Letters For Lucas

Wonders, Mishaps, Blunders and Joy.. commentary on my life as a mom in the form of letters to my son

Things I Did While I Was 40 – Update

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A year ago today, I shared a list of things I wanted to accomplish while I was 40. On the eve of my 41st birthday, I thought I would reflect and update.

The items that are crossed off I made happen with enthusiasm and I’m not going to beat myself up about the other stuff.

I’m a work in progress!

  1. Watch all 550 minutes of The Planet Earth DVDs.
  2. Run at least four 5Ks.
  3. Sell my parents house in Arizona. Yay!! 
  4. Find a new house here, buy it and move in.
  5. If we aren’t going to move, finish decorating our living room.
  6. Raise a puppy. More on this later.
  7. Have a baby or at least get and stay pregnant by June, 2013. I am SO ready to get off this roller coaster.
  8. Read one book (at the very least) per month. Barely!
  9. Stop letting so many phone calls go directly to voice mail. I think I’m getting better at this.
  10. Successfully potty train my son. It’s time, yo! 
  11. Finish writing my father’s story. You can read it here.
  12. Go easier on myself. In general. In all matters of my life. This is an ongoing struggle…
  13. Resume my yoga practice.
  14. Walk the 1000 steps in Laguna Beach. This morning!! Twice! With the dog.
  15. Purge my stuff. Meh.
  16. Have an epic garage sale. See above.
  17. Drink more champagne.
  18. Take Lucas to the beach by myself. Just once.
  19. Schedule more one on one time with my sister.
  20. Take Lucas on the Radiator Springs Racers at Cars Land just as soon as he grows one inch taller. 🙂
  21. Eat more salads than sandwiches. At home.
  22. Spend less time blogging, tweeting, status updating, pinning and playing games. For reals! Hanging my head in shame.
  23. If I have to be on Pinterest, start trying some of the shit I pin. I have a entire board dedicated to Pinterest projects I’ve tried! 
  24. Meet more local bloggers in person.
  25. Make out with my husband more.
  26. Reach out to my family across the country more often.
  27. Lower expectations across the board.
  28. Cook more. I was on a roll for a while and then got lazy.
  29. Try new restaurants… Pizza Ortica, Chow, The Deck, Rooftop, etc.
  30. When eating out at the same old places, try something different on the menu for a change. I’m a creature of habit, what can I say?
  31. Never lie about my age.
  32. Give paddle boarding a whirl. I have been once and I am going again on my birthday!
  33. Go camping.
  34. Consider hiring a trainer.
  35. When moisturizing, never forget my neck!
  36. Mail medical insurance claims before my husband has a cow.
  37. Volunteer in Lucas’ classroom.
  38. Leave the phone in the car and really BE in the moment.
  39. Spend more time outdoors.
  40. Stop making lists! Not going to happen!!

Am I the only one that makes these kinds of crazy lists or do you too make goals for yourself upon turning a new age?

Notice, there’s not a list for my 41st year.

IMG_2474

May 20, 2013 – The first time I took Lucas to the beach solo! There have been two additional trips.

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Back To Basics – Update

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First and foremost, my thoughts and prayers go out to all those affected by the explosions in Boston yesterday. It is heartbreaking that these events happen here and around the world.

 

We are half way through Project: Back To Basics, in which I vowed to go on a one month buying strike and refrain from buying Lucas any toys, games, Matchbox cars, Micro Drifters, sweets, books, or other unnecessary junk. Progress has been so-so and I’ve been keeping daily notes….

April 1: No incident

April 2: FedEx store – Lucas had a full melt down over markers and a package of Angry Birds flash drives. We walked out without anything and he was kicking and screaming.

April 3: Daddy brought home a Superman Pez dispenser from his trip. I wasn’t happy about it, but let it slide.

April 4: Lucas asked to borrowed a friend’s Monster Truck Cars after a play date.

April 5: Lakeshore Learning – Lucas had a crying fit over sponge dinosaurs, which he already has. I didn’t buy them and he pouted and fussed all the way home.

April 6: No incident and began telling me throughout the day that April is “no buy month”. Progress!!

April 7: Found a car at the park but still pleaded for Cars book, Angry Birds game and fishing pole with fish at Barnes & Noble. He didn’t get anything.

April 8: No incident – Spent two hours at the library and checked out 10 books, he acted like it was Christmas.

April 9: No incident

April 10: No incident

April 11: Lucas asked to borrow a friend’s stuffed turtle after play date.

