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Week One

Posted on December 18, 2010 Written by Tonya

In our first week in Orange County we’ve been to Disneyland, the annual Newport Beach Boat Parade and a shopping trip to South Coast Plaza and have managed to settle in to our new home. There are still many boxes to unpack and a garage full of items to organize, but the basics are done.

I was five years old the first time I went to Disneyland in the Summer of 1977. How my parents managed to get this shot without another soul in it is beyond me. Fast forward to 2010 and this is what Sleeping Beauty’s Castle looks like today:Lucas loved his first visit to Disneyland or “the Mickey Mouse park”, as it has come to be known in our house. If you ever get the opportunity to visit during the holiday season, it is really worth it. The Happiest Place on Earth becomes the Merriest Place on Earth with holiday decorations abound and it even snows!

We took Lucas on the It’s a Small World ride and he was bright-eyed and excited the entire time bouncing along to the soundtrack and enjoyed being on the boat, even after waiting in line for 40 minutes.

I was pleasantly surprised that he sat through the entire “A Christmas Fantasy” Parade, which includes all the Disney characters and Santa Claus too, after waiting another 40 minutes. He was mesmerized by the lights and dancers.

Handing us the park map so we can find our way to the “choo choo”.

Way more interested in his Mickey balloon than meeting Minnie.

It was a memorable and magical first of many trips.

Back to unpacking…

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Not Just Another Three Days

Posted on October 5, 2010 Written by Tonya

The 2010 Susan G. Komen San Francisco Bay Area 3-Day for the Cure began with an emotional Opening Ceremony on a foggy, windy morning at Cow Palace. From there we headed north into San Francisco and walked along the Great Highway with gorgeous ocean views. Some notable memories along the way included the “Manbulance” sweep van dancers, firemen out with their truck and the San Jose Bike Police supporting us along the route. The stairs on the steep coastal trail came up behind the Golden Gate Bridge as we walked through the Presidio to complete Day 1. After a long day of walking, we gathered at camp, our home away from home for the weekend.
We arose early on Saturday morning to another foggy day, ready to hit the trail. We walked across the Golden Gate Bridge (although we could barely see it through the fog). The Coast Guard came out at Fort Baker, with music, pink shirts, balloons and their dog. The sun came out for us in Sausalito as we headed up the coast for lunch. That evening, we gathered back at camp for a Candy Coburn concert.
We began our final day of walking in the rain, but the sun began to shine once we left the peaceful trails of the Presidio. We walked through Arguello Gate, into Golden Gate Park, passing the Conservatory of Flowers, the de Young Museum and the Japanese Tea Garden. Then we headed into downtown San Francisco to lunch at Mission Dolores Park with sweeping views of the city. Then it was into the Civic Center where the Oakland Fire Department had an impromptu dance party, and up into North Beach along Columbus Avenue. Our incredible journey ended with a celebratory Closing Ceremony at Marina Green.

A BIG HUGE GIGANTIC thank you to all my family and friends who donated to this amazing cause. Along with 1399 other walkers, you helped raise $3.7 million and I surpassed my personal goal by raising almost $2500! I also got to spend three memorable days doing something monumental to kick cancer’s ass in the process, along side my sister.

To read more about why I walk, please read my post Save The Ta-Tas.

While there are all ages, shapes, sizes and fitness levels on the course, walking 60 miles over the course of three days is not for the weak, in fact 50% of all participants don’t complete the full three days, so I am very proud of my sister and myself. We pushed ourselves to the limit and there were definitely many moments that I thought I couldn’t take one more step, but something…my inner stubbornness, my sister’s encouragement, an enthusiastic cheering station, or the cause itself kept me going and going and going.

Please visit Susan G. Komen for the Cure to find out more about this powerful event.

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Letters For Lucas

Posted on August 27, 2010 Written by Tonya

I can’t believe I have been at this for one year today! Over 300 posts.

Letters For Lucas has gone from what I thought would be a passing phase to an absolute necessity and something that I think about all.the.time. I enjoy writing more than ever and I am grateful for all of my readers and especially the comments that they leave.

This is my outlet and documentation of my son’s childhood and my life as his mother.

I am proud to be apart of the mommy blogging community, look forward to the next year and beyond and I’m thrilled to have Lucas’ dad guest posting here today for the first time.

