gifts

Loving & Loathing The Holidays

Posted on December 15, 2014 Written by Tonya

This is a hard time of year for many people.

Myself included.

From the week before Thanksgiving through January 1, I waver between being on the verge of a complete panic attack, find myself anxious and excited with everything there is to do to prepare for the big days ahead, feel tempted to stick a fork in my eye over complete frustration, exhibit weepy and melancholy behavior over people I miss, how pretty all the lights are and the kindness of strangers, I’m more exhausted during the holiday season than any other time of year and I am filled with a sense of blissful happiness. During this time frame, I can go through this cycle on a daily basis.

I’m a mess.

I simultaneously love and loathe the holidays.

Pulling three bins of Christmas crap out of the garage and untangling lights is the worst. Lola’s mild but curious interest in the tree and ornaments? Magical.

The hunt for the perfect gift, piles and piles of presents, marathon wrapping sessions and ribbon paper cuts? I loathe it all! The look on their faces when they open your gift = AWESOME!

Baking with Lucas? Yes, please! Eating half a dozen cookies and having to workout a little harder… BLAH!!

The daily To Do list? No, thanks. Crossing items off, however, feels great.

Spending time with friends doing holiday related activities? Love it.

Receiving beautiful holiday cards in the mail? J’adore! Picking a decent family photo, designing a card, addressing and stamping 200 envelopes… not so much.

The Elf of the Shelf? The jury is still out, but we are definitely having fun with it!

What do you love and/or loathe about this time of the year?

Sip & See: Update

Posted on May 16, 2014 Written by Tonya

It was a celebration three and a half years in the making.

I bought new dresses for both of us.

There were beautiful platters of croissant sandwiches, quiche, colorful macaroons, mini cupcakes and delicious salads.

Gorgeous flowers and my favorite people filled the room.

And the champagne was free flowing!

The gifts were generous and heartfelt, especially a Dave Matthews Band-themed diaper cake, which included diapers, of course, a Rockabye Baby! Lullaby Renditions of Dave Matthews Band CD, framed lyric, monkey onesie, Anti Monkey Butt diaper cream and monkey rattles (see photo below).

It was a day to celebrate; a Sip & See for Lola hosted and attended by my best friends and family.

Back in December, I wrote a post sponsored by Minted about how we had opted for a Sip & See after Lola’s arrival instead of a baby shower/sprinkle beforehand.

As promised, here’s the invitation:

Click on image for more details and ordering information.

Todd took the children home after a while and the game Cards Against Humanity came out. There was laughter and a few tears as I fumbled through a toast trying to express how much the day meant to me, but mostly there was love.

It was lovely afternoon.

Thank you, again friends and especially Leah, for getting me home safely.

When “Thank You” Isn’t Enough

Posted on February 21, 2014 Written by Tonya

For over a year, I have been a proud member of an online blogging group and these women are amazing in so many ways.

Their words lift me up when I’m feeling low, they are wise and supportive, strong and hard working, funny and real! They are sensitive and sweet and sometimes a little crass, which I happen to love! I honestly don’t know where I would be without them.

This is a closed group and not to sound cliquey, but a very exclusive one. I was lucky to be asked to join.

The oddest (for lack of a better word) thing about this incredible group of fellow women, mothers and writers is that of the 29 members, I have only met seven in real life. Now, anyone that says that online friends aren’t real, hasn’t ever met women like these!

Throughout my struggles with secondary infertility, this group not only shared my words through their social media channels but shared their own personal stories of longing and then hoped and prayed right there with me that someday I would be able to get pregnant again and when I did, they shared my joy, worry and happy tears.

In the weeks leading up to Lola’s birth and even since, a package (or two) has arrived on my door step each day and each day I have been overwhelmed and deeply touched by the gifts of love we have received.

Packages have come from all over the world and here is just a small sampling of what has arrived:

Here’s what arrived yesterday:

Thank you, Kir!

If you don’t already know the following women, you should!

Alison of Writing, Wishing
Kiran of Masala Chica
Erin of The Road to My Writer Roots & The Gay Dad Project
Laura of Mommy Miracles
Tracy of Sellabit Mum
Natalie of Mommy of a Monster & Twins
Robin of Farewell Stranger
Jennifer of Jennifer P. Williams
Greta of Gfunkified
Brittany of That’s Vandy
Deborah of Ask Doctor G
Elaine of The Miss Elaine-ous Life
Sarah of Little White Whale
Arnebya of What Now and Why
Poppy of Facing 40
Kristin of Two Cannoli
Angie of Angie Kinghorn
Angela of Angela Amman
Jennie of A Lady in France
Galit of These Little Waves
Leigh Ann of Genie in a Blog
Keely of Lollygag Blog
Katie of Sluiter Nation
Anna of An Inch of Gray
Andrea of About 100%
Kim of Co-Pilot Mom
Kerstin of Auer Life
Kirsten (Kir) of The Kir Corner & KirstenAPiccini.com
Jessica of My Time As Mom

Thank you, ladies. Not just for the generous gifts to help my family welcome our sweet miracle, but for your friendship.

