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In Praise Of The Lovey

Posted on October 21, 2013 Written by Tonya

It’s been camping and to Disney Land, attends preschool every day he does and we wouldn’t dream of taking a vacation without it.

It has been gripped tightly on Ferris wheel rides, throughout Christmas pageants, while trick or treating, scary scenes in movies and lovingly caressed during story time.

The poor thing has been dragged through airports, zoos, parks and tossed up in the air, gotten stuck on walls and in the refrigerator.

It has cleaned up the most unspeakable messes when nothing else was available.

Luckily there are four, all equally loved, but only one original.

Once known as his “ya ya”, Lucas first took to his lovey at just 10 months old. It has been a constant source of love and security ever since and is my hero because it has the ability to comfort him in ways I can’t or haven’t yet learned.

Does your child have a favorite item that they cling to when the going gets tough?

Mommy Time Well Spent

Posted on October 9, 2013 Written by Tonya

Lucas goes to preschool 18 hours a week.

Six hours, three days a week.

Those 18 hours are precious as hell to me but also busy as hell.

If I’m not sitting in a doctor’s office or being seen by a doctor, which eats up a lot more of those 18 hours than I care to report, I am running around like a chicken with it’s head cut off.

I typically have a ‘To Do’ list a mile long consisting of phone calls to make or return, groceries to purchase and dry cleaning to drop off and pick up.

I use those three days to walk the dog, tackle mounds of laundry, attempt meal planning and/or cooking, keep our home in order and if there is any me time left over, I catch up on my shows, blog, get my nails done, shower and wash my hair or enjoy the company of a friend over lunch, but every once in a while, I forgo the busy morning and appointment driven days and take myself to breakfast.

This is what that looks like:

Just me, a pot of green tea and a book. It’s a rare but lovely treat.

Where do you find your bliss?

Linking up with Sarah of The Sunday Spill and Greta of Gfunkified for their #iPPP weekly meme. Photo was taken with my iPhone 4s.

I Write In Books

Posted on October 1, 2013 Written by Tonya

I have shared my love of reading before, how much I adore getting lost in the shelves at bookstores and how I collect books.

My nightstand has been taken over by must reads.

I’m always reading something and this year I have made a [successful] conscious effort to read more. A purist at heart when it comes to books, I can’t believe I’m actually considering adding a Nook or Kindle to my holiday wish list.

I’ve gotten a lot better about passing my good reads on to family and friends, but I can’t seem to let go of my favorites and after I have read something, I hang on to it for far too long because of a habit I have…

As a lover of quotes and words in general and how some authors have a magical ability to string them together, for as long as I can remember I have written in my books.

I underline passages and sentences that speak to me and are relevant to my life and then add them to a document I have on my computer.

My father did the same thing.

In fact, it brought me to tears when my sister, husband and I were cleaning out my parents house and discovered a box full of dogeared pages and post-it notes and lots of of pen marks in books he had read and needed to transfer quotes from to his own document. Like father like daughter, I suppose…

Here are a few of my latest and these are all books that I highly recommend!

Where’d You Go, Bernadette? by Maria Semple

Ten Years Later: Six People Who Faced Adversity and Transformed Their Lives by Hoda Kotb

The Lone Wolf by Jodi Picoult

How To Kill A Rock Star by Tiffanie DeBartolo

Have you read any good books lately?

Have you ever come across a book with passages underlined or notes written in the margins by someone else, like a family member? Did it add to or detract from your reading experience?

If you have an e-reader, which one do you prefer and why?

20 Questions, 22 Months Later – Update

Posted on September 24, 2013 Written by Tonya

I seemed to have forgotten/put off/overlooked a follow up questionnaire to my 20 Questions post from November 2011, which I had wanted to do every year, so here it is, Lucas at 4 years, 3 months.

