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A Letter To Santa

Posted on November 29, 2011 Written by Tonya

I am so excited to have one of my favorite bloggers here today with a letter to Santa!

This week’s Letters For You guest is the incomparable, Gigi, also known as Kludgy Mom.

Gigi is one of the most knowledgeable and generous bloggers I know and I’m proud to call her a friend and practically a neighbor. Okay, not really, but she does live in the same state and I am going to see her in the flesh very soon. Right, Gigi?!

Dear Santa,

Let me start this letter by saying thank you for granting all of my wishes from last year’s Christmas. Well, most of them anyway. I’m still waiting for you to eliminate the wrinkles on my face and the fat balls on my thighs. What’s the deal? Do you consider cosmetic items too vain?

So let’s get to this year’s list.

Gigi’s 2012 Christmas List

1. I wish that my children would give a crap when there is dirt under their fingernails and toenails. Also, that they would give a crap about flushing the toilet and not leaving toothpaste blobs the size of Kim Kardashian’s ass on the bathroom counter.

2. I wish that you could take care of that noxious smell that comes out of my elderly dog.

3. I have a few reality TV wishes. I wish that you could tell Mark Burnett to move Survivor back to Thursday nights. This whole Wednesday night thing really throws me off. Also, tell the producers of The Amazing Race to stop putting ex-Survivor cast members on their show. It’s getting old. Can you tell Padma Lakshmi of Top Chef to stop talking like she has a giant piece of salami shoved between her top front teeth and the inside of her lip? And what can we do about Giggy on the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills? Because that dog bugs.

4. I would appreciate very much if you could have that PR person for Avon stop sending me requests to publicize their really odd singing contest.

5. I wish that our neighbor across the street, who my husband has affectionately dubbed Hillbilly Bob, would only park 3 cars in front of our house each night instead of the current 6. If this is not doable, can you please have one of the 6 cars “accidentally” run over our other neighbor’s Basset Hound, who howls mournfully nonstop from sunup to sundown? Thanks.

6. I wish that pedicures would last forever, my roots didn’t need constant touching up, there was one pair of jeans in the universe that fit me well, and there was no need – ever – for a bikini wax.

7. I wish that you could arrange for there to be no more Elves on the Shelves. I’ve already disappointed my children and dashed their Christmas hopes by forgetting to move Mr. Snowflake last night. I simply can’t handle the pressure of moving that damn thing every night for a month. Plus, the elf is creepy. Also, why are his legs glued together? He should be poseable, like Gumby. Or Barbie, but without the boobs.

8. I wish that my husband would just get the idea that I love presents and that even if he doesn’t want a present on a holiday, I still do. And I want it to be fabulous (meaning, not wrapped in a Wal-Mart bag).

Well, Santa, I guess that’s it for this year. I hope you don’t think I’m greedy. I tried to keep my list to only the bare essentials. I know you’re really busy, so, feel free to skip getting my kids anything this year so you can devote time to my list. I’m sure they won’t mind!

Hugs and Kisses,
Gigi

Crush

Posted on November 15, 2011 Written by Tonya

It’s inevitable.

Bound to happen, as it does to all of us.

For some, it happens sooner rather than later. Much later.

I was in the second grade.

His name was (and is, we are now Facebook friends) Scott Brewer.

Lucas has been in preschool since August and has adjusted very well. He attends three days a week for three hours each day.

He’s braved the last 10 days without a lovey. This is HUGE!

He loves his teacher and has made friends. I have to smile when upon arriving each day how many of classmates greet him.

I have a roster of all the children in his class and we review it daily.

There are 24 boys and girls in Room 2, but only one that makes him light up like a Christmas tree.

Her name is Sophia.

Some Days

Posted on November 11, 2011 Written by Tonya

Some days the sadness wins and you just can’t fight it.

Some days the questions outweigh the answers.

Some days there are more tears than smiles.

Some days it would be so much easier to pull the covers way up over your head and stay in bed all day long.

Some days holding on to the past is more comfortable than being in the present or looking forward.

Some days the thought of looking anyone in the eye is too much to bear.

Some days all you feel like doing is curling up with a box of donuts and throwing yourself a pity party.

Some days your spirit is so broken that you can’t remember the last time you laughed.

Some days feel so completely out of control that all you can do is breathe from one moment into the next.

Some days there are not enough distractions and too many memories.

Some days, thankfully, there is this:

Some days are better than others.

