Letters For Lucas

Wonders, Mishaps, Blunders and Joy.. commentary on my life as a mom in the form of letters to my son

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Preserving Family History

Posted on October 3, 2012 Written by Tonya

My father was born and raised in Shamrock, a small town 89 miles east of Amarillo in the Texas Panhandle. In its heyday there were 3,778 people living in the once popular stopover on historical Route 66. With the construction of Interstate-40, the town was bypassed and all but forgotten (think of the movie Cars before Lightening came to town). Today there are fewer than 2000 people living in Shamrock.

Shamrock has become a sad and dismal place with many lawns that have not been tended, partly due to harsh winters and frequent droughts, but mostly, I believe, because the residents have lost some of their spirit. With the loss of tourists, Shamrock is little more than home to one of the biggest St. Patrick’s Day celebrations in the country and the famous U-Drop Inn, which inspired Ramone’s auto paint shop in Cars.

My grandfather, Joseph Marshall Adams, owned and operated Adams Motor Freight for a number of years. It was Shamrock’s sole transfer and storage company. He had four trucks that hauled mostly military goods, arms and equipment to US Air Force Bases in Amarillo and Oklahoma City.

In 1944 my grandfather sold his trucking business and purchased the Douglas Hardware Store. He changed the name to Adams Hardware.

Three years later my father was born.

Leroy Wall was one of the store’s most loyal and trusted employees. He made deliveries, repaired refrigerators, washers, driers, installed windmill parts, pipes, etc. Leroy worked at the hardware store for more than 20 years and remained a close family friend for the remainder of his life.

My grandmother, Ruby McCasland Adams, had worked in the early 1930’s for American Telephone and Telegraph Company as a telephone operator. Although she had helped out at the hardware store, she had little knowledge of many of the important functions until my grandfather’s sudden death in 1953 from a heart attack.

Ruby McCasland Adams and my father, Michael (circa 1950). Does Lucas look like my dad or what?

Ruby, with three young sons at home had little choice other than to assume the full responsibility of running Adams Hardware. Leroy Wall was a huge factor in her ultimate success. Her sons Robert, a senior in high school, and David, an eighth grader, helped after school and during school breaks. My father, Michael, was just six years old when he lost his dad, but helped the family out by sweeping floors and other odd jobs.

My grandmother was told by the owners of Kersh-Griffin, one of the competing hardware stores in Shamrock, that her business would not last a year. Already a pillar of strength, I can only imagine what this comment did for her determination. Needless to say, Adams Hardware outlasted the other three hardware stores by many many years.

When Ruby died in a tragic car accident in August 1979, her oldest son Robert elected to stay local and manage the store. David lived, worked and was raising his family in Dallas and my father was about to embark on one of the biggest adventures of his life; he and my mother had accepted teaching positions in Karachi, Pakistan. I had just turned seven years old and would be in my mother’s second grade class that fall.

The hardware store was built in 1900 and to this day is a sight to behold. The original wood floors are still beautiful and the ceiling is entirely covered in tin tiles, probably worth a small fortune. The cash register, scale and safe, as well as the show cases and fixtures date from the late 1800’s. My sister and I have an etched glass scissors case and are proud to have this small reminder of our family’s early years.

Sadly, Adams Hardware has been closed for the past 15 years, along with many of Shamrocks once thriving businesses. The shelves and storage area still contain unsold merchandise and share the space with my uncle Robert’s  vast Coca Cola memorabilia. Everything sits as if frozen in time, preserving memories, family history and collecting dust.

Adams Hardware store front March, 2009.

This post was written with love (and a little help from my aunt Gail and uncle David) for Lucas, Leah, my father and my hero, Ruby.  

Related Posts:

  • Family Tree
  • The Summer Of ’69
  • 10 Things My Parents Did Right

Filed Under: cars, family, grandparents, MSA, photos, TDA bio Tagged With: cars, family, grandparents, history, MSA, photos, TDA bio

A Day In The Life

Posted on September 30, 2012 Written by Tonya

A couple of weeks ago, one of Mama Kat’s Writing Workshop prompts was: Share a day in your life represented only in pictures and the time the pictures were taken.

