#30daysofgratitude

Worth The Wait

Posted on November 20, 2013 Written by Tonya

Around the fifth month of pregnancy, the “nesting” stage sets in. This uncontrollable urge to clean one’s house and prepare for a new baby includes tying up loose ends and kicking into über organization mode. It’s a burst of energy and can lead to some pretty irrational thinking, or so I’m told. I’m well past this stage and have been fighting it for weeks because I have nothing to nest…. yet (we move this weekend!!).

People, I’m kind of going crazy.

I’m beyond excited to move, but my mind is reeling!!

In fact, my dear sweet husband calmly pointed out recently that I’m not losing it, I’ve lost it.

He’s right.

While I have had the best pregnancy, my hormones are completely out of whack right now and everything is rubbing me the wrong way, my expectations are higher than ever, I’m on edge, have a To Do list a mile long, the holidays are fast approaching, which sends me into a tail spin every year, I haven’t had an uninterrupted night of sleep in days due to a cough I just can’t shake and I have officially entered the waddle stage of my pregnancy.

We had a family/maternity photo shoot two weekends ago and our photographer and friend, Tereza gently reminded me how far we’ve come to have this baby and hearing this was equal parts satisfying, humbling and exciting, not to mention tremendously bittersweet.

I believe she captured all that and more. Thank you, Tereza from the bottom of my heart.

All photos taken by Tereza Harper – November 10, 2013

When Todd and I decided to grow our family, we thought it would be easy, just like when we had Lucas – have sex and get pregnant. Little did we know the journey that we were in store for. Ultimately, it made us a stronger couple and family and we have learned to love more deeply and cherish our gifts. Somewhere in the back on my mind, I knew it would all be worth it in the end.

All photos taken by Tereza Harper – November 10, 2013

The longer you wait for something the more you appreciate it when you get it because anything worth having is always worth the wait – Unknown

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Day 20: Today I’m grateful for people with whom I vehemently disagree but can always have a good, respectful debate that never feels personal or resentful. It’s all about keeping an open mind and listening. #30daysofgratitude

Collecting Seashells

Posted on November 19, 2013 Written by Tonya

I have said it before and I’ll say it again, being a mother is the toughest job I have ever had and I’ve had some crummy jobs.

It’s thankless and tiresome and sometimes so frustrating I want to scream, gauge my eyes out and curl up in the fetal position and cry. It’s also rewarding in ways I never thought possible and has taught me so many valuable lessons about love and life and the world around me.

But I digress…

When my husband travels, motherhood is the absolute hardest.

Honest to God, I don’t know how single parents or parents with deployed spouses do it. I suppose they have no choice, so they just do.

Just like Lucas and I have the past five days…. Five days of breakfasts, lunches, dinners, snacks, arguing over screen time, bath time, potty talk, picking up toys and getting shoes on. Five days filled with soccer practice, park visits, hours of games and books, reminders to wash hands and brush teeth, one super fun play date, three viewings of Peter Pan and a beautiful afternoon at the beach collecting seashells.

It was when I finally kicked off my shoes, took a deep breath and got sand under my nails digging for shells with my son that I realized, five days is nothing, I’ve totally got this and I have a great kid! These moments of it just being the two of us are fleeting so I should stop counting down the hours until bedtime and enjoy it.

I may have continued to look at the clock a little more than usual, but we made it through virtually unscathed.

Each time Todd is out of town, I appreciate all that he does to help raise our son, care for our dog, keep our household running smoothly and help my sanity by sharing all of our responsibilities. I am so grateful to have a parenting partner, someone to share the duties, challenges and most of all the love. ______________________________________________________________________________

Day 18: Today I give thanks to my life partner in crime and in all matters of the heart, my husband. I don’t know how (or why) he has put up with me all these years, but I’m glad he has. I love him with all my heart. #30daysofgratitude

November Is Carbon Monoxide Awareness Month: Keep Your Family Safe

Posted on November 17, 2013 Written by Tonya

The last time I saw my parents alive was the day after my wedding, Sunday, August 5, 2007.