See if you notice a theme…

1. What is your favorite color? Red

2. What is your favorite toy? Cars movie cars and Planes

3. What is your favorite fruit? Grapes

4. What is your favorite TV show? Paw Patrol

5. What is your favorite thing to eat for lunch? PB&J

6. What is your favorite outfit? My red Cars movie shirt, light brown shorts and red rubbers

7. What is your favorite game? Sorry!

8. What is your favorite snack? Cereal bars

9. What is your favorite animal? Zebras

10. What is your favorite song? 22 by Taylor Swift

11. What is your favorite book? Once Upon A Time…The End

12. Who is your best friend? Wyatt, Jackson, Mommy and Daddy

13. What is your favorite cereal? Fruit Loops

14. What is your favorite thing to do outside? Scooter, skateboard and play soccer

15. What is your favorite drink? Chocolate milk

16. What is your favorite holiday? Christmas

17. What do you like to take to bed with you at night? Lovey

18. What is your favorite thing to eat for breakfast? Cereal

19. What do you want for dinner on your birthday? Breakfast

20. What do you want to be when you grow up? A race car driver

While I’m not thrilled by my decreasing best friend ranking, I loved this exercise and how much Lucas’ tastes have both changed and stayed the same.

Questionnaire originally found on Pinterest.

I Don’t Know How To Play

Posted on September 17, 2013 Written by Tonya

I’m a terrible mother because the three words I loathe the most are: play with me, especially when strung together repeated and delivered in a whinny four year old voice.

I will go round after round and even let him win sometimes at Junior Scrabble, UNO and Connect Four, in fact I love games!

I will ask 20 questions, trying to figure out what he spies with his little blue eyes.

I will search high and low for gel food dye to add to shaving cream to smear all over the shower stall, bend and twist pipe cleaners, clean up glitter and tiny pieces of construction paper and attempt to draw anything he asks me to.

I will create a playlist of his favorite Top 40 hits and have a dance party in our living room.

I will spend hours at Disneyland, California Adventure, Knott’s Berry Farm, Sea World and Legoland with him by my side waiting patiently to go on each and every ride he desires.

I will push him on swings, play hide-and-seek and time him on his scooter as he makes loop after loop around the park.

I will load the car with sand toys, sunscreen and towels in order to to spend the afternoon at the beach building castles, hunting for shells and chasing seagulls.

I will take him to Target knowing full well I’ll be spending most of our trip in the toy aisle agonizing over Cars, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and other items he has, wants or needs.

I will learn all his favorite characters names and let him quiz me on them.

I will carefully pre-measure ingredients for him to add to bowls and let him try using the mixer on low so he can “help” me bake a cake.

I will pack his backpack with his beloved snacks and activities and take him on many trips to visit family in the Bay Area.

I will read him any of the dozens of books we own over and over all day long.

I will take him to the latest kids movie where we share the biggest bag of popcorn they sell.

I will send mothers I don’t know notes asking if their sons would enjoy coming to our home to spend time with my son.

I will make up silly songs, perform puppet shows with no real story lines and do just about anything to make Lucas smile or laugh.

There are tons of things I will do with my son and thoroughly enjoy, but playing with him is not one of them.

Pushing cars around the floor and having “races” is not fun for me.

I don’t know how to be a ninja and I hate holding toys or stuffed animals in my hand making them have conversations with one another.

It’s not that I feel silly or stupid, I’m just not good at pretending. I think maybe I was once… I loved playing with Barbies but not anymore and I feel guilty because I hear “play with me” A LOT!! And too many times my response is, “let’s go to the park!”.

Do you know how to play with your children? Please tell me I’m not alone in my guilt.

Meal Patrol

Posted on September 4, 2013 Written by Tonya

Family meal time has always been one of my favorite parts of the day. Gathering together to unplug, catch up, inquire about each others days, laugh, share and nourish our bodies in the process, however, I’ve come to dread breakfast, lunch and especially dinner.

I loathe having to beg my son to eat.

I have grown tired of the negotiations that take place at our dining room table.

I hate being on meal patrol!

I know this is a common problem, but OMG, if Lucas would just eat, I would be happy. Honestly, I can handle the potty talk, drawl out bedtimes, and boundary testing if he would just EAT!!

All the sit up straight, face the table, stop touching your feet, watch your elbows, just two more bites, and try it, pleaaaaase aside, my husband and I struggle daily and nightly to get Lucas to eat anything. I understand his young palette is still developing, but he doesn’t even enjoy “regular” kid food. He won’t touch a French fry, chicken nugget, hot dog or dream of dousing anything in ketchup. What does he eat you ask? The list is very short.

Pasta.

Lots of pasta.

Tons of pasta!