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Lucas,

I know that I rarely call you by your name, but since this will be printed and is somewhat permanent, I’ll refrain from calling you Babu, Bubba, Crazy Larry or P. Your mom started this blog as a creative and social outlet in the hopes of helping her understand and enjoy a new role in life, motherhood. In her early posts, she wrote to you. Things progressed to her writing about you. Shortly thereafter, she began to very bravely write about herself. While you will appreciate the first two formats, it’s in the third where you will get to know her best. I, on the other hand, am a private and emotional person who will always share with his thoughts and feelings, but I plan to do it discretely. I’m a reluctant guest here, but I love your mom deeply, so I’ll share with you, 110 confirmed followers and god knows how many unregistered lurkers, some things I know about being your dad.

I wasn’t worried when we brought you home from the hospital. With nearly twenty hours of classroom style preparation, immaculate transportation, fully outfitted nursery and a college fund in place, I thought my next job was to continue looking cool and hand out cigars. Somewhere between five miles from the hospital and five days of being home, I realized that I had studied for the wrong test, you didn’t like riding in the car, you didn’t want to sleep anywhere but in a swing at the foot of our bed, college was a long way away, nobody looks cool without sleep and none of my friends or family smoke.

Watching every single recorded minute of the three-week-long 2009 Tour de France with your newborn son is heaven on earth. From Saturday, July 4 to Sunday, July 26 we watched the top cyclists in the world ride over 3500 kilometers. With a coffee in one hand and my month old son (you) in the other, getting up at 4:30 has never been so great. During the four-hour broadcast I got to watch you wiggle, yawn, sleep and hang out while your mom got a few hours of uninterrupted sleep. In case the 2009 TdF ever comes up in conversation, please remember that we (you and I) decided very early in the race that it was naïve of Johan Bruyneel and Lance Armstrong to expect a talent like Alberto Contador to serve as domestique to the aged seven-time champion. Contador danced on the pedals like a full-figured kid chasing an ice cream truck and earned his rightful spot on the podium.

I will never, ever forget how I felt the first time you were injured and to make matters worse, it was my fault. You were about seven months old and were really starting to enjoy rough play with me. I would roll you around on the bed while you laughed and laughed. I would stand you on my chest and say “Lucas you’re crushing me” while you stared in awe. Then one day you were laying on my chest and I rolled you off onto the couch unexpectedly. You landed on your little hand and I heard a few cracks (worse than cracking knuckles, but not quite bone breaking) and then you screamed. I felt awful. Within an instant I thought of every parent on every talk show explaining that they would rather have 10x the pain than watch their child struggle through what they had been through. Thank you for forgiving me faster than you could catch your breath. You’re a big man little buddy.

I assumed more risk than I should have while participating in the Targa Tasmania and living to tell about it will make me a better father. My friend Nick asked me to be his co-driver in the 2010 Targa Tasmania. This legendary five-day rally in Tasmania consists of thirty-nine individually timed stages on public roads that have been closed temporarily for racing. You were ten months old when your mom and I took you to Syndey where we spent a few days as tourists. From there, you and mom went to New Caledonia to see her friends while I met Nick in Melbourne where we picked up the Porsche 911 that we had entered in the race. Nick and I had discussed ad nauseam how we were there for fun and how our overall time didn’t matter. That’s an easy conversation to have over a Subway sandwich, but when strapped into a racecar and staring at a time clock on the start line, that argument enters your mind about as often as gas mileage. We were fast, consistent and getting better everyday until our enthusiasm exceeded our skill. Late on a wet and rainy day four, we took a corner way too fast, ran out of road and hit at tree, head on. Trees don’t move. They don’t absorb impact like when you hit another car or guardrail. We walked away from that impact with our egos and wallets bruised, but our bodies intact. We were lucky. All I could do from that moment on was think about seeing you and mom again at the Sydney airport. With tears in my eyes, I waited for you to pick me up at the airport. Your mom didn’t quite understand the look on my face, but when I hugged you both the way I did, she realized the incident was worse than I had explained on the phone. I was lucky enough to learn that lesson without being injured. Not everyone gets that chance.

Lucas, I promise not to do really dangerous things anymore. I will eat well, exercise, have moles inspected and go to the doctor at the first sign of a problem. I will do my best to be around for as long as possible. You and your mother mean the world to me and I cherish the responsibility that is on my shoulders.

Stay Blue

Posted on August 11, 2010 Written by Tonya

But my deepest and most secret love belongs to the fair-haired and the blue-eyed, the bright children of life, the happy, the charming and the ordinary. – Thomas Mann

All my life I have been complimented on my eye color. Strangers have asked me more than once if my eyes were real. As opposed to what, I’m not sure. They must have thought I was wearing colored contacts. My eyes are blue. Sometimes they are unbelievably blue depending on the color of the sky, my disposition or what I am wearing. I have only met two other people with eyes as blue as mine… my father and my son.

