Letters For Lucas

Wonders, Mishaps, Blunders and Joy.. commentary on my life as a mom in the form of letters to my son

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A Tot In Tow

Posted on July 26, 2011 Written by Tonya

Lucas’ first time on an airplane was August 14, 2009. He was just nine weeks old.

Lucas’ First Flight! SAN —> SJC en route to Monterrey.

Thank goodness my mother-in-law was with me to help out because Lucas had a blow out of the yucky disgusting nature (his one of only four EVER) mid-flight and I was stuck in the bathroom with him and left his diaper bag with a clean change of clothes back at my seat. Such a rookie move!

Even so, Lucas was A LOT easier to travel with back then (he used to sleep the entire flight) than he is now.

Since that first flight, I have flown solo to the Bay Area (an hour, 20 gate-to-gate) with Lucas a dozen times to visit my in-laws and Todd and I have taken him to Europe and Australia. At this point, I consider myself an expert at traveling with a tot in tow.

Now, having said that, as we are getting ready for our summer vacation, a week in Hawaii (!!), the thing I’m most stressed about is the flight there and back. 

Five hours in a confined space makes me crazy enough, but add an energetic toddler to the mix and it could be a nightmare.

I am not claiming to be an expert on any of this, but here’s what usually works for us: 

  • Book your flight for first thing in the morning, when children are usually at their best or around nap or bedtime, in hopes that they will sleep.
  • Before you even get to the airport, explain where you’re going and how you’re going to get there. Airports and airplanes can be scary for small children; there are lots of people scurrying about, long lines, loud noises, etc. 
  • Let your child be a part of the packing process. Allow them to pick out a couple of favorite items to bring on the plane in addition to having something stowed away in the suitcase to “meet” them at your destination.
  • Once at the airport, spend a lot of time walking around. You want to tire your child out and burn off some of that extra energy so they can sit still for some of the flight.   
  • Load up your iPhone, iPod, iPad or other favorite electronic device with photos and videos of your child. Lucas loves seeing footage of himself. Just don’t forget to completely charge your device! Many airports have outlets at the gate, so plug in before you board.
  • Download your child’s favorite television show to enjoy mid-flight. Most episodes of Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, Chuggington and Sesame Street are $1.99 – $2.99 each.
  • Download tried and true toddler-friendly apps, such as: Talking Tom Cat and Toddler Puzzle Shapes, which are both free and ABC Train and Voice Cards, which range from $.99 – $1.99 each.
  • Be sure to bring your child’s favorite snacks and lots of them. You never know if you might get stuck on the tarmac waiting for a gate or have an unexpected delay before even taking off.
  • Buy some inexpensive books and toys to introduce to your child during the flight but not all at once, spread them out and don’t forget to hold on to a couple of new items for the plane ride home. It’s very important that these are items your child hasn’t seen before. The Target dollar bins are great for this! Avoid anything that makes noise so as not to disrupt fellow passengers or items that are round, as they may roll down the aisles. I don’t like crayons or markers for this reason.
  • Make sure to pack an extra change of clothes, not only for your tot, but you too! At the very least, a clean t-shirt. Kids get messy, drinks spill and inevitably it all ends up on mom.   
  • It should go without saying, but carry extra diapers. Just before we got on the plane heading to Florence, I forgot to calculate our layover time in Paris and while I know European babies wear diapers too, I panicked fearing we wouldn’t have enough or be able to find them, so we scoured LAX looking for a small package. $20 (for 10!) later we were covered.  
  • Airports and airplanes are crawling with germs, so carry Wet-Ones and hand sanitizer and use them frequently while traveling. I wipe down the arm rests, the tray table and hands all through our trip.
  • And speaking of germs and other yucky stuff, pack a couple of zip-lock bags for soiled clothing in case your child throws up. No one wants to smell that! 
  • In my experience, the ground crew, TSA and flight attendants have always been very helpful. If you need help, just ask! Fellow passengers are typically sympathetic to your situation too, especially if you are traveling with your child alone and will help out if you need them too. 
  • If a flight attendant doesn’t offer, be sure to ask for a set of wings and if it’s your child’s first flight, most airlines have keepsake certificates.
  • If all of the above fails, go through the SkyMall catalog page by page together and look for pictures of cats and dogs. Trust me on this. And please remember, you aren’t ever going to see the people on your flight again, so whatever happens, happens. At least you did it!

I hope these tips help you prepare for your next flight with your child, and if you have any advice to share, let me know!

This is a post that I have been thinking about for a while and just hadn’t gotten around to writing, so a big thank you to Jessica of My Time As Mom for sending @camgosha of Bibs & Baubles my way on Twitter the other night seeking advice on traveling with children. I hope you had a great trip. 