I loved Katie’s (of Sluiter Nation) so much that I wanted to try one of my own.

This was a fun exercise.

Thursday, September 27:

7:37 AM

8:34 AM Off to preschool!

9:02 AM

9:13 AM

11:02 AM Meeting a friend for a walk and hoping my toenails are dry.

12:37 PM Lunch time.

2:46 PM

3:02 PM Pick up!

4:10 PM

5:22 PM

5:43 PM

7:06 PM Back to School night.

9:22 PM

10:08 PM

10:27 PM Grey’s Anatomy premiere.

11:48 PM My husband always goes to sleep before I do.

Related Posts:

  • This Time It’s Personal
  • Loving & Loathing The Holidays
  • She’s Here!

Filed Under: exercise, friends, life, mama kat's writer's workshop, me time, motherhood, photos, puppy Tagged With: exercise, friends, life, mama kat, me time, photos, puppy, Sluiter Nation

As Seen On Pinterest

Posted on September 24, 2012 Written by Tonya

Let me first preface this post by saying I am not the craftiest mom on the block and I have burned rice at least TWICE, but I can usually follow instructions.

Pinterest, while it may be somewhat of an obsession for me, (I have pinned over 5000 things) it mostly makes me feel inadequate about my life, my body, my homemaking skills and my craft quota. 

I daydream of being that wife and mother that presents her family with four course homemade meals daily, decorates to the nines for each and every holiday, (or and day that end in -y) travels to far-off exotic destinations, always looking stylish and chic while doing any of the above, hand makes everything and knows how to decoupage, macrame and fishtail braid.

Every once in a while, however, I come across an idea I fool myself into believing I can pull off.

Pinterest is a great place for inspiration but the the outcome rarely resembles the picture, at least in my case. But at least I try…

Here are three of my latest attempts that are worthy of sharing!

The Pin – Book Cover Art Work

Click on image for source and how-to.

The Project

I’m pretty happy with the way this project turned out and actually like it better than the pin. Lucas was very excited about it too,  although you wouldn’t know it by his expression. O_o

SIDE NOTE #1: I was a little disappointed that I e-mailed the original crafter for some help and have yet to hear back.

SIDE NOTE #2: 3M Super 77 multi-purpose adhesive is super nasty sticky stuff! If attempting this project, wear gloves at all times. Just saying.

The Pin – Photo Ideas For Boys

Click on image for source.

The Project

Lucas is crazy about cars and was really into this shoot, especially the set-up.

The Pin – Pumpkin Chocolate Chip Bread

Click on image for source and recipe.

The Project 

A complete and utter fail!

Photos of food always look better than the real thing, so please refrain from licking the screen.

Ack!

This was a complete disaster, AKA #PinterestFAIL.

After cooling for over an hour, I shook the loaf out of the pan and it fell into itself. Maybe I used too much pumpkin puree, my other ingredients were old, or I missed a step but clearly this did not turn out the way it was suppose to.

For more Pinterest projects that I have tried, visit my board, aptly titled Pinterest Projects I Have Tried. Clever, no? 

Have you made any Pinterest projects come to life lately? How many have gone awry?

Click on image for source.

Linking up with Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop. Prompt #4 Choose an item you recently pinned on Pinterest and…TRY IT! Was it a success or failure?

Related Posts:

  • For The Love Of All Things Pinned
  • Looking Forward
  • Me

Filed Under: arts & crafts, books, challenges, cooking, funny, inspiration, mama kat's writer's workshop, photos, pinterest Tagged With: arts & crafts, books, challenges, cooking, funny, inspiration, mama kat's writer's workshop, photos, pinterest

If You Give A Kid A Camera

Posted on September 23, 2012 Written by Tonya

From time to time my phone goes missing for a few minutes. When I get it back I’m always surprised to discover what new images have been added. Here are a few latest gems.

These photos have not been filtered or adjusted in any way.

Clearly.

One lone shoe.

Mommy ordering photos.

Toys.

Lovey.

