praise

This Boy

Posted on June 5, 2015 Written by Tonya

Oh, how I love this boy!

Photo by Tereza Harper, January 27, 2015

This boy who made me a mommy.

This boy who brings magic and joy to my life when I need it most.

This boy who is healthy and intelligent and creative and kind.

This boy who makes me act silly and come up with nonsensical song lyrics and dance around the kitchen.

This boy who knows exactly what to say to get me on the trampoline.

This boy who has me learning Skylanders characters and sharing the latest Star Wars movie previews and downloading games with names like Pixel Gun and Buddyman to our iPad.

This boy who costs me at least $20 more every time I take him with me to the supermarket.

This boy who I can’t say no to when it comes to books.

This boy who shares my love of dinning out and being pampered.

This boy who is sensitive and rambunctious, curious and insightful.

This boy who can push each and every single one of my hot buttons to the point where I am in tears and yet, I love him anyway.

This boy who I schedule play dates for, buy his favorite snacks, pay a dollar so he’ll run upstairs to check on his napping sister and can make me giggle until I almost pee in my pants.

This boy owns me.

This boy is gold.

Lucas, my sweet boy, you are awesome and being your mom makes me happier than anything else I have ever done, or will ever do in my lifetime.

I believe in you and know you will reach any goal you set your mind to. I am on your side, your cheerleader, and biggest fan. Always!

I can’t wait to see what six holds.

Happy Golden Birthday, fellow.

I never want reading to be a chore for my children. I want them to love it as much as I do. I want them to let books take them to far away places and introduce them to new and interesting people. I want them to fall in love with characters and words and share their favorite titles with me someday. I want reading to be one of their favorite pastimes.

You can imagine my excitement and worry when the book report assignment came home from my son’s Kindergarten teacher:

One book report per night, including weekends.

Must include:

Title of the book

Author

Favorite character

Two-three sentences about the book

Picture

No make-ups, unless ill and for every ten book reports turned in, there is a prize; books, gift certificates to favorite local eating establishments, the honor of being able to read to the Principal, Vice Principal and Pre-K class, pizza lunch with the teacher, etc. If you turn in 100 book reports, you get your very own stuffed Mighty Monkey (the class mascot).

The directions clearly state that book reports are “not mandatory” and should not be considered part of the child’s nightly homework.

Tall order for a fiver-year-old, (not to mention his parents) but guess who hasn’t missed one single book report yet?

This guy!!

Lucas has made the nightly book reports part of his homework and almost always enthusiastically completes them. It’s harder to get him to do them on the weekends.

He carefully chooses books from the many we have lying around our house, (usually overdue library books) and we will snuggle up and read them together. Then he diligently draws an accompanying photo and describes his favorite parts. His spelling isn’t always perfect, but it is phonetic and his writing is atrocious. I must repeat, “neatness counts” a dozen times throughout the process.

As of last week, Lucas was only one of four in his class of 19 to have reached this milestone! He’s still reading and has until the end of May to keep turning in book reports.

I am so proud of my little bookworm.

Last Day Of Preschool

Posted on July 19, 2014 Written by Tonya

Yesterday was Lucas’s last day at the preschool he has attended for three years. We tucked a love note in his lunchbox and shared cookies and snacks to celebrate with his classmates, who had all signed an adorable farewell card for him. He brought home the name tag that has been affixed to his tiny desk since January and his personalized pencil box.

He was fine yesterday but the day before he was very emotional about not seeing his friends again. As soon as he saw me, he burst into tears. Having moved around a lot as a child, I could completely empathize. I assured him that we would keep in touch and he could see his friends as often as he wanted, in fact I wrote a note for one of the mothers right then and there to prove I meant it. She has already called and a play date has been scheduled for next week!

He has come along way, our little boy. I often wonder if we sent him to school too early; he was barely two-years-old, not even potty trained. It was only two mornings (9:00-12:00) a week to start and then three and then three full days (9:00-3:00) and then four full days.