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Filed Under: grandparents, list, milestones, photos, travel Tagged With: advice, grandparents, list, milestones, photos, travel

My Summer Reading List

Posted on July 25, 2011 Written by Tonya

Try as I might, I could not get this under four minutes so thank you for watching!

Please let me know if you have questions about my recommendations and definitely share your thoughts too.

In order in which I discussed, my summer reading list includes:

One Amazing Thing – Chitra Divakaruni
Sing You Home – Jodi Picoult
Room – Emma Donoghue
Up From The Blue – Susan Henderson
Incendiary – Chris Cleve
The Writing Circle – Corinne Demas 

What are you reading this summer?!

This post is for Vlog Talk. The prompt I chose was #1 Your summer reading list.


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Filed Under: book review, me time, question, video, vlog talk

Green Things

Posted on July 24, 2011 Written by Tonya

1. Kermit the Frog – the cutest frog I know.

2.Food – kale, Granny Smith apples, green beans, edamame, tea, cucumbers, jalapenos, limes (okay, now I’m thinking about margaritas!)

3. Emeralds – although I prefer sapphires.

4. Ireland – a place on my must visit list.

5. Grass
6. My BFF’s eyes
7. The last shirt I purchased:
The Gap Satin-Trim Tank – $29.95

8. Shades – kelly, hunter, camouflage, moss, chartreuse, olive, neon

9. Mother Earth 

10. Show me the… No green list would be complete without it …wait for it… MONEY, moolah, dough, bacon, bucks, bills, dollars or cash!

This post was inspired by Stasha’s Monday Listicles, a linky right up my alley!

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Filed Under: clothes, list, monday listicles Tagged With: clothes, list, monday listicles

What I’m Wearing To BlogHer ’11

Posted on July 23, 2011 Written by Tonya

Last year this time I was bitter about all the BlogHer blog posts and tweets because I wasn’t going, so if you aren’t able to attend this year or couldn’t care less, please bear with me as I share one of my own…

Even though I know it doesn’t really matter what I wear to BlogHer ’11 or any blogging conference for that matter, I do want to look my best and let’s face it, as a stay-at-home mom, I don’t get the opportunity to dress up very often. 

Plus, I was feeling the pressure when I saw Nichole of In These Small Moments had a Pinterest board dedicated to her BlogHer ’11 attire wish list and upon further research discovered she wasn’t the only one. 

Then I read all three of Morgan’s (The Little Hen House) posts, What Not to Wear: The BlogHer ’11 Fashion Edition, Weekend Post: More BlogHer ’11 Fashion and BlogHer ’11 Fashion: For the Curvy Woman and decided it really should matter how I dress for the biggest blogging conference of the year. 

Enter: my friend, Nancy of Inside Out, Wardrobe Rehab.

If you missed my post on Tuesday, My Wardrobe Rehab Experience, Nancy helped me go through my closet, buy some new, much needed items and has helped me get geared up for BlogHer ’11.

The only requirements I gave Nancy were: I want to be comfortable, especially in the shoe department and I need looks that can take me from day to night. 

Here’s what we’ve come up with based solely on what I already had in my closet, in other words, I have NOT purchased anything new to wear to BlogHer ’11.

DAY 1: Striped CAbi blazer, light green Ann Taylor Loft blouse, Ann Taylor Loft tailored jeans with tan (both Aldo) wedges (haven’t decided which pair yet).
DAY 2: Red Ann Taylor Loft blouse, black-and-white floral A-line Ann Taylor Loft skirt with black wedge.
DAY 3: Ann Taylor Loft grey stripe seersucker pants and matching blazer (or white cardigan from The Gap) and navy Ann Taylor Loft blouse with TBD shoes. I am bound and determined to find a pair of silver flats!
NIGHT 3: Same seersucker pants as above or white trousers and hot pink tank from Old Navy with silver heels.

All outfits are subject to change and yes, I am aware that NIGHTS 1 and 2 are missing. A girl’s gotta have some secrets.

If you’re going to BlogHer ’11 too, please let me know, I’d love to meet you and in the meantime, please visit Nancy’s Inside Out, Wardrobe Rehab’s Website/blog, follow her on Twitter and Facebook.

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Filed Under: blog conference, clothes, friends

This Is Just The Beginning…

Posted on July 21, 2011 Written by Tonya

In less than two weeks Lucas will be attending preschool. It’s crazy, I know! How did he get to be such a big boy? I feel like we just brought him home from the hospital, swaddled him and were protecting his head, but like it or not, here we are getting ready for his first day of school.

I am really excited for all the new things Lucas is going experience and learn, expert direction he is going to receive, friends he’s going to make and fun he is going to have. I loved school and I hope he does to!

Child’s Full Name

Address

Parent’s Names

Signature

I just read, filled in the blanks and signed more than a dozen pieces of paper with my son’s new school’s insignia prominently placed at the top of each page.