April 12: Day 1 of Lucas’ Spring Break. We went to the Long Beach Aquarium and he begged me for an aquarium truck, which I bought. I know, I know. I felt like a total loser, but I did explain that he wasn’t going to get anything at Knott’s Berry Farm or Legoland, which we are planning to visit later in the week. SIDE NOTE: We have yearly passes to each amusement park. Lucas thanked me the rest of the day for the truck and played with it everyday. 

April 13: Aaron Brothers – Lucas asked to “just look” at children’s section, had designs on a box of markers, but was able to leave them on the shelf and there was no fit or mention of them again.

April 14: No incident

April 15: Knott’s Berry Farm – Lucas was able to walk through the gift shop without asking for anything and he reminded me of the deal we made at the aquarium. More progress!! 

April 16: Lucas and I spent two hours going through and organizing all of Lucas’ toys and made a small pile of items to donate. I could not be happier. There are still 14 days left in the month. I must stay strong!!

It’s really hard to say no your child, especially when they have big crocodile tears streaming down their face and they are causing a scene in a public place, but I’m learning slowly but surely to say no. No, not today, add it to your birthday list, let’s go home and play a game instead, what if we go to the park, etc. etc. etc.

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Name That Kindergartner – Update

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Update: The winner of the $300 Amazon gift card is Amy Pike. Second and third place go to Renee and Julie.

Here’s my then and now.

then and now

To see the answers for everyone else, look below.

I remember 5 things about kindergarten:

1. Riding the bus and one terrifying time I didn’t get off at my stop. A police escort may have been involved.

2. Stapling my finger with my teacher, Miss Mills’ red stapler.

3. Naps (glorious naps!) on army cots and the puddles of drool my classmates and I would leave behind.

4. Drawing a picture of my family of four, when there were only three of us. There was a parent/teacher conference and many discussion about lying and my desire to have a little sister.

5. The time I told the lunch monitors that I was allergic to bananas, they made me eat one anyway and I threw up all of her and myself. It also happened to be Picture Day.

I also remember tasting Elmer’s glue (c’mon, you know you did it too!), the smell of Crayola crayons and the squishy delight of finger paint. I loved kindergarten, but man, did I have a dreadful haircut!

A bunch of blogger friends and I have been reminiscing about kindergarten and put together something fun for our readers!

We present to you:

Name-That-Kindergartner-Answers

We hope you’ll play along! It’s very simple – just match the picture (with the assigned alphabet) to the blogger whose blog is listed below.

What’s in it for you? You could win an awesome $300 Amazon gift card!!* You can also get to know some of the bloggers listed here, if you don’t already. Plus, you get to  have a laugh at our expenses. Don’t worry, we did. Now, go forth and play!

Enter your answers on this form.

The 23 participating bloggers, in alphabetical order:

Angela of Angela Amman

Angie of Angie Kinghorn

Deborah of Ask Doctor G

Robin of Farewell Stranger

Poppy of Funny or Snot

Leigh Ann of Genie in a Blog

Greta of Gfunkified

Jennifer of Jennifer P. Williams

Tonya of Letters for Lucas

Kiran of Masala Chica

Laura of Mommy Miracles

Natalie of Mommy of a Monster (and Twins)

Brittany of Mommy Words

Jessica of My Time as Mom

Kimberly of Reflections of Now

Tracy of Sellabit Mum

Elaine of The Miss Elaine-ous Life

Sarah of The Sunday Spill

Galit of These Little Waves

Kristin of Two Cannoli

Arnebya of What Now and Why

Kristin of What She Said

Alison of Writing, Wishing

KinderHeader

*Terms and conditions apply:
You must be 18 years or older to enter. This contest is only open to residents of USA and Canada. This contest is open from March 11 – 15, 2013 (closes at 9:00 pm Eastern). Visit the link above, where you will be able to enter your guess for each blogger pictured. (All information will be kept private.) The person to correctly match all the faces with their blog will win a $300 Amazon gift card. The two other closest guesses will each win one $80 Amazon gift card. If more than one person correctly matches all the faces with their blogs, we will randomly pick a winner via random.org. If no one guesses all the faces correctly, the winner will be the person who made the most correct guesses. This is not a sponsored post. Prizes are paid for out of the participating bloggers’ own pockets. You CAN enter more than once! Winners will be announced week of March 18.

“Name That Kindergartner” was inspired by My Blessed Life‘s “Name That DIY Blogger” contest.

