Letters For Lucas

Wonders, Mishaps, Blunders and Joy.. commentary on my life as a mom in the form of letters to my son

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Under A Shady Tree

Posted on July 8, 2014 Written by Tonya

I had just completed my morning walk and as usual was anxious to move on to daily errands and checking items off my “to do” list, but something stopped me from unbuckling Lola from her stroller and buckling her into her car seat.

A shady tree.

It almost beckoned me, dared me to do something that was not on the agenda.

Come, stop, sit for a while.

There is nothing else you need to do right now.

Be here.

Carefully lifting Lola out of her stroller, I left it by the car, walked not even 5 feet, fanned out a blanket under the calm of the tree and sat down.

We practiced sitting and I sang You Are My Sunshine and Twinkle Twinkle Little Star.

grass

We listened to the birds chirping and cars driving past, airplanes overhead and greeted anyone who walked by.

Lola grabbed at the grass with her tiny fingers and gasped and smiled with the wind.

Soon she had rolled almost entirely off the blanket and was gazing up at the leaves in the tree and “talking” quietly to herself. She was mesmerized, as was I.

grass3

As I stared in awe at my precious little girl, I thought I want to remember this. This moment.

She’s only going to be this small for a finite amount of time. I’m so glad we did this, thank you tree.

Duty will always call but taking time to savor and drink up these special moments is vital to my existence.

Related Posts:

  • Let Her Sleep…
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  • Our Wednesdays

Filed Under: gratitude, nature, outing, photos, SAHM, simple joys Tagged With: gratitude, nature, outing, photos, SAHM, simple joys

Let Her Sleep…

Posted on April 24, 2014 Written by Tonya

Before Lola was born, Wednesday was one of my favorite days because it’s the only day Lucas doesn’t go to school and it was just us. Since Lola’s arrival, Wednesdays are tough, especially for her.

Poor girl is in and out of the car for big brother’s swim lessons, in and out of the car for his My Gym class; there’s lots of waiting around while he gets to have all the fun, she has her diapers changed in public restrooms, feedings on the go and put up with general chaos. I take her out of her car seat and she loves to watch him and everything else going on around us, but it’s not familiar surroundings and she fusses a lot. 

Yesterday I made time for us to be home in middle of all of our Wednesday activities for a little while. Lucas played with Lego quietly and I did a few things around the house. Lola enjoyed scooting around (not quite able to roll over) on the guest bed cooing as happy as can be. I hung out with her for a while and then left for a few moments and returned to the most magical sight:

sleep

I don’t seek these moments out but when they find me, they take my breath away. After soaking it in I grabbed my camera.

I could not love this little girl more.

Related Posts:

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  • Spring Break: Day 1
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Filed Under: gratitude, outing, photos, quotes, SAHM, siblings, sleep Tagged With: gratitude, outing, photos, quotes, SAHM, siblings, sleep

Spring Break: Day 1

Posted on April 8, 2014 Written by Tonya

We left the house at 8:30 for an 8:45 pediatrician appointment and didn’t plan to return until close to 4:00. I had gotten up before both kids so I could take a shower, prepare breakfast and pack our bag for the day. I had thought of everything; I was wearing sensible shoes and excited that Lucas had decided to go the aquarium in between appointments (he and I had dentist appointments after lunch). It was the first day of his Spring Break!

We were ready to go and I was a diaper bag packer extraordinaire!

Shot records for both kids
A change of clothes for Lola, sweatshirt for Lucas
Socks
Lucas’s favorite cereal bars and fruit chews
Wet Ones and hand sanitizer
Wipes
Changing pad
Bottles with measured power for two feedings plus back up packets of formula, just in case
Nipples with covers
Burp cloths
Bottled water
Extra blanket
Hats
Sunscreen
Sunglasses
Crayons
Notepad
Cash and checkbook
Fully charged phone and car charger
Keys

It wasn’t until lunch time that I realized I had no diapers. Not a one! I couldn’t have left the house without diapers, could I?! What kind of mother am I? Plus, hadn’t I thought of everything? No diapers?! What?!

No, I hadn’t left the house without diapers, I just used my last ONE at the doctor’s office.