This is one of my favorite photos of me and my dad.

This is one of my favorite photos of Lucas.

I am so grateful that the three of us share this trait.

According to a Boston Globe articlewritten in 2006, blue eyes have become increasingly rare among American children, with only one out of every six or 16.6%, which is 49.8 million out of 300 million (22.4% of white Americans) of the total United States population having blue eyes.

Of course, I realize that Lucas’ eye color can still change at any time. My mother used to say that she was blond haired and blue-eyed until she was five and then magically, mysteriously she turned into a brown-eyed brunette.

Something tells that he’s going to stay blue.

The best is yet to be.

I wrote this post for Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop – Prompt #3: The most unbelievable blue eyes you’ve ever seen.

Aquarium Of The Pacific

Posted on August 8, 2010 Written by Tonya

Last week, Lucas and I visited the Aquarium of the Pacific in Long Beach for the first time with my friends Colleen and Wendi, their two little boys and my sister.

It was not my best mommy day.

I was on day four of Lucas’ dad being away and my patience was shot and nerves were fried. It was hot and very crowded and Lucas refused to eat and proceeded to scream his way through lunch. All he wanted to do was run around and be free of the stroller. Who can blame him, right?

Lucas loved being up close and personal with the sting rays and friendly sharks, but a 13 month old doesn’t quite understand the command “gentle, two fingers only”.

The water-squirting playground was a huge hit with all the boys, but next time, I’ll bring a towel and a change of clothes. For both of us!

It’s a beautiful aquarium and home to over 11,000 ocean animals and I highly recommend it if you are traveling to southern California.

The sea otter exhibit was our favorite. It was a lot of fun and dare I say, soothing to watch the silly energetic otters swim back and forth in their habitat.

The best is yet to be.

A Love Letter

Posted on August 4, 2010 Written by Tonya

Three years ago, I married my partner, lover and friend.

In just three short years, we have experienced the highest of highs and the lowest of lows.

A month and a half after we got married, my father-in-law underwent heart surgery for a congenital heart defect. He made it through with flying colors and today is better than ever, but this was a very emotional time for us as newlyweds.

A month later, both of my parents died of carbon monoxide poisoning while living and working as educators in Tunis, Tunisia. My husband was amazing during this, the saddest and most confusing time in my life. He took my younger sister and I under his wing and helped us plan a double funeral, a trip to Tunisia and navigated us through countless decisions regarding their estate.

During this time I could not give him what he gave me and I will forever be grateful. He listened and held me and encouraged me to do whatever I needed in order to adjust to my new “normal”.

While I walked into walls for nine months trying to keep my wits about me and a career I loved, we decided that the best thing for me to do would be to leave my job as a marketing manager to focus on my grief, settle my parents estate, spend time with family and start planning a family of our own.

With hope in our hearts, just 10 months later, we welcomed to the world our son Lucas. Our pride and joy and new reason for living.

In three years, we have made our house a home, taken wonderful trips together, cried together, laughed together, fought like cats and dogs, grown stronger as a couple and as individuals and made two three. We recently suffered a miscarriage but are slowly, but surely bouncing back stronger than ever. I can’t wait to see what our future holds.

A wedding anniversary is the celebration of love, trust, partnership, tolerance and tenacity. The order varies for any given year. – Paul Sweeney

I am so lucky to have found this incredible man to go through life with. A man that makes my toes curl and my blood boil; makes me laugh, makes me think and forces me *kicking and screaming* to be the best version of myself. He is a wonderful father and a good person.

I don’t say it enough, but I appreciate everything you do for me and us and I love you. Happy Anniversary, Todd. xoxo

The best is yet to be.

This is my 300th post!! How fitting that is a love letter to my husband because without this blog, I’d quite possibly be a bigger pain-in-the-ass than I already am!

Time Well Spent

Posted on June 24, 2010 Written by Tonya

We don’t own a piano, but I have always dreamed of having one simply to display dozens of photos across. Instead, we have this beautiful side board that does a pretty nice job.
I couldn’t choose just one photo to write about, so I chose all 15. As I reminisced and went back in time, here is what I thought:

What a goofy grin on my face! I can’t believe my husband not only took that photo just moments after I had completed my first (and only) half marathon, he had it blown up and framed so that I would always remember that pain… and pride.

My perfect wedding.