Lucas has had three teachers and been in two classrooms at the small Montessori school. They have taught him a lot and I am grateful to his teachers and the staff for their dedication and for making his first educational experience so positive.

He has outgrown the small school now and will be attending a much bigger private school in September, where there will be new things to learn and many friends to make. We are very excited about this milestone.

And if you are getting sick of my OMG-my-son-is-a-Kindergartener posts yet, I’m sorry. They will continue throughout the summer and probably all next school year.

Before Turning Five

Posted on May 30, 2014 Written by Tonya

I have been feeling nostalgic, extremely proud, a little sad and slightly offended by the passing of time lately. A week from today my son, my firstborn and the one who made me a mama will be turning five. Five!!

Lucas is an awesome kid with a silly sense of humor and an undying curiosity, two traits I hope he always possesses. He’s also a sweet sensitive little boy and is learning how to be more independent and how to take no for an answer.

My son had a banner year and I couldn’t possibly list all of his accomplishments (yes, this is going to be one of those posts) but I would like to share a few that stand out for me. In no particular order:

As a family we survived a nine month stint in a tiny two bedroom apartment while we searched for a house and while he mirrored my frustration with our living situation, Lucas really made the best of it and out of all of us was the most adaptable. He also served as an active participant in our home search and shared his desire for a backyard and missing his trampoline and a dedicated play area. He was patient and understanding through our moves.

Twice this year Lucas has gone through his toys and allowed us to either set some things aside for his little sister to play with someday or give items to goodwill. This is not an easy feat for children but he did it with ease and graciousness.

I will always remember this as the year Lucas went from being obsessed with Cars to being obsessed with Star Wars. We are currently up to our eyeballs in Jedi, droids and intergalactic battles. Enough said.

In January, Lucas was moved into the upper Pre-K class at his current preschool and in March was accepted into a local prestigious private school where he will begin kindergarten this fall. He was one of only 17 students out of 70 accepted! We are excited about next school year and all the new things Lucas will be exposed to.

One of Lucas and his dad’s favorite things to do together is go skateboarding and over the last year, Lucas has become proficient at it! He practices safety and caution while at the same time pushing himself and being daring in spite of a few skinned knees and elbows.

Over Memorial Day weekend, we hosted Lucas’s first sleep over and it was fun, but also a tiny glimpse into our future of being cast aside in favor of being with friends.

Just yesterday, Lucas earned a yellow belt in karate, a sport he’s only been participating in since mid-January. He’d been practicing for days, worked with a friend and his sensi to perfect the series of moves and announced on the way to class that he was ready to test. He said advancing to the next level was something that he wanted to do before turning five and he did it!

One of Lucas’s biggest accomplishments this year was becoming a big brother, a role that he seemed born to have. At only four months old, Lola idolizes him and has since the very first moment they met and he is completely enamored by her. Watching their relationship grow and develop and seeing Lucas’s nurturing side has been one of my greatest joys. I knew it would be!

Being a good sibling and working hard towards something he wants were major themes for this year and prompted a lot of discussions about what being a good role model means. I’m happy to be this amazing boy’s mom and he delights and surprises me daily. I can’t wait to see what five has in store for us.

Next up? In his words, “mastering the art of tying my shoes!”.

Lucas, my sweet boy, you have all the time in the world for that. Enjoy your last week of being four. I love you.

Collecting Seashells

Posted on November 19, 2013 Written by Tonya

I have said it before and I’ll say it again, being a mother is the toughest job I have ever had and I’ve had some crummy jobs.

It’s thankless and tiresome and sometimes so frustrating I want to scream, gauge my eyes out and curl up in the fetal position and cry. It’s also rewarding in ways I never thought possible and has taught me so many valuable lessons about love and life and the world around me.

But I digress…

When my husband travels, motherhood is the absolute hardest.

Honest to God, I don’t know how single parents or parents with deployed spouses do it. I suppose they have no choice, so they just do.

