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Even More Things I Know For Sure – NaBloPoMo

Posted on November 17, 2015 Written by Tonya

Turns out at 43 I know some stuff.

Not a lot of stuff but enough.

I’ve shared before: 13 Things I Know For Sure and 13 More Things I Know For Sure.

For those of your keeping track, I’m up to 39 things I know for sure, as in without a doubt, I’d bet my next paycheck on it certainty.

Here again, is a list of 13 more things I know for for

1. People drive through our neighborhood too fast.

2. People drive too fast in general. Last May I got a speeding ticket, my first in years and I paid dearly for it. I’ve tried to slow ever since.

3. There are few things like reveling in the fact that all the laundry is done. I live for those five minutes each week!

4. All neighborhoods should have sidewalks.

5. Any time I step foot in Target I will spend $100.00. Even if I just go for one or two items. I know I’m not alone in this phenomenon.

6. Any time I step foot in a store that has carts and I think that basket will do I’m wrong!

7. If you give a child a napkin and they will find anything else inappropriate to use instead.

8. Inevitably a playdate will fall on the day after the housekeeper has come.

9. 5 to 7 days after we’ve been at a bounce house (or any public venue) birthday party, Lucas’s nose will start running like a faucet and within 48 hours his sister’s will too. But I will will be the one down for the count for at least two days! Good times.

10. As soon as the dishwasher in my house is emptied, it’s full again.

11. Lucas will try a new food at someone else’s house and love it, but the minute I serve it to him in our home, he won’t eat it.

12. My children truly have no idea how much they are loved. There is just no way.

13. Every day brings a chance to start over, a clean slate, a new beginning. And thank God for it!

What do you know for sure?

Old School Blogging: I Am

Posted on May 22, 2015 Written by Tonya

I’m linking up with Elaine of The Miss Elaine-ous Life and Angela from Jumping With My Fingers Crossed for a little Old School Blogging and this month is a questionnaire of sorts.

Come play along! Copy and paste the words in bold below, write your post and link up.

I am still in my pajamas and it is (well) after noon.

I wonder if my body will forgive me for working out so hard yesterday.

I hear birds chirping, a leaf blower, cords from the blinds upstairs gently hitting the wall and our water cooler humming.

I see a flashing cursor and it reminds me how much I love writing and don’t do it enough.

I want someone to bring me lunch and help me dress like Olivia Pope.

I am currently obsessed with Scandal. I’m binge watching it for the first time from the beginning and don’t know why I never watched it before. It is a great show and a much needed escape for me at the end of the day.

I pretend everything is okay.

I feel most at ease by the sea.

I touch my daughter’s hair a lot. It’s soft and silky like spun liquid gold.

I worry I’ll never have time to read all the books I’d like to, about dying and running out of gas on the freeway.

I cry every time I hear my son tell his little sister he loves her, for all the losses in my life and at Kleenex commercials.

I am trying my best to be more patient with myself and those around me.

I understand how important it is to be present, enjoy the here and now and let those you love know it!

I say no more than yes.

I dream of taking my children on an African safari, sipping a Kronenbourg with my husband at our favorite cafe in Paris, finding the perfect pair of jeans, clear skin (seriously, what is the deal with acne after 40?!) and being a gladiator.

I try to be a good human, loyal friend, great mom, loving wife and understanding sister.

I hope I am the mother my children need and to always be stronger than I think I am.

I am blessed.

My Loves – May 9, 2015

Old School Blogging: Full-On Random

Posted on March 13, 2015 Written by Tonya

I’m linking up with Elaine of The Miss Elaine-ous Life and Julia from Wine in Mom for a little Old School Blogging and today and it is going to get random!

1. If you could be on a reality show which one would you choose?
None! I’m not a fan of reality TV. I think most of it scripted so there’s nothing really “real” about it and it completely salacious and I feel so embarrassed for whomever is being featured. If I had to choose though it’d be Chopped. I’d be the first one kicked off, but I would have a hell of a time with that first basket of mystery items!

2. Name one thing you have saved from your childhood?
I’m a sentimental fool and I’ve saved tons of stuff from my childhood; concert ticket stubs, playbill, favorite dolls, Barbies, and my Raggedy Ann & Andy blankie.

3. If your life had a theme song what would it be?
That’s a hard one, I associate with so many different songs for all the different chapters of my life. I wrote a post called The Soundtrack Of My Life back in 2010 and revisiting it, the only song I’d add is A Thousand Years by Christina Perri because it wouldn’t be my life without it. Incidentally, for the back story on that, I wrote Live & In Person.

4. Where is your happy place?
I’m a homebody by nature, but I gain such peace and clarity by being at the beach.

5. What is one thing about your home that you and your spouse disagree on?
Our dog. Hands-down the worst mistake I’ve ever made in my life was getting a dog and my husband and I argue about him, his care, his behavior, his hair, and his actions all the time!! We don’t argue about anything else.

