Letters For Lucas

Wonders, Mishaps, Blunders and Joy.. commentary on my life as a mom in the form of letters to my son

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I Have

Posted on October 26, 2011 Written by Tonya

I am 39 years old and I have:

1. Jumped out of an airplane (tandem).

2. Been on a safari in Kenya.

3. Climbed a pyramid in Egypt.

4. Gone to the airport to meet friends and family when they’ve had layovers.

5. Lent money to someone and never expected it back.

6. Drank milk out of the carton.

7. Taken Lucas to Disneyland by myself. TWICE!

8. Lived in a perpetual state of missing someone.

9. Walked across the Golden Gate Bridge.

3-Day Walk, San Francisco - October, 2010

10. Fell in love with the Eiffel Tower the very first time I saw it. I was 10 and have been blessed to have seen five more times.

11. Been voted “Best Groomed” in high school. What am I a dog?

12. Earned an Outstanding Customer Service award.

13. Delivered a child with no drugs. By choice.

14. Cried myself to sleep.

15. Seen the Dave Matthews Band in concert two dozen times.

I heart DMB!

16. Been to a movie by myself.

18. Thrown a surprise party.

19. Been in three car accidents. All my fault.

Accident #3, 2008

20. Gotten ooey gooey weak in the knees when my husband smiles at me.

21. Stayed up WAY past my bedtime. Nightly.

22. Three tattoos.

This post was written for Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop, Prompt 1.) Last week we wrote about what we have never done… (Check out my I Never list here.) this week write a list of 22 things you HAVE done. (inspired by Sellabit Mom)

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Filed Under: 3-day, disneyland, DMB, friends, list, loss, mama kat's writer's workshop, pregnancy, TBW, travel Tagged With: DMB, friends, list, loss, mama kat's writer's workshop, natural child birth, pregnancy, TBW, travel

The Summer Of ’69

Posted on September 26, 2011 Written by Tonya

Every now and then I have an undeniable and almost desperate need to be with family, members of my parents family that is.

Specifically my father’s family.

I want to talk about my father, ask questions and hear anecdotes about when he was a boy, a young man, how he was as a brother, an uncle and a friend.

I want to remember and hear about him being alive.

Last weekend, my sister and I took Lucas to visit our aunt and uncle (my father’s middle brother). We haven’t seen one another since Lucas was four months old.

Since my father died, seeing my uncle David will always be bittersweet. The resemblance to my father is uncanny and their mannerisms are so similar. I loved witnessing my uncle interact with Lucas. His tone and actions are so much like I imagine my father’s would be had he lived to be a grandparent. 

One of the highlights of this trip, aside from being with family, was seeing the church my parents were married in 42 years ago on August 23, 1969.

Luckily, my sister carries this photo with her in her wallet. This awful reproduction was taken with my phone and the photo was just what we needed to confirm the exact side of the church my newlywed parents must have exited through, as there are many!

What dreams did they have have for themselves and their future together at the moment this photo was taken. Were they scared? Confident in their choice of life partners? Nervous about the journey that lie ahead, or simply deliriously happy and in love? I hope it was a combination of all four.

Family history is so important. It not only tells us who we are and where we come from, but it helps us remember when we are sad and it is one of the main reasons that I write, so that Lucas may know his (and me) better.

Family history is preserved through our children.

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Filed Under: family, grandparents, KRA, loss, marriage, memories, milestones, MSA, photos, travel, wedding Tagged With: family, grandparents, KRA, loss, marriage, memories, milestones, MSA, photos, travel, wedding

Riding In Cars With Boys

Posted on September 26, 2011 Written by Tonya

My sister, Lucas and I just returned from Dallas, where we had a wonderful visit with our aunt and uncle. Traveling with a tot is always an adventure and I have written about it before here and here. As usual, Lucas was great on the plane and owned his “star of the weekend” status like a trouper.

More on our trip in a later post…

For me, our long weekend adventure began in the car on the way to the airport. There was a time when Lucas hated being in the car because he hated being in his car seat, but nowadays, he is talkative and observant and the longer we have to drive, the more chatty he gets. His vocabulary and recall continue to amazes me.