My husband and his parents – they are my family now too:

I have the best friends a girl could ever hope for:

I’m sad whenever I remember that this is the last photo that I ever got to take with my parents:

My dear, sweet sister, whom I sometimes feel a million miles away from, but always hold very close to my heart. Here we are after our first grueling day on the 3-Day Walk:

The joy and hopefulness in my eyes as I rest my hand on the new life in my belly:

My perfect baby just four weeks old:

My oldest and dearest friend in the world and all of our children together at last:

And then I actually did become inspired enough to write a poem:

They say a picture is worth a thousand words…

What if a thousand pictures were worth just one?
I’d say much easier said than done.

One word that fully encapsulates smiles, fun, tears and laughter,
Hopes, dreams and the happily ever afters?

Would it be: Happiness? Joy? Blessings? Love?
Ah, love, that’s fitting. After all, isn’t it the only word to speak of?

Photographs take us back and remind us of travel and distant places,
Moments with family and friends in possession of warm and familiar faces.

Our snap shots are displayed like treasures,
Out of love, in memory and for pleasure.

We capture, frame, post and share with everyone our two dimensional grins
But mostly, our photos are for our own selfish whims.

Whether they are in color, black-and-white or over exposed,
The images are not always of what is being proposed.

Were we just smiling for the sake of the lens,
Or were we truly satisfied with our lives and friends?

A sense of mystery can lie in each and every one,
“Why was I wearing this or that?”, “Look at my hair!” and “I didn’t know what was about to be done”.

Protect your memories and your photographs as if they were gold,
Something that can never be traded, bought or sold.

And remember, L-O-V-E is what they represent
And just gazing at them is time well spent.

The best is yet to be.

I wrote this post for Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop – Prompt #2: Write a poem about a picture.

Second Chances

Posted on May 26, 2010 Written by Tonya

I am finally doing something that my friend Natalie over at Mommy of a Monster (I Mean Toddler) and Infant Twinshas been encouraging me to do for a while now; enter Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop.

This meme is hosted by Mama’s Losin’ It each week she offers different prompts to chose from and you write about the one you picked, hence tapping into your more creative mommy side. So, here goes nothing!

Prompt #2: If you could do your wedding over again, how would you do it?

I was fortunate enough to have the gift of a wedding re-do and this time with the right groom!

My husband and I have been married for three years this August and like most brides, whenever I think about our wedding day, I feel all warm and happy inside. It was the perfect day.

My second wedding was exactly what I had wanted the first time around: small, intimate and all about the two of us and our love for our closest family and friends.

Since I had been married before and could care less about having another big princess/fairy tale-type shindig with everyone I have ever (or in some cases never) met as guests, we decided to keep it simple, yet elegant.

It was held in our home and we invited 40 guests (27 were in attendance).

You’d think with such a small gathering at home, planning would be a cinch.

Not the case.

All of the typical wedding planning frustrations over menu options, scheduling conflicts, budget constraints and discussions about cake flavors and invitation wording existed, but we had fun planning this amazing party and would both do it again.

We hired our favorite restaurant to cater, help with service, set-up and clean up. We hired a local Spanish guitarist to perform, rented tables, chairs, linens and glassware and asked a friend of a friend to make our cake. Champagne, beer and wine were purchased at Costco and I ordered my dress on Nordstrom.com. I was shocked when it actually fit, which has never happened to me before… EVER! It was the dress I was meant to wear.

One of the sweetest moments was when my sister sang an impromptu solo of “You Are The Sunshine Of My Life” and I love that after the cake was cut, our living room turned into Dance Party U.S.A.!!

Nope, I honestly wouldn’t change a single thing…. Okay, there was the sweaty photographer that we had my mother-in-law ask to leave shortly after dinner was served. To be fair, there just wasn’t enough for him to shoot. We stayed in the same location and he had the same three dozen guests as subjects.

I was pleased with his work and here are three of my favorite moments he captured:

Second changes are pretty rare and I count my lucky stars that I was able to have this one.

The best is yet to be.

Happy Day!

Posted on May 20, 2010 Written by Tonya

Just a photo today.

The best is yet to be.

Photo Highlights From Our Trip Down Under

Posted on May 5, 2010 Written by Tonya

As promised, here are some photo highlights from our trip:

Mommy and Lucas in the Circle Quay (Sydney Harbor and Opera House).

Sophie and Lucas – Lunch at Le Méridien hotel.

Jammie time for Emma, Noemi and Lucas.

Visit to the Noumea City Aquarium.

A day at the beach – Lucas’ first time in the Pacific Ocean.

While Lucas and I were enjoying the sun and surf on the island of New Caledonia, Daddy was driving in the Targa Tasmania and on Day 4/5, his partner crashed their car into a tree. Thankfully, no one was hurt.

Best friends and their children.

Our trip to the Sydney Zoo. Look at their view… lucky giraffes!

The best is yet to be.

Day 71/100

Week One

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