Letters For Lucas

Wonders, Mishaps, Blunders and Joy.. commentary on my life as a mom in the form of letters to my son

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My Wedding Day

Posted on August 19, 2011 Written by Tonya

I started participating in Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop over a year ago. My first entry was a post called Second Chances, in which I wrote about my wedding day.

I loved everything about that day at the time.

Now my memories are bittersweet because the day after my wedding was the last day I saw my parents alive.

Always up for a celebration, my parents thoroughly enjoyed my wedding day and were happy to see me happy. It was a day full of toasts and laughter, hugs and tears of joy. There was good conversation and sunshine. Todd and I were surrounded by all the people we love most in the world.

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Given there were only 27 guests in attendance and we got married at our home, the photographer we hired was a sweaty annoying mess, darting from here to there desperate for subject matter.

I suppose I can’t really blame him and in fact, today I’m grateful to him for capturing so many beautiful shots of my mom and dad.

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Candid, non-posed shots that I will treasure always.

And then there are these:

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Linking up with Natalie’s Down the Aisle.

Even though she only asked for our favorite photo – singular, I hope you understand why I couldn’t pick just one.

Related Posts:

  • The Summer Of ’69
  • Happily Ever After
  • 10 Years Ago

Filed Under: blog hop, KRA, mama kat's writer's workshop, milestones, MSA, photos, TBW, wedding Tagged With: blog hop, KRA, mama kat's writer's workshop, milestones, MSA, photos, TBW, wedding

Reflecting: One Last BlogHer ’11 Post

Posted on August 10, 2011 Written by Tonya

As BlogHer ’11 is still sinking in and I am reeling from all the new inspiration and sweet memories, I have to share one last post… the fun one, the evidence, the photos!
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1. Let the games begin: arriving at the hotel Wednesday night in full blogger garb and new Uncommon custom iPhone case. Love!

2. My BlogHer experience would not have been complete without a photo with my blogging idol, Sherri of Old Tweener. Sigh! She is a beautiful person inside and out.

3. Flat Mandy of Mandyland enjoyed the Women Create Media workshop a little more than the rest of us.

4. Twitter twins, soul mates in many ways and my roommates for the weekend, the beautiful Natalie of Mommy of a Monster and Nichole of In These Small Moments.

5. Night 1: Gigi, Nichole, Lori, Natalie, me and Katie (my third roomie for the weekend).

6. Me, Sherri, Katie and Lori.

7. Another one of my favorite bloggers: the stunning Poppy of Funny Or Snot, who wasted no time staring at the enormous zit on my chin. Thanks for that!

8. Relax: My mantra for the weekend.

9. Every child’s fantasy; meeting Cookie Monster and Elmo.

10. How lucky was I to spend so much time with these lovely ladies?

11. Hearing Lori of In Pursuit Of It All read her glorious piece, The Red Underwear at the Voices of the Year ceremony was truly moving and a highlight of my weekend.

12. I was proud to wave (and wear) red panties!

13. Best. Night. Ever. I don’t get out and dance enough.

14. Yes, it’s true SurferWife is AMAZING is real life too and the Eyedews she was giving away like candy were the talk of BlogHer.

15. Katie of Slutier Nation and I had a little too much fun with mustaches.

16. A pre-screening of the movie, The Help courtesy of DreamWorks was a wonderful cherry on top of my weekend. I recommend this book to everyone and the movie did not disappoint. Plus, the theater was dark, quiet and cool and gave me a little time to reflect.

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Filed Under: blog conference, friends, photos, wordless wednesdays Tagged With: blog conference, friends, photos, wordless wednesdays

Aloha!

Posted on August 8, 2011 Written by Tonya

I’m back from vacation, home from BlogHer ’11, my mind is reeling and my heart is full. Oh, and I have a brand new blog design!

Over the next few days, I’ll be working with my amazing design and WordPress team (Kristi and Ashley and anyone else willing to help me!!) to work through the bugs and improve navigation, so please bear with me. I am so excited to be on WordPress, but know that it is going to take some time to learn a new platform.

Before I share my BlogHer ’11 experience, I want to share some highlights from our trip to Hawaii.

