pregnancy2

A Week Of Milestones

Posted on December 16, 2013 Written by Tonya

Hello friends, it has been a while. Almost an entire month in fact and in that time, we moved, decorated for Christmas, surpassed the critical 32 week point of my pregnancy (!) and were without Internet access for almost three weeks. It has been busy and we are anything but settled into our new home, but have already had guests, are hosting family and friends for Christmas and are enjoying making our house a home.

I’m currently sitting at the island in my beautiful new kitchen listening to holiday music, avoiding my very lengthy To Do list and thinking back on a week of some pretty big milestones for Lucas:

Milestone #1 For the first time EVER, Lucas ate what we ate for dinner!

Before becoming a parent I always said I would never be a short order cook, serving up a separate meal for my child, but having such a picky eater that was not the case in the least bit and until last Tuesday, that’s just what we did.

Tuesday he enjoyed pesto pasta with chicken and broccoli.

This is huge!

No separate meal.

I know it won’t happen every night, but we are headed in the right (and way more convenient) direction.

Milestone #2 While out to dinner on Saturday evening, Lucas asked to use the men’s restroom (gulp), which led to me sending this tweet while I waited (and worries):

I don’t know what the appropriate age is to let your son use the restroom by himself, but I know that I won’t be doing it again unless it is a another single stall situation.

Milestone #3 There are very few things in my life that I have had to have. These shoes purchased long before Lucas was even born were one of those things.

I completely fell in love with this New Balance sneaker, size 12(!) decked out with Oscar the Grouch, complete with several pesky flies. On the bottom of the sole, it says: “Have a yucky day!”. Having grown up watching Sesame Street, I just had to get them!

We bought them while in Old Town Pasadena in the Spring of 2009 and never thought our little boy would ever be able to wear them.

At 4 1/2 years old, Lucas’s tiny feet grew and grew are finally big enough to wear them!

Be still my heart, my little boy is no longer so little.

Worth The Wait

Posted on November 20, 2013 Written by Tonya

Around the fifth month of pregnancy, the “nesting” stage sets in. This uncontrollable urge to clean one’s house and prepare for a new baby includes tying up loose ends and kicking into über organization mode. It’s a burst of energy and can lead to some pretty irrational thinking, or so I’m told. I’m well past this stage and have been fighting it for weeks because I have nothing to nest…. yet (we move this weekend!!).

People, I’m kind of going crazy.

I’m beyond excited to move, but my mind is reeling!!

In fact, my dear sweet husband calmly pointed out recently that I’m not losing it, I’ve lost it.

He’s right.

While I have had the best pregnancy, my hormones are completely out of whack right now and everything is rubbing me the wrong way, my expectations are higher than ever, I’m on edge, have a To Do list a mile long, the holidays are fast approaching, which sends me into a tail spin every year, I haven’t had an uninterrupted night of sleep in days due to a cough I just can’t shake and I have officially entered the waddle stage of my pregnancy.

We had a family/maternity photo shoot two weekends ago and our photographer and friend, Tereza gently reminded me how far we’ve come to have this baby and hearing this was equal parts satisfying, humbling and exciting, not to mention tremendously bittersweet.

I believe she captured all that and more. Thank you, Tereza from the bottom of my heart.

All photos taken by Tereza Harper – November 10, 2013

When Todd and I decided to grow our family, we thought it would be easy, just like when we had Lucas – have sex and get pregnant. Little did we know the journey that we were in store for. Ultimately, it made us a stronger couple and family and we have learned to love more deeply and cherish our gifts. Somewhere in the back on my mind, I knew it would all be worth it in the end.

All photos taken by Tereza Harper – November 10, 2013

The longer you wait for something the more you appreciate it when you get it because anything worth having is always worth the wait – Unknown

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Day 20: Today I’m grateful for people with whom I vehemently disagree but can always have a good, respectful debate that never feels personal or resentful. It’s all about keeping an open mind and listening. #30daysofgratitude

Dotting I’s & Crossing T’s

Posted on November 14, 2013 Written by Tonya

We’ve been reading the books, reminiscing about when he was a baby, letting him pick out onesies, answering and asking a lot of questions, visiting friends with newborns and talking about how things are going change, but no matter how hard we try to dot all the i’s and cross all the t’s, nothing can truly prepare our household for a baby or Lucas to be a big brother.