How I Beat The Post-Holiday Blues

Posted on December 28, 2013 Written by Tonya

Our first Christmas in our new house was a memorable one and the 75+ degree temperatures have been weird and wonderful. I loved having my in-laws, sister and her boyfriend staying with us and still can’t believe all of my recipes turned out exactly the way they were suppose to. I think spent more time in the kitchen over the last week than I have all year (more on this in another post)! And nothing can compare to a child’s excitement over Santa’s arrival. Lucas was a ball of energy all week!

But now it’s over.

Just like that.

For me the worst part of Christmas is the aftermath: the tree has been taken down, most of the gifts have either been exchanged, returned for the correct size or put away, the last of the pie has been eaten, family and friends have gone home, the mailbox is no longer bursting with greetings and thank you cards have been started.

It’s sad.

So much excitement and anticipation goes into prepping for the holidays and then all at once, it’s over and the warm fuzzy feelings disappear.

Here are some ways I like to combat the post-holiday blues:

Create a scrapbook or fun collage to commemorate holiday memories.

Begin (or in my case, resume) an exercise program. I went for a walk this morning and it was mind clearing and felt great.

Daydream about summer and our next family vacation. We’re thinking Mexico and yes, with a new baby!

Do something productive… as if I haven’t been productive the last few months, making a baby and moving, etc., but I spent some time getting Lucas signed up for swim lessons, soccer and researched karate classes. I also packed a bag for the hospital and renewed my domain name. All of these tasks have been on my To Do list for weeks and I’m glad to have them behind me.

Treat myself. Like me, chances are you have been cooking and baking for family and friends and buying for others, so now is the time to schedule a massage or hair appointment, or some quiet time alone to curl up with a good book (or my brand new Kindle Paperwhite!!).

I know I’m not the only one that feels this way, so I reached out to a friend and we had a great phone call recapping the last few days and planning for the upcoming weeks.

How do you avoid the post holiday blues?

Whatever you do to get through this time, know that these feelings will soon pass and more good times are in store!

Old School Blogging: The Holiday Edition

Posted on December 18, 2013 Written by Tonya

Today I am linking up with Elaine of The Miss Elaine-ous Life and Kir of The Kir Corner for this month’s Old School Blogging: The Holiday Edition! If you’re not familiar with Old School Blogging, it’s where bloggers revive blogging memes that went around years ago.

Do you Celebrate Christmas, Hanukkah, or both?

Ho Ho Ho!! Does this answer the question? (:

Peppermint or Chocolate?

Chocolate. Always chocolate.

Sing us into the Holiday Season. What is your favorite carol this time of year?

I have a play list of over nine hours of holiday music! For me it’s not Christmastime until I hear Wham’s Last Christmas or Paul McCartney’s Wonderful Christmastime, but I adore the lyrics to Grown Up Christmas List:

No more lives torn apart
That wars would never start
And time would heal all hearts
And everyone would have a friend,
Right would always win,
Love would never end.
This is my grown up Christmas list

– David Foster (music), Linda Thompson-Jenner and Amy Grant (lyrics)

Tell us about a favorite family or personal holiday tradition.

One of my favorite family holiday traditions on Christmas Day was after all the presents were opened and prominently displayed in front of the tree (another tradition), we would go to a movie. Many big blockbusters open on Christmas Day and we always had fun trying to agree on which one to see. After the movie we would come home and make leftover turkey sandwiches and each have a slice (or two) of pie. Chocolate pudding for me, pumpkin for my dad, and pecan for my mom and sister. It’s hard to believe that this will be my sixth Christmas without my parents, but my sister and I have kept up this tradition.

Come on, you remember your favorite Christmas gift. Tell us all about it.

In November 2007, a month after my parents died, my husband, sister and I traveled to Tunisia to visit the school, ACST (American Cooperative School of Tunis), where they worked. We wanted to spend time where they last had, visit with their colleagues and gain some peace and understanding. It was also important to me to be the ones that cleared out their home.

It was a difficult trip to say the least, but necessary for our grieving process. We were met with much understanding and support and much of the time we were not only being consoled but were consoling.