Our time in Maui was a lot of fun, but to be honest, a week is a long time to be away from home. Particularly with a toddler. Lucas did great on the flights there and back, but by Day 4 was starting to get ornery and talking about all of his favorite things back home, including his favorite babysitter. Gulp!

Here’s my high/low list, starting with the good stuff first!

  • The whole reason for our trip was to attend our friends Aaron and Paige’s wedding and it was absolutely beautiful! Two of only 40 guests, it was truly a pleasure to witness. On the beach. At sunset. Sigh…
  • Paige is a friend of Todd’s from college, so I got the opportunity to meet/make some new friends.
  • The bluest blues, greenest greens and warmest sunshine.

The view from our hotel room. Sigh!

  • Todd and I went snorkeling, one of our favorite things to do and saw beautiful fish and a turtle and then back in our hotel room, a large group of dolphins swimming right outside our window.

Yes, I am a huge dork!

  •  The bride and groom arranged for a morning yoga class on the beach that was amazing and reminded me how much I miss practicing.

Beach Yoga Bliss.

  • After much hesitation, I finally jumped off this cliff! I have never felt so old in my life, not to mention terrified.

Black Rock at Sheraton Maui.

Now for the not so great:

  • Even though we ordered a crib for our room, Lucas at 34″ would have nothing to do with it. He’s been in a “big boy bed” for four months, so I couldn’t blame him. On the other hand, he had to sleep somewhere and that ended up being right between Mommy and Daddy. None of us were used to this and therefore none of us slept very well the entire trip. Think arms in your face and swift kicks to your back.
  • We lost Lucas’ lovey somewhere between checking into our hotel and getting settled into our room. Luckily after searching everywhere and calling lost and found, it was recovered. NOTE TO SELF: Next trip, pack two, just in case!
  • A fire alarm woke us on our first night scaring Lucas half to death. I have never seen him so frightened. He was shaking and holding on to me tighter than anyone ever has and it took him a long time to get back to sleep. Lucas brought up the loud noise the rest of the trip. Poor buddy.
  • While on a boat ride and taking a self-roid family photo, Todd accidentally dropped his iPhone into the Pacific Ocean. He barely skipped a beat, where as if that had happened to me, I would have been crying like a baby! It’s situations like this that reinforce what a good match we are.
  • And speaking of photos, on Day 4 of our trip we discovered that 80+ photos had vanished from our camera. I’m still sick over this. I did my best to make up for it over the course of the rest of our trip, only to find out that all of the new photos disappeared too. Ugh!

The good outweighed the bad and for that I am grateful.  

Directly from Hawaii I headed to San Diego for BlogHer ’11. I’m still in the process of decompressing, unpacking, reconnecting with my family and laundry, but promise to share my thoughts on one of the best weekends ever soon!

Related Posts:

  • The Summer Of ’69
  • The Wedding
  • 10 Years Ago

Filed Under: friends, iphone, list, memories, photos, redesign, travel Tagged With: iphone, list. friends, memories, photos, redesign, travel, wedding

A Tot In Tow

Posted on July 26, 2011 Written by Tonya

Lucas’ first time on an airplane was August 14, 2009. He was just nine weeks old.

Lucas’ First Flight! SAN —> SJC en route to Monterrey.

Thank goodness my mother-in-law was with me to help out because Lucas had a blow out of the yucky disgusting nature (his one of only four EVER) mid-flight and I was stuck in the bathroom with him and left his diaper bag with a clean change of clothes back at my seat. Such a rookie move!

Even so, Lucas was A LOT easier to travel with back then (he used to sleep the entire flight) than he is now.

Since that first flight, I have flown solo to the Bay Area (an hour, 20 gate-to-gate) with Lucas a dozen times to visit my in-laws and Todd and I have taken him to Europe and Australia. At this point, I consider myself an expert at traveling with a tot in tow.

Now, having said that, as we are getting ready for our summer vacation, a week in Hawaii (!!), the thing I’m most stressed about is the flight there and back. 

Five hours in a confined space makes me crazy enough, but add an energetic toddler to the mix and it could be a nightmare.

