Letters For Lucas

Wonders, Mishaps, Blunders and Joy.. commentary on my life as a mom in the form of letters to my son

My Blank Pages

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Happy New Year! I hope your 2015 is off to a stupendous start.

Although I’m not quite sure why, I just renewed my domain name.

I only blogged 83 times last year.

83.

Pathetic, right?

Especially for someone who has so much to say.

Blogging has changed a lot in the last six years but my reasons for doing it have not. It’s primarily for myself, to keep family and friends updated and for my children to read someday.

I had planned to share photos of our Christmas (Lola’s first!), a 2014 recap and my New Year resolutions (read and write MORE!!), but I doubt that’s going to happen.

I’m sitting here staring at a blinking cursor and thinking about all the blank pages ahead of me, all the words I will use to fill 2015. I have high hopes of being more disciplined and consistent with my writing and actually making some of the blog post ideas I have a reality. I look forward to confidently submitting my writing and on the days I’m not writing or fretting over writing, I hope I’m living in the moment.

I have a full and very rich life and my blank pages will fill themselves.

Eventually.

I hope you will stick around for the ride, no matter how infrequent.

blank page

 

 

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Word Of The Year

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Okay, so the first month of the new year is almost over and I’m just now getting around to this…

It seems like a silly exercise, picking a single word or theme for the entire year, but I prefer it over making resolutions any day and it does help to focus on want is truly important.

Last year it came to me so easily… the word peace. It was what I was seeking, longing for and needing so desperately in my life.

Just days after the new year began I found out I was yet again not pregnant following a third or fourth (I lost count) IUI. It had been our 13th attempt and I was depressed and angry and although somehow not ready to give up, ready for resolution and peace. Peace in my heart and quiet in my mind.

Two months later we ended up back where had started, at IVF and this time it proved successful and with it came some peace and a lot of joy but always tethered with doubt and worry.

I don’t know that I necessarily achieved the level of peace I was looking for in 2013, but there were certainly moments when I felt reflective and rested, as if everything was going to be okay. I carried that feeling with me throughout the year and throughout my pregnancy.

The last half of 2013 came with many changes for our family and lots of upheaval, a big move into our dream house and now we are in the throes of getting ready for our new baby. It’s a very exciting time!

This year I want to embrace all the change headed my way and be with it.

Fully.
Completely.
Absolutely.
Perfectly.

Come what may….

embrace

What’s your word of the year and are you living up to it so far?

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The Year That Was

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I love new years, fresh starts and having a calendar full of blank pages just aching to be filled with fun activities and new memories.

I also enjoy looking back on the year that was and 2013 was a big one for me and my family. Here are some of our highlights, many of which I have shared here, click on links for posts you may have missed.

January
I discovered Cardio Barre and became obsessed, attending classes two to three times per week through May.

My first infertility post ran on SheKnows. The column ran for six months and still helps woman today.

February
I submitted a piece I wrote called We Are Enemies to Listen To Your Mother in Sacramento.

March
I auditioned for Listen To Your Mother and was selected to be a part of the 2013 cast!

We were kicked out of the house we were renting because of our dog and moved into a two-bedroom apartment.

On St. Patrick’s Day, I had my second egg retrieval.

My girlfriend and I attended a Sweet 16 NCAA basketball game… U of A (our alma mater) vs. Ohio.

April
In order to detox, I drank a smoothie a day for the entire month and went on a strict no buying program!

May
We transferred one embryo and it worked!!

I met my sister’s boyfriend for the first time.

June
Charlie Pasta turned one year old!

Lucas turned four years old!

I saw Mumford & Sons and Beyonce in concert.

Lucas went to his first baseball game.

After the better part of five years, my sister and I finally sold our parents house in Tucson.

I celebrated my 41st birthday.

July
We spent Fourth of July weekend in Santa Barbara.

I made it to 12 weeks!

I saw Justin Timberlake and Jay Z in concert and to date, it was one of the best!!

August
My husband and I celebrated our sixth anniversary and we found out we were having a girl!

Lucas spent three nights with his grandparents while Todd and I were in Monterrey.

Lucas and I spent a fun beach day with Robin and her family in San Diego.

I graduated from my fertility doctor’s office.

Letters for Lucas turned four years old!

September
We spent Labor Day weekend in La Jolla.

My dear friend, Nichole flew down from Sacramento for one night to join me at a Dave Matthews Band concert.

October
We lit sky lanterns and remembered our parents six years later.

I saw Katy Perry & Friends in concert with my sister.

My sister and I took Lucas to visit my aunt and uncle in Dallas.

November
We moved into our new house!!

I saw Justin Timberlake in concert again!

I made it to the critical 32 week point of my pregnancy.

December
Lucas started going to preschool four days a week

We hosted Christmas in our new house.

I calculated that I walked 365 miles this year!