6. What is your favorite fruit?
Granny Smith apples.

7. Bowtie or regular tie?
I used to work for a complete ~~dick~~ tyrant who wore a bowtie so I’m going with regular.

8. Mexican or Italian (food, not men)?
Hardest question ever. Seriously, how is one to choose? Too much good stuff… Penne all’Arrabbiata, bruschetta, cannoli, chianti, salsa, enchiladas, tequila. Moving on.

9. Where do you want to go on summer vacation?
Anywhere in Europe, but my desire to return to Paris is growing greater by the day! It’s my husband and my favorite city in the world and we are anxious to take our children, but we want them to love it as much as we do so the timing has to be just right!

10. What are your go-to shoes in your closet?
After almost 20 years in SoCal, that’s easy, flip-flops!

13 More Things I Know For Sure

Posted on January 19, 2015 Written by Tonya

Call it Murphy’s Law, women’s intuition, or just knowing myself and those around me really well, there are certain things that as a 42 and a half year old woman I have come to learn and know to be without a doubt true.

Here are 13 more things I know for sure:

1. As soon as I warn my five-year-old that his elbow is dangerously close to a cup of milk, he will knock it over.

2. Just as I am are ready to leave the house, my toddler will have a gigantic poop! This will not only be frustrating, but make me later to wherever it was I was suppose to be five minutes ago.

3. It’s always better to call than e-mail or text.

4. I will always leave my son’s classroom after volunteering my time with a smile on my face and a renewed sense of wonder and imagination.

5. I have to exercise daily for my sanity and those around me.

6. The day before I have a manicure scheduled I will break three fingernails.

7. If I plan to take my toddler to said manicure during her scheduled nap time, she will not sleep.

8. The game or toy or book or article of clothing or concert or fill in the blank that I am most looking forward to will be back ordered, out of stock or sold out, but if karma is on my side, I’ll find it at Target.

9. Being a mother is the hardest job on earth. Hands down.

10. The minute I think, “Gee, I haven’t been sick in a while,” I will feel a tickle in my throat and be sore from head to toe.

11. What works in your house may not work in mine and vice versa and that’s okay.

12. I know that change is inevitable and I’m much better off adjusting than struggling to keep things the way they are.

13. I know that life is a roller coaster and all I can do some days is hold on and enjoy the ride and or scream my head off!

For my previous 13 Things I Know For Sure, click here. And if you’re keeping track, that 26 now. Go me!

What do you know for sure?

Old School Blogging: Reflections

Posted on January 14, 2015 Written by Tonya

I’m linking up with Elaine of The Miss Elaine-ous Life for a little Old School Blogging and today I’m doing some major reflecting on jobs I’ve had, idols, personal accomplishments and my last meal….

Who do you idolize?
The 15-year-old in me wants to shout Dave Matthews because… Dave Matthews.

The mother in me wants to say my fertility doctor because… Lola.

But really, anyone who has more creativity than me, whether it’s artistically, or musically, someone who can look at the contents of my refrigerator and cupboards and come up with an amazing meal, people that can draw anything other than a stick figure, people who are kind beyond measure and go out of their way consistently to do things for others, people that write and speak effortlessly and with passion and conviction, these are the people I idolize.

What is something you are really proud of that you have accomplished?
I hope it goes without saying that I’m really proud of my children and my marriage (most days).

I also love that I have kept up with an exercise regime that works for me and makes me feel good. I walked 534 miles in 2014!

I’m proud of the many 5Ks I’ve participated in, the one half-marathon and three (!) Susan G. Komen 3-day walks.

I’m really proud of the infertility column I wrote for SheKnows. I shared what I was experiencing on a day-to-day basis with my own struggle and it was always from my heart. I know that my words helped other women battling infertility and hopefully still do.

I’m proud that I submitted and read a piece I wrote in front of a large audience for Listen To Your Mother two years ago.

What is something that you are not so proud of?
I am not proud of my behavior sometimes. I hate that I get to a point with my son where I yell. I hate yelling!! We seem to be having a listening problem.

I have a tendency to be selfish and fly off the handle, as they say. My husband gets the brunt of it and it’s completely unfair. I’m working on my patience level and lowering my expectations.

Who was your best friend when you were 5, 6, or 7? Tell me something about them.
Charmaine was my first sleep-over-mimic-the-dance-moves to Grease 2-shaved-my-legs-with-for-the-first-time real friend. We met in second grade while both living in Karachi, Pakistan and are still friends today. She lives in Holland and I haven’t seen her since 1985 but I love that we have kept in touch over the years.

What is one thing you wish you could still do but may seem impossible right now?
A really good cartwheel or the splits. For as much yoga and other exercise that I do, I am so not flexible.

