Letters For Lucas

Wonders, Mishaps, Blunders and Joy.. commentary on my life as a mom in the form of letters to my son

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Bah Humbug

Posted on December 9, 2015 Written by Tonya

I’m all about Christmas.

For the most part.

I enjoy decorating; strategically placing snow globes, Santa Clauses and stuffed reindeer throughout the house, and switching the everyday guest and dish towels, soap dispensers and candles for holiday ones.

Lugging those stupid red and green over-sized plastic bins out of storage is physically demanding and the more I use, the more I’ll have to put away come January. 

I love finding a tree, covering it with all of our mismatched but oh so meaningful and beloved ornaments and the scent of pine that fills our living room.

The needles drive me crazy as does having to “feed” the tree twice a day so it stays fresh. Our tree drinks more water than I do! And spending over an hour untangling strings of lights and trying to get them on the tree right was super frustrating. 

I savor baking days and using cookies cutters and seeing the children covered in flour and icing.

I could definitely do without the extra lbs. or the colossal mess. Sigh. 

I get a thrill from trying to find perfect gifts for people I love and have fun wrapping and attempting to make beautiful bows and avoiding bags as much as possible.

Oh, but the lack of parking spots and the long lines just to save a few bucks aren’t really worth it. The paper cuts are no picnic and I really need to practice the measure twice, cut once rule. 

I revel in pulling out my mother’s Christmas dishes to use all month and like the challenge of putting together a menu for our Christmas Eve celebration.

I have zero complaints about the dishes, but trying to please everyone’s palette is damn near impossible in my family and I get testy when people meddle in my kitchen.

I adore playing cheerful holiday music (whenever the new Adele album isn’t).

But really, how many times can I hear Jingle Bells?

I like creating our family holiday greeting card and honestly don’t mind hand addressing over 250 cards.

Trying to capture a decent family photo is an absolute joke and it is high time that we cut our list WAY back!! 

holidaycard2015

We avoided the dreadful family photo shoot all together this year and had Lucas design our holiday card. I adore it!

I love getting together with family and friends, all the social engagements make me so happy and I RSVP yes to everything!

But, what to wear, what to wear? And the day after fogginess makes me wish I didn’t drink so much. Plus, another evening out means another evening I’m not wrapping presents or addressing holiday cards.

I look forward to the children’s photo with Santa each year.

Of course, out of the six taken, one turned out sort of okay.

Lola was terrified! Poor little girl.

Ah, yes… the holidays. Such a delightful time of year, the sights, sounds and labor of it all. Holy crap, what a pain-in-the-ass. And it’s not like regular life ceases to exist just because it’s the holidays! There’s still lunches to be made, laundry to do, homework to oversee, dishwashers to be emptied and supermarket visits. So many supermarket visits.

It’s messy and chaotic, wonderful and fun.

I go to bed most nights in December with a tension headache. There’s so much pressure and too much to do, but still, it is my favorite time of the year.

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    Filed Under: annoyances, holidays, photos, santa Tagged With: annoyances, Christmas, holidays, photos, santa

    Elf On The Shelf – NaBloPoMo

    Posted on December 1, 2015 Written by Tonya

    Before the Elf on the Shelf was available everywhere, including my grocery store, or you could buy clothes, accessories and pets for your Elf, I offered the tradition to Lucas.

    He was 4 1/2 at the time and wanted no part of it. In fact, the idea scared the bejesus out of him.

    The whole thing is kind of creepy.

    Last year, he was ready; eager and enthusiastic to discover Frederic each and every morning.

    So, I scoured Pinterest heeded the call and came up with 17 days (we were a week late to the party) worth of ideas.

    Here are a few of my favorite:

    elfreading

    Reading holiday books to friends.

    elfcamping

    Camping, complete with VW van.

    elfdolls

    Hanging out with matryoshka dolls.

    elfgames

    Cheating at CandyLane.

    elfipad

    Watching a movie on the iPad.

    Looking at these photos, I fear I may have set the bar too high. I’m not feeling too creative this year.

    Are you doing the Elf on the Shelf  in your house? Have any ideas to share?

    NaBloPoMo November 2015

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    Filed Under: holidays, NaBloPoMo, photos, pinterest, question Tagged With: Christmas, Elf on the Shelf, holidays, NaBloPoMo, photos, pinterest, quetsion, tradition

    Bon Voyage – NaBloPoMo

    Posted on November 30, 2015 Written by Tonya

    My sister and I won’t be baking together this holiday season, she won’t be helping me with the children, shopping for and wrapping last minute presents or waking up at our house Christmas morning.

    We won’t go to our annual Christmas Day movie after all the presents have been opened and displayed under the tree, we won’t be sharing pie for breakfast the day after and we won’t be exchanging gifts until New Year’s Eve.

