Letters For Lucas

Wonders, Mishaps, Blunders and Joy.. commentary on my life as a mom in the form of letters to my son

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No Dogs Allowed?

Posted on February 4, 2013 Written by Tonya

Recently our landlady found out we have a puppy. We’re guessing it was the photo on our holiday card. See below. 

According to our Renters Agreement, no pets are allowed. I thought my husband had cleared Charlie Pasta’s arrival with her over the summer, but apparently he did not. After berating him (my husband, not the dog) over the phone, she insisted on visiting  to inspect the current condition.

We keep a neat house, despite having a toddler and a puppy. A very neat house. I’m a very anal retentive, OCD, type A, controlling organized person and everything in my home has a place, there is very little clutter, beds are made each morning and toys are picked up throughout the day. We have our house professionally cleaned once or twice a month, the dog is crate-trained and rarely unsupervised. He also goes to the groomer once or twice a month, in addition to being bathed at home once a week.

Even with all of the tidiness, getting ready for this woman’s visit was like a Seinfeld episode…

The day before, Todd and I were leaving town for a quick trip to Tucson to check on the work being done at the house my sister and I inheritance from our parents. I was trying to organize the details of Lucas’ care while we would be away. We don’t want either of our two trusted babysitters to be responsible for the dog too, so we decide to board him and at the same time have him neutered. 🙁

Luckily, the day before the visit was also housekeeper day, but while vacuuming, one of them pulled a snag in the carpet in our bedroom that lead to an eight inch long gaping hole.

A frantic phone call to a carpet repair specialist and $75 later the problem was solved. If you’ve ever wondered how holes in carpets are repaired, it’s much like a facelift with stretching and tugging and lots of glue! It’s a fascinating process.

What I kept thinking as we bid our son farewell for 24 hours and headed to the airport was what must a complete stranger think about us upon entering our home. What does our space reveal about us?

Our style is eclectic, mismatched pillows on the couch in our living room, dozens of books on the shelves and magazines on the bedside tables, family and car photos adorn the walls, except in Lucas’ room, which has Dr. Seuss prints and a huge Lucas Oil sign. You’ll find a treadmill and a spin bike in one room and a welcoming guest bed in the another. There are doormats at every door that leads outside. There’s a bowl of fruit on the kitchen counter next to a gourmet style coffee maker. There are several bottles of perfume on the sink in the master bathroom and tons of evidence that not only a child, but also a canine live here too.

What you can’t see when you walk through our house is that we are a family, we are responsible people, parents and pet owners and we respect where we live. Not just on drop by visit days, every day.

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Although we haven’t heard from her, our landlady came and went and took our February rent check with her, so I guess we are allowed to stay. For now.

EDITED TO ADD: I guess it all comes down to the Renter’s Agreement. Today we received notice that we have 45 days to vacate. Oh joy!

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Filed Under: annoyances, family, home, move, puppy Tagged With: annoyances, family, home, landlandy, move, puppy

My Tree: A Timeline

Posted on March 19, 2012 Written by Tonya

As you may or may not know, my parents died while working in Tunis, Tunisia. My father was the principal of an American international school and my mother was a third-grade teacher.

A month after they died, the school planted two olive trees on campus in their memory. It was a lovely gesture and my sister, husband and I were to attend the dedication ceremony. I often think about those trees, what they symbolize and how they came to be.

American Cooperative School of Tunis – November, 2007

Two months later, my husband worked with our gardener to find an olive tree for our backyard and gave it to me as a Christmas gift. It is the most thoughtful gift I have ever received. I love that tree and enjoyed watching it flourish.

Pregnant with Lucas – April, 2009

Two years and a baby later, my husband opened his own car dealership and we moved.

Our moving day – December, 2011 (Lucas is 1 1/2)

The tree was one of the things I was most worried about because we weren’t going to take it with us. Until we got settled in a new city, we would be renting. Mercifully, the gentleman that bought our house said the olive tree could stay until we purchased a new home.

This past February, the new owner changed his mind, got a puppy who enjoys digging at the tree and decided he wanted to do something else with the yard space that has become my tree’s home.

My husband reached out to our old gardener and other tree removal companies and a couple of weekends ago with the help of a good friend, relocated my tree to the backyard of our rental home.

Moving day for the tree – February 19, 2012

It looks a lot different; sad, completely traumatized and barren, but we are hopeful that it will hang in there and someday flourish again.