After learning from a good friend that there was such a thing as a Sibling Preparation Class, I promptly took to the Web and signed up Lucas.

I figured it couldn’t hurt for him to hear from someone other than Mommy and Daddy how to be helpful, patient and careful with his baby sister, our baby, as we call her. Lucas even got a lesson in swaddling and diaper changing.

Seeing the gleam in his eyes as he shared with the instructor how he has seen our baby doing somersaults on a computer screen in the doctor’s office made my night, but I especially loved how he suggested that someday his little sister attend a sibling class of her own so that she can learn how to be a good sibling too. My smart little firstborn.

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Day 14: Today I am thankful for my husband’s successful business, European Collectibles on PCH, a classic car dealership. It is his dream realized and our livelihood and today is celebrating its three year anniversary! #30daysofgratitude

Six Must-Have Pregnancy Items

Posted on November 12, 2013 Written by Tonya

For me, along with a growing belly comes swollen feet and legs, an achy back and bizarre cravings for lemons and baked goods. I know, right? But, that’s about it. I’m lucky and don’t get the nausea, heartburn or hemorrhoids.

When it comes to pregnancy, I don’t know why I have been so blessed to have such an easy go at it, but I could not go through this experience without sharing a few of my favorite pregnancy items.

Sure, a great support system and caring team of doctors is important, as are prenatal vitamins, a healthy, well-balanced diet, equal parts exercise and rest and pretty much a whole new wardrobe are essential, but these are my six must-haves for a successful, more comfortable nine months.

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1. Belly cream. My favorite is Bella B Tummy Honey Stretchmark Prevention Butter. It smells delish, feels luxurious and helps prevent stretch marks and itching. LOVE LOVE LOVE!!

2. Proper fitting undergarments. I have grown a full cup size and then some and my go-to bras are Victoria’s Secret’s Body By Victoria, which offers super full coverage, lots of colors to choose from and are available in both under-wire and wireless. Totally worth the price tag.

3. Cheese. Better known as the Babies R Us Pregnancy Wedge Cushion Pillow. If you’re not ready or willing to spend $80+ on a full body pillow, this is the perfect alternative for that extra belly, legs, and hip support you need in order to get a better night’s sleep.

4. My iPhone. I use it to keep track of what my body and baby are doing with awesome apps like Baby Bump and What To Expect: Pregnancy and to pass the time while waiting and waiting and waiting in doctors offices.

5. Compression socks. One yucky side effect I have been experiencing is a lot of pressure in my legs and some minor blood clotting at the end of the day and although they are ugly as sin, Futuro Energizing Ultra Sheer Knee Highs do help.

6. Pampering. Once a month (sometimes more) I get mani/pedis and prenatal massages. Anything that makes me stop and forces me to relax is a very good thing.

What helped you get through your pregnancy?

None of the companies mentioned above endorsed this blog post in any way, I received no free swag for writing this and all opinions expressed are 100% my own, but if Victoria’s Secret picks up on this, I would not turn down a gift card!

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Day 12: Today I am grateful for a good night’s rest. I spent half of last night coughing my lungs out and with a newborn baby on the way, severe sleep deprivation is too and it helps me appreciate the value and luxury of a full eight hours of sleep, glorious sleep. Are you getting enough Zzzzz’s? #30daysofgratitude

Sick

Posted on November 11, 2013 Written by Tonya

I love everything about being pregnant except being sick.

Okay, nobody enjoys being sick, but I especially do not enjoy being sick. In fact, I hate it!! I don’t have time for anything that slows me down. Not now. Not ever. Well, especially not now… this is critical Mommy/Lucas bonding time and I need to be on my A-game, do my share of packing (we move in 11 days!) and rock my third trimester.

Being sick sets me back.

Being sick turns me into a not nice person.

Being sick sucks.