In a very touching ceremony, the school planted two olive trees in a common area on campus and dedicated one to each of my parents while we were in town.

That year for Christmas my husband had an olive tree planted for me in our side yard.

I love this tree and will always appreciate the kind gesture that my husband made in finding and having it planted at our home. It will forever remind me of our trip to Tunis, the two trees that grow and bloom there in memory of my parents and of course, my parents themselves.

This poor tree has been uprooted and been living in a box for almost two years. This week it was planted in the front yard at our new house where it will hopefully grow and flourish.

December 16, 2013

That magical moment: your favorite scene from a holiday movie.

It’s A Wonderful Life is my favorite holiday movie and I love when Clarence tells George: “You see George, you really had a wonderful life.” Ah… gets me every time.

Kissing under the mistletoe. Who do you hope is standing underneath (we know it’s normally your spouse, but if it did not have to be, who would you choose)?

Ryan Gosling.

Duh.

Swans a swimming, lords a leaping, golden rings: which gift of the 12 days of Christmas would you like most?

None! Unless those maids do more than milking.

Play Secret Santa. What inappropriate gift would you love to give this year?

Hmmm… I’m going to have to give this some thought but Ryan Gosling and a big red bow come to mind. Just off the top pf my head.

Martha Stewart or the Grinch? What is your decorating style?

I wish I could say Martha Stewart, but I really fall somewhere in between. Someday I want to splurge and have lights professionally installed on the front of our house. I looked into it this year, but was shocked at how utterly ridiculously expensive it is. I like to get our tree up early and I have a motley crew of Christmas guys (stuffed animals) displayed around the house and holiday towels for the guest bathroom. I am grateful that we haven’t started the Elf on the Shelf madness yet!

What is ONE WORD that defines the holiday season for you?

Believe!

If Santa could assure its delivery, what’s the first thing on your holiday wish LIST?

The safe delivery of a healthy baby girl, born anytime after January 1, 2014!

If you want to play along or read other Old School Blogging: Holiday Edition lists, visit The Miss Elaine-ous Life or The Kir Corner and then compile your own! Don’t forget to tweet it out using the hashtag #OSBlog. Happy Christmas, everyone!

Home Movies

Posted on December 28, 2012 Written by Tonya

The year: 1986

The location: Banjul, The Gambia, West Africa

The cast: A family of four: mother (37), father (39), eldest daughter (15), youngest daughter (2).

The scene: Christmas morning, parents wake their daughters and the family is soon gathered around a sparsely decorated tree in the corner of their living room. Holiday music plays in the background.

With a messy head of curls, the littlest daughter squeals with delight upon descending the stairs realizing Santa has visited.

Gifts are distributed and opened. For the teenager with Sun-In bleached hair and nails chewed down to the quick, a necklace, Lady Stetson perfume and a Kodak Disc camera. For the toddler, a remote control puppy that yaps throughout the morning, baby doll clothes, a bright yellow toy camera and a Barbie doll pink starter vanity set.

Biscuits smothered with butter and jam are nibbled, as are Santa’s left over cookies. The familiar sound of a diet Dr. Pepper being cracked open can be heard at one point.

The conversation is faint, but there is laughter and smiles.

A video camera sits across the room on a coffee table and records the entire scene. The quality is fuzzy, but the memory is rich.

I was mesmerized as I watched 43 minutes of one family’s Christmas morning.

My family.

My sister had eight VHS home movies transferred to DVD for me for Christmas this year and the scene described above was one of them. Thank you, Leah for such an incredible and thoughtful gift. I will always treasure these home movies.

Blur

Posted on December 3, 2012 Written by Tonya

I almost bought my father, who has been dead for five years a Christmas present today.

A book, but not just any book, a $75.00 coffee table book: Fenway Park: 100 Years: The Official, Definitive History of America’s Most Beloved Ballpark

He would have devoured it.

He loved the Red Sox.

His last e-mail to me, the e-mail that will forever stay in my In Box was about recording the 2007 play off games (he and my mother lived overseas and could not watch the games live). The Red Sox were victorious that year against the Colorado Rockies in the World Series, but my father died before he even knew they were going to the Big Show.

I was actually standing in line at Barnes & Noble holding this beautiful 12 x 14 shrink wrapped book in my arms thinking how on earth am I going to wrap this thing?

And then it hit me.

I no longer buy my father Christmas presents.

“Dad” isn’t a name on my Christmas shopping list.

What the hell am I doing?

On one hand, I felt like a total idiot and on the other, it was so incredibly sad.

I put the book back where I found it and couldn’t get out of the store fast enough.