    For the first time in my son’s life (seven Christmases) and only the second in my own, since she was born, Leah will not be with us for Christmas.

    My sister and her boyfriend, Aaron are going on a once-in-a-lifetime trip to Cambodia, Thailand and Myanmar (formally known as Burma). They leave December 10 and don’t return until December 29. I am over the moon excited for them, especially Aaron, who hasn’t done much traveling.

    This trip will change them in ways they have yet to discover, strengthen them as a couple and give Leah an opportunity to visit a place where she spent much of her youth.

    Leah lived in Burma for six years with our parents and graduated from the International School of Yangon in 2002. I had the opportunity to attend her high school graduation and visit this beautiful country for myself. I’m thrilled she’s going back, taking this adventure and pleased that she kept in touch with friends in Burma to visit while she and Aaron are there.

    But.

    I will miss her tremendously. My children will miss her too.

    bonvoyage

    Christmas simply will not be the same without her.

    I’ll be waiting for their safe return, can’t wait to hear all about their travels and look forward to ringing in the New Year with her and Aaron and his family.

    Bon voyage, Leah and Aaron and hurry home!

    NaBloPoMo November 2015

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    Filed Under: aunt leah, holidays, NaBloPoMo, photos, travel Tagged With: Aaron, aunt leah, Christmas, holidays, NaBloPoMo, photos, traditions, travel

    Thanks & Giving – NaBloPoMo

    Posted on November 26, 2015 Written by Tonya

    Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!

    Be grateful.

    thanks and giving

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    Filed Under: gratitude, holidays, NaBloPoMo, quotes Tagged With: gratitude, holidays, NaBloPoMo, quote

    Fall Things: Old School Blogging – NaBloPoMo

    Posted on November 3, 2015 Written by Tonya

    With nearly 100 degree days, it hasn’t felt much like Fall in Southern California lately but it sure is fun to think about cooler temperatures, piles of red and gold leaves, holiday baking and my boots; oh how I miss my boots!!

    This month Elaine of The Miss Elaine-ous Life and Nancy of Bacardi Mama have paired up to ask questions about this elusive season.

    It’s too late to add new links, but I started this last week, or the week before so I wanted to share.

    What is your favorite Halloween candy?
    I’m not gonna lie, I love seeing candy corn hit the shelves, but I wouldn’t turn down a Twix, Snickers, Kit Kat or package of M&M’s.

    What is one of the worst “treats” you ever received in your candy bag?
    I don’t remember ever getting anything I wasn’t thrilled with except for maybe Tootsie rolls. Because yuck!

    What was one of your favorite costumes you wore when you were a kid?
    I’m a child of the 70’s so my mother used to make all my costumes. Those were the days. My favorite was Raggedy Ann and she had a matching costume!

    How about your favorite costume as an adult?
    My most memorable adult costumes have been; Jasmine from Disney’s Aladdin, a sock hop, Princess Leia and this year, a witch. My favorite was Princess Leia, which I wore as a child and again, last year. Lucas was Darth Vader and Lola (her first!) was Yoda.

    Halloween 2014

    Halloween 2014

    What scares you most on Halloween? Spiders? Zombies? Axe murderers? Eyeballs in a jar… (or something else)?
    Masks. Not to into them at all, paint yourself up with blood and gory makeup, but I need to see your face. Especially your eyes.

    So then, what is your favorite scary movie?
    I don’t like scary movies and can barely even watch American Horror Story, but I love classic suspense films like Rear Window and Rebecca, and more modern ones like Seven, The Usual Suspects, The Departed and Gone Baby Gone.

    What is you favorite part of the Thanksgiving meal?
    I could so easily make an argument for stuffing. Or mashed potatoes with gravy. Or the rolls, hot and buttery rolls. But I think it’s the main attraction that I look forward to the most, the turkey. And I love turkey sandwiches for days afterward. A little salt, a little pepper and butter. Yum!

    What is your favorite piece of clothing or accessory to wear in the Fall?
    Boots, sweaters, henleys, flannels, corduroy, scarves! Did I mention boots?

    What is your favorite pie?  If you do not like pie I will forgive you but then what is your favorite Fall dessert?
    I’m not really a pie person (sorry, Elaine!) I’ve been told I make tasty pumpkin and pecan pies, which I do every holiday. Pumpkin because it would be sacrilegious not to and pecan for my sister. For me, I make chocolate. As in good old fashioned Jell-O pudding on the stove chocolate pudding pie. It makes for a great breakfast too!

    IMG_8684

    Do you live where there are four seasons? If so, where is your favorite place to see the fall colors?
    In California the seasons are subtle, and quick to change, but they do exist and are quite distinct. There is a Summer season and a Winter season. They aren’t what most people think of Summer or Winter, they just happen to occur at the same time. Spring and Fall are just the blending of one into the other.