Too far from home to make it there and back out in time for our dentist appointment, we had to take a detour to a nearby grocery store and forgo going to a park. Lucas was disappointed, but understanding. He was a true champ but thoroughly enjoyed announcing (throwing me under the bus) to everyone we encountered the rest of the day by saying, “My mommy is going crazy because she forgot diapers because she was tired because she had to take care of Lola all night because Daddy is traveling”.

Oy, kids! O_o

photo

Related Posts:

  • Let Her Sleep…
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Filed Under: outing, photos, SAHM, spring break Tagged With: outing, photos, SAHM, spring break

The Happiest Place On Earth

Posted on September 19, 2013 Written by Tonya

Like most children, at the mere mention of Disneyland, Lucas’ eyes light up. He LOVES going to the Magic Kingdom and on some level knows what an ordeal it is, from the cost, parking, tram ride, lines, waiting, more waiting, crowds and multiple picture taking, it is a real treat to get to go.

Lucas’ first trip to Disneyland was when he was 18 months old and we had just moved to Orange County. In his short four years and three months on this planet, he has already been a dozen times! I suppose that’s what happens when you are born and raised in Southern California. I never want the enchantment to wear off, so I’m careful about only taking him 4-5 times a year.

dl2

While it’s fun to go to DL anytime and with anyone, I wish I could have captured the sparkle in Lucas’ eyes yesterday when we went with our good friends. Having a buddy at his level seemed to only intensify the magic and his experience. Thanks, Jen, Tristan and Samantha! I’m thrilled that together the four of us were able to get him on Pirates of the Caribbean, which he is still talking about.

photo

Tristan and Lucas on It’s a Small World

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Filed Under: disneyland, friends, outing, photos Tagged With: disneyland, friends, outing, photos

I Don’t Know How To Play

Posted on September 17, 2013 Written by Tonya

I’m a terrible mother because the three words I loathe the most are: play with me, especially when strung together repeated and delivered in a whinny four year old voice. 

I will go round after round and even let him win sometimes at Junior Scrabble, UNO and Connect Four, in fact I love games!

I will ask 20 questions, trying to figure out what he spies with his little blue eyes.

I will search high and low for gel food dye to add to shaving cream to smear all over the shower stall, bend and twist pipe cleaners, clean up glitter and tiny pieces of construction paper and attempt to draw anything he asks me to.

I will create a playlist of his favorite Top 40 hits and have a dance party in our living room.

I will spend hours at Disneyland, California Adventure, Knott’s Berry Farm, Sea World and Legoland with him by my side waiting patiently to go on each and every ride he desires.

I will push him on swings, play hide-and-seek and time him on his scooter as he makes loop after loop around the park.

I will load the car with sand toys, sunscreen and towels in order to to spend the afternoon at the beach building castles, hunting for shells and chasing seagulls.

I will take him to Target knowing full well I’ll be spending most of our trip in the toy aisle agonizing over Cars, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and other items he has, wants or needs. 

I will learn all his favorite characters names and let him quiz me on them.

I will carefully pre-measure ingredients for him to add to bowls and let him try using the mixer on low so he can “help” me bake a cake. 

I will pack his backpack with his beloved snacks and activities and take him on many trips to visit family in the Bay Area.

I will read him any of the dozens of books we own over and over all day long.

I will take him to the latest kids movie where we share the biggest bag of popcorn they sell.

I will send mothers I don’t know notes asking if their sons would enjoy coming to our home to spend time with my son.

I will make up silly songs, perform puppet shows with no real story lines and do just about anything to make Lucas smile or laugh.

There are tons of things I will do with my son and thoroughly enjoy, but playing with him is not one of them.

Pushing cars around the floor and having “races” is not fun for me.

I don’t know how to be a ninja and I hate holding toys or stuffed animals in my hand making them have conversations with one another.

It’s not that I feel silly or stupid, I’m just not good at pretending. I think maybe I was once… I loved playing with Barbies but not anymore and I feel guilty  because I hear “play with me” A LOT!! And too many times my response is, “let’s go to the park!”.

Do you know how to play with your children? Please tell me I’m not alone in my guilt.

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Filed Under: a mother's guilt, advice, confession, outing, parenting, play, question Tagged With: a mother's guilt, advice, outing, parenting, play, question

Our Wednesdays

Posted on August 14, 2013 Written by Tonya

Wednesdays are our days.

Big floppy hats, sunscreen and sand between our toes.

No school.

Watching the sun set, s’mores around a bonfire and patiently waiting for fireworks to light up the night sky.