Sometime between Friday, October 12, 2007 at 8:00 PM and Saturday, October 13, 2007 at 8:00 AM they died of carbon monoxide poisoning.

A faulty water heater in their kitchen emitted carbon monoxide into their home and killed them.

They were 61 and 58 respectively… too young to die.

November is Carbon Monoxide Awareness month in California, but frankly it should be throughout the world. Every day should be.

I implore you to make sure your home and all of your loved ones homes have a working carbon monoxide detector/alarm. You can get one as low as $18.00 at Home Depot. If you do not have a CO detector and comment on and share this post, I will personally purchase one for you. If you do have one, please make sure the batteries are still good. We change ours every time the time changes.

As of July 1, 2011 state law requires owners of single family homes with attached garages to install carbon monoxide alarms in every California home. In addition, all other dwellings, like apartments, were required to have an alarm as of January 1, 2013.

Carbon monoxide is a silent killer, each year claiming the lives of an average of 480 people and sending more than 20,000 people to emergency rooms across the nation.

Carbon monoxide (CO) is a colorless, odorless gas that is produced from heaters, fireplaces, furnaces, and many types of appliances and cooking devices. The best way for homeowners to stay protected from CO is to have a carbon monoxide alarm installed on every floor and outside each sleeping area. A recent study found that nearly nine in 10 California households did not have a CO alarm. Having a CO alarm is a small investment that can truly help save your life and the lives of your family.

The dangers of CO are real, please keep your family and friends safe.

For more information on carbon monoxide visit the CAL FIRE Web site. _______________________________________________________

Day 17: I’m thankful for silence, peace and quiet, a place where I can find healing, listen to my deepest intuition and hear the wise whispers of the divine. Shhhh…. #30daysofgratitude

Dotting I’s & Crossing T’s

Posted on November 14, 2013 Written by Tonya

We’ve been reading the books, reminiscing about when he was a baby, letting him pick out onesies, answering and asking a lot of questions, visiting friends with newborns and talking about how things are going change, but no matter how hard we try to dot all the i’s and cross all the t’s, nothing can truly prepare our household for a baby or Lucas to be a big brother.

After learning from a good friend that there was such a thing as a Sibling Preparation Class, I promptly took to the Web and signed up Lucas.

I figured it couldn’t hurt for him to hear from someone other than Mommy and Daddy how to be helpful, patient and careful with his baby sister, our baby, as we call her. Lucas even got a lesson in swaddling and diaper changing.

Seeing the gleam in his eyes as he shared with the instructor how he has seen our baby doing somersaults on a computer screen in the doctor’s office made my night, but I especially loved how he suggested that someday his little sister attend a sibling class of her own so that she can learn how to be a good sibling too. My smart little firstborn.

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Day 14: Today I am thankful for my husband’s successful business, European Collectibles on PCH, a classic car dealership. It is his dream realized and our livelihood and today is celebrating its three year anniversary! #30daysofgratitude

Six Must-Have Pregnancy Items

Posted on November 12, 2013 Written by Tonya

For me, along with a growing belly comes swollen feet and legs, an achy back and bizarre cravings for lemons and baked goods. I know, right? But, that’s about it. I’m lucky and don’t get the nausea, heartburn or hemorrhoids.

When it comes to pregnancy, I don’t know why I have been so blessed to have such an easy go at it, but I could not go through this experience without sharing a few of my favorite pregnancy items.

Sure, a great support system and caring team of doctors is important, as are prenatal vitamins, a healthy, well-balanced diet, equal parts exercise and rest and pretty much a whole new wardrobe are essential, but these are my six must-haves for a successful, more comfortable nine months.

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1. Belly cream. My favorite is Bella B Tummy Honey Stretchmark Prevention Butter. It smells delish, feels luxurious and helps prevent stretch marks and itching. LOVE LOVE LOVE!!

2. Proper fitting undergarments. I have grown a full cup size and then some and my go-to bras are Victoria’s Secret’s Body By Victoria, which offers super full coverage, lots of colors to choose from and are available in both under-wire and wireless. Totally worth the price tag.