I’m looking forward to all that lies ahead and wishing each of you a brilliant 2014!

new year

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My Only Resolution

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I hope your 2013 is off to a super start! I spent the morning de-Christmasing our house. It only took three hours, one break to walk to the dog to Starbucks for a much need caffeine fix and one very patient little boy, who ended up being a very big helper.

As I gently wrapped each ornament, followed my struggled to get the tree out of its stand, swept up all the loose pine needles and re-read each holiday greeting card, I thought about what changes I’d like to make in the New Year.

Typically, New Year’s resolutions have never particularly worked (for lack of a better word) for me, but I did keep coming back to one thing.

All I really want from 2013 is to unplug and read more.

book

That’s it.

One hour a night.

Tops.

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I think I can do that.

goodbok

I know I can do that.

I owe it to myself.

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Reading brings me so much happiness and I am ashamed to admit I only read 12 books in 2012 and I really wish I didn’t not have to count the 50 Shades of Grey series.

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I am currently devouring Gone Girl, what have you read and loved lately? Do you make New Year’s resolutions? Care to share?

All of the images used in this post are from my Pinterest board aptly called books.

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Happy New Year!

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Once upon a time…

There’s something magical about a beginning.

A fresh start.

A different approach.

A new way of looking at things.

A promise of things to come.

My Letters For Lucas tag line used to be: The best is yet to be and I still believe that. Wholeheartedly.

I don’t make New Year’s resolutions anymore, but I do several things each and every January 1 to get ready for the year ahead…. I start using a new tooth brush and new tube of mascara, I wash all my make up brushes, put a new box of Arm & Hammer baking soda in the refrigerator, mail our holiday thank you cards and fill out a new paper calendar (I’m old school that way). 

This year, I want more of the same… to go a little easier on myself and those around me, breathe a little deeper, love a little stronger, hold on a little tighter, learn to live in the moment and drink more water.

I’m expecting BIG things from 2012, not withstanding a little work on my part. 

I hope your New Year is off to a fabulous start and that everything you set out to do this year happens just the way it’s meant to.


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A New Year

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2010 was a year of highs and lows for our household. Luckily the highs outweighed the lows and in many cases I shared them on Letters For Lucas

Here are (just) the highlights:
January – Leah moved to Los Angeles.
March – I got my third tattoo.
April/May – We took a very memorable trip to Australia and New Caledonia, where I got to see my dearest and oldest friend, Sophie again after 10 long years.
May – A fun girl’s weekend to San Luis Obispo.
August – Lady Gaga in concert with Leah.
August – Letters For Lucas turned one.
September – Todd started his new business, European Classic Cars on PCH.
September – I gave Seattle another shot, fell in love and got to see my friend Siobhain again after 25 years.
October – I participated in my third Susan G. Komen 3-Day Walk, second with my sister and I got to cross ‘walk over the Golden Gate Bridge’ off my Bucket List.
December – We moved to Orange County.

December – Leah and I took Lucas to Disneyland for his visit time.

Looking forward to 2011, but not a big proponent of New Year’s Resolutions per se, my goals tend to be very similar from year to year:
  • Exercise more
  • Read more
  • Cook more
  • Be present no matter what I’m doing or who I’m with. Be in the moment.

And this year, I am on a mission to declutter our home starting with Lucas’ toys and books, but more on that in another post.

What’s on your agenda for the next 364 days of the year? Let’s make ’em count!
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2010

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2010?! Boy, does that sound weird. I love a new year and I am really looking forward to starting a whole new decade.

I do have a short list of some of my new year’s resolutions. I rarely enter into a new year without them and they are different each year. What can I say, I’m a realist; if I can’t or don’t do it, I remove it from the list! I am usually successful though. 🙂 This year, I vow to:

  • Start reading again, at least one hour a day. Oh, how I miss it!
  • Work out with a trainer twice a week and walk on my own four to five days a week on the quest to get my biscuit back in shape. I am off to a great start on this one; having already walked nine miles in 2010 so far.
  • Start working on baby #2 (scary thought!).
  • Walk across the Golden Gate Bridge, preferably with you in the BOB.
  • Use a cloth bag every. single. time. I go to the grocery store. Incidentally, this was my gift to all of my girlfriends this Christmas.
  • Organize our photos into album, boxes, frames, zip lock bags–something, anything just as long as they aren’t in piles.
  • Learn to live without so many magazines in my life. So far, I have already let five of my 10 subscriptions go. Yay for me! I should be reading books anyway.
  • Spend more time in the kitchen cooking (AKA learn to cook). I have collected yummy sounding recipes for years and it is time to try them out.

I am also really looking forward to my sister moving to Los Angeles (today!), selling our parents house (fingers crossed), our trip to Australia and New Caledonia in April and continuing to watch you grow and flourish.

I wish you and yours a wonderful new year filled with much love, laughter, prosperity and vibrant health.

The best is most certainly yet to be.

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