But, it must be prepared a certain way; not too much olive oil, no fancy breadcrumbs on top or other garnish and he would prefer a cheese shaker on the side. Oh, and he likes to eat it with a spoon. So, in addition to being picky, he’s particular about his food too.

Carbs are his favorite food group.

Just recently he started asking for plain cheeseburgers from Old MacDonald’s (as he calls it) and as much as I hate fast food with a passion, I consider this a HUGE victory. It’s protein, right?

In talking to Lucas’ pediatrician, at the end of the day as long as his meals have been colorful (yeah, right!), she tells me not to worry, but I’m a mom and I will worry and I know that yogurt, a cheese stick and a half a banana can’t be all that nutritious for anyone.

I’ve tried a handful of recipes from Jessica Seinfeld’s cookbook, Deceptively Delicious: Simple Secrets to Get Your Kids Eating Good Food and let’s just say, they didn’t go over very well. My sleuth son was on to my attempt at getting him to eat better.

I consider myself a picky eater and now I fear I’m raising one too. Any advice for me or better yet, make me feel better, what parenting challenges are you facing?

One Year Ago

Posted on August 14, 2013 Written by Tonya

I love the old adage, “the more things change, the more they stay the same” because in life there are many, many things that should never change.

For example and just to name a few: my favorite bagel shop should never under any circumstances stop making their scrumptious cinnamon sugar bagels because even though I don’t indulge in one very often, I love just knowing they are there and they smell insane.

I believe champagne should always be popped when there’s something fabulous to celebrate and even when there’s not.

I think goofy games should always be played at baby showers no matter how much the guests and typically the guest of honor bitch about them.

Sesame Street should never go off the air, even though my son has never been a fan.

I especially hope my husband never ceases to make me laugh and my son always prefers to sit next to me instead of across form me when we are at a restaurant.

Dependability is nice, tradition is comforting, being surrounded by people and things you can trust and count on is very good and support and unconditional love is priceless, but looking back just one year ago, almost everything in my life is different, some WAY better, some WAY worse.

Exactly one year ago today I posted Letter to my Blogging Buddies by Alison of Writing, Wishing as part of my weekly series, Letters For You, I was desperately in love with and getting to know our new puppy, Charlie Pasta, I was trying to find the good in myself and making lists. I wasn’t sharing much else.

Only six of the 11 posts I published last August were mine, all the others were guest posts. So far this month, I’ve written nine posts, including this one so I’m sharing more, which can only be healthy for my psyche.

I think.

Since August, 2012, we have moved and are now living ~~miserably~~ uncomfortably in a teeny tiny apartment as we search for our dream house and I’m still getting to know our dog, who turns out is A LOT more work than my four year old and I regret getting almost daily.

Charlie Pasta and I are NOT in a good place these days, although as he sleeps peacefully at my feet as I type this, I realize I really do love him.

How has your life changed in the last year?

And what are some things you hope never change? I asked this on Twitter the other day and all I heard was crickets, so won’t you please indulge me?

This post was written for Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop Prompt #3. What were you blogging about last year at this time? What has changed?

Why I Hate Clothes Shopping

Posted on August 6, 2013 Written by Tonya

We all have that friend that looks like she just walked off the pages of the latest magazine… no matter what the event, she is impeccably put together head to toe, wearing the latest styles, “in” colors and jewelry to match. As much as you want to hate her, you admire her, even envy her and above all wish you could either consult her before leaving your house or raid her closet.

I hate clothes shopping!! It is on my top five list of activities I despise the most. Just thinking about it causes me anxiety. I wander around clothing stores aimlessly, completely overwhelmed, purposely avoiding the overbearing sales staff, fingering through beautiful racks of clothing and getting more and more frustrated that I’m not a size two. I’m actually okay with my body and size, I’ve been every where from a size 6 to a 10 and back again. These days I’m somewhere in between, but shopping for and putting together outfits is not my forte no matter what size I am.

I always admire the flawlessly dressed, coiffed and accessorized mannequins in the windows, but as soon as I foolishly think for one second that I can replicate their look, I fall flat. Or the store is out of my size. Or (and this is more than likely the case) it NEVER looks as good on me as the display.

The other extremely annoying phenomena that occurs upon entering a clothing store is I get closet amnesia and can never seem to remember what I already have at home. Hence the reason I end up with more stripes or black shirts.