A huge thank you to Laura for designing our game pieces, Robin for making this post a lot easier to compile and Alison for being the awesomeness behind DBA!

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Mushrooms Were Growing In The Living Room!

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A brief timeline to bring you up to speed:

October 2007 – my parents die while living and working in Tunis, Tunisia and my sister and I inherit their stateside home.
October 2008 – house is inspected and appraised, it is full of 16 years worth of life and memories.
December 2008 –  roof work completed.
March 2009 – estate sale.
September 2009 – entire interior painted.
November 2009 – new cabinets installed in master bathroom.
April 2010 – realtor walks through and provides laundry list of things to “take care of” before we should consider selling.
November 2011 – new appliances purchased.
January 2011 – new plumbing fixtures installed.
February 2012 – new tile installed.
March 2012 – new carpet installed.
July 2012 – flood.

I had no idea what we were going to find we when arrived at the house last  Wednesday morning.

All I knew was I had a $5312.97 water bill, the water had been shut off 12 days earlier because a serviceman had seen water rushing out the front door and a water removal company would be meeting us. 

I knew it was going to be bad.

I was not prepared for how bad.

A $2 coil that connects the toilet to the wall in the guest bathroom had come undone and did this:

It was stiffing hot, hard to breath and the air felt wet.

Mold was growing on almost every wall.

I had never seen such damage. I walked around in shock for several minutes, not believing my eyes. Mushrooms were growing in the living room!

The water mitigation team went to work fast and have been amazing, explaining every step along the way and dealing with our insurance company too.

Within 24 hours, four feet of all walls in the guest bathroom, guest bedroom, hallway, two closets, foyer, master bathroom, master bedroom, living room and dining room were removed and dozens of fans were set up to begin the drying process.

Adding insult to injury, termites were found once the walls were taken apart, probably there for a long time but in some cases due to having new source of water. Nasty little suckers!

You may be wondering why the water was left on in an empty house and that is an excellent question. We figured with all of our comings and goings and all the different projects it was needed. We were stupid.

Many tears have been shed over the last week mainly due to the frustration, loss and all the time and energy that has been put into the house to get this far, but I’m trying to remain positive and look at the bright side…

Luckily, the house was virtually empty and the items that were still there, were located on the opposite end and saved from damage.

Luckily, the sunken living room saved the rest of the house from damage.

Luckily, there is no foundation problems or damage to the neighbors property.

Luckily, homeowner’s insurance will help pay for a lot of the reconstruction but none of the mold or termite removal.

Luckily, Arizona is the driest place in the country.

Luckily, I have zero emotional connection to this house and am more determined than ever to get rid of it.

It is very difficult to see this house in this state, but it is just that, a house and hasn’t been a home in years.

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A Furry New Addition

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Do you remember this post? Adding To Our Family.

Do you recognize these items? They were birthday gifts from Lucas.

What about these? More generous gifts.

Sensing a theme yet?

To die for, right?

Our puppy at 3 weeks.

It has taken seven long months but I have finally successfully begged enough talked my husband into getting a dog!

Our Brittany puppy was born on June 1 and we have to wait patiently until August 7  before we can bring him home.

Lucas holding his very first puppy (ours!) at five weeks. Oh how I wish I could bottle the light on his face!

I am bursting with excitement and a ball of nerves. It’s been a LONG time since I’ve had a pet, but we are having a lot of fun getting ready, thinking up a suitable name and prepping the house.

I owe my dear friend, Suzy an enormous THANK YOU for finding the breeder for us.

Happiness personified!

Now accepting any and all puppy/dog owning advice.

And go!

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This Time Last Year

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It’s been a while since I participated in a Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop, but I have had the best intentions each week as I review the topics. It’s one of my all time favorite link-ups and always gets my creative writing juices flowing.

 This post was written for Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop Prompt 1.) Share what you were blogging about last year at this time…what has changed?


One year ago I was getting over the shock that one year from then I would be turning 40!

So far, so good.

 

Just over a year ago we celebrated our little Lucas’ second birthday with balloons and a BBQ in the backyard. There was family and friends, cupcakes, a bounce house and Thomas the Train.

This year we celebrated three with balloons and a BBQ in the backyard  surrounded by family and friends, cupcakes, a bounce house, a TRAMPOLINE (thanks, Grandma and Grandpa) and Cars. Lots of cars!

 

This time last year Lucas had been enrolled in preschool and would be starting in August.

Tomorrow is Lucas’ last day of preschool before his summer session begins (yay for year-round school) and he loves it (apart from the monthly fire drills that is).