If you could chose it, what would be your last meal?
Filet Mignon with peppercorn sauce, my husband’s twice-baked potatoes, steamed broccoli, a glass of The Dreaming Tree Cabernet and cannoli for dessert.

What are two or three jobs you’ve had that you liked?
There are aspects of every job I’ve ever had that I really enjoyed. Mostly the people and relationships, and there were aspects that were downright awful. Mostly the people. Just kidding. I’m most grateful for working in publishing at two different companies, Fancy Publications and Crain Communications.

I think my favorite job was my early years of working in an advertising agency. The creativity and buzz was electric and I really felt a part of something special. It was my dream job. I thrived on the impossible deadlines and late hours, until I didn’t.

What is one job that you did not like?
The first job I accepted out of college I hated mainly because of the bitchy women and I worked with and also because I was asked to change my name. Long story but there was another Tonya on staff so I went by my middle name. It was a stupid and regrettable decision on my part.

What is your least favorite chore around the house?
Hands-down unloading the dishwasher!

How tall are you? Do you wish you were taller? Shorter?
5′ 7 1/2″ and I’m okay with it. I haven’t always been, especially when dating shorter guys.

How old are you? What is something you have learned in those years that you want to share?
I am 42 and a 1/2 and yes, the half is still important to me today as it was when I was 5 and a 1/2!

I’m still learning, but one thing lately I know for sure is that when being seated at a restaurant, it’s okay to say, “I don’t want to sit here, can we find another table?”.

I also cannot implore younger women enough to take care of their skin… sunscreen, sunscreen, sunscreen! Apply it everywhere, not just your face but your entire neck and upper chest. I wish I had started that process a lot earlier.

As I’ve gotten older, I’ve grown more comfortable in my skin and with my body and that is something I never thought would happen.

What is one of your favorite quotes on love, life or motherhood (choose one)?
I am a collector of quotes so this is nearly impossible to answer, but one that I come back to over and over again is: “And the day came when the risk it took to remain tight in a bud was more painful then the risk it took to blossom.” – Anais Nin

But I also love: “Always be a first rate version of yourself, and not a second rate version of someone else.” – Judy Garland

And there’s this one: “The real things haven’t changed. It is still best to be honest and truthful; to make the most of what we have; to be happy with simple pleasures; and have courage when things go wrong.” – Laura Ingalls Wilder

Cool Facebook Feature: Saving Items To Read Later

Posted on September 10, 2014 Written by Tonya

I have so much I want to share… my mother/son trip to Chicago, Lucas’s first day of Kindergarten and his “goals” for the school year, my feelings about Lola growing up too fast, trying to savor the small moments of her babyhood and coming to grips with the fact that she will most likely be my last baby, my favorite Dave Matthews Band lyrics (a project I have been working on in PicMonkey for weeks!), gun play, transgender issues that have me in tears, and an incredible book that I read in two days and touched me in more ways than I never expected, Rare Bird by my friend Anna Whiston Donaldson but, while my head is full and drafts are started but sit unfinished and I grow increasingly depressed by how I can’t seem to find the time to write, I recently discovered something that has literally changed my [social media] life.

I used to take screen shots of Facebook posts that I wanted to come back to later and read and/or share but many times never did which resulted in hundreds of photos on my phone with unworkable links. I’m stubborn about deleting them and delusional that I’ll ever find the time to read them.

I don’t know how I discovered it, but I’m thrilled that I did… Did you know that you can save things you find on Facebook to read later with a nifty Save feature? It’s super easy and for all the bitching everyone does about Facebook, they have created a pretty cool site.

On every Facebook post that contains a link, there is a a small gray carat which leads to a drop down menu, click it and scroll down to Save “TITLE OF POST”. Easy right?

But where do they go?

Check out one of the menu options on your Feed Page/Favorites:

Happy saving and you’re welcome!

Thank You’s

Posted on May 2, 2014 Written by Tonya

My latest crush is on Jimmy Fallon (see yesterday’s post for 10 reasons why) and I love his segment on Fridays where he writes thank you notes. He’s essentially mocking the practice by thanking everything from…

Peer pressure, for being totally not cool. Unless my friends think it’s cool, then it’s pretty cool I guess

Jeopardy, for being the most entertaining way to remind me of how stupid I am.

For more, click here.

Here is my own list of thank you’s… some serious, some not so much and none as funny as Fallon.

Thank you to:

Gardeners who turn off their leaf blowers and loud tree trimmers when I walk by pushing Lola in a stroller, but my own, even after talking to him about it still can’t grasp the concept of a sleeping baby.

The litterbug who threw their empty American Spirit cigarette box on the street prompting a lively discussion with my four-year-old not only about the dangers of smoking, the importance of picking up after ourselves but also the relationship between cowboys and Indians.