In the hour it took us to get to LAX, when he wasn’t joyfully singing or chattering to himself, he:

  • Pointed out the picture of the globe on the side of a U-Haul truck and colorful balloons at car dealerships. Every. single. one.
  • At each traffic light, Lucas explained how red means stop, green means go and yellow says “slow down, everyone”.
  • Notified me when he had dropped his sippy cup and then would periodically ask me for it.
  • Shouted out purple, turquoise (yes, turquoise), orange, pink and taxi cars.
  • Counted the number of birds flying by and every airplane we saw as we got closer to the airport, reminding him of our destination and fun weekend plans, which we would we would then review over and over again.
  • Recognized not one, but two Ikeas and emphatically announced that we should go back there someday. He’s right, it has been a while. He also mistook a Best Buy for an Ikea, which I may have done before too.
  • Wanted to call Daddy, only to clam up and become silent once we reached him. 

Our trip hadn’t even begun and I was already exhausted. Why is just listening to a child so tiring?

Apparently I wasn’t the only one…


Once we arrived in Texas, it was all about water tower and train spotting.

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Filed Under: aunt leah, car seat, cars, family, happy thoughts, photos, praise, travel Tagged With: aunt leah, car seat, family, photo, praise, travel

Dinner & Song

Posted on September 21, 2011 Written by Tonya

I don’t think this needs any introduction and I hope it makes you smile.

You can check out my sweet boy singing Twinkle Twinkle Little Star here.

Lucas and I (and aunt Leah) are off to Dallas to visit my aunt and uncle, have a great weekend, everyone!

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Filed Under: aunt leah, family, music, simple joys, travel, video Tagged With: aunt leah, family, music, simple joys, travel, video

The Summer That Was

Posted on September 1, 2011 Written by Tonya

If Memorial Day marks the beginning of summer, Labor Day marks the end.

Sigh…

Here are our summer highlights:

We celebrated someone turning two with a bounce house party and someone else (gulp) turning 39 on a Duffy boat. Both parties included cupcakes!

There were toes in the sand, afternoons spent in wet bathing suits and sun screen applied almost daily.

There were trips to the park, sweet treats devoured and rainbows found while sailing on the ocean.

We had fun at the circus, on the water pad at Legoland and met idols at Disneyland.

There was a girls’ weekend in Palm Springs, a blog conference in San Diego and a glorious week in Hawaii.

Lucas started school and we have already proudly covered our refrigerator with adorable art work.

There was a visit to Grandma and Grandpa’s house and a mini roller coaster ride with fearless cousins.

It was a great summer, full of milestones and memories.

Photobucket
Wishing everyone a happy and safe Labor Day weekend!

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Filed Under: birthdays, blog conference, disneyland, friends, holidays, memories, milestones, outing, photos, play, school, summer, travel Tagged With: birthdays, blog conference, disneyland, friends, holidays, memories, milestones, outing, photos, play, school, summer, travel

Aloha!

Posted on August 8, 2011 Written by Tonya

I’m back from vacation, home from BlogHer ’11, my mind is reeling and my heart is full. Oh, and I have a brand new blog design!

Over the next few days, I’ll be working with my amazing design and WordPress team (Kristi and Ashley and anyone else willing to help me!!) to work through the bugs and improve navigation, so please bear with me. I am so excited to be on WordPress, but know that it is going to take some time to learn a new platform.

Before I share my BlogHer ’11 experience, I want to share some highlights from our trip to Hawaii.

Our time in Maui was a lot of fun, but to be honest, a week is a long time to be away from home. Particularly with a toddler. Lucas did great on the flights there and back, but by Day 4 was starting to get ornery and talking about all of his favorite things back home, including his favorite babysitter. Gulp!

Here’s my high/low list, starting with the good stuff first!

