome, so I am really excited (or as excited as one can be over starving themselves for 72 hours).

I digress…

People cleanse for many different reasons; it’s a quick, easy, efficient way to flush the whole body and reset all its systems. For some it’s all about the weight loss. For me, I’m not interested in losing any weight, although, I’d be lying if I said I wouldn’t be thrilled to see a lower number on the scale after three days of not eating. Between moving and the holidays, there has been a lot of late night eating, take out, fast food and alcohol, so my personal goal is to detox my insides and jump start my body for a healthier way of eating.

I’m sure by the middle of Day 2, I’ll have a raging headache and want to eat my arm off, but I’m trying to stay positive and I am very committed to doing this.

We start tomorrow and I will be tweeting about my experience follow me here: @letters4lucas and I’ll post an update here next week.Stay tuned and wish us luck!

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Filed Under: exercise, health, move, ritual cleanse, TBW, weight Tagged With: exercise, health, move, ritual cleanse, TBW, weight

Operation: Get Organized 2011

Posted on January 3, 2011 Written by Tonya

Operation: Get Organized 2011 is under way!!

Maybe it’s the freshness of a brand new year or all of Target’s wonderful container displays, or the fact that nothing makes you take a good, long, hard look at all your stuff better than a move, but I seriously need a Peter Walsh intervention.

If you aren’t familiar who Peter Walsh is, he is the brilliant Australian who hosts Clean Sweep on TLC and is regularly featured on Oprah as THE decluttering and organization guy. He’s hard core and I could benefit from his tough love.

I am NOT a hoarder by any means, in fact I am one of the most organized people I know. Everything has it’s place in my kitchen, bathroom, purse, wallet, and car, HOWEVER, I do tend to hold on to things for far too long.

Things that don’t matter, but represent a memory.

Things that mean absolutely nothing to you, but everything to me.

Things that, at the end of the day are nothing but clutter and take up very valuable space.

Things that, in some cases may be hard for me to part with.

Things like: magazine clippings, receipts, hotel room keys, dried flowers, matchbooks, movie, concert and airline ticket stubs, notes and cards from friends and family (and not like meaningful handwritten letters, I’m talking postcards, thank you cards, birth announcements, birthday and wedding invitations), restaurant business cards, notebooks I kept when I was in college and papers and poems I wrote in junior high and high school, books that I have read and re-read and marked up and pictures up to my eyeballs.

All of my mementos are kept neatly in several plastic containers in our garage and every once in a blue moon (hardly ever), I’ll go through them and wonder, why do I keep all this stuff?

This year I vow to go though these containers and purge!

The truth is, I DON’T need this stuff and it’s time to let it go.

We (I) also have a lot of candles, candle holders, vases, picture frames without pictures and other knick knacks of absolutely no significance. They were impulse buys, gifts, or no longer go with my lifestyle or decor. If they’re not being used, these things have got to go too!

Yesterday, my husband took Lucas to a yard sale in our old neighborhood and came home wanting to have a sale of our own. Not a bad idea! What’s the saying, one mans junk is another man’s treasure? I doubt anyone will want my wine cork collection, but the other stuff might be worth something to someone.

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Filed Under: move, operation: get organized, stuff, TDA bio

A New Year

Posted on January 2, 2011 Written by Tonya

2010 was a year of highs and lows for our household. Luckily the highs outweighed the lows and in many cases I shared them on Letters For Lucas

Here are (just) the highlights:
January – Leah moved to Los Angeles.
March – I got my third tattoo.
April/May – We took a very memorable trip to Australia and New Caledonia, where I got to see my dearest and oldest friend, Sophie again after 10 long years.
May – A fun girl’s weekend to San Luis Obispo.
June – Lucas turns 1 year old.
August – Lady Gaga in concert with Leah.
August – A very intimate backyard BBQ featuring my all time favorite singer, Dave Matthews.
August – Letters For Lucas turned one.
September – Todd started his new business, European Classic Cars on PCH.
September – I gave Seattle another shot, fell in love and got to see my friend Siobhain again after 25 years.
October – I participated in my third Susan G. Komen 3-Day Walk, second with my sister and I got to cross ‘walk over the Golden Gate Bridge’ off my Bucket List.
December – We moved to Orange County.

December – Leah and I took Lucas to Disneyland for his visit time.

Looking forward to 2011, but not a big proponent of New Year’s Resolutions per se, my goals tend to be very similar from year to year:
  • Exercise more
  • Read more
  • Cook more
  • Be present no matter what I’m doing or who I’m with. Be in the moment.

And this year, I am on a mission to declutter our home starting with Lucas’ toys and books, but more on that in another post.