I am not claiming to be an expert on any of this, but here’s what usually works for us: 

  • Book your flight for first thing in the morning, when children are usually at their best or around nap or bedtime, in hopes that they will sleep.
  • Before you even get to the airport, explain where you’re going and how you’re going to get there. Airports and airplanes can be scary for small children; there are lots of people scurrying about, long lines, loud noises, etc. 
  • Let your child be a part of the packing process. Allow them to pick out a couple of favorite items to bring on the plane in addition to having something stowed away in the suitcase to “meet” them at your destination.
  • Once at the airport, spend a lot of time walking around. You want to tire your child out and burn off some of that extra energy so they can sit still for some of the flight.   
  • Load up your iPhone, iPod, iPad or other favorite electronic device with photos and videos of your child. Lucas loves seeing footage of himself. Just don’t forget to completely charge your device! Many airports have outlets at the gate, so plug in before you board.
  • Download your child’s favorite television show to enjoy mid-flight. Most episodes of Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, Chuggington and Sesame Street are $1.99 – $2.99 each.
  • Download tried and true toddler-friendly apps, such as: Talking Tom Cat and Toddler Puzzle Shapes, which are both free and ABC Train and Voice Cards, which range from $.99 – $1.99 each.
  • Be sure to bring your child’s favorite snacks and lots of them. You never know if you might get stuck on the tarmac waiting for a gate or have an unexpected delay before even taking off.
  • Buy some inexpensive books and toys to introduce to your child during the flight but not all at once, spread them out and don’t forget to hold on to a couple of new items for the plane ride home. It’s very important that these are items your child hasn’t seen before. The Target dollar bins are great for this! Avoid anything that makes noise so as not to disrupt fellow passengers or items that are round, as they may roll down the aisles. I don’t like crayons or markers for this reason.
  • Make sure to pack an extra change of clothes, not only for your tot, but you too! At the very least, a clean t-shirt. Kids get messy, drinks spill and inevitably it all ends up on mom.   
  • It should go without saying, but carry extra diapers. Just before we got on the plane heading to Florence, I forgot to calculate our layover time in Paris and while I know European babies wear diapers too, I panicked fearing we wouldn’t have enough or be able to find them, so we scoured LAX looking for a small package. $20 (for 10!) later we were covered.  
  • Airports and airplanes are crawling with germs, so carry Wet-Ones and hand sanitizer and use them frequently while traveling. I wipe down the arm rests, the tray table and hands all through our trip.
  • And speaking of germs and other yucky stuff, pack a couple of zip-lock bags for soiled clothing in case your child throws up. No one wants to smell that! 
  • In my experience, the ground crew, TSA and flight attendants have always been very helpful. If you need help, just ask! Fellow passengers are typically sympathetic to your situation too, especially if you are traveling with your child alone and will help out if you need them too. 
  • If a flight attendant doesn’t offer, be sure to ask for a set of wings and if it’s your child’s first flight, most airlines have keepsake certificates.
  • If all of the above fails, go through the SkyMall catalog page by page together and look for pictures of cats and dogs. Trust me on this. And please remember, you aren’t ever going to see the people on your flight again, so whatever happens, happens. At least you did it!

I hope these tips help you prepare for your next flight with your child, and if you have any advice to share, let me know!

This is a post that I have been thinking about for a while and just hadn’t gotten around to writing, so a big thank you to Jessica of My Time As Mom for sending @camgosha of Bibs & Baubles my way on Twitter the other night seeking advice on traveling with children. I hope you had a great trip. 

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Related Posts:

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  • The Summer Of ’69
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Filed Under: grandparents, list, milestones, photos, travel Tagged With: advice, grandparents, list, milestones, photos, travel

Two Weeks From Today

Posted on July 13, 2011 Written by Tonya

I can’t wait! 

Two weeks from today, we are going to be in…

And yes, Lucas is coming too. 

Happy happy! Joy joy!


This post was written for Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop, Prompt 5.) On a piece of paper write down something that makes you happy…take a photo of your paper and voilà…there’s your post.