If you find yourself in hell, keep going. – Winston Churchill

Proud Mommy Moments

Posted on October 27, 2011 Written by Tonya

Almost 28 months into this mommy gig and Lucas has single-handedly made angrier than I’ve ever been, tried my patience in ways I didn’t think were possible, made me happier and than I ever believed I could be and has had me bursting with pride, joy and love.

On this roller coaster ride, he is the boss and he is my heart.

Please follow me to The Kir Corner to read about my Proudest Mommy Moments.

Thank you, Kirsten for asking me to be a part of your wonderful series and for being a good friend. Your recent love and support mean the world to me and I’m honored to have you in my corner. xoxo

I Have

Posted on October 26, 2011 Written by Tonya

I am 39 years old and I have:

1. Jumped out of an airplane (tandem).

2. Been on a safari in Kenya.

3. Climbed a pyramid in Egypt.

4. Gone to the airport to meet friends and family when they’ve had layovers.

5. Lent money to someone and never expected it back.

6. Drank milk out of the carton.

7. Taken Lucas to Disneyland by myself. TWICE!

8. Lived in a perpetual state of missing someone.

9. Walked across the Golden Gate Bridge.

3-Day Walk, San Francisco - October, 2010

10. Fell in love with the Eiffel Tower the very first time I saw it. I was 10 and have been blessed to have seen five more times.

11. Been voted “Best Groomed” in high school. What am I a dog?

12. Earned an Outstanding Customer Service award.

13. Delivered a child with no drugs. By choice.

14. Cried myself to sleep.

15. Seen the Dave Matthews Band in concert two dozen times.

I heart DMB!

16. Been to a movie by myself.

18. Thrown a surprise party.

19. Been in three car accidents. All my fault.

Accident #3, 2008

20. Gotten ooey gooey weak in the knees when my husband smiles at me.

21. Stayed up WAY past my bedtime. Nightly.

22. Three tattoos.

This post was written for Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop, Prompt 1.) Last week we wrote about what we have never done… (Check out my I Never list here.) this week write a list of 22 things you HAVE done. (inspired by Sellabit Mom)

Dear Sherri

Posted on October 25, 2011 Written by Tonya

It’s no secret that I adore Sherri and her blog, Old Tweener.

Sherri is the mother I hope to be someday and she writes the way I hope to write someday. Her words are moving and eloquent, pull at my heart strings and make me appreciate every moment I have right now with Lucas. She reminds me that childhood is fleeting and children grow up way too fast.

I am thankful that I can call Sherri a friend and I am so pleased to have her here today with a beautiful letter to herself on the day she became a mother.

May 28, 1994

Dear Sherri,

Today was an amazing day in your life: the day you became a mother for the first time. We haven’t met yet, but we have a lot to talk about.

You see, I am the mother you will be after almost 18 years of parenting.

That baby boy in your arms right now seems so fragile, so helpless, and incredibly needy. Don’t worry; you’ll figure him out pretty quickly. In time, you will get to know him so well that you can almost read his mind.

Until he’s a teenager, anyway.

Once he starts talking, he will rarely stop. In fact, many of your days with him will seem like one very long question. But please listen to him, answer his questions as best you can, and really try to soak up these moments when he’s so chatty and inquisitive.

Even when you want to stock up on earplugs and convince him that the dog is smart enough to answer his science questions.

Because when he moves on to college one day his words will be few. A funny text every few days, maybe a phone call on Sundays; his voice deep and full of joy.

And you will be glad you listened when you did.

Kiss him and hug him; tickle his little feet and hold his chubby little hands. Blow some raspberries on his round little tummy and nibble on his soft baby neck.

Once he’s too old for this you will wish you’d done it more.

When he’s older, hugs will be replaced by high-fives and pats on the back, at least in public.

Those eighteen years will pass in a heartbeat or two.

Today in the hospital, as you hold that sweet little bundle in your arms I realize it’s hard to understand this part. But your job as his mother is to make yourself obsolete. Nurture him, teach him, and love him relentlessly.

But prepare to let him go.

And then do it.

Because when you do send him off to college one day he will be fine on his own. He will be able to solve his own problems; right his wrongs, make decisions, and find his own way.

And he’ll be so ready for it.

You will be fine, too…trust me, I know this for a fact now.

So get back to learning how to be a mother, how to read his cries, and what he needs from you. Be patient because it’s going to take some time.

But it’s going to seem like it took no time at all.

Love,

Sherri

We Remembered

Posted on October 18, 2011 Written by Tonya

We remembered.

We avoided eye contact at first.