  • The whole reason for our trip was to attend our friends Aaron and Paige’s wedding and it was absolutely beautiful! Two of only 40 guests, it was truly a pleasure to witness. On the beach. At sunset. Sigh…
  • Paige is a friend of Todd’s from college, so I got the opportunity to meet/make some new friends.
  • The bluest blues, greenest greens and warmest sunshine.

The view from our hotel room. Sigh!

  • Todd and I went snorkeling, one of our favorite things to do and saw beautiful fish and a turtle and then back in our hotel room, a large group of dolphins swimming right outside our window.

Yes, I am a huge dork!

  •  The bride and groom arranged for a morning yoga class on the beach that was amazing and reminded me how much I miss practicing.

Beach Yoga Bliss.

  • After much hesitation, I finally jumped off this cliff! I have never felt so old in my life, not to mention terrified.

Black Rock at Sheraton Maui.

Now for the not so great:

  • Even though we ordered a crib for our room, Lucas at 34″ would have nothing to do with it. He’s been in a “big boy bed” for four months, so I couldn’t blame him. On the other hand, he had to sleep somewhere and that ended up being right between Mommy and Daddy. None of us were used to this and therefore none of us slept very well the entire trip. Think arms in your face and swift kicks to your back.
  • We lost Lucas’ lovey somewhere between checking into our hotel and getting settled into our room. Luckily after searching everywhere and calling lost and found, it was recovered. NOTE TO SELF: Next trip, pack two, just in case!
  • A fire alarm woke us on our first night scaring Lucas half to death. I have never seen him so frightened. He was shaking and holding on to me tighter than anyone ever has and it took him a long time to get back to sleep. Lucas brought up the loud noise the rest of the trip. Poor buddy.
  • While on a boat ride and taking a self-roid family photo, Todd accidentally dropped his iPhone into the Pacific Ocean. He barely skipped a beat, where as if that had happened to me, I would have been crying like a baby! It’s situations like this that reinforce what a good match we are.
  • And speaking of photos, on Day 4 of our trip we discovered that 80+ photos had vanished from our camera. I’m still sick over this. I did my best to make up for it over the course of the rest of our trip, only to find out that all of the new photos disappeared too. Ugh!

The good outweighed the bad and for that I am grateful.  

Directly from Hawaii I headed to San Diego for BlogHer ’11. I’m still in the process of decompressing, unpacking, reconnecting with my family and laundry, but promise to share my thoughts on one of the best weekends ever soon!

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Filed Under: friends, iphone, list, memories, photos, redesign, travel Tagged With: iphone, list. friends, memories, photos, redesign, travel, wedding

A Tot In Tow

Posted on July 26, 2011 Written by Tonya

Lucas’ first time on an airplane was August 14, 2009. He was just nine weeks old.

Lucas’ First Flight! SAN —> SJC en route to Monterrey.

Thank goodness my mother-in-law was with me to help out because Lucas had a blow out of the yucky disgusting nature (his one of only four EVER) mid-flight and I was stuck in the bathroom with him and left his diaper bag with a clean change of clothes back at my seat. Such a rookie move!

Even so, Lucas was A LOT easier to travel with back then (he used to sleep the entire flight) than he is now.

Since that first flight, I have flown solo to the Bay Area (an hour, 20 gate-to-gate) with Lucas a dozen times to visit my in-laws and Todd and I have taken him to Europe and Australia. At this point, I consider myself an expert at traveling with a tot in tow.

Now, having said that, as we are getting ready for our summer vacation, a week in Hawaii (!!), the thing I’m most stressed about is the flight there and back. 

Five hours in a confined space makes me crazy enough, but add an energetic toddler to the mix and it could be a nightmare.