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Filed Under: happy thoughts, mama kat's writer's workshop, photos, travel, vacation Tagged With: happy thoughts, mama kat's writer's workshop, photos, travel, vacation

GNO

Posted on June 15, 2011 Written by Tonya

I have always been blessed to have a lot of friends in my life. Some of whom I would call as close as family ~ wonderful women that I confide in, trust, enjoy spending time with and without whom, I don’t know where or who I’d be.
I have friends from high school, friends from college, single friends, divorced friends, mommy friends, friends I gained through my first marriage, friends that I gained through my second marriage, colleagues that became friends, neighbors that became friends and one very dear friend, Sophie that lives clear across the globe.

I also have a ton of friends that I have never even met (yet), thanks to blogging and Twitter. 🙂

 

My core group of friends consists of five women I see on a regular basis… for play dates with our children, walks without them, lunch, happy hours, dinners and the occasional overnight escapes get-aways.

 
My friends and I like to celebrate each others birthdays in big ways, usually involving a trip. My husband always gives me a hard time about it, but if we didn’t, there’s a chance I never would have met him. More on that in a later post… 
Anyway, my last girl’s night out was last weekend, on an overnight in Palm Springs! We celebrating Lisa’s birthday, my beautiful underwater friend above. In fact, all the photos used in this post were taken over the weekend. 
We did what all good friends do; laughed, drank, ate a lot of mini cupcakes, talked about our kids, our jobs, our families, our spouses, or lack there of and had a great time. I’m already looking forward to our group’s next birthday… mine!
Apart from my friends, I’ve even luckier that my husband understands how important my friendships are. 
This post was written for Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop, Prompt 1.) Girls Night Out! Describe the last time you got to hang out with your friends. What stops you from doing this more often?

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Filed Under: friends, mama kat's writer's workshop, me time, photos, sophie Tagged With: friends, mama kat's writer's workshop, me time, photos, sophie

I Survived My First Blogging Conference!

Posted on March 22, 2011 Written by Tonya

Armed with my fresh off the press blog cards, comfortable shoes, a light weight sweater, a fully charged iPhone (that only lasted until noon), a notebook, pen (that was out of ink by noon), a firm hand shake and a smile, I attended my first blogging conference, Bloggy Boot Camp on Saturday.

I loved the intimate round tables, the seating assignments, the view of the ocean from our seats and the very informative speakers…

I enjoyed listening to the adorable Ashley Stock (Little Miss Momma), whose blog is barely a year old (!) share tips and tricks suitable for any and every new blogger.

I appreciated what Anna Vielle’s (ABDPBT.com) had to say about Social Capital (your metrics and demographics) vs. Trust Capital (staying true to yourself and your voice, i.e. not selling out).

Mama Mary’s presentation was all about incorporating videos to your blog, which is something I might try with Letters For Lucas some day after she made it look so easy. NOT!

But it was DeNae Handy (My Real Life was on Backorder) and Mama Kat (Mama’s Losin’ It) that stole the show for me!

DeNae’s kind nature and wit make her an absolute joy to listen to. I wish she was my neighbor so that she could help me with my writing, maybe babysit Lucas form time to time and I bet she’s a real hoot after a glass of wine. She shared so many writing tips and good things for us all to remember that I have to share some here:

Your readers are people. Your readers are you. Write for you and you write for your readers.

Read, read, read… just as singer sing, writers write in language that speaks to them.

 Make sure it is your story to tell.

The Internet lives forever! Be careful what you put out there. People are more important than a punchline.

Generosity plays well on the Internet. Support, support and support some more.

And Mama Kat, well, she’s just awesome and I must have told her nine times (shaking my head in complete and utter embarrassment).I came away inspired and encouraged by this amazing group of women PLUS, I met the incredible writers behind Mandyland, San Diego Momma and BernThis!

I have a list of things I can do to improve my blog and my writing and I have a ton of new friends to boot.It was Ashley that started the day by saying, You have a story, You have a voice. You deserve to be here and those words resonated with me throughout the conference and today. There may be 4 million mommy bloggers, but only one Letters For Lucas.

A HUGE big thank you to our hosts, the SITS Girls, Tiffany and Francesca for putting on a terrific conference.

Thank you too, to Morgan, (The Little Hen House) who is my friend in real life and was kind enough to help a sister out by lending me her phone charger and a pen.