We got dressed and put on make-up.

We went to brunch and toasted with champagne.

We enjoyed a little retail therapy and indulged in sweet treats. Both helped for a little while.

We received dozens of beautiful flowers and at least a 100 of other tokens of love and well wishes throughout the day in the form of phone calls, text messages, Facebook and Twitter posts. Each one helped immensely.

We listened to their favorite music and smiled.

We talked about the year ahead and what they would be missing.

We drew animals and painted shapes with Lucas and giggled.

We sat around the dining room table and devoured the comfort food my husband prepared. There were more toasts.

We looked through the sympathy cards we were sent four years ago. Many I had not read before. All of them heartfelt.

We went to a movie and sat side by side in the dark and laughed in all the same places.

We hugged.

We cried.

We remembered.

Another anniversary come and gone.

The Hole In My Heart

Posted on October 14, 2011 Written by Tonya

October used to mean feeling Fall in the air and spying Halloween merchandise on every aisle at the supermarket and being greeted by big shinny round pumpkins with glowing smiles on my neighbors front porches.

October meant the nights were getting longer and the air a little cooler. Not quite flannel jammies time, but close.

Conversations about how to spend Thanksgiving begin and Christmas shopping lists are started in October.

Now October has a new meaning.

In particular October 15, but the days leading up to it and the days preceding are tough too.

October 15 used to have no significance to me at all, just another day on the calendar.

Now it marks the anniversary of my parents’ death.

Today they have been gone for four years. 1460 days. It’s hard to believe it has been that long.

I dread the anniversary the most; more than their birthdays, more than Christmas, more than Mother’s Day, Father’s Day or their anniversary. The day I was notified my parents had died was the worst day and every October 15, I relive it. And every year I think it’s going to be a little easier, and it’s not.

I’ll never forgot sitting in my friend Suzy’s kitchen two weeks after the memorial service and watching her eyes fill with tears as she talked about her own father’s passing as if it happened the day before. He had died 30 years earlier.

In some ways this was strangely comforting to me; knowing I wasn’t alone in my grieve for a lost loved one and in other ways it made me even sadder than I already was. I realized this wasn’t something I was going to “get over”, I realized that death is as permanent as grieve and I would have to learn to live with this emptiness, the loss and the hole that was now forever in my heart.

I would have to live with the sadness each and every October and all the days in between.

Catalina Island, July 2005

One good thing occurred on October 15, 2008 on the one year anniversary, I told my sister I was six weeks pregnant with Lucas.

The Summer That Was

Posted on September 1, 2011 Written by Tonya

If Memorial Day marks the beginning of summer, Labor Day marks the end.

Sigh…

Here are our summer highlights:

We celebrated someone turning two with a bounce house party and someone else (gulp) turning 39 on a Duffy boat. Both parties included cupcakes!

There were toes in the sand, afternoons spent in wet bathing suits and sun screen applied almost daily.

There were trips to the park, sweet treats devoured and rainbows found while sailing on the ocean.

We had fun at the circus, on the water pad at Legoland and met idols at Disneyland.

There was a girls’ weekend in Palm Springs, a blog conference in San Diego and a glorious week in Hawaii.

Lucas started school and we have already proudly covered our refrigerator with adorable art work.

There was a visit to Grandma and Grandpa’s house and a mini roller coaster ride with fearless cousins.

It was a great summer, full of milestones and memories.

Wishing everyone a happy and safe Labor Day weekend!

Top 10 Best Things About Going To Disneyland Without Children

Posted on August 28, 2011 Written by Tonya

1. No diaper bag to pack.

2. No maneuvering a stroller throughout the park.

3. Not having to ride It’s a Small World, Dumbo the Flying Elephant, King Arthur’s Carrousel, Mad Tea Party, or anything else that’s slow and safe and clearly made for people under three feet tall.

4. Not having to stand in ridiculously long lines to meet Mickey, Minnie, Goofy or any other character.

5. No over-priced souvenirs to purchase.

6. No temper tantrums, melt downs or crying fits due to heat, hunger, lack of patience, sweet treats or exhaustion.

7. Staying way after dark.

8. Other moms that have a Disneyland Passport!

9. Feeling 15 again, as I my laugh with glee on Tower of Terror, Space Mountain, California Screamin’ and Indian Jones Adventure.

10. Capturing pictures like this:

This post was inspired by Stasha’s Monday Listicles, a linky right up my alley!

A Letter To Santa

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Some Days

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Dear Sherri

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