No extra curricular activities.

Ferris wheel rides, beautiful blue skies and window shopping on the Third Street Promenade.

No chores.

Practicing froggy kicks, striking a ninja pose and squealing with delight going head first down the water slide. 

No worries.

Feeding carrots and grapes to rabbits and guinea pigs, panning for gold and burying ourselves in corn.

Just fun.

Making silly faces with long time friends and having second helpings of mac and cheese.

Just us. 

Popcorn, fruit chews, garden snails and the Indy 500.

Our only care in the world is to make memories, smile, giggle and occasionally indulge in ice cream.

PicMonkey Collage2

I wonder where Wednesday will take us today?

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Filed Under: aunt leah, beach, friends, memories, outing, photos, SAHM Tagged With: aunt leah, beach, friends, memories, outing, photos, SAHM

A Proud Mommy Moment

Posted on July 15, 2013 Written by Tonya

First of all, allow me to clear away the cobwebs and spray a little Endust. It has been nearly three weeks since I last blogged, the longest unintentional break I’ve ever taken. I have to say I liked it.

A lot!

What have I been up to?

I turned 41, I’ve been spending a lot of time in the sun, at the beach and pool with my family and friends, riding my beach cruiser while wrangling my dog and trying to keep up with Lucas on his scooter and reading! I am completely devouring the Veronica Roth Divergent series and counting down the days until the third installment comes out. Anyone else hooked? Speaking of being hooked, I have also discovered Keeping Up With The Kardashians. Don’t ask!

Plus, I honestly haven’t felt like writing or sharing even though there is never a loss for subject matter and my head is buzzing with post ideas. I suppose I’ve been a bit lazy too. Blogging is hard work and those of you that pump out material on a daily basis, my hat is off to you now and forever. I truly don’t know how you do it.

At any rate, while my blog posts may be sporadic, I am not quitting, just enjoying life.

I recently had one of those “I’m so proud to be this boy’s mother moments” and wanted to document it.

I took Lucas to the park after school one day last week and I neglected to grab his scooter or helmet. I knew that there may be hell to pay. While he enjoys being pushed on the swings, playing in the sand, climbing on the monkey bars and sliding down poles, he really loves riding his scooter most of all and no park outing is complete with it.

As suspected, he complained at first but was overall okay with Mommy’s mistake.

Leave it to Lucas to notice a lone PlasmaCar. He inched his way towards it and promptly got on and zoomed away. I chased after him and told him that it probably belonged to another child at the park and he’d have to return it when asked. It took exactly three minutes before a little boy about his Lucas’ age came over and exclaimed, “Hey, that’s mine!”. Lucas gave it up without a fight and then proceeded to sulk around the park.

Next thing you know the PlasmaCar is available again and Lucas gives me that look and I give him one in return and tell him that he better ask the boy if he can ride it. “No, you, Mommy!!” he whined.

I give him a three sentence script, a kiss for luck, hang back a little and watch and wait. He runs back to me twice without having said anything to the little boy but getting closer to him each time.

I know this is a huge undertaking for a four-year-old and I know he’s nervous. But I also know he wants to rides that PlasmaCar and I am confident that he can do this. I keep encouraging him and ask him what’s the worst that can happen? The boy says no and that’s it. You’ll say, “Thank you, anyway.” and move on. I’m trying to teach him self confidence and social skills and it worked.

On his third or fifth attempt, he is talking to the boy and seconds later, he rushes over to me with the biggest smile on his face.

“He said yes!!”

Because their conversation was very short, I did double check with the boy and indeed, he had said yes!

Proud son, proud Mommy!

IMG_3779

Sometimes all you have to do is ask.

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Filed Under: blog, books, outing, parenting, play, praise, TV Tagged With: blog, books, outing, parenting, play, praise, TV

Spring Break 2013

Posted on April 26, 2013 Written by Tonya

If you follow me on Facebook, Twitter or Instagram then you know Lucas was on Spring Break last week. I posted a lot of these photos already, but here are more highlights from our very long, yet very fun 10 days together.

I kept us busy day in and day out by visiting amusement parks, regular parks, meeting new friends (Snoopy and Katie and her equally car-crazed son), scheduling play dates, soccer lessons, surprise lunch visits with Daddy, a sunset Duffy boat ride and there may have been an afternoon or two or three of ice cream.  