 

Last June we were gearing up for a week in Hawaii!

This year we went to North Carolina. BIG difference!

 

Last summer I was counting down the days to BlogHer ’11.

I won’t be attending BlogHer ’12 in New York City this year, [insert sad face here] but I LOVE being able to call so many people I met last year friends. 

 

It was just over a year ago that we started secondary infertility treatments.

After two failed IVFs, two miscarriages and two “missed” cycles, we are still struggling but remain hopeful.

 

It seems the old adage is true, the more things change, the more they stay the same. Sigh!

What were you doing one year ago?

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Vacation Highlights

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Trust me, I hate hearing about other people’s vacations just as much as the next gal, so I’ll just share the highlights from ours….

In case you missed it, we spent last week in North Carolina attending a wedding in Lake Lure and stayed at the inn where parts of Dirty Dancing was filmed.

Johnny's Cabin (and no, we did not stay here).

We were expecting it to be muggy and gross but instead it was mild and gorgeous, but as with all vacations there were ups and downs. I’ll let you decide which is which.

  • Four hotels in six days is a lot of work with luggage and a three year old.
  • I forgot to pack a hat, towels, beach toys, but was able to purchase all for $40.00. Grrr.
  • Those mountain ranges are beautiful, but the winding roads led to Lucas’ first experience with car sickness, which led to me washing out his soiled clothes and newly acquired towels in a public fountain. It was awesome. My husband took pictures.
  • None of us ever adjusted to the time difference so we didn’t make it to breakfast once (not even the free kind). Dry cereal in our hotel room does not count!
  • Speaking of eating, Lucas ate mac ‘n cheese for all but one meal. Can you say: super embarrassing and not always easy to accommodate?
  • I came home with two mysterious bug bites.
  • Reading the same three children’s books over and over and over again gets old really fast.
  • Over the course of three days, we were in a swimming pool, a lake and a splash pad.
  • One Lightening McQueen was thrown into a fish pond at the lovely Charlotte Airport Sheraton. Luckily, it was retrievable.
  • One of us (ME) missed the wedding ceremony because another one of us (LUCAS) was napping (see bullet point above about time difference adjustment).
  • Too much BBQ, hush puppies and sweet tea were enjoyed.

One of the many reasons I adore traveling is meeting new people and learning something unexpected each day I’m away from home. I suppose I don’t have to travel to do that, but I seem to be more open to it when I’m living out of a suitcase. Here are those highlights:

  • An iPhone can be thrown 20 feet across a room (don’t ask, it was not one of my finest moments) and still work 24 hours later. Those 24 hours were touch-and-go and there was nothing but a black screen and a few tears on on my part, but it came back to me stronger than ever.
  • Brazil has the second largest population of Japanese people (next to Japan, of course) in the world. [wedding reception convo]
  • The most visited winery in the United States isn’t located in Napa Valley. It’s at Biltmore Estate, in the mountains of North Carolina, where approximately 1 million visitors stop by to sample award-winning estate wines each year. Grapes can be imported for processing and bottling to a place that has perfect climate or making wine.
  • A couple having a dinner at a table next to us made a point of coming over to our table to welcome us to North Carolina after overhearing us talk about our home. Southern hospitality truly exists.
  • Once you get home from a vacation and look through all the photos you took, there won’t be a single shot of the entire family together.
  • There is no place like home!

Me completely geeking out on the audio tour at Biltmore Estate.

One of the best parts of our trip for me was of course being together as a family but I also thoroughly enjoyed (as exhibited in the photo above) visiting Biltmore House and Gardens in Asheville. Completed in 1895, George Vanderbilt’s 250-room chateau is as impressive today as it was more than a century ago. Biltmore House is truly an architectural and historical wonder.

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The Golden Years

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A couple of months ago, Rachel of Mommy Needs a Vacation shared a beautiful letter for my series, Letters For You called One Tear.

Rachel wrote a heart wrenching letter to her father, Stinson, whom she was afraid of losing the year before.

Stinson read his daughter’s letter for the first time the day it ran here was compelled to respond.

I am extremely honored to share his words to his daughter with all of you today.

Dear Rachel,

I’ve had a chance to read the letter you wrote several times today. Each time I read it, it brings me to tears. It is not only well written but so obviously heartfelt and sincere. It is a treasure I will covet the rest of my life.

