beach

The Waves Of Motherhood

Posted on March 17, 2015 Written by Tonya

One moment calm and quiet.

Still and serene.

The next vicious and cold.

Loud and puzzling.

We crash into one another like angry waves.

It is powerful, vast and engulfing, completely out of my control.

It can hurt, leave scars and feel like being hit by a Mack truck.

It pushes and pulls and we are tangled up in seaweed, gasping for air.

September, 2014 – La Jolla, California. Lola is 8 months old.

Then suddenly it is peaceful again.

Warm and inviting.

Effortlessly and harmoniously we float side by side.

We each breathe a sigh of relief and prepare for the next wave.

Motherhood is like the waves of the ocean, complicated and challenging but always beautiful and worth riding every wave.

Old School Blogging: Full-On Random

Posted on March 13, 2015 Written by Tonya

I’m linking up with Elaine of The Miss Elaine-ous Life and Julia from Wine in Mom for a little Old School Blogging and today and it is going to get random!

1. If you could be on a reality show which one would you choose?
None! I’m not a fan of reality TV. I think most of it scripted so there’s nothing really “real” about it and it completely salacious and I feel so embarrassed for whomever is being featured. If I had to choose though it’d be Chopped. I’d be the first one kicked off, but I would have a hell of a time with that first basket of mystery items!

2. Name one thing you have saved from your childhood?
I’m a sentimental fool and I’ve saved tons of stuff from my childhood; concert ticket stubs, playbill, favorite dolls, Barbies, and my Raggedy Ann & Andy blankie.

3. If your life had a theme song what would it be?
That’s a hard one, I associate with so many different songs for all the different chapters of my life. I wrote a post called The Soundtrack Of My Life back in 2010 and revisiting it, the only song I’d add is A Thousand Years by Christina Perri because it wouldn’t be my life without it. Incidentally, for the back story on that, I wrote Live & In Person.

4. Where is your happy place?
I’m a homebody by nature, but I gain such peace and clarity by being at the beach.

5. What is one thing about your home that you and your spouse disagree on?
Our dog. Hands-down the worst mistake I’ve ever made in my life was getting a dog and my husband and I argue about him, his care, his behavior, his hair, and his actions all the time!! We don’t argue about anything else.

6. What is your favorite fruit?
Granny Smith apples.

7. Bowtie or regular tie?
I used to work for a complete ~~dick~~ tyrant who wore a bowtie so I’m going with regular.

8. Mexican or Italian (food, not men)?
Hardest question ever. Seriously, how is one to choose? Too much good stuff… Penne all’Arrabbiata, bruschetta, cannoli, chianti, salsa, enchiladas, tequila. Moving on.

9. Where do you want to go on summer vacation?
Anywhere in Europe, but my desire to return to Paris is growing greater by the day! It’s my husband and my favorite city in the world and we are anxious to take our children, but we want them to love it as much as we do so the timing has to be just right!

10. What are your go-to shoes in your closet?
After almost 20 years in SoCal, that’s easy, flip-flops!

Collecting Seashells

Posted on November 19, 2013 Written by Tonya

I have said it before and I’ll say it again, being a mother is the toughest job I have ever had and I’ve had some crummy jobs.

It’s thankless and tiresome and sometimes so frustrating I want to scream, gauge my eyes out and curl up in the fetal position and cry. It’s also rewarding in ways I never thought possible and has taught me so many valuable lessons about love and life and the world around me.

But I digress…

When my husband travels, motherhood is the absolute hardest.

Honest to God, I don’t know how single parents or parents with deployed spouses do it. I suppose they have no choice, so they just do.

Just like Lucas and I have the past five days…. Five days of breakfasts, lunches, dinners, snacks, arguing over screen time, bath time, potty talk, picking up toys and getting shoes on. Five days filled with soccer practice, park visits, hours of games and books, reminders to wash hands and brush teeth, one super fun play date, three viewings of Peter Pan and a beautiful afternoon at the beach collecting seashells.

It was when I finally kicked off my shoes, took a deep breath and got sand under my nails digging for shells with my son that I realized, five days is nothing, I’ve totally got this and I have a great kid! These moments of it just being the two of us are fleeting so I should stop counting down the hours until bedtime and enjoy it.

I may have continued to look at the clock a little more than usual, but we made it through virtually unscathed.