I never feel less put together, frumpy, clueless or out of my element than when trying to clothes shop.

And don’t even get me started on three way mirrors! They are seriously a cruel joke and because of them, I hardly ever try anything on in the store and therefore end up returning a lot of items. Last week alone, I’ve bought and returned four things. To four different stores! I ended up with nothing.

Once, I enlisted my fashionista friend (as described above) and owner of Inside Out, Wardrobe Rehab to help me overhaul my closet and I shared my experience here. I think it might be time for another session.

At least I’m not alone, according to a study I found online, only 29% of women actually admit to enjoying going out to buy something to wear.

However, I read another study that said, assuming a woman lives to be 63, she will spend 25,184 hours and 53 minutes of her life buying things. On a yearly basis, this adds up to just shy of 400 hours. 95 of which are dedicated to buying food, which makes sense as I know I’m at the super market at least twice a week! 170 hours are dedicated to buying clothes. 170 hours of clothes shopping?! I’d rather have a root canal every day for a week or have my friend dress me.

Do you like clothes shopping?

Just Thinking Out Loud…

Posted on August 5, 2013 Written by Tonya

Okay, so bear with me, this is a random post in order for me to purge… I have a lot on my mind these days. Stupid, ridiculous, trivial crap and big, life changing, important stuff too. I think it’s imperative to get it all out sometimes, so here goes:

First and foremost, how in the hell is it already August?

Only 34 days until my next Dave Matthews concert… not that I’m counting or anything.

Moving. Or more importantly, finding our (close to and within our budget) dream house. Open living space, big backyard, guest room (or not), Jack & Jill bathroom, two-story (or not) and back in our old neighborhood. It’s not that much to ask for, is it? And yet, we have looked at dozens of houses and haven’t quite fallen in love with any and if we have, they were bought within days or hours of us seeing them.

Dog training. Charlie Pasta is having a hard time and will be going away for training for two weeks later this month and I am absolutely thrilled!! He hates apartment living as much as I do and has decided to act out and turn skittish (AKA bark like a maniac at every noise he hears). We’ve become very frustrated and turns out are not the best dog trainers, so it’s time for professional intervention.

North West. When and how are Kim & Kanye going to introduce their daughter to the world? I’m so curious. Unless, they have already and I’ve been living under a rock?

I’m so happy America’s Next Top Model is back!! Cycle 20, baby!! This time it’s girls vs. boys. No judging… you know you watch it or something equally embarrassing, right? Right?!

Speaking of embarrassing TV, another guilty pleasure show that I have gotten sucked into this summer is Mistresses. It’s so bad.

How many times does a day does “Blurred Lines” play on the radio and how soon before it really starts to bother me that my four year knows almost every lyric?

There is more substance to me than bad television and pop songs, I am currently OBSESSED with This American Life, the weekly public radio show broadcast and I recently downloaded the app and have listened to some of the most amazing stories from learning how to count cards in order to beat casinos to the love of summer camp and an incredible story about babies switched at birth only to find out 40 years later. The host, Ira Glass is my new hero.

I’m looking forward to the day when I don’t have to hear “butt”, “poop” and “pee” 900 times a day or reprimand someone for using them in excess. Seriously, how do you make it stop?!

There is definitely a lot more going on in this brain of mine, but this really helped. For now…

What’s on your mind?

If You Had Told Me 10 Years Ago…

Posted on June 24, 2013 Written by Tonya

If you had told me 10 years ago that…

I wouldn’t have a full time job, but would be getting paid to write,

both my parents would be dead and it would take me the better part of five years to sell their house,

I’d be the mother to a four year old,

I’d be battling secondary infertility and sharing my story in my own column,

I would consider going to the grocery store alone a mini vacation,

my family would be living in an apartment,

we’d own a dog,

my sister would live less than an hour away,

I’d be walking on average 600 miles a year (usually with the dog),

I’d be playing more games of Words With Friends than reading,

my closest friends would (thank God) remain the same,

and I’d be blogging,

I would have grabbed the closest chair or wall to steady myself and then told you were absolutely nuts!

It’s true, my life has been a combination of crazy, wonderful, sad and magical. I have experienced the highest of highs and the lowest of lows over the last 10 years and in all honesty, I wouldn’t change a single thing.

Do you live with regrets?

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In Praise Of The Lovey

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