Drive-thru Starbucks! Seriously, I don’t know if God exists, but if he does, he gave moms the drive-thru.

The man standing at the urinal who completely ignored me when I barged in with my two kids in tow. Oops. I really need to learn to read signs!

The girl at the park who called me “ma’am”. As if my tired bones, dark circles under my eyes, gray roots and flabby postpartum gut haven’t been making me feel old enough. Sigh… For future reference, that salutation is never okay.

The even younger girl at Yogurtland with your ass hanging out of your shorts and your midriff showing, you gave me something to think about when Lola is your age. NOTE TO SELF: Buy all of your daughter’s clothes!! Oh, and two things: yes, you’re hot and no, you are NOT dressed appropriately, not that you were wondering or care! Shame on your father, the man I presume and hope you were with for letting you leave the house dressed like that.

Solar power, you rock! With the 90+ degree days we’ve been having lately, running our AC doesn’t make me tailspin into panic at the thought of our energy bills.

Lola’s bowels that seem to know exactly when we are running late and headed out the door and decide to let loose, if you know what I mean. O_o

What are you “thankful” for?

Just Thinking Out Loud…

Posted on August 5, 2013 Written by Tonya

Okay, so bear with me, this is a random post in order for me to purge… I have a lot on my mind these days. Stupid, ridiculous, trivial crap and big, life changing, important stuff too. I think it’s imperative to get it all out sometimes, so here goes:

First and foremost, how in the hell is it already August?

Only 34 days until my next Dave Matthews concert… not that I’m counting or anything.

Moving. Or more importantly, finding our (close to and within our budget) dream house. Open living space, big backyard, guest room (or not), Jack & Jill bathroom, two-story (or not) and back in our old neighborhood. It’s not that much to ask for, is it? And yet, we have looked at dozens of houses and haven’t quite fallen in love with any and if we have, they were bought within days or hours of us seeing them.

Dog training. Charlie Pasta is having a hard time and will be going away for training for two weeks later this month and I am absolutely thrilled!! He hates apartment living as much as I do and has decided to act out and turn skittish (AKA bark like a maniac at every noise he hears). We’ve become very frustrated and turns out are not the best dog trainers, so it’s time for professional intervention.

North West. When and how are Kim & Kanye going to introduce their daughter to the world? I’m so curious. Unless, they have already and I’ve been living under a rock?

I’m so happy America’s Next Top Model is back!! Cycle 20, baby!! This time it’s girls vs. boys. No judging… you know you watch it or something equally embarrassing, right? Right?!

Speaking of embarrassing TV, another guilty pleasure show that I have gotten sucked into this summer is Mistresses. It’s so bad.

How many times does a day does “Blurred Lines” play on the radio and how soon before it really starts to bother me that my four year knows almost every lyric?

There is more substance to me than bad television and pop songs, I am currently OBSESSED with This American Life, the weekly public radio show broadcast and I recently downloaded the app and have listened to some of the most amazing stories from learning how to count cards in order to beat casinos to the love of summer camp and an incredible story about babies switched at birth only to find out 40 years later. The host, Ira Glass is my new hero.

I’m looking forward to the day when I don’t have to hear “butt”, “poop” and “pee” 900 times a day or reprimand someone for using them in excess. Seriously, how do you make it stop?!

There is definitely a lot more going on in this brain of mine, but this really helped. For now…

What’s on your mind?

Search History

Posted on July 29, 2013 Written by Tonya

Sometimes I look at my Internet search history on my phone and I have to smile… or cringe.

Having an inquisitive brain myself and a very curious four-year old, I love being able to look things up in a moments notice in order to satisfy an urge to know, settle an argument or further investigate simply for the sake of knowledge. Kids ask a lot of questions and it’s nice to be able to deliver a response and often with photos.

The strangest request Lucas has had recently is to show him a picture of Dr. Laura. I know, I know, probably not the best car ride listening entertainment, huh? Well, maybe some of her wisdom will sink in?

Here’s what else I have researched lately:

In my defense (from top to bottom):

I highly suggest looking up Tom Cruise and his winning smile… there is something amiss. He has a tooth in the center of his face. It’s totally creepy.

I signed up for an upcoming 5K.

The Tijuana Dogs are one of my favorite local bands and I was checking out their tour dates.

My BFF is moving to Corsica and although she doesn’t know it yet, I’m planning a trip. Worth researching for the gorgeous photos alone!

I gave Charlie Pasta his first people food… popcorn and then freaked about about whether it could hurt him. He loved it and it’s okay for dogs.

I’m anxious to read Life After Life by Kate Atkinson.

Lucas wanted to know all about barnacles. Random, right?

I am bound and determined to make gazpacho before the summer is over.

What have you looked up lately?

Old School Blogging: Reflections

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