3. Cheese. Better known as the Babies R Us Pregnancy Wedge Cushion Pillow. If you’re not ready or willing to spend $80+ on a full body pillow, this is the perfect alternative for that extra belly, legs, and hip support you need in order to get a better night’s sleep.

4. My iPhone. I use it to keep track of what my body and baby are doing with awesome apps like Baby Bump and What To Expect: Pregnancy and to pass the time while waiting and waiting and waiting in doctors offices.

5. Compression socks. One yucky side effect I have been experiencing is a lot of pressure in my legs and some minor blood clotting at the end of the day and although they are ugly as sin, Futuro Energizing Ultra Sheer Knee Highs do help.

6. Pampering. Once a month (sometimes more) I get mani/pedis and prenatal massages. Anything that makes me stop and forces me to relax is a very good thing.

What helped you get through your pregnancy?

None of the companies mentioned above endorsed this blog post in any way, I received no free swag for writing this and all opinions expressed are 100% my own, but if Victoria’s Secret picks up on this, I would not turn down a gift card!

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Day 12: Today I am grateful for a good night’s rest. I spent half of last night coughing my lungs out and with a newborn baby on the way, severe sleep deprivation is too and it helps me appreciate the value and luxury of a full eight hours of sleep, glorious sleep. Are you getting enough Zzzzz’s? #30daysofgratitude

Sick

Posted on November 11, 2013 Written by Tonya

I love everything about being pregnant except being sick.

Okay, nobody enjoys being sick, but I especially do not enjoy being sick. In fact, I hate it!! I don’t have time for anything that slows me down. Not now. Not ever. Well, especially not now… this is critical Mommy/Lucas bonding time and I need to be on my A-game, do my share of packing (we move in 11 days!) and rock my third trimester.

Being sick sets me back.

Being sick turns me into a not nice person.

Being sick sucks.

Being sick and seven months pregnant really sucks.

Being sick, seven months pregnant and not able to take anything stronger than Tylenol or Robitussin and having a preschooler, REALLY, REALLY sucks!!

I am not a good sick person, if there even is such a thing.

I am currently battling my THIRD cold/flu/yuck in two months and I got a flu shot. A lot of good that did me, but my OB would not let me leave her office without one. She also made me promise that my husband and son would get one too. They did and they haven’t been sick.

So unfair.

Ugh.

This is what my last five days have looked like:

I’m not looking for any sympathy or anything.

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Day 11: I am grateful for veterans, for they are responsible for all of the freedoms we enjoy today. #30daysofgratitude

California Love

Posted on November 6, 2013 Written by Tonya

California became the 31st state on September 9, 1850.

I’ve lived in Southern California for almost 18 years and I love it! I wish the cost of living wasn’t so high and there were fewer people on the freeways, but I can’t imagine living anywhere else in country. Here are 8 reasons I love California:

1. 840 miles of breathtaking coastline.

2. California has to be one of the few places where you never have to leave to experience every other culture. San Francisco, Vallejo-Fairfield and Stockton are the top three most diverse cities in the country and Los Angeles is home to the largest Thai Town, Little Tokyo, Little Ethiopia, and San Francisco has the biggest China Town.

3. According to The Wine Institute, there are nearly 4000 wineries in California and Californian wines out-rank all other wine-making places. Rich and full-bodied, light and fruity, deep red to crystal white, the wines produced here are outstanding!

4. Disneyland. Enough said.

5. One day you can be snowboarding, the next laying on a beautiful beach working on your tan and the day after that enjoying the desert. Depending on your mood and desired activity, you can have any setting imaginable.

6. The weather! Southern California averages 35 days a year with measurable rain. The rest of the time? Nothing but sunshine!! It’s November 6 and while some people are seeing first snow falls and using their heaters, it was 80 degrees here today.

Enjoying a Fall day at one of our favorite parks in San Diego – November 6, 2013

7. Hollywood, the epicenter American film.

8. My husband was born and raised here and I am glad that my son was and will be too!

Not that I need more reasons to love Cali, but if you do, these are some gorgeous photos of my state: 32 Reasons California Is The Most Beautiful State In The Country.