Each time Todd is out of town, I appreciate all that he does to help raise our son, care for our dog, keep our household running smoothly and help my sanity by sharing all of our responsibilities. I am so grateful to have a parenting partner, someone to share the duties, challenges and most of all the love. ______________________________________________________________________________

Day 18: Today I give thanks to my life partner in crime and in all matters of the heart, my husband. I don’t know how (or why) he has put up with me all these years, but I’m glad he has. I love him with all my heart. #30daysofgratitude

Labor Day Weekend: Signs Of A Great Vacation

Posted on September 3, 2013 Written by Tonya

We love San Diego and have missed it desperately since we moved from North County to Orange County almost three years ago. We made a lot of wonderful memories (not to mention friends) in our little beach town of Leucadia and life in general is a lot more laid back in San Diego, so anytime we can get back there, we do! Luckily it’s only a one hour drive south.

We just spent four days in La Jolla as an end of summer, Labor Day weekend getaway and it was just what our family needed.

Our hotel room was steps from the beach, everything we needed was within walking distance and the sand, surf, sea life and sun were in abundance.

More signs of a great vacation:

1. I took a book that I didn’t open once because there was too many other things to do, like people watch, lounge in the sun, follow guitar fish up and down the beach and practice writing our name in the sand.

2. The only shoes I packed were flip flops, there was no make up worn and I left my flat iron at home.

3. When we unpacked, sand was everywhere, and I do mean everywhere, but I didn’t mind a bit.

4. The majority of our dirty laundry consists of bathing suits, towels and cover ups.

5. Tan lines.

6. We took the long way home just to make it last a little longer.

7. For four days someone couldn’t be dragged off the beach if his life depended on it.

8. That same someone fell asleep in the car on the way home.

9. We’re already planning our next visit.

10. We brought home good memories, great photographs and huge smiles.

Our Wednesdays

Posted on August 14, 2013 Written by Tonya

Wednesdays are our days.

Big floppy hats, sunscreen and sand between our toes.

No school.

Watching the sun set, s’mores around a bonfire and patiently waiting for fireworks to light up the night sky.

No extra curricular activities.

Ferris wheel rides, beautiful blue skies and window shopping on the Third Street Promenade.

No chores.

Practicing froggy kicks, striking a ninja pose and squealing with delight going head first down the water slide.

No worries.

Feeding carrots and grapes to rabbits and guinea pigs, panning for gold and burying ourselves in corn.

Just fun.

Making silly faces with long time friends and having second helpings of mac and cheese.

Just us.

Popcorn, fruit chews, garden snails and the Indy 500.

Our only care in the world is to make memories, smile, giggle and occasionally indulge in ice cream.

I wonder where Wednesday will take us today?

If Just For Today

Posted on October 9, 2012 Written by Tonya

Trying with all my might to hold on to the calm that I experienced from my time spent with my family at the sea over the weekend, feeling incredibly blessed today at my good fortune (and even better friends), a bit under the weather and slightly overwhelmed at the rest of the week ahead with a traveling husband, I have this to share…

and remember.

If just for today.

Beach Therapy

Posted on October 7, 2012 Written by Tonya

My husband has taken Lucas on his own several times, but for the first time we went camping as a family this weekend and it was nothing like I expected.

It wasn’t that I was anti-camping before, I just simply had zero interest. Zero interest in going without a shower, sleeping in a bag outdoors, on the ground and wreaking of camp fire smoke.

There was a lot of sand because we were at the beach, but we had access (and used) a coin operated shower within footsteps of our camp site. Other than that, it was delightful and didn’t feel like “roughing it” at all. By morning, I wished we were staying one more night.

There were stars in the sky and that wonderful camp fire aroma, which I do wreak of and probably will for the next couple of days but it’s a small price to pay for the joy in Lucas’ face as he rode his bicycle around the camp grounds, we jumped over waves in the ocean together, devoured s’mores and snuggled up close in a bag on the floor of a tent. Well, in a bag on an air mattress on the floor of a tent.

Being on the beach was my favorite part; hearing the waves last night as we slumbered, watching the surfers early this morning, using our toes to write our names in the sand and feeling the warm sun add a little healthy color to our skin. It was like therapy.