Mommy eating a chicken sandwich or maybe he was trying to capture the view.

Someone was having a good hair day.

This one we posed for.

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  • Lego
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Filed Under: funny, iphone, photos Tagged With: funny, iphone, photos

Class Of 2026

Posted on September 6, 2012 Written by Tonya

How did this…

June 6, 2009

…become this?

September 5, 2012

It feels as though it was just yesterday that I was counting your fingers and toes, learning to perfect the swaddle and swaying you to sleep. Now you know all the planets, are learning to read and have strong opinions on where you’d like to go out for dinner.

You are the gift that keeps on giving and you make me smile each and every day.

Have an awesome second year of school, Lucas! Mommy and Daddy are so proud of you.

Related Posts:

  • A Hundred Hearts
  • The Wedding
  • Back To School

Filed Under: love, memories, milestones, photos, praise, school Tagged With: love, memories, milestones, photos, praise, school

Uno Mas Cerveza, Por Favor

Posted on September 4, 2012 Written by Tonya

While everyone is giving three cheers for surviving their child’s first day of school today, I’m cracking open a cold one, sighing heavily and praising God that I survived my first day back from vacation.

Today started way too early and made me wish I had slept more while I was in Cabo San Lucas over the long weekend.

It was the longest I had ever been away from Lucas without hearing his voice or seeing his sweet face… four days and three nights and it was agony, even though I did have a lot of fun and was able to relax like I haven’t been able to in a long time and I thoroughly enjoyed spending time with my girlfriends and laughing like I was 15 again.

Almost as soon as it began, it was over.

I thought of this view at least a dozen times today.

The dog was up three times last night; 2:00 AM, 2:30 AM and then again for good at 6:00. Lucas, on the other hand, slept in until after 7:00. Go figure!

After that, I was in full throttle…. I spent half an hour on the phone arguing with the Tucson Water Company, another 20 minutes pleading with AT&T to reverse $800+ in international roaming charges I did not incur because my phone was out of commission for the four days I was away, I unpacked, did six loads of laundry, picked up and dropped off dry cleaning, made a visit to the super market with meal plans for the entire week, (what can I say, when I can’t sleep, I make lists) took Lucas to swim lessons and a toy store to buy a birthday present (was I gluten for punishment, or what?), played umpteen rounds of Go Fish and read dozens of books while Lucas sat on the potty and lastly, I made a pile of back to school items my little preschooler needs for his big day tomorrow.

There truly is nothing like coming home or being reunited with your family and routine. I live for all three. 

Hugs and kisses, catching up on my weekend and theirs, sharing photos and presenting souvenirs as gifts, shaking sand out of travel bags and wringing out swimsuits and stowing away suitcases, followed by more hugs and kisses.

I couldn’t stay away from these three if I tried.

As a side note, I am very proud of Lucas, he (almost) made it through the entire day today in underwear. My head is of course pounding from hearing myself ask, “Do you have to use the potty?” 900 times and I’m only mad at myself for his one accident.

I’d say I earned uno mas cerveza.

Related Posts:

  • How I Beat The Post-Holiday Blues
  • 10 Things To Smile About
  • The City By The Bay: Thanksgiving 2014

Filed Under: beach, family, friends, home, me time, photos, potty training, praise, travel, vacation Tagged With: beach, family, friends, home, me time, photos, potty training, praise, travel, vacation

This Time It’s Personal

Posted on August 26, 2012 Written by Tonya

My posts have been sparse and a little on the light side lately. I’ve experienced blog burn out before and taken blogging breaks. I’ve even experienced writer’s block, but this is different.

This time it’s personal.

Where have I been you ask?

I promised myself to take some of the pressure off during the month of August.

I told myself I needed focus on something other than my (in)fertility, medications, hormone levels, doctor’s appointments and marking days on the calendar.

I wanted wear little to no make-up, let my hair dry naturally, throw on a baseball cap and s l o w down, get back in touch with myself and my family and friends and just be for a while.