This post was written for Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop, Prompt 4.) List 8 best reasons you love living in your state.

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Day 6: I’m thankful for doggie day care places like The Bone Adventure that put up with our pooch er, I mean, look after our beloved pet while Lucas and I have a fun outing! #30daysofgratitude

Sibling Love

Posted on November 5, 2013 Written by Tonya

I always wanted a big brother, someone to look up to besides my parents, team up with against our parents and have look over me with an extra protective eye. I wanted an in-house best friend, secret keeper, rival and real life yard stick to which all boyfriends would have to measured up to.

I wished for a sibling for years and years before my sister was finally born. We are close, but the almost 12 year age gap between us has been challenging at times. When our parents died I could not have imagined going through that on my own. My sister is the only one that truly understands and shares that grief with me.

I wanted a second child for Lucas, a sibling close to his age, someone to bond with for life, grow up beside and in the event that anything ever happens to me or his dad, someone to help bear the burden and be sad with.

There is no doubt in my mind that Lucas is going to be an amazing big brother. He is already so conscientious about his little sister’s arrival, constantly thinking about her and asking if we should purchase this item or that for her, sharing what he plans to teach her once she’s here and asking questions about what she may be like.

This is his first drawing of his sibling. She’s all eyes, cheeks and smile. And those are her “little legs peeking out of her blanket”.

Swoon…

“A sibling may be the sole keeper of one’s core identity, the only person with the keys to one’s unfettered, more fundamental self.” – Marian Sandmaier

Day 5: Sunflowers… They’re big, bright, striking and always make me smile. #30daysofgratitude

Almost Ours

Posted on November 4, 2013 Written by Tonya

I had an amazing childhood. My parents worked in American International schools and I got to live in many different parts of the world. I loved moving from country to country, meeting interesting people, experiencing unique cultures, customs and foods, but there was always a part of me that wished we could have stayed put for a while, built roots and had a home base.

And this house?

This is the house I wish I had grown up in.

This is the house that my husband and I will raise our family in.

This house is almost ours.

After eight l o n g months, our days of apartment living are finally coming to an end!!

Our new home has four bedrooms, including an in-law suite (!), three bathrooms, one of which is a Jack and Jill bathroom that I have always dreamed of, a gorgeous walk-in closet, a custom dog run for Charlie Pasta, a nice size yard and is back in the neighborhood we want to be in. Time for us to payback on play dates, dinners and holiday gatherings!

We are so excited, grateful and relieved we found something just in time for baby girl’s arrival.

The next few weeks are going to be crazy busy with packing, unpacking, decorating for the holidays, gearing up for baby and making this house our home. I can’t wait!!

Day 4: There are many, many things I won’t miss about apartment life, but topping the list is not having an assigned parking spot. I will not miss circling our complex after a late night event, holding my breath and cursing to myself trying to find a spot, or having to park half a mile away. I can’t wait to have a driveway and a garage again! Seriously, it’s the little things. #30daysofgratitude

A Month Of Gratitude: #30daysofgratitude

Posted on November 1, 2013 Written by Tonya

Imagine a world where we woke up with a heart full of gratitude. Expressing our gratitude out loud and feeling blessed for another day on earth; our good fortune, our health, children, jobs, spouses, friends or simply having a few quiet moments to sit and read. It’s such a simple thing and yet we take so much for granted.

Although we should express our gratitude daily, throughout the month of November, I’ll be sharing one thing each day on my Letters for Lucas Facebook page that I appreciate. At the end of each blog post, I’ll share that day’s note of thanks.

Please join me and if you do, use the hashtag: #30daysofgratitude. Sometimes it’s hard to see the good, especially when bad things happen and you are unhappy with certain aspects of your life, but I hope this month you can focus on being grateful and all the things that make you smile.

Day 1: I’m thrilled to be pregnant, grateful for modern medicine and can’t wait to meet Lucas’s little sister!

Worth The Wait

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