My tree today, one month after being uprooted

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Filed Under: friends, gifts, move, photos, TBW Tagged With: friends, gifts, move, photos, TBW

Me

Posted on November 30, 2011 Written by Tonya

5 Things You Don’t Know About Me:
1. I’m always on time, sometimes even early.
2. I’m as loyal as a dog. Unless you cross me or enjoy creating drama for the sake of drama, I’ll be yours til the end.
3. Name an artist and I can [probably] sing one of their songs. This is a great party trick.
4. I am FIERCELY competitive. Trust me, you want to be on my team when playing Scene It, Trivial Pursuit or Taboo.
5. When watching movies at home, I use subtitles because I don’t want to miss a word.

5 Things I’m Knowledgeable About:
1. Acting like I know what I’m doing.

2. Moving. I’ve moved 14 times since 1991 so I consider myself a pro.
3. Locating a book at the bookstore or library without any assistance.
4. I am uber organized, as in file folders with labels-containers of all shapes and sizes-everything has it’s place kind of way.
5. I’m a really good marketer. Ever since I was 14 I wanted to work in advertising and for 10 years I did before becoming a mother and now I help a few people market their small businesses and help them break into social media and I still love it!

5 Things I Know Nothing About:
1. Applying eye make-up.
2. Changing a tire.
3. Lighting a fire.
4. Cooking. Seriously, I burn rice.
5. Driving a manual transmission vehicle.

5 Things I Believe:
1. I believe in the power of positive thinking, a hug, hot shower, long walk, one-on-one time with someone you love, a good cry, a glass of wine and children’s laughter.
2. I believe everything happens for a reason and while I may not always know what it is, I’m determined to learn from it…. eventually.
3. I believe that motherhood is the toughest job on the planet and something I was meant to do.
4. I believe that life is short and there is absolutely no use walking around pissed off at the world.
5. I believe in Santa Claus.

This post was written for Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop, Prompt 2.) Five Things. List 5 things we don’t know about you, 5 things you’re knowledgeable about, 5 things you know nothing about, and 5 things you believe. (inspired by LouLou’s Views)

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Filed Under: books, confession, cooking, mama kat's writer's workshop, motherhood, move, TDA bio Tagged With: books, confession, cooking, mama kat's writer's workshop, motherhood, move, TDA bio

Time To Detox

Posted on February 8, 2011 Written by Tonya

My husband and I are doing something utterly insane this week. Well, okay, it’s not that crazy, people do it all the time. In fact, little did I know, Todd has actually done it several times in the past and for a lot longer period of time.

What are we doing?

We are cleansing! For the next three days, we will eat and drink nothing but juice and water.

We are using a friend of a friend’s product called Ritual Cleanse. We are doing the Seasonal Reset Cleanse; which consists of six fresh pressed pure vegetable, fruit and nut juices a day, one every two hours for three days.Before signing up, I tasted these juices and they are delicious! I’ve also heard nothing but great things about the outcome, so I am really excited (or as excited as one can be over starving themselves for 72 hours).

I digress…

People cleanse for many different reasons; it’s a quick, easy, efficient way to flush the whole body and reset all its systems. For some it’s all about the weight loss. For me, I’m not interested in losing any weight, although, I’d be lying if I said I wouldn’t be thrilled to see a lower number on the scale after three days of not eating. Between moving and the holidays, there has been a lot of late night eating, take out, fast food and alcohol, so my personal goal is to detox my insides and jump start my body for a healthier way of eating.

I’m sure by the middle of Day 2, I’ll have a raging headache and want to eat my arm off, but I’m trying to stay positive and I am very committed to doing this.

We start tomorrow and I will be tweeting about my experience follow me here: @letters4lucas and I’ll post an update here next week.Stay tuned and wish us luck!

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Filed Under: exercise, health, move, ritual cleanse, TBW, weight Tagged With: exercise, health, move, ritual cleanse, TBW, weight

A New Year

Posted on January 2, 2011 Written by Tonya

2010 was a year of highs and lows for our household. Luckily the highs outweighed the lows and in many cases I shared them on Letters For Lucas

Here are (just) the highlights:
January – Leah moved to Los Angeles.
March – I got my third tattoo.
April/May – We took a very memorable trip to Australia and New Caledonia, where I got to see my dearest and oldest friend, Sophie again after 10 long years.
May – A fun girl’s weekend to San Luis Obispo.
June – Lucas turns 1 year old.
August – Lady Gaga in concert with Leah.
August – A very intimate backyard BBQ featuring my all time favorite singer, Dave Matthews.
August – Letters For Lucas turned one.
September – Todd started his new business, European Classic Cars on PCH.
September – I gave Seattle another shot, fell in love and got to see my friend Siobhain again after 25 years.
October – I participated in my third Susan G. Komen 3-Day Walk, second with my sister and I got to cross ‘walk over the Golden Gate Bridge’ off my Bucket List.
December – We moved to Orange County.