I am not claiming to be an expert on any of this, but here’s what usually works for us: 

  • Book your flight for first thing in the morning, when children are usually at their best or around nap or bedtime, in hopes that they will sleep.
  • Before you even get to the airport, explain where you’re going and how you’re going to get there. Airports and airplanes can be scary for small children; there are lots of people scurrying about, long lines, loud noises, etc. 
  • Let your child be a part of the packing process. Allow them to pick out a couple of favorite items to bring on the plane in addition to having something stowed away in the suitcase to “meet” them at your destination.
  • Once at the airport, spend a lot of time walking around. You want to tire your child out and burn off some of that extra energy so they can sit still for some of the flight.   
  • Load up your iPhone, iPod, iPad or other favorite electronic device with photos and videos of your child. Lucas loves seeing footage of himself. Just don’t forget to completely charge your device! Many airports have outlets at the gate, so plug in before you board.
  • Download your child’s favorite television show to enjoy mid-flight. Most episodes of Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, Chuggington and Sesame Street are $1.99 – $2.99 each.
  • Download tried and true toddler-friendly apps, such as: Talking Tom Cat and Toddler Puzzle Shapes, which are both free and ABC Train and Voice Cards, which range from $.99 – $1.99 each.
  • Be sure to bring your child’s favorite snacks and lots of them. You never know if you might get stuck on the tarmac waiting for a gate or have an unexpected delay before even taking off.
  • Buy some inexpensive books and toys to introduce to your child during the flight but not all at once, spread them out and don’t forget to hold on to a couple of new items for the plane ride home. It’s very important that these are items your child hasn’t seen before. The Target dollar bins are great for this! Avoid anything that makes noise so as not to disrupt fellow passengers or items that are round, as they may roll down the aisles. I don’t like crayons or markers for this reason.
  • Make sure to pack an extra change of clothes, not only for your tot, but you too! At the very least, a clean t-shirt. Kids get messy, drinks spill and inevitably it all ends up on mom.   
  • It should go without saying, but carry extra diapers. Just before we got on the plane heading to Florence, I forgot to calculate our layover time in Paris and while I know European babies wear diapers too, I panicked fearing we wouldn’t have enough or be able to find them, so we scoured LAX looking for a small package. $20 (for 10!) later we were covered.  
  • Airports and airplanes are crawling with germs, so carry Wet-Ones and hand sanitizer and use them frequently while traveling. I wipe down the arm rests, the tray table and hands all through our trip.
  • And speaking of germs and other yucky stuff, pack a couple of zip-lock bags for soiled clothing in case your child throws up. No one wants to smell that! 
  • In my experience, the ground crew, TSA and flight attendants have always been very helpful. If you need help, just ask! Fellow passengers are typically sympathetic to your situation too, especially if you are traveling with your child alone and will help out if you need them too. 
  • If a flight attendant doesn’t offer, be sure to ask for a set of wings and if it’s your child’s first flight, most airlines have keepsake certificates.
  • If all of the above fails, go through the SkyMall catalog page by page together and look for pictures of cats and dogs. Trust me on this. And please remember, you aren’t ever going to see the people on your flight again, so whatever happens, happens. At least you did it!

I hope these tips help you prepare for your next flight with your child, and if you have any advice to share, let me know!

This is a post that I have been thinking about for a while and just hadn’t gotten around to writing, so a big thank you to Jessica of My Time As Mom for sending @camgosha of Bibs & Baubles my way on Twitter the other night seeking advice on traveling with children. I hope you had a great trip. 

 post signature

Related Posts:

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  • The Summer Of ’69
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Filed Under: grandparents, list, milestones, photos, travel Tagged With: advice, grandparents, list, milestones, photos, travel

Two Weeks From Today

Posted on July 13, 2011 Written by Tonya

I can’t wait! 

Two weeks from today, we are going to be in…

And yes, Lucas is coming too. 

Happy happy! Joy joy!


This post was written for Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop, Prompt 5.) On a piece of paper write down something that makes you happy…take a photo of your paper and voilà…there’s your post.