Being sick and seven months pregnant really sucks.

Being sick, seven months pregnant and not able to take anything stronger than Tylenol or Robitussin and having a preschooler, REALLY, REALLY sucks!!

I am not a good sick person, if there even is such a thing.

I am currently battling my THIRD cold/flu/yuck in two months and I got a flu shot. A lot of good that did me, but my OB would not let me leave her office without one. She also made me promise that my husband and son would get one too. They did and they haven’t been sick.

So unfair.

Ugh.

This is what my last five days have looked like:

I’m not looking for any sympathy or anything.

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Day 11: I am grateful for veterans, for they are responsible for all of the freedoms we enjoy today. #30daysofgratitude

Sibling Love

Posted on November 5, 2013 Written by Tonya

I always wanted a big brother, someone to look up to besides my parents, team up with against our parents and have look over me with an extra protective eye. I wanted an in-house best friend, secret keeper, rival and real life yard stick to which all boyfriends would have to measured up to.

I wished for a sibling for years and years before my sister was finally born. We are close, but the almost 12 year age gap between us has been challenging at times. When our parents died I could not have imagined going through that on my own. My sister is the only one that truly understands and shares that grief with me.

I wanted a second child for Lucas, a sibling close to his age, someone to bond with for life, grow up beside and in the event that anything ever happens to me or his dad, someone to help bear the burden and be sad with.

There is no doubt in my mind that Lucas is going to be an amazing big brother. He is already so conscientious about his little sister’s arrival, constantly thinking about her and asking if we should purchase this item or that for her, sharing what he plans to teach her once she’s here and asking questions about what she may be like.

This is his first drawing of his sibling. She’s all eyes, cheeks and smile. And those are her “little legs peeking out of her blanket”.

Swoon…

“A sibling may be the sole keeper of one’s core identity, the only person with the keys to one’s unfettered, more fundamental self.” – Marian Sandmaier

Day 5: Sunflowers… They’re big, bright, striking and always make me smile. #30daysofgratitude

If It’s A Boy…

Posted on September 30, 2013 Written by Tonya

When I was pregnant with Lucas, even after finding out he was a boy, we consciously registered for and bought a lot of gender neutral items… reds, tans, greens. Even his nursery furniture and decor could go either way.

But, clothes are a whole different ball of wax.

I have diligently saved all of my favorite articles of clothing that Lucas has outgrown, others I donate or pass along to friends.

If our next baby is a boy, he’ll be set! He’ll be able to wear practically brand new and/or gently used onesies covered with footballs, basketballs and baseballs, several pairs of Vans sneakers, brown loafers, Crocs with Spiderman buttons, Superman, Star Wars, Cars, airplane and vintage car T-shirts, an adorable vest with a train on it, countless blue, brown and black striped and collared shirts, so many cargo pants I’ll never have to buy another pair and dinosaur, monster, pirate, insects and boat pajamas.

If this baby is a girl…we’re screwed!

Guess what? I revealed Sunday that we are having a girl when I participated in RESOLVE’s inaugural Southern California Walk of Hope.

More than 280 walkers and $50,000 raised for RESOLVE. These funds will support local fertility programming, public awareness initiatives, and advocacy efforts to ensure that all family building options are available to all. No one should face infertility alone.

I walked for my daughter, in hope that she never faces the fertility struggles that I have and if she does, she’ll know she is not alone.

More on being a mother to a girl later…

Walk of Hope – September 29, 2013

One To Frame: #iPPP

Posted on September 25, 2013 Written by Tonya

I have a real camera somewhere, but I haven’t seen it in years.

I got my first iPhone on September 28, 2009 (yes, I know the exact date) and I have been taking photos with it ever since. I was snapping photos with other cell phones prior to that, but a smart phone is slick. It’s easy to use, portable, the new iOS 7 has built in filters and there are tons of cool photography apps available.

I’m not a great photographer but I try. I think I have a good eye and so I take lots of photos. I’m trying to focus on capturing more candids and small moments.

Some of the pictures I take are silly and stupid and deleted immediately, many are for the purposes of the blog or Instagram and tons are texted to family and friends on a daily basis and then there are a very select few that are blown up, framed and hang in my home.