December – Leah and I took Lucas to Disneyland for his visit time.

Looking forward to 2011, but not a big proponent of New Year’s Resolutions per se, my goals tend to be very similar from year to year:
  • Exercise more
  • Read more
  • Cook more
  • Be present no matter what I’m doing or who I’m with. Be in the moment.

And this year, I am on a mission to declutter our home starting with Lucas’ toys and books, but more on that in another post.

What’s on your agenda for the next 364 days of the year? Let’s make ’em count!
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Filed Under: aunt leah, DMB, friends, holidays, list, milestones, move, new year, sophie, travel Tagged With: 3-day, aunt leah, DMB, friends, holidays, list, milestones, move, new year, sophie, travel

Week One

Posted on December 18, 2010 Written by Tonya

In our first week in Orange County we’ve been to Disneyland, the annual Newport Beach Boat Parade and a shopping trip to South Coast Plaza and have managed to settle in to our new home. There are still many boxes to unpack and a garage full of items to organize, but the basics are done.

I was five years old the first time I went to Disneyland in the Summer of 1977. How my parents managed to get this shot without another soul in it is beyond me. Fast forward to 2010 and this is what Sleeping Beauty’s Castle looks like today:Lucas loved his first visit to Disneyland or “the Mickey Mouse park”, as it has come to be known in our house. If you ever get the opportunity to visit during the holiday season, it is really worth it. The Happiest Place on Earth becomes the Merriest Place on Earth with holiday decorations abound and it even snows!

We took Lucas on the It’s a Small World ride and he was bright-eyed and excited the entire time bouncing along to the soundtrack and enjoyed being on the boat, even after waiting in line for 40 minutes.

I was pleasantly surprised that he sat through the entire “A Christmas Fantasy” Parade, which includes all the Disney characters and Santa Claus too, after waiting another 40 minutes. He was mesmerized by the lights and dancers.

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Handing us the park map so we can find our way to the “choo choo”.

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Way more interested in his Mickey balloon than meeting Minnie.

 

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It was a memorable and magical first of many trips.

Back to unpacking…

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Filed Under: aunt leah, disneyland, milestones, move, outing, photos Tagged With: aunt leah, disneyland, milestones, move, outing, photos

The House That Built Me

Posted on December 13, 2010 Written by Tonya

I love this house and I will miss it.

Today is moving day and I am excited, exhausted, nostalgic and sad.

Walking downstairs this morning, it hit me: last night was my last night here.

No matter how frustrated I have become with this house in the last few months due to its lack of space for Lucas, it’s cold, hard slat floors, it’s barely large enough to turn around in kitchen and it’s distance from good friends and family, we have spent four wonderful years here.

I was proposed to in the dining room.

I became a wife in the backyard.

I saw my parents for the last time in the living room.

I’ve enjoyed meals prepared by my husband, lots of takeout and countless bowls of cereal from the bar in the kitchen.

I’ve walked hundreds of miles on the treadmill in the office.

With my husband by my side, I have cried myself to sleep out of immeasurable grief within the safety and comfort of our bedroom.

We became parents in this house as we paced the floors comforting, soothing and getting to know our newborn.

We turned the upstairs guest room into a nursery and have read, sang and fed our son in the rocking chair in his room night after night for the past 18 months.

We’ve watched hours of mindless television catching up and trying to decompress from our busy days in our family room.

We’ve played “choo choo” and cars in every. single. room.

We have walked to and from the mailbox in hopes of running onto our neighbor’s cat, or better yet, one of our great neighbors.

We’ve hollered at one another at the top or bottom of the stairs, tripped on items that needed to go one way or the other and met each other halfway.

We’ve entertained family, celebrated birthdays and made new friends on our patio and watched a beautiful olive tree grow and bloom in the side yard.

I will carry with me all the warm memories this home has provided and hope that it’s new residents will treat it well.

I love this house and I will miss it.

Here’s to the next chapter…

This post was featured on the BlogHer Home page, in the featured members section on January 5, 2011.

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Filed Under: change, family, memories, milestones, move, parenthood, photos, TBW Tagged With: change, family, memories, milestones, move, parenthood, TBW

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