    What is your favorite fall tradition?
    Taking photos of my children and dog in piles of leaves. I also enjoy participating in a Turkey Trot (5K walk or run) the morning of Thanksgiving, it’s a great way to start a day of gluttonous eating!

    Italy - 2009

    Italy – 2009

    Is there anything else special about the Fall to you?
    I just love the drop in temperatures, wearing cozy slippers, sipping hot cups of tea, visiting pumpkin patches, the crunch of fallen leaves under my feet, rosy cheeks and starting to think about Christmas.

    NaBloPoMo November 2015

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    Filed Under: blog hop, holidays, NaBloPoMo, old school blogging, photos Tagged With: blog hop, halloween, holidays, movies, NaBloPoMo, photos, Thanksgiving, The Miss Elaine-ous Life

    A Visit To The Easter Bunny

    Posted on April 3, 2015 Written by Tonya

    When Lola and I picked Lucas up from school yesterday I asked him if he would have his picture taken with his sister and the Easter Bunny and very much to my surprise, he said he would!

    Proud of the fact that I didn’t have to put up a fight or that he asked for nothing in return (I have found that age five is all about the art of the negotiation), I told him after pictures I would take him to get an ice cream cone. He made an awful face and said no, so I offered him a trip to the cupcake store and again he said no. Starting to feel very confused, I said, “cookie?” and that was when he sheepishly asked if we could go to the bookstore and he could get a book instead of a treat explaining, “Because mom, an ice cream cone will be gone in like two seconds, but a book will last forever.”

    Be still my book loving heart!

    Also?

    Who is this kid?

    After both children were absolute rock stars waiting in the hot sun for nearly an hour to have their photo taken with a giant person stuffed into an Easter Bunny costume, Lucas got not one, but three new books!

    And as if my son hadn’t impressed me enough already, one of the books he chose was a gift for his friend. I love the ways my children surprise and delight me.

    Here’s our photo! It isn’t great, they both have goofy looks on their faces, but I love it. Lola is wearing a beautiful hand-me-down dress from her cousins, who are now 13 and 11 respectively.

    image

    Lucas, 5.10 – Lola, 14 months

    Happy Good Friday, happy Easter and happy Spring, everyone!

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    Filed Under: books, conversations with Lucas, holidays, photos Tagged With: books, conversations with Lucas, hand-me-downs, holidays, photos

    Snowflakes

    Posted on December 20, 2014 Written by Tonya

    Together, Todd and I were enough and then we had Lucas.

    Our son made us a family.

    We desperately wanted a sibling for him and after a three year struggle with secondary infertility, we were finally able to give him one.

    Our baby girl made our family complete.

    A sibling is there to share secrets and face life’s greatest moments. But why I ever thought two children born to the same parents, raised in the same way would be alike is beyond me.

    My sister and I are as different as night and day but I always thought it was because of the almost 12 year age difference between us. We were practically raised as only children and didn’t became close until we were adults. I have faced the best and worst life events with her by my side.

    I have known many siblings and they are different from one another too but I never really thought why.

    Now that I have two children I realize how unique siblings are from one another. Lucas and Lola are their own individual people with personalities and characteristics that are continuing to develop and while they do share genetics, they are very different.

    So different.

    So wonderful.

    Just like snowflakes.

    snow

    At only 10 1/2 months and 5 1/2 years old, I can already see how different my children are from one another.

    Complex.

    Delicate.

    One of a kind.

    Magical.

    And always will they be siblings.

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    Filed Under: aunt leah, character, family, holidays, siblings Tagged With: aunt leah, character, family, holidays, siblings

    Loving & Loathing The Holidays

    Posted on December 15, 2014 Written by Tonya

    This is a hard time of year for many people.

    Myself included.

    From the week before Thanksgiving through January 1, I waver between being on the verge of a complete panic attack, find myself anxious and excited with everything there is to do to prepare for the big days ahead, feel tempted to stick a fork in my eye over complete frustration, exhibit weepy and melancholy behavior over people I miss, how pretty all the lights are and the kindness of strangers, I’m more exhausted during the holiday season than any other time of year and I am filled with a sense of blissful happiness. During this time frame, I can go through this cycle on a daily basis.

    I’m a mess.

    I simultaneously love and loathe the holidays.

    Pulling three bins of Christmas crap out of the garage and untangling lights is the worst. Lola’s mild but curious interest in the tree and ornaments? Magical.

    orna

    The hunt for the perfect gift, piles and piles of presents, marathon wrapping sessions and ribbon paper cuts? I loathe it all! The look on their faces when they open your gift = AWESOME!

    piles

    Baking with Lucas? Yes, please! Eating half a dozen cookies and having to workout a little harder… BLAH!!

    cookies

    The daily To Do list? No, thanks. Crossing items off, however, feels great.

    list

    Spending time with friends doing holiday related activities? Love it.

    boys

    Receiving beautiful holiday cards in the mail? J’adore! Picking a decent family photo, designing a card, addressing and stamping 200 envelopes… not so much.

    cards

    The Elf of the Shelf? The jury is still out, but we are definitely having fun with it!

    elf

    What do you love and/or loathe about this time of the year?