Relaxing is so hard for me and like many of you, I struggle with being present, being truly in the moment and realizing that so much of what I actually need is in the simple things; a wag of a new puppy’s tail, my son’s face lighting up as he gets the last puzzle piece to fit, the satisfying feeling of sweat dripping down my back, belly laughs and good cries.

So far I’m pleased with my progress…

My husband and I celebrated our five year anniversary by spending the weekend in San Francisco. We rented Segways, walked across the Golden Gate Bridge and enjoyed some fabulous dinners. A big huge thank you to my in-laws for keeping Lucas while we did so.

We’ve been having fun getting acquainted with our new puppy, Charlie Pasta!

I’ve been living deadline free, having quit my freelance job the end of July.

I took Lucas on a trip to Santa Barbara to visit with high school friends, a couple I hadn’t seen in a dozen years. We picked up right where we left off, which is the great thing about old friendships!

This trip also marked my first time taking Lucas in a pool by myself. It was challenging at first, but a huge success. He is such a fish and we had a blast!

I have been staying up too late to read rather than play on my phone or struggle to pump out a blog post and after a mandatory three month hiatus, I have picked up my hot yoga classes again.

I’m spending more time outside and soaking up what is left of summer. There have been trips to the library in search of books about dinosaurs, many rounds of Go Fish, lots of pretend play, several hours logged in front of the TV watching the XXX Summer Games and Scooby Doo, countless walks around the neighborhood with our new furry friend and last week I was able to spend three glorious hours at the Getty Center by MYSELF.

All I have wanted to do is spend time with my sweet family, practice living in the moment and keep cool! I hope you are doing much of the same.

I’ll be back soon.

When was the last time you took a blogging break? I highly recommend it!

Incidentally, today marks my third year blogging. Ironic, no?

Related Posts:

  • Looking Forward
  • The Summer That Was
  • Two Years Old

Filed Under: blog, blogoversary, books, exercise, friends, IVF, milestones, photos, puppy, simple joys, Smart Mom Style, summer, travel Tagged With: blog, blogoversary, books, exercise, friends, IVF, milestones, photos, puppy, simple joys, Smart Mom Style, summer, THREE YEARS!!, travel

Puppies & Preschoolers

Posted on August 9, 2012 Written by Tonya

In addition to feeling so sleep deprived I can’t even see straight and riddled with worried that I’m doing something terribly wrong, puppies and preschoolers are similar in a lot more ways than I thought:

  • Both require A LOT of gear. I thought we were prepared before we brought Charlie Pasta home on Tuesday, but I have made two trips to PetCo and one to Target to get MORE stuff.
  • Both love being chased around the backyard and it is a joy to watch.

  • Both love snacks / treats throughout the day.
  • Potty training both (or either) at the sane time (anytime) is a huge pain-in-the-ass/nearly impossible/difficult. 
  • I have checked both while they were sleeping to make sure they were still breathing.
  • Both get a lot of photographs taken of them, which is good for them because they also both LOVE to be the center of attention.

A boy and his dog.

  • Both cry for what they want. And usually get it. CASE AND POINT: me sleeping next to the crate so he won’t be lonely. Oh, my aching back and bleeding heart!
  • Both want to be right underfoot at all times. I admit that I have stepped on both more than once and I have accepted the fact that I will never pee alone again.
  • Both mistake bedtime for playtime. CASE AND POINT: of the FIVE times I let Charlie out last night, he only peed ONCE. Sigh…
  • Both smell like magic, can bring a smile to your face no matter what mood you’re in and are always happy to see you.
  • Both are absolute angels when they are asleep.

Are you kidding me? I die!

While it is not without it’s challenges, parenthood and puppyhood are two of the best roles I’ve ever had and I am over the moon with delight with the latest, but I am so looking forward to Charlie sleeping through the night.

Related Posts:

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  • Collecting Seashells
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Filed Under: challenges, list, parenthood, photos, potty training, puppy Tagged With: challenges, list, parenthood, photos, potty training, puppy

Looking Forward

Posted on July 25, 2012 Written by Tonya

I have been so down in the dumps lately with our infertility journey coming to a much needed break (for now) and the recent damage I’m having to deal with at my parents house that when I saw Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop prompts for this week, I couldn’t help but pick #1: Share one good thing you’re looking forward to.