Physician’s Name

Known Allergies

Diet Pattern 

Signature 

While easy to answer these questions about my son, his habits and his health, each one made me a little sadder than the last. He’s only two.

In Case of an Emergency Contact 

Nap Schedule 

Parent’s Evaluation of Child’s Personality 

Signature 

So many signatures.

I feel like it’s time, I agreed it was time, but now that we are just days away, I’m second guessing myself. Are we doing the right thing by sending Lucas to preschool?

Field Trip Permission Slip

Children’s Disaster/Earthquake Kit

Permission to Photograph

Parent Handbook

For so long, it’s been me and Lucas, Monday through Saturday, 8 – 10 hours a day. Day in and day out.

Just us.

I know I’m only giving him up nine hours a week, but it feels like so much more than that. This feels like it’s just the beginning of him being pulled away from me…

…and I’m going to miss him.

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Filed Under: a mother's guilt, school Tagged With: a mother's guilt, school

Simple Things

Posted on July 20, 2011 Written by Tonya

  1. a little me time
  2. a lot of us time
  3. a vase full of bright cherry sunflowers
  4. a book I can’t put down
  5. a full moon
  6. a colorful garden
  7. a round trip ticket
  8. a wink
  9. a front porch light
  10. a letter in the mailbox
  11. a promise kept
  12. a secret shared
  13. a child’s contagious laughter
  14. a perfect souffle
  15. a wishing well
  16. a meaningful kiss
  17. a quiet moment
  18. a kind gesture
  19. a new friend
  20. a car wash
  21. a door being held open
  22. a discount
  23. a green light
  24. a brilliant sunset
  25. a warm welcome
  26. a pair of worn in slippers
  27. a smaller size
  28. a new episode
  29. a great opportunity
  30. a hotdog at a baseball game
  31. a catchy tune
  32. a clean set of sheets
  33. a walk along the beach
  34. a ladybug
  35. a brighter shade
  36. a chance encounter
  37. a change for the better
  38. a hand to hold
  39. a view from the top
  40. a wagging tail on a puppy
  41. a Ferris wheel
  42. a fresh perspective 
  43. a full-bodied Cabernet
  44. a familiar touch
  45. a pile of leaves
  46. a second chance
  47. along hot shower
  48. a fresh manicure
  49. a visit to the zoo
  50. a smile 
 This post was written for Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop, Prompt 1.) The simple things…

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My Latest Obsession

Posted on July 19, 2011 Written by Tonya

Thanks to my friend, Lisa, whom I had the pleasure of lunching with last week, I have been introduced to one of the most delicious (non alcoholic) drinks I have ever tasted. 

And I’m not just being dramatic. 

Since the juice cleanse my husband and I did in February (you can read all about it here), I have grown to love tea. I despise coffee, so I’m not one to frequent Starbucks, Coffee Bean, Peet’s or any other coffee chain, but I’ve been six times since last Tuesday. At $3.75 a pop, this could get expensive. 

If you haven’t tasted it, run, don’t walk to your favorite local barista and get yourself an Iced Chai Tea Latte (with Vanilla) on the double! You can thank me later.

This post is for Wordful Wednesdays and if you want to link up and see some really beautiful photographs, please visit Project Alicia.

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Filed Under: favorite products, friends, me time, photos, wordful wendesdays

My Wardrobe Rehab Experience

Posted on July 19, 2011 Written by Tonya

On a typical day, here’s how you’ll find me dressed:

The unofficial official stay-at-home mom uniform: yoga pants, sports bra, tank top and sneakers. Despite how unglamorous this outfit is, I stand behind it; versatile, functional, comfy.

Last October, I wrote a post called What Not To Wear, where I lamented about the awful state of my closet and my need for an overhaul. In my post I mentioned my friend, Nancy, the best-dressed, most stylish person I know.

Nine months ago, Nancy was contemplating the idea of starting her own personal stylist business. Well, she’s done it and I was lucky enough to be one of her first projects clients!

With a closet full of every size under the sun, clothes that didn’t go with my SAHM lifestyle and client meetings, date nights and blog conferences that I longed to “dress up” for, I needed some major help. In other words, I was in need of some style of my own.

Nancy’s company, Inside Out, Wardrobe Rehab entails a three-phase process: 1) Closet Overhaul, 2) Shopping and 3) Putting It All Together.  My experience spanned from March – July and honestly, I’ve never felt or dressed better.

1) Closet Overhaul was my favorite part. I love purging! It was so great having someone there with me as I tried on articles of clothing that have been in my closet for far too long and getting a second set of (honest) eyes to confirm that it was time to let go. I ended up donating nearly 50 items!

2) The Shopping phase was the most difficult for me because I’m not a big fan of clothes shopping in general and it was difficult for me to see what Nancy was seeing with some of the selections, but I trusted her and ended with some fabulous pieces that are timeless and will last forever.