     

     

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    The City By The Bay: Thanksgiving 2014

    Posted on December 2, 2014 Written by Tonya

    At least six months ago we started talking about our Thanksgiving plans. Typically we take a big trip. A week long somewhere far from home, somewhere that requires jackets and gloves, hats and boots and reservations for our Thanksgiving meal.

    Lucas spent his first Thanksgiving in Florence, Italy! Two years ago we went to Vancouver.

    Last year we moved the week of Thanksgiving so this year felt like a “make-up” of sorts. We renewed Lucas’s passport, applied for one for Lola and started daydreaming.

    I don’t if we got too busy or couldn’t quite agree on a destination, but we dragged our feet until the week before and then with what felt like out of our budget and limited options we decided to stay local-ish. We drove to San Francsico!

    Todd grew up and went to college in the Bay Area and knows the city well  and I fell in love with San Francisco on my first visit some 18 years ago and it continues to dazzle us both.

    We had no agenda and had the greatest time. Wednesday was my favorite day; we left our hotel at 10:00 AM, headed for Ghirardelli Square. Along the way we stopped to play at two parks, wandered through Chinatown, window shopped, found a darling card and gift store called Lola, where we had to pose for photos, watched Lucas & Lola devour a croissant, found a man and his son catching and releasing Dungeness crabs, gazed at the beautiful Golden Gate Bridge, enjoyed ice cream and took a sunset cable car ride back to our hotel nearly seven hours later.

    IMG_7579

    IMG_7658

    IMG_7672But then again, Thursday was pretty spectacular too! I took Lucas ice skating for the first time at Union Square and he was amazing. My sister-in-law and two nieces, who live in the East Bay joined us. Apprehensive at first myself, as I hadn’t been on skates in a very long time, I was most worried about Lucas. He fell a lot but he was so determined and never once whined or utter the words, “I can’t do it.”. I am so proud of him and he, of course can’t wait to do it again! We both had permagrins for the 90 minutes we were on the ice and as long as we stopped to say hello before circling the rink again, Lola and Daddy enjoyed watching us from the sidelines.
    IMG_7711 IMG_7720
    IMG_7713Friday, we walked half-way across the Golden Gate Bridge, as little legs couldn’t make it the entire (1.7 miles one way) way and there were no parks or croissants along the route. After that, my in-laws, who also live in the East Bay came into the city for lunch and we watched the Christmas decorations go up in our hotel lobby.

    IMG_7796

    IMG_7920There was more exploring, a shopping spree at NikeTown, some not so great restaurant recommendations and I’ll spare you the details and frustrations of our horrific road trip there and home with a certain rear-facing little person who hates being in the car.

    It was wonderful to get away, especially to a favorite city and as a family. I hope you and yours had a lovely holiday too.

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    Precious Firsts & Lasts

    Posted on November 23, 2014 Written by Tonya

    I’m not ready.

    Even before Halloween I saw Christmas decorations and tchotchkes for sale. I think Christmas starts too early every year, but this year in particular.

    My melancholy started with the purchase of my daughter’s first stocking. It matches the rest of the family’s; red velvet with a green cuff, and ivory letters in traditional Garamond spell out: Lola. I ordered it a month ago but was completely dismayed when it arrived.

    Baby’s first Christmas.

    It will be the last of Lola’s precious firsts for the year.

    Christmas is a huge milestone for any child. Lucas was barely 6 months old his first Christmas and not quite crawling. I have darling photos of him laying in piles of wrapping paper underneath my in-laws tree, sitting on Santa’s lap looking bewildered and he was the star of our holiday card that year.

    I don’t recall being weepy about Lucas turning one. Instead I was gleeful and proud. Happy for all that he had accomplished in his first year and proud of my husband and I for not only surviving but thoroughly enjoying our first year of parenthood.

    I remember searching through a year full of photos to create a collage to display at his birthday party, a very small family gathering in our backyard, something I’m sure I’ll do for his little sister.

    But with Lola it is different.

    I’m very weepy.

    Her birthday is at the beginning of the new year so as the old one draws to a close, I think about what a magical year it has been and I’m sad it went by so fast.

    Lola is most likely our last child and the one we fought the hardest for. She’s amazing and our family feels more complete because of her. I know her second year will be full of more firsts… first steps and more words, new experiences, adventure and magic.

    But, I’m not ready.

    stock

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    Filed Under: holidays, milestones, motherhood, santa Tagged With: holidays, milestones, motherhood, santa

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