Just like Lucas and I have the past five days…. Five days of breakfasts, lunches, dinners, snacks, arguing over screen time, bath time, potty talk, picking up toys and getting shoes on. Five days filled with soccer practice, park visits, hours of games and books, reminders to wash hands and brush teeth, one super fun play date, three viewings of Peter Pan and a beautiful afternoon at the beach collecting seashells.

It was when I finally kicked off my shoes, took a deep breath and got sand under my nails digging for shells with my son that I realized, five days is nothing, I’ve totally got this and I have a great kid! These moments of it just being the two of us are fleeting so I should stop counting down the hours until bedtime and enjoy it.

I may have continued to look at the clock a little more than usual, but we made it through virtually unscathed.

Each time Todd is out of town, I appreciate all that he does to help raise our son, care for our dog, keep our household running smoothly and help my sanity by sharing all of our responsibilities. I am so grateful to have a parenting partner, someone to share the duties, challenges and most of all the love. ______________________________________________________________________________

Day 18: Today I give thanks to my life partner in crime and in all matters of the heart, my husband. I don’t know how (or why) he has put up with me all these years, but I’m glad he has. I love him with all my heart. #30daysofgratitude

Sibling Love

Posted on November 5, 2013 Written by Tonya

I always wanted a big brother, someone to look up to besides my parents, team up with against our parents and have look over me with an extra protective eye. I wanted an in-house best friend, secret keeper, rival and real life yard stick to which all boyfriends would have to measured up to.

I wished for a sibling for years and years before my sister was finally born. We are close, but the almost 12 year age gap between us has been challenging at times. When our parents died I could not have imagined going through that on my own. My sister is the only one that truly understands and shares that grief with me.

I wanted a second child for Lucas, a sibling close to his age, someone to bond with for life, grow up beside and in the event that anything ever happens to me or his dad, someone to help bear the burden and be sad with.

There is no doubt in my mind that Lucas is going to be an amazing big brother. He is already so conscientious about his little sister’s arrival, constantly thinking about her and asking if we should purchase this item or that for her, sharing what he plans to teach her once she’s here and asking questions about what she may be like.

This is his first drawing of his sibling. She’s all eyes, cheeks and smile. And those are her “little legs peeking out of her blanket”.

Swoon…

“A sibling may be the sole keeper of one’s core identity, the only person with the keys to one’s unfettered, more fundamental self.” – Marian Sandmaier

Day 5: Sunflowers… They’re big, bright, striking and always make me smile. #30daysofgratitude

10 Things I Love About My Son

Posted on August 1, 2013 Written by Tonya

When it comes to our children, we all think we’ve hit the jackpot… Our kids are the cutest, sweetest, smartest and most well-behaved and everyone else’s aren’t. And while that be so in own little delusional worlds, when it comes to my kid, there are a few things that I am really grateful for that Lucas is/does/doesn’t do/has:

10. He has never EVER been a screamer. THANK GOD!!

9. Despite being a very picky eater, he has always been a very neat eater, who doesn’t like using his hands and wipes his mouth with a napkin almost after every bite.

8. He may not always go to sleep at his bedtime, but he can entertain himself (usually by looking at books, amusement park maps and catalogs) by himself until he falls asleep and the typical requests for water, snacks, extra cuddles, just five more minutes, etc. are at a minimum.

7. He has WAY more patience than I do when it comes to waiting in lines, waiting in doctor’s offices and getting stuck in traffic. He just accepts it.

6. He has his dad’s sense of humor… very dry and expression filled. He knows how to bring the funny and keep you on your toes.

5. He has the makings of a true humanitarian displaying genuine concern about other people and their well-being. If he overhears me talk about a sick friend, days later he will ask me how they are doing.

4. He is social and wants to meet and talk to new people and make friends.

3. He is crazy inquisitive and the questions he comes up with and the connections he makes and the details he retains blow my mind daily.