3) Putting It All Together consisted of just that; creating complete outfits with what I already had in my wardrobe paired with my newly purchased items.

Here are a couple of my new looks:


Thank you for helping me bring my inner fashionista out, Nancy!

Among many of the fashion tips and tricks Nancy taught me, my four best take-aways were: 

  1. Find a good tailor! All pockets can be sewn shut or removed completely and pants can (and often times should) be hemmed.
  2. I look really good in bright colors, something I would have normally avoided.
  3. A blazer and a necklace can do wonders for any outfit.
  4. Nancy is awesome! Well, actually I already knew this, but her business, professionalism and fashion sense are amazing and I know, if she can help me, she can help anyone with their own wardrobe rehab.

If you have any questions about the clothes pictured above or my experience, feel free to ask.

Stay tuned for an upcoming post on some of the outfits Nancy has helped me put together for BlogHer ’11… God bless her!

And meanwhile, please check out Inside Out, Wardrobe Rehab’s Website/blog, follow her on Twitter and Facebook for great fashion tips and advice on everything from finding the perfect dress to wear to a wedding, dressing for an interview and packing for your summer vacation.

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Filed Under: blog conference, clothes, friends, me time, SAHM Tagged With: blog conference, clothes, friends, Inside Out Wardrobe Rehab, me time, SAHM

10 Words I Could Live Without

Posted on July 17, 2011 Written by Tonya

These words make me cringe. They are negative, give me the creeps or just sound awful to my ears and therefore I avoid them at all costs! 

1. mistake – This word always makes me think of a thick, juicy steak. Stupid, right? But why use ‘mistake’ when ‘boo-boo’ is so much more fun to say? Try it.

2. corny – You’ll never hear this word come out of my mouth. Ew.

3. moist – I think this is on everyone’s words to avoid list and if it isn’t, it should be. Double ew. 

4. cheesy –See above. Although, if I can’t think of anything better, I’m WAY more likely to say ‘cheesy’ than ‘corny’.

5. mine & no – Living with a toddler, I hear both all day every day.  

6. folks – ‘People’, ‘parents’, even ‘peeps’ all sound so much more… civilized. 

7. cancer –I hate everything about this word and all the heartache it brings.

8. denied –What a dreadful, sad word, especially when read in red and in stamp form. 🙁

9. crappy –I can definitely be heard saying ‘crap’, but ‘crappy’ is not a word I enjoy.

10. pooped –As in being tired. Why not just say, “I’m tired.”?

This post was inspired by Stasha’s Monday Listicles, a linky right up my alley!

 
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I Smell A Bully

Posted on July 16, 2011 Written by Tonya

Lucas is barely two years old and is still trying to grasp the concept of sharing. He’s got a long way to go, but for his age, he does really well.

Unless, he’s being pushed too far and then, just like you or I, he loses it.

Yesterday, his Mommy lost it.

We were at Barnes & Noble and Lucas was vying for a place at the train table and a train to play with and every time he got his hands on one, another boy, an older boy would snatch it from him. 

I bit my tongue the first three times as I nonchalantly looked around for the boy’s mother and helped Lucas find another train and told him he would get a turn with the one he really wanted soon.

The older boy kept Lucas and two other younger children from using an entire side of the table and at one point (and this was utterly shocking to me) pushed my son out of his way. 

No “excuse me”, no “I’m sorry”. Just a push.

The look in Lucas’ eyes was one of bewilderment and asked what did I do wrong?. 

Grabby? Possessive? Rude? Where was this kid’s manners? Better question, where was this kid’s parents?

I smell a bully.

At one point, little three-year-old, Emma walked around the older boy to get to a section of the train table he wasn’t hogging and he exclaimed that she “hit” him. 

She didn’t touch him. Her mom and I were right there the entire time. 

Trying to set a good example, Emma’s mom had her apologize to the boy and also explained that her daughter was only three and didn’t mean to touch him. With that she asked how old he was.

Six.

Six? Six years old and acting like this? 

Shortly thereafter, the boy went for another train from Lucas and that was it. My poor son had had it and so had I!

I got in the six year old’s face and said, “You are not being nice. That is the fourth time you have taken a train from my son. Where is your mother?”

We didn’t stick around long enough to meet the mother, as Lucas, having been pushed to his limit had a complete melt down. I scooped him up, calmed him down and we went to another section of the store.

I really didn’t want to be that mom, the one that flees, avoids confrontation, but let’s face it sometimes it’s just easier when you know you’re never going to run into that six year old or his mother again.  

I know I can’t protect my son from every bully or uncomfortable situation and I’m not proud of the way this scenario played out. 

On the other hand, it’s not my job to discipline someone else’s child when their parent is no where to be seen, is it? What did I do wrong? How do you handle situations like this?


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Filed Under: annoyances, out of my comfort zone, outing, parenting, question

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