A lot of work goes into camping, between all the gear, shopping, meal planning and preparation, assembly and packing. It’s a delicate balance of work and reward. Todd did the majority of the work for this one night trip, in the hope of (I’m assuming) my return. Next time, I will share the burden. This is one family activity that we will definitely be doing again and soon.

It’s hard for me to put into words why I like the beach so much. Everything about it is renewing for me, almost like therapy… Beach Therapy. – Amy Dykens

Uno Mas Cerveza, Por Favor

Posted on September 4, 2012 Written by Tonya

While everyone is giving three cheers for surviving their child’s first day of school today, I’m cracking open a cold one, sighing heavily and praising God that I survived my first day back from vacation.

Today started way too early and made me wish I had slept more while I was in Cabo San Lucas over the long weekend.

It was the longest I had ever been away from Lucas without hearing his voice or seeing his sweet face… four days and three nights and it was agony, even though I did have a lot of fun and was able to relax like I haven’t been able to in a long time and I thoroughly enjoyed spending time with my girlfriends and laughing like I was 15 again.

Almost as soon as it began, it was over.

I thought of this view at least a dozen times today.

The dog was up three times last night; 2:00 AM, 2:30 AM and then again for good at 6:00. Lucas, on the other hand, slept in until after 7:00. Go figure!

After that, I was in full throttle…. I spent half an hour on the phone arguing with the Tucson Water Company, another 20 minutes pleading with AT&T to reverse $800+ in international roaming charges I did not incur because my phone was out of commission for the four days I was away, I unpacked, did six loads of laundry, picked up and dropped off dry cleaning, made a visit to the super market with meal plans for the entire week, (what can I say, when I can’t sleep, I make lists) took Lucas to swim lessons and a toy store to buy a birthday present (was I gluten for punishment, or what?), played umpteen rounds of Go Fish and read dozens of books while Lucas sat on the potty and lastly, I made a pile of back to school items my little preschooler needs for his big day tomorrow.

There truly is nothing like coming home or being reunited with your family and routine. I live for all three.

Hugs and kisses, catching up on my weekend and theirs, sharing photos and presenting souvenirs as gifts, shaking sand out of travel bags and wringing out swimsuits and stowing away suitcases, followed by more hugs and kisses.

I couldn’t stay away from these three if I tried.

As a side note, I am very proud of Lucas, he (almost) made it through the entire day today in underwear. My head is of course pounding from hearing myself ask, “Do you have to use the potty?” 900 times and I’m only mad at myself for his one accident.

I’d say I earned uno mas cerveza.

The Rush

Posted on December 20, 2010 Written by Tonya

Everything I know about surfing I learned from the 1991 movie Point Break*, which isn’t saying a lot. I live in one of the world’s most popular surf spots and I know nothing about it. I have never been on a board myself but I have always found surfing an intriguing sport, so I wasn’t surprised recently when I spent nearly an hour completely mesmerized by 55 surfers.I watched the tide go in and out dozens of times and I felt like somewhat of a voyeur.

My first observation was that surfers contort their bodies in the most peculiar ways getting in and out of their wet suits, carrying massive and very awkward shaped boards that they then attach to one of their feet. Bizarre. I sat at the water’s edge and thought, how can the ocean be so loud and rough, yet so calming and peaceful at the same time? I frequently walk on the beach and love to take in the sights and smells it offers, but my breath slowed and my body relaxed like it hadn’t in a long time as I positioned myself high on a rock with the beautiful view laid before me.

As the sun glistened on the water, anxious surfers paddled out to sea and there they waited.

And waited.

It was as if they were willing the perfect wave to propel them to shore. Not every wave has a crest capable of such a trip. Surfing is a lesson in patience. It’s a solitary sport.

Just you and the water.

So many factors play a role in providing the perfect wave; the wind, the swell direction and intensity, the time of the year, high or low tide, what’s underneath the water, etc.

Once the right wave appears, the ride and the movements the surfers made looked elegant and effortless from where I sat. Their bodies possessing a balance and ease that I found fascinating. Lyrical.

I didn’t need to question anyone as to why they do it. It’s obvious.

It’s the rush, being one with the water, escaping land and the pursuit of the perfect wave.

Maybe I’ll feel it for myself someday.

*A point break refers to the place where waves hit a point of land or rocks jutting out from the coastline.

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The Waves Of Motherhood

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