I very much enjoyed this past week when all of you were here. It was a wonderful week in which there were so many special moments with each of you individually as well as a family as a whole. More times than I can tell you during this past week, I thought about the last time you were here with Sadie and Tyler (June 2010). That wasn’t nearly as good a visit because as you know, I was only days away from back surgery and in horrific pain the whole time you were here. It was almost impossible to enjoy the kids on that visit because of the pain although I do remember that the kids were both sweet in their own way and seemed to understand I wasn’t feeling good. There were times they each made me forget about the pain—Sadie asking if I had my yogurt and bread for dinner and Tyler crawling at the speed of light across the room after who knows what.

This past week was a stark contrast to your previous visit. Whether it was Sadie or Tyler asking to use my iPad, hugs in the morning and at bedtime, the expression on Sadie’s face when “driving” the golf cart or Tyler reaching for me the afternoon I got him up from his nap, so many moments generated special memories of fun times and represented the blessings of a life I almost lost. Sharing some of the best wine I have collected over the years with you was something I had dreamed about when you were Tyler’s age but little did I know at the time that the enjoyment of wine would become a shared passion.

Playing golf with you and Josh was something I couldn’t have fathomed in June 2010. Getting to play golf with Josh so many times during the week was wonderful not only because it was fun but because it was special to spend some one on one time with my son-in-law and rejoice in the fact that he is the father of my grandchildren and husband of my daughter. More times than I can recount, you confirmed how good a mother you are and why you have been one of my most cherished pride and joys for over half of my life. I shall never forget the expression on your face when Sadie and I walked in from “playing” golf. You could tell we had a great time before anything was said and without saying so, your expression revealed that you knew she had enjoyed the time with her grandfather.

Life is a gift that becomes more and more precious with time. When you come as close as I did to losing it, as you so aptly expressed in your letter, it becomes all the more precious as experienced last week. Your mother and I are, I suppose, in what is often called the “golden years” and you, Josh, Sadie and Tyler are a big part of why they really and truly are “golden.”

I love you all,
Dad

One very happy grandpa, Christmas 2011

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Michael Bublé Christmas CD Winners!

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We must be one of the few homes that did not get decked out this weekend for the holidays, but when we do, you better believe our soundtrack will be this…. 

The winners of the Michael Bublé Christmas CDs are: Mel (comment #3) and Jessica (comment #13)!

Congratulations, ladies! Enjoy and have a very happy holiday.

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Mindful Eating

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I love food!

I love chips and salsa (the spicier the better), deep dish pepperoni pizza, big fat juicy cheeseburgers with all the fixings and a side of French fries, chocolate chip ice cream, sandwiches never without a bag of potato chips nearby, several glasses of wine at the end of my evenings and at least two Diet Cokes a day.

I didn’t eat poorly every day and when I did, I’d pay for it at the gym, on long walks to and from parks or by depriving myself for days following.

That was then and this is now.

I don’t think about food the same way any more.

It’s been one week since my husband I started the 3-day Ritual Cleanse and all everyone seems to want to know is how much weight we lost.

We didn’t do the juice diet to lose weight, but I did drop three pounds, all of which, I’m sure I have gained back because it was probably just water weight.

More important than the weight loss, I feel good and I did throughout the entire three days of the cleanse. Well, except for a minor headache at the beginning of Day 2, but it was nothing a little green tea couldn’t cure.

Day 1 was just odd. Drinking only juice and peeing A LOT and by bedtime, I was really hungry, but I pressed on…

Day 2 was my best day, I had tons of energy and felt absolutely amazing. Not having that bloated or tired or run down feeling was new to me and I liked it and wanted more of it!

Day 3 went very well too, but I was starting to get nervous about eating “real” food again the following day and didn’t want the goodness I was doing for my body to stop after I had used so much will power to stick to this three day detox.

Day 3 also prompted a lot of conversation about the way we eat as a family and different choices we wanted to make to our diet going forward. I still haven’t had a Diet Coke and don’t know when or if I will. I’m reading more labels at the super market and trying to buy only fresh organic produce and products.

My husband and I are already talking about doing the cleanse again this Spring. Believe me, if I can do it, so can you!!

If you are interested in doing something wonderful for your body in order to reset it and make more mindful eating choices, I highly suggest Ritual Cleanse.

If you have any questions about my experience or want to read more about why we did the cleanse and my half way point, here are two previous posts: Time To Detoxand Ritual Cleanse – Half Way Point and I can always be reached at smadaaynot@yahoo.com.

Thank you, Ritual Cleanse!

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