This will be one of those precious few.

Waiting for baby kicks – September 24, 2013

Sharing this pregnancy with Lucas has been so much sweeter than I ever could have imagined and baby kicks? Well, there is nothing better.

Linking up this week with Sarah of The Sunday Spill and Greta of Gfunkified for their #iPPP weekly meme.

Shaking That Feeling: What Infertility Struggles Do To You

Posted on September 20, 2013 Written by Tonya

At one point I had four doctors.

Recently having “graduated” from the fertility clinic I have been at for over three years, I now only have three.

Since day one all of them have assured me that what I’m feeling is natural, especially given my history.

They tell me everything looks great and right on track.

I’m having a hard time believing them.

Even though I’ve seen the black-and-white images of a tiny human doing somersaults with my own eyes.

Even though I’ve studied the positive test results and measurements.

Even though I’ve heard the sweet sound of a rapid heartbeat.

Even though….

There is no doubt that I am being carefully monitored and yet, I’m still fighting to shake this sinking feeling.

Fighting to relax.

Fighting to carry this baby to full term.

Fighting to fully embrace this pregnancy.

Fighting to push the negativity out of my head and forcing myself to expect the best instead of the worst.

If I have learned anything through my struggle to get here, it’s that I have ZERO control, a devastating set back can happen at any moment and it’s better to protect yourself. That’s what infertility does to you. It forces you to keep on your toes, read into every twinge, keep your doctors all on speed dial and anticipate gloom.

So I will continue to fight and protect myself until this baby is safely in my arms.

For me making it successfully past the half way point is cause for [cautious] celebration, or in my case, compiling a short list of potential names, considering shower dates, preregistering at the hospital where I plan to deliver and browsing through a baby boutique where I allowed myself to purchase a pack of onesies.

Telling Lucas

Posted on September 16, 2013 Written by Tonya

I promise all of my posts will not be about be about being pregnant from now on, but this is one I had to write…

It was a conversation I wasn’t ready to have.

It was news I didn’t want to reveal for another few weeks.

I wanted to wait as long as possible… just in case. Anything could go wrong and how would we explain that?

It was going to forever change everything. For him and for our family.

Upon hearing our news, I imagined Lucas never looking at me in the same way again, full innocence and pure love.

I could almost envision him staring back at me/us with a look of horror in his eyes as if to ask, “how could you do this, we had such a good thing going?!”.

Telling Lucas that I was expecting a baby brought me so much anxiety I cried several times leading up to the dreaded conversation.

I researched recommended ways to tell your child you are expecting on the Internet and read them out loud to my husband. We took mental notes and practiced our dialogue. I sought advice from trusted friends and spoke to our pediatrician for her professional opinion.

No matter what his reaction, the bottom line was: we just had to do it. It was time.

Keep it simple, straightforward, upbeat and very positive.

I could do that.

Then why did the mere thought of sharing our news with our son, our first born and special boy make me break down in tears? Why did it instill such fear?

As much as I want a baby, a sibling for my son, I don’t want Lucas’ world to change and I don’t ever want him to think that Mommy and Daddy don’t have enough love for two children or more.

Over dinner, at 14 weeks 4 days we told Lucas that we some exciting family news, that he was going to be a big brother and his response was nothing like what I expected: “That’s awesome!” he exclaimed and then followed it up with lots of questions about how big my belly will get and if the baby is a boy or a girl, what the baby is doing right now, how big is the baby, when will the baby come out, and how will the baby come out. Admittedly some answers came easier than others. It was the best dinner conversation our family has ever had!

Lucas isn’t thinking any of the things I’d been fearing. I know he will eventually, but right now he’s too busy being overjoyed at the thought of being a big brother, making sure I’m eating healthy fruits and vegetables and kissing my belly.

It’s amazing how immediate love is.

A Week Of Milestones

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Sick

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If It’s A Boy…

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One To Frame: #iPPP

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Shaking That Feeling: What Infertility Struggles Do To You

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Telling Lucas

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