Why does our brain do that to us? Trick us into thinking someone is here that is definitely not, lets us get all the way to the check out line before reality sneaks up and reminds us of the harsh truth. So bizarre. So cruel.

As I rushed off to my car to have a good cry, I thought I should have at least looked through it. So, what does my dumb ass do? I returned to the store, picked up an unwrapped copy, found a quiet corner, thumbed through the pages, let the words and photographs blur and was careful to keep my tears from landing on the pages.

I Heart Teachers!

Posted on May 9, 2012 Written by Tonya

I grew up with teachers.

My parents were educators, who worked in American international schools for 28 years and prior to that on an American Indian reservation in Arizona. Their careers spanned 35 years and if I learned anything from them, it was how much they enjoyed their jobs, how hard they worked and how dedicated they were. They loved children and were good at their jobs.

I spent many weekends in either one of their classrooms “playing teacher” as they worked on their lesson plans in preparation for the week ahead. As I got older, I was recruited to help cut out letters, assemble packets, test markers, organize books, try out a new project or craft or run dittos (remember those?).

It was fun being at school after hours and hanging out with teachers when they weren’t in “teacher mode”. Having them over for dinner or vacationing with them and their families humanized them. They were my parents friends and once I became an adult, they were mine too.

I’ve always thought teachers were amazing, selfless people. I realize now that I am a parent, how much faith and trust we put in our children’s teachers and I know that our education system is suffering in this country and our teachers aren’t paid enough for what they do. Many of our classrooms are overcrowded and special needs aren’t being met.

Nevertheless, teachers are the people who educate us and give us the vital knowledge which we need to live our lives. They encourage, support, discipline and prepare us for the road ahead and they deserve a time for us to show them our appreciation.

Teacher Appreciation Week is this week (May 7-11) and it is the perfect opportunity for us to show teachers how thankful we are for their support.

Demonstrate how much the teachers in your life mean to you by saying thank you to the people who work really hard so that we can have a better future.

Lucas took Starbucks gift cards to preschool yesterday for each of his teachers. The smiles on their faces told me that they would be put to good use.

Have you done anything special for the teachers in your life?

For some simple and inexpensive gift ideas, visit my post today on Smart Mom Style.

My Tree: A Timeline

Posted on March 19, 2012 Written by Tonya

As you may or may not know, my parents died while working in Tunis, Tunisia. My father was the principal of an American international school and my mother was a third-grade teacher.

A month after they died, the school planted two olive trees on campus in their memory. It was a lovely gesture and my sister, husband and I were to attend the dedication ceremony. I often think about those trees, what they symbolize and how they came to be.

American Cooperative School of Tunis – November, 2007

Two months later, my husband worked with our gardener to find an olive tree for our backyard and gave it to me as a Christmas gift. It is the most thoughtful gift I have ever received. I love that tree and enjoyed watching it flourish.

Pregnant with Lucas – April, 2009

Two years and a baby later, my husband opened his own car dealership and we moved.

Our moving day – December, 2011 (Lucas is 1 1/2)

The tree was one of the things I was most worried about because we weren’t going to take it with us. Until we got settled in a new city, we would be renting. Mercifully, the gentleman that bought our house said the olive tree could stay until we purchased a new home.

This past February, the new owner changed his mind, got a puppy who enjoys digging at the tree and decided he wanted to do something else with the yard space that has become my tree’s home.

My husband reached out to our old gardener and other tree removal companies and a couple of weekends ago with the help of a good friend, relocated my tree to the backyard of our rental home.

Moving day for the tree – February 19, 2012

It looks a lot different; sad, completely traumatized and barren, but we are hopeful that it will hang in there and someday flourish again.

My tree today, one month after being uprooted

My Day In Numbers

Posted on December 12, 2011 Written by Tonya

12 days until Christmas and like you, my holiday ‘To Do’ list is out of control!

Today was a very productive day….

I addressed, stamped and mailed 100 holiday cards,

visited 6 stores, including Starbucks for a much needed extra dose of liquid energy,

baked 7 dozen cookies (sugar, chocolate chip oatmeal and peanut butter) with the help of a pint-sized sous chef,

did 5 loads of laundry (sadly, underwear still needs to be washed even though it’s the holiday season),

managed to find an hour to walk 4 miles,

listened to 3 hours of Christmas music,

savored 2 glasses of well-deserved wine,

gave 1 time out,

and ate countless cookies.

Turns out the problem with baking seven dozen cookies is that Lucas had two and was over it. I’m still eating them!

Good thing I am giving the rest away as gifts.

I hope your holiday prep is going well and that the sous chef in your life makes you smile as much as mine.

Loving & Loathing The Holidays

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When “Thank You” Isn’t Enough

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