What’s on your agenda for the next 364 days of the year? Let’s make ’em count!
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Filed Under: aunt leah, DMB, friends, holidays, list, milestones, move, new year, sophie, travel Tagged With: 3-day, aunt leah, DMB, friends, holidays, list, milestones, move, new year, sophie, travel

A Symbol Of Love & Loss

Posted on December 23, 2010 Written by Tonya

In November 2007, a month after my parents died, my husband, sister and I traveled to Tunisia to visit the school, ACST (American Cooperative School of Tunis), where they worked. We wanted to spend time where they last had, visit with their colleagues and gain some peace and understanding. It was also important to me to be the ones that cleared out their home.

It was a difficult trip to say the least, but necessary for our grieving process. We were met with much understanding and support and much of the time we were not only being consoled but were consoling.

In a very touching ceremony, the school planted two olive trees* in a common area on campus and dedicated one to each of my parents while we were in town.That year for Christmas my husband had an olive tree planted for me in our side yard.

This was taken the day the tree was planted:

It was almost an exact replica to the ones planted for my parents continents away. right down to the white stones. Luckily, however, it is a non olive producing tree, for that would just be a mess!

In three years it has almost doubled in size.

This is me pregnant with Lucas at 30 weeks:

This was taken the day we moved:

I love this tree and will always appreciate the kind gesture that my husband made in finding and having it planted at our home. It will forever remind me of our trip to Tunis, the two trees that grow and bloom there in memory of my parents and of course, my parents themselves.

Todd is working with our old gardener and the new residents to either move the tree to a farm until we buy our next house and can plant it there, or keep it with the old house until we are ready to transplant it.

*The olive tree is native to the Mediterranean and a cultural symbol of Tunisia.

Silvery green leaves are oblong in shape and in spring small white flowers bloom. With age, the trunk is typically gnarled and twisted.

Tunisia produces 500,000 tons of olives each year. Many of Tunisia’s olive trees are believed to be over 2,000 years old.

The olive tree is one of the plants most often mentioned in literature. In Homer’s “Odyssey”, Odysseus crawls beneath two olive tree branches that grow from a single stock. The Roman poet, Horace mentions it in reference to his own diet, which he describes as very simple: “As for me, olives, endives, and smooth mallows provide sustenance.”

Olive trees are symbols of abundance, glory and peace.

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Filed Under: aunt leah, gifts, holidays, love, move, TBW, travel

Raindrops Keep Falling On My Head

Posted on December 21, 2010 Written by Tonya

The day we moved into our new home, it was 80+ degrees and to keep Lucas occupied, we set up his water table in the backyard. He was in heaven!The spacious backyard was one of the main reasons we wanted this house. Sadly, it has done nothing but rain ever since move in day. As of yesterday, Southern California has received six inches of rain in four days and it is suppose to remain gloomy and wet through the rest of the week.

Lucas keeps looking out at the backyard, now a muddy mess, saying “park”. 🙁

I suppose it could be worse, we could live on the east coast and be dealing with snow and freezing temperatures. Us Californians just aren’t used to being this wet.

Here’s to a sunny, or at least dry Christmas Day.

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Filed Under: move, photos, weather

Week One

Posted on December 18, 2010 Written by Tonya

In our first week in Orange County we’ve been to Disneyland, the annual Newport Beach Boat Parade and a shopping trip to South Coast Plaza and have managed to settle in to our new home. There are still many boxes to unpack and a garage full of items to organize, but the basics are done.

I was five years old the first time I went to Disneyland in the Summer of 1977. How my parents managed to get this shot without another soul in it is beyond me. Fast forward to 2010 and this is what Sleeping Beauty’s Castle looks like today:Lucas loved his first visit to Disneyland or “the Mickey Mouse park”, as it has come to be known in our house. If you ever get the opportunity to visit during the holiday season, it is really worth it. The Happiest Place on Earth becomes the Merriest Place on Earth with holiday decorations abound and it even snows!

We took Lucas on the It’s a Small World ride and he was bright-eyed and excited the entire time bouncing along to the soundtrack and enjoyed being on the boat, even after waiting in line for 40 minutes.

I was pleasantly surprised that he sat through the entire “A Christmas Fantasy” Parade, which includes all the Disney characters and Santa Claus too, after waiting another 40 minutes. He was mesmerized by the lights and dancers.

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Handing us the park map so we can find our way to the “choo choo”.

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Way more interested in his Mickey balloon than meeting Minnie.

 

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It was a memorable and magical first of many trips.

Back to unpacking…

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Filed Under: aunt leah, disneyland, milestones, move, outing, photos Tagged With: aunt leah, disneyland, milestones, move, outing, photos

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