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Filed Under: happy thoughts, mama kat's writer's workshop, photos, travel, vacation Tagged With: happy thoughts, mama kat's writer's workshop, photos, travel, vacation

Reflections On 39 Years

Posted on June 26, 2011 Written by Tonya

It’s my birthday and in my 39 short years on this planet, I have…

1. moved 27 times.
2. owned five cars.
3. ran a 1/2 marathon.
4. sky dived in Tucson, Arizona and scuba dived in Port Elizabeth, South Africa.
5. learned that money can’t buy happiness, but it can make things a little easier.
6. graduated from college.
7. been fired from, laid off and quit three different jobs.
8. learned that everything in moderation is the best way to live.
9. been a bridesmaid four times and a bride twice.
10. attended approximately 39 concerts (15 of which were Dave Matthews shows).
11. learned that change is unavoidable.
12. been on a road trip (15+ hours round trip) by myself.
13. broken my collar bone.
14. been in five car accidents (three of which were my fault).
15. gotten three tattoos (and want at least one more).
16. walked 180 miles in three 3-Day Walks for breast cancer research.
17. thrown a surprise party.
18. climbed the pyramids, hiked into the Grand Canyon, kissed at the top of the Eiffel Tower and walked across the Golden Gate Bridge.
19. realized that family, no matter how often you see one another is important. 
20. learned that you can get grey hair and acne at the same time. Unfair and annoying, but true. 
21. won a sewing contest in the third grade, the leading role in a school play when I was a Senior in high school, a customer service award once I started working and two giveaways from blogs I read.
22. never had to be bailed out of jail.
23. learned that home is where the heart is.
24. swam with dolphins in Mexico and zip-lined in Costa Rica.
25. been the first one to apologize and the first one to walk away.  
26. learned that music really can save your mortal soul.
27. discovered that asking for help is not a weakness, but a strength.
28. called 911 twice (not for Lucas, thank goodness!)
29. collected more books than I’ll ever be able to read.
30. watched every single episode of Sex & the City, Alias and Grey’s Anatomy.
31. attended the Grammy’s and Emmy’s.
32. learned that a vast majority of people can be worn over with a smile and a little kindness. 
33. been blessed with the best friends a girl could ask for.
34. only wanted the very best for my sister, Leah.
35. never missed my parents more than I do today, except maybe tomorrow.
36. had more perfect moments than one person should be allowed.
37. made a baby with a man I admire, love and respect.
38. never tired of hearing “Mommy”. 
39. a lot more living to do and tons more to learn.

Here’s looking forward to the next 39 years!
post signature

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Filed Under: 3-day, aunt leah, DMB, love, milestones, travel Tagged With: 3-day, aunt leah, DMB, love, milestones, travel

Jet Setter

Posted on June 22, 2011 Written by Tonya

Voluptuous and simple – the world is larger than one had thought. – Denise Levertov

I grew up overseas so I have been fortunate to see a lot of the world, but there are still places I want to visit.

Topping my list right now, in the order of which they may be visited, are:

Palm Springs – I know, I know, I was just there (read all about my recent trip here) and it’s only 90 minutes from my front door, but I am craving some consistent sunlight, lounging by the pool with the latest celebrity gossip magazines, a good book and yummy cocktails with cool names like “The Julie”; and some alone time with my husband. For the record, all the other destinations on my list will include Lucas.

Vancouver, Canada – My husband spent nine months in Vancouver several years ago and has always spoken so highly of his experience, the scenery, the accessibility to nature and outdoor activities and the people. The way he talks about it makes me want to go!

Greece – Ever since I saw Captain Corelli’s Mandolin, The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants and Mama Mia, I have wanted to go to Greece. All terrible movies, but the stark contrast between the gorgeous blue Mediterranean sea and white buildings, the rich history and authentic sadziki are all very alluring.    

  

My list of “must see” destinations is never ending… Croatia, the Galapagos, Ireland and Tokyo are high on the list too. 

I would also love to take Lucas on an African safari one day. There’s nothing else on earth like being within 30 feet of an elephant, lion, zebra or giraffe. To date, that has been my favorite trip. 
 
Where do you want to go?

This post was written for Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop, Prompt 4.) A country you would like to visit.

post signature

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Filed Under: mama kat's writer's workshop, question, quotes, travel Tagged With: mama kat's writer's workshop, question, travel

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