There was limited TV watching and iPhone/iPad playing, lots of wine (for me, not him) and only two naps (not that I counted or anything). By the way, those last two things have nothing to do with one another. NOT!!

Spring Break sure has changed from when I was in school, but my son is becoming a really cool kid and I like hanging out with him a lot. He’s funny, silly, kind, super fast on his scooter and so, so, SO determined… especially in the nap department. 

Wonder where he gets that?

spring break

Click here to see how we spent last Spring Break!

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Filed Under: memories, milestones, outing, photos, spring break Tagged With: memories, milestones, outing, photos, Practical Parenting, spring break

Be Here

Posted on June 27, 2012 Written by Tonya

I usually leave the letter writing to you around here, but from time to time, I just have to address someone. This is one of those times. 

Dear Mom at the park,

We’ve never met.

I don’t know you.

I don’t pretend to have any idea what kind of life or even day you have had or what may be running through your head at this very moment, but I know that we all have stuff, heavy stuff and life is full of distractions.

I’ll be the first to admit that being a mom is really tough sometimes.

I know I’m out of place and you can tell me to go straight to hell, but I couldn’t help noticing your complete disinterest in your child as he desperately tried to get your attention today at the park.

Do you hear him?

Mom, watch this.

Mom, push me.

Mom, let’s build something.

Mom, help me.

Mom, will you chase me?

Mom?

Mom?!

MOM!

Everyone else at the park does.

Please get off your phone and pay attention to your boy.

Incidentally, that scream came from your son who just face planted into the hot rough sand. He needs you.

That incessant plea to be pushed on the swing is coming from your son.

Put your coffee aside and help your little boy get down from the monkey bars. He wants you.

He wants to spend time with you!

It’s not my job to tell your kid that throwing sand is not okay, not to mention barging in front of children half his age. Coming to the park is suppose to be fun for all of us. Sure it’s a drag when there are dozens of places we would rather be, but we are here so let’s make the best of it.

Be here.

Besides, would it kill you to engage with your child? Couldn’t you block the world out and chase him around in the grass for a few minutes? Why not take a load off and lay on your backs and count the clouds in sky? Build a magnificent sand castle? Slide down the slide together?

Do something.

Anything.

Laugh. Smile. Love.

It’s one afternoon, one hour, if that and I’m sure there will be no lasting effects, but childhood goes by way too fast and before you know it, an afternoon turns into a week and weeks become months and so on. I don’t want you to miss it.

Sincerely,

Someone who has been there.

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Filed Under: a mother's guilt, gratitude, Letters For You, my letters, outing, simple joys Tagged With: a mother's guilt, gratitude, Letters For You, my letters, outing, simple joys

It Was Perfect

Posted on May 30, 2012 Written by Tonya

Hi.

Let me just clear away the cobwebs.

It has been a while and I need a few more days to catch my breath…

I didn’t even have my Letters For You guest yesterday. Never fear, my weekly series will resume next week and stay tuned, because I have every Wednesday booked from now through September. I should also add that I haven’t been to visit any of my favorite bloggers lately either. Hopefully soon…

What a crazy, wonderful whirlwind of a week I have had so far!

My best friend, Sophie visited me from New Caledonia as an early birthday present from my husband and we had the best time together. Sophie and I have known each other since we were 14 and this week it was as if we were teenagers again.

We reminisced, caught up, laughed, cried and then laughed some more.

We shared secrets, parenting tips, gifts and hugs. 

We went to a Dodger baseball game, spent the day at the spa, went on an epic shopping trip (on which we both found jeans!), had dinner with my girlfriends and watched the sun set from a Duffy boat while eating cupcakes.

I posted a lot of photos on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram of our time together and more are below.



It was perfect.

And now, I’m left missing my friend, of course but I have the biggest smile on my face and my heart is full. The memories of this week will last a lifetime.

After being sick last week and MIA this week, Lucas and I need to get reacquainted. Tomorrow we head to North Carolina to attend a friend’s wedding and spend some quality time together as a family, so Letters For Lucas will be quiet again for a few days.

I hope you are enjoying your summer and loved ones too.

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Filed Under: birthdays, friends, gratitude, outing, photos, sophie, summer, travel Tagged With: birthdays, friends, gratitude, outing, photos, sophie, summer, travel

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