2. His blue eyes make me melt. They are bight and beautiful and are a direct reflection of my own and my father’s, which I have written about before here.

1. He’s happy. He wakes up smiling and goes to bed smiling. Sure he has his moments (he’s still only four) and we definitely butt heads from time to time, but for the most part, he is really easy going (another trait he most certainly got from his dad).

I honestly don’t know what I ever did to deserve such an amazing and special blessing. I love this kid to pieces and I could come up with hundreds of qualities, quirks and special characteristics that I adore about him.

What are your favorite things about your child?

A Proud Mommy Moment

Posted on July 15, 2013 Written by Tonya

First of all, allow me to clear away the cobwebs and spray a little Endust. It has been nearly three weeks since I last blogged, the longest unintentional break I’ve ever taken. I have to say I liked it.

A lot!

What have I been up to?

I turned 41, I’ve been spending a lot of time in the sun, at the beach and pool with my family and friends, riding my beach cruiser while wrangling my dog and trying to keep up with Lucas on his scooter and reading! I am completely devouring the Veronica Roth Divergent series and counting down the days until the third installment comes out. Anyone else hooked? Speaking of being hooked, I have also discovered Keeping Up With The Kardashians. Don’t ask!

Plus, I honestly haven’t felt like writing or sharing even though there is never a loss for subject matter and my head is buzzing with post ideas. I suppose I’ve been a bit lazy too. Blogging is hard work and those of you that pump out material on a daily basis, my hat is off to you now and forever. I truly don’t know how you do it.

At any rate, while my blog posts may be sporadic, I am not quitting, just enjoying life.

I recently had one of those “I’m so proud to be this boy’s mother moments” and wanted to document it.

I took Lucas to the park after school one day last week and I neglected to grab his scooter or helmet. I knew that there may be hell to pay. While he enjoys being pushed on the swings, playing in the sand, climbing on the monkey bars and sliding down poles, he really loves riding his scooter most of all and no park outing is complete with it.

As suspected, he complained at first but was overall okay with Mommy’s mistake.

Leave it to Lucas to notice a lone PlasmaCar. He inched his way towards it and promptly got on and zoomed away. I chased after him and told him that it probably belonged to another child at the park and he’d have to return it when asked. It took exactly three minutes before a little boy about his Lucas’ age came over and exclaimed, “Hey, that’s mine!”. Lucas gave it up without a fight and then proceeded to sulk around the park.

Next thing you know the PlasmaCar is available again and Lucas gives me that look and I give him one in return and tell him that he better ask the boy if he can ride it. “No, you, Mommy!!” he whined.

I give him a three sentence script, a kiss for luck, hang back a little and watch and wait. He runs back to me twice without having said anything to the little boy but getting closer to him each time.

I know this is a huge undertaking for a four-year-old and I know he’s nervous. But I also know he wants to rides that PlasmaCar and I am confident that he can do this. I keep encouraging him and ask him what’s the worst that can happen? The boy says no and that’s it. You’ll say, “Thank you, anyway.” and move on. I’m trying to teach him self confidence and social skills and it worked.

On his third or fifth attempt, he is talking to the boy and seconds later, he rushes over to me with the biggest smile on his face.

“He said yes!!”

Because their conversation was very short, I did double check with the boy and indeed, he had said yes!

Proud son, proud Mommy!

Sometimes all you have to do is ask.

Back To Basics

Posted on March 28, 2013 Written by Tonya

From the time I was 17 on, I only saw my parents 3-4 times a year. They worked and lived overseas while I was in boarding school and then college in Arizona. Our time together was precious and never long enough. I believe they made up for the distance, the absence and maybe a sense of abandonment they felt by showering me with material things and checks.

For a while, I liked it.

A lot.

What greedy teenager wouldn’t?

I would pine for something and get it. I will be the first to admit I was spoiled and still have selfish tendencies because of it.