I have found that it is so important to see the good in your life, especially when you feel like the walls are caving in around you and all you want to do is cry.

Mine is a very blessed life and I have so much more to make me smile than frown and came up with not one, but SEVEN really great things that I’m looking forward to:

1. Seeing Iris with my sister this weekend.

Click on image for source.

2. Celebrating our five year anniversary in San Francisco next weekend.

3. Bringing home our puppy home  on August 7.

Taken on July 24. Puppy is 7 1/2 weeks old!

4. A new pile of books to tackle! I just read The Night Circus by Erin Morgenstern and if it is possible, it made me fall in love with reading all over again. Seriously, if you haven’t read this book, please do, it’s absolutely magical.

Here are three others I’m anxious to snuggle up with!

5. Duran Duran concert with my girlfriends on August 11!

6. Mastering the camel pose – someday, I hope! And look this elegant while doing it. Sigh.

Click on image for source.

7. More moments like this with Lucas, someone I look forward to being with every single day: 

What are you looking forward to?

 This post was written for Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop Prompt #1) Share one good thing you’re looking forward to.

Related Posts:

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Filed Under: aunt leah, books, current events, friends, list, mama kat's writer's workshop, photos, puppy, simple joys, travel Tagged With: aunt leah, books, current events, friends, list, mama kat's writer's workshop, photos, puppy, simple joys, travel

Six Handwritten Pages

Posted on July 16, 2012 Written by Tonya

When our parents died, my sister and I kept many of their personal items; we divided up family heirlooms, knick knacks, books, photos and letters.

Some of the things I brought home with me have been incorporated into my own, such as their Christmas tree ornaments, which now adorn my tree. Many items have been donated after realizing I didn’t need or want them and some have simply tucked away until I’m ready to look at them or have a house big enough in which I can display them properly.

While rummaging through a closet in our loft last week, I found a stack of letters my father had written to my mother.

How ironic that that very day for Fat Mum Slim’s Photo of the Day for July, the topic was “letters”. I grabbed them, took a photo and posted it on Instagram with the following message:

A handful of letters my father wrote my mother. I haven’t been able to read them because the sight of my father’s handwriting is almost too much to bear.

I meant every word.

Seeing his handwriting is hard.

Harder than I ever could have imagined.

Plus, these aren’t my letters so I’m not even certain I should read them.

On one hand, it’s tantalizing to read something addressed to someone else knowing it was never meant for my eyes and on the other, I wonder what clues they can provide about my mother and father’s relationship and do I really want to know? They were written a long time ago, back before my parents were married. 

For now I’ve decided they will stay tucked safely in the closet.

Within the stack, there were also a few other letters; letters my grandmother had written her daughter, letters my other grandmother had written her soon to be daughter-in-law, letters my aunt had written her soon to be sister-in-law and a notepad. Clearly these were precious to my mother, stacked and kept together with a piece of red string.

The note pad was the most intriguing. Inside I discovered mostly blank pages until the very back where there were six handwritten pages.

Both sides.

Page one begins: “It all started…”

With those three words my heart skipped a beat as I foolishly believed I was about to gain some insight into my mother’s young mind and personality.

She refers to wanting to “this to be her story” and a “manuscript”. It seems she was attempting to document her life.

Growing up, I did not have the type of relationship with my mother that I had hoped for. She was distant and indifferent and I was always searching for ways for us to be closer. Could these six pages hold the secrets to my mother or a special message just for me?

In the end, the pages held no clues and were nothing more than a school girl’s account of a family that moved around a lot. Clearly this was just the beginning of something she had intended to write and share someday.

Once again I had learned nothing of any great significance about the woman that raised me and as so many times before was left with an incredible amount of sadness and disappointment.

How can a person no longer here still make me feel this way?

Related Posts:

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  • Family Tree
  • I Thought Of You Today

Filed Under: grief, KRA, loss, memories, MSA, photos Tagged With: grief, KRA, letters, loss, memories, MSA, photos

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