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Filed Under: blog, blog conference, friends, mama kat's writer's workshop, photos Tagged With: blog, blog conference, friends, photos

Life Can Change In An Instant

Posted on March 11, 2011 Written by Tonya

For more than two minutes Friday, the most powerful earthquake ever recorded in Japan shook apart homes and buildings, cracked open highways and made skyscrapers sway.

Then came a devastating tsunami that slammed into northeastern Japan and killed hundreds of people.

The 8.9 magnitude offshore earthquake struck at 2:46 PM local time and is the biggest to hit Japan since record-keeping began in the late 1800s.

It ranks as the fifth-largest earthquake in the world since 1900.

The images on television and the Internet are devastating and heartbreaking and show the very worst side of Mother Nature.

Today, my thoughts go out to everyone affected by this terrible disaster.

If you are feeling generous and would like to help the earthquake and tsunami victims, please visit this list of charities or do what I did and text REDCROSS to 90999 to make a $10 contribution.

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Filed Under: current events, donation, internet, photos, TV Tagged With: current events, donation, internet, photos, TV

Long Live The 80’s!

Posted on February 22, 2011 Written by Tonya

My fabulous friend, Colleen turned 40 on Saturday and threw herself an 80’s-style prom party. It was an absolute blast!!

Everyone dressed up! There was lots of neon, lace, big bows, arms full of bracelets, skinny ties, flipped up collars, leg warmers and pearls. Even the 80’s cover band, that provided enough dance music to last a lifetime, Orange County’s own, Tijuana Dogs got into the spirit.

All of my girlfriends and I have been fretting about our “prom” attire for months and it turned out for many, Ebay was the way to go. Who knew?

I, on the other hand, being the pack rat that I am still have my ACTUAL Jessica McClintock prom dress! With a little alteration to the bust line, I wore it! Crazy, huh?! I couldn’t believe it still fit either. Or that I even kept it!

I tried to mimic my 80’s hair style: big and curly and make-up: blue eyeliner and mascara. Although naturally curly, my hair doesn’t quite take a curl like it used to. Even with half a canister of mousse.

The cast of characters may have changed, hopefully we are all a little wiser. There were way more beer bellies, wedding rings and crow’s feet this time around, but the music is still the same, my friends make the world a better place and I found myself wishing the party would last All Night Long, just like I did at my high school Senior prom.

THENMy prom date was my boyfriend at the time. He had just given me the watch I’m wearing as a graduation present. Lovely gift, but looks so out of place now.


NOW

Colleen and I and our rad dates.

The birthday girl and Matt, the Tijuana Dogs lead singer.

Does this pose look familiar?

Feels just like 1988!

The totally awesome birthday cake!

I must admit, I had WAY more fun at this prom than at my own back in ’91. Maybe it was the alcohol or the music, the company or the pure nostalgia of it all, but everyone had a permanent grin on their face the entire night and my legs still hurt from dancing!

One of the best parts of the whole evening was being dropped off by Todd’s mother, who was in town visiting us for the weekend.

She waited up for us too!

This post was originally for Wordful Wednesdays and if you want to link up or see some really beautiful photographs, please visit Alicia at A Beautiful Mess and see how she effortlessly turns ordinary photos into a works of art.

This post was reposted for Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop, Prompt 4.) My prom dress.

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Filed Under: birthdays, clothes, date night, friends, grandparents, mama kat's writer's workshop, memories, music, photos, TDA bio, wordful wendesdays Tagged With: birthdays, clothes, date night, friends, grandparents, mama kat's writer's workshop, memories, music, photos, prom, TDA bio, wordful wednesdays

Anywhere But Here

Posted on January 19, 2011 Written by Tonya

Today I want to be here. A half a world away. With nothing but blue skies and a warm sun.

Far from the worries, responsibilities, sadness and stresses in my life.

Just for today.

This photo was taken in New Caledonia in May, 2010 with my best friend, Sophie at my side.

This post is for Wordless Wednesdays and if you want to link up or see some really beautiful photographs, visit Alicia at A Beautiful Mess.
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Filed Under: photos, sophie, travel, wordless wednesdays Tagged With: photos, sophie, travel, wordless wednesdays

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