But there came a moment, sometime around my Sophomore year of college that I didn’t like the “gifts” and even began refusing the checks my father would try to hand me with tears in his eyes at the airport upon saying goodbye.

It started to feel like guilt money. I tried to explain my feelings, but they said I was being crazy.

I swore I wouldn’t do this to my children.

Funny how as parents we do that a lot, huh?

In the weeks leading up to our recent move and as we have been settling in, I have overindulged Lucas with more treats and cars and other toys than I care to fess up to. I wanted the transition to be a smooth one for him and I thought the gifts would help. He’s done fantastic. Of course. All he really cares about is that his family; mommy, daddy, puppy and fishy are all together under the same roof.

I have had to bring Lucas along with me to dozens of doctor’s appointments in the last few months and when he waits patiently (WAY more patient than I ever am) by my side, I feel the need to reward him with the toys he asks for. All he really cares about is spending time with mommy.

I learned a long time ago that I cannot take Lucas with me to the supermarket, Target or any other establishment that sells toys because he gets a terrible case of the gimmes and I fall prey each and every time, buying him more crap he doesn’t really need.

The stuff is not only a waste of money, it’s a poor excuse for my love and praise and he doesn’t need a million toys. I know there’s a I want him to have a better childhood than I did thing going on, but the truth is I had a full and rich childhood and I wanted for nothing. I was blessed.

I need to break this cycle now and get more creative with my affections. I need to learn to say no and not be so weak and cave when he says please, Mommy in that sweet little boy voice I know will soon change.

His dad and I do our best to teach our son about gratitude and being thankful for the things he has but my continuous buying doesn’t help.

It’s hard when everything is a negotiation with a three year old and you want to give him the world and that’s why I have decided starting Monday, April 1, because Sunday is Easter and I have already made up an Easter basket for Lucas, I am going to go on a one month, no buying strike. No toys, no games, no Matchbox cars, no packages of Micro Drifters, no sweets, no books, no plastic junk. I will post updates here on my progress.

We are going to rediscover toys Lucas already has and spend quality time together playing games and visiting the library and parks and having good old fashioned play dates. We are going to get back to basics and I will be weak no more. Wish me luck!

Model Student

Posted on February 26, 2013 Written by Tonya

Instead of catching up on e-mail, playing Words with Friends or chatting with the other mothers while Lucas was in his recent My Gym class, I watched him for the entire hour.

I watched the confident way he carried himself and his friendly interaction with his classmates and teachers and I don’t think I have ever been prouder.

Not only did he tumble, jump, twirl and dance, he waited patiently for his turn to walk across the balance beam and somersault down the inclined mat.

I watched him cheer his classmates on with encouraging, “you can do it!” and “that was awesome!”.

I watched him look to his instructors for approval and smile brightly at me from across the room.

I watched him make space on the mat for others and beamed at his enthusiastic, “ta-da”, the gym’s mantra. Talk about heart melting! He was so proud of himself.

I watched him hold on with all his might on the high bar barely completing three chin lifts, but he did it!

I watched him stifle his laughter while climbing across a rope ladder and heard him squeal with pure delight on the mini zip line. The thumb’s up her gave me upon reaching the opposite wall was priceless.

There are moments in motherhood, rare and magical that make all the frustration, worry and hard work worthwhile, moments when you just know in your gut you’ve got a great kid and you’re doing okay as a parent and this was definitely one of them for me.

Lucas had fun, was polite and courteous and tried his very best. What more could a mother ask for?

This Boy

Related Posts:

My Little Bookworm

Related Posts:

Last Day Of Preschool

Related Posts:

Collecting Seashells

Related Posts:

Sibling Love

Related Posts:

A Proud Mommy Moment

Related Posts:

Back To Basics

Related Posts:

Model Student

Related Posts:

Related Posts:

Related Posts:

Related Posts:

Related Posts:

Related Posts:

Related Posts:

Related Posts:

Related Posts:

Related Posts:

Related Posts:

What I Write About