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How I Beat The Post-Holiday Blues

Posted on December 28, 2013 Written by Tonya

Our first Christmas in our new house was a memorable one and the 75+ degree temperatures have been weird and wonderful. I loved having my in-laws, sister and her boyfriend staying with us and still can’t believe all of my recipes turned out exactly the way they were suppose to. I think spent more time in the kitchen over the last week than I have all year (more on this in another post)! And nothing can compare to a child’s excitement over Santa’s arrival. Lucas was a ball of energy all week!

But now it’s over.

Just like that.

For me the worst part of Christmas is the aftermath: the tree has been taken down, most of the gifts have either been exchanged, returned for the correct size or put away, the last of the pie has been eaten, family and friends have gone home, the mailbox is no longer bursting with greetings and thank you cards have been started.

It’s sad.

So much excitement and anticipation goes into prepping for the holidays and then all at once, it’s over and the warm fuzzy feelings disappear.

Here are some ways I like to combat the post-holiday blues:

Create a scrapbook or fun collage to commemorate holiday memories.

Begin (or in my case, resume) an exercise program. I went for a walk this morning and it was mind clearing and felt great.

Daydream about summer and our next family vacation. We’re thinking Mexico and yes, with a new baby!

Do something productive… as if I haven’t been productive the last few months, making a baby and moving, etc., but I spent some time getting Lucas signed up for swim lessons, soccer and researched karate classes. I also packed a bag for the hospital and renewed my domain name. All of these tasks have been on my To Do list for weeks and I’m glad to have them behind me.

Treat myself. Like me, chances are you have been cooking and baking for family and friends and buying for others, so now is the time to schedule a massage or hair appointment, or some quiet time alone to curl up with a good book (or my brand new Kindle Paperwhite!!).

I know I’m not the only one that feels this way, so I reached out to a friend and we had a great phone call recapping the last few days and planning for the upcoming weeks.

How do you avoid the post holiday blues?

Whatever you do to get through this time, know that these feelings will soon pass and more good times are in store!

Have You Ever?

Posted on November 26, 2012 Written by Tonya

Have you ever felt giddy over getting another stamp in your passport?

Have you ever been approached on the street in Yaletown and asked if you needed help with directions, restoring your faith in the kindness of strangers?

Have you ever been caught in the rain on Robson Street and laughed so hard you cried?

Have you ever seen a twinkle in your husband’s eye as he points out the building he used to live in on Georgia Street?

Have you ever sang karaoke to a room full of strangers at Hollywood North and it made your heart do cartwheels inside your chest?

Have you ever tasted the tomato soup with goat cheese at Cardero’s in Coal Harbor and swear you could eat it every day this winter and never grow tired of it?

Have you ever felt as though your problems at home really were a million miles away?

Have you ever pushed your son’s stroller through Stanley Park?

Have Aurora and Qila, the beluga whales at the Vancouver Aquarium ever smiled at you?

Have you ever walked across suspension bridges 230 feet above the Capilano River while your knees quaked with fear?

Have you ever taken a photo of your husband and son swimming in the hotel pool from your 22nd floor window?

Have you ever celebrated Thanksgiving with filet mignon and chocolate cake at Hy’s Steakhouse?

Have you ever written the top 10 items you are most grateful for on the back of a wine list in crayon?

Have you ever watched your child experience something as magical as snow for the first time and it completely took your breath away?

Have you ever been in 32 degrees, worn four layers of clothing and still couldn’t get warm?

Have you ever heard the delicate sound of snow melting off of tree branches?

Have you ever watched the pastry chef at Chateau Whistler masterfully assemble a life-sized gingerbread house in the lobby?

Have you ever bought souvenirs at Granville Market?

Have you ever been to a place that you just couldn’t describe in words?

Have you ever been to British Columbia?

During our week in Vancouver and Whistler I had all of these sensations and experiences. My senses were truly on overdrive and it was an amazing week. We are already planning our next visit.

On My Mind

Posted on November 2, 2012 Written by Tonya

The trees in my front and back yard are standing tall and proud.

Many are not.

My neighborhood is intact.

Many are not.

I know where my next meal is coming from.

Many do not.

I know where I’m sleeping tonight, warm and snug in my bed next to my husband with my son just as safe down the hall.

Many do not.

I have hot water and power.

Many do not.

I drove through a gas station to fill up this morning and it took less than five minutes.

Many are waiting hours upon hours.

My family and friends are safe.

My dog is at my feet.

I am grateful beyond measure.

It is the very least I could do….

Click on image for more information on how you can donate too.

Before starting dinner tonight, I told Lucas about the hurricane on the East Coast in the simplest terms that a three year old mind can comprehend and he asked by name if each and every one of the important people in his everyday life were okay; Aunt Leah, Grandma, Grandpa, Uncle Gary, Aunt Heidi, Annabelle, Francesca, Uncle David, Aunt Gail, Miss Sharon, Laura, Colleen, Jackson, etc., etc. and then he asked if we would have a big storm too.

As I choked back my tears I assured him we were safe.

We then listed all of the things that we were thankful for starting with each other.

The millions affected by Superstorm Sandy are on our minds tonight and should be on yours.

Vacation Highlights

Posted on June 7, 2012 Written by Tonya

Trust me, I hate hearing about other people’s vacations just as much as the next gal, so I’ll just share the highlights from ours….

In case you missed it, we spent last week in North Carolina attending a wedding in Lake Lure and stayed at the inn where parts of Dirty Dancing was filmed.

Johnny's Cabin (and no, we did not stay here).

We were expecting it to be muggy and gross but instead it was mild and gorgeous, but as with all vacations there were ups and downs. I’ll let you decide which is which.

Four hotels in six days is a lot of work with luggage and a three year old.
I forgot to pack a hat, towels, beach toys, but was able to purchase all for $40.00. Grrr.
Those mountain ranges are beautiful, but the winding roads led to Lucas’ first experience with car sickness, which led to me washing out his soiled clothes and newly acquired towels in a public fountain. It was awesome. My husband took pictures.
None of us ever adjusted to the time difference so we didn’t make it to breakfast once (not even the free kind). Dry cereal in our hotel room does not count!
Speaking of eating, Lucas ate mac ‘n cheese for all but one meal. Can you say: super embarrassing and not always easy to accommodate?
I came home with two mysterious bug bites.
Reading the same three children’s books over and over and over again gets old really fast.
Over the course of three days, we were in a swimming pool, a lake and a splash pad.
One Lightening McQueen was thrown into a fish pond at the lovely Charlotte Airport Sheraton. Luckily, it was retrievable.
One of us (ME) missed the wedding ceremony because another one of us (LUCAS) was napping (see bullet point above about time difference adjustment).
~~Too much~~ BBQ, hush puppies and sweet tea were enjoyed.

One of the many reasons I adore traveling is meeting new people and learning something unexpected each day I’m away from home. I suppose I don’t have to travel to do that, but I seem to be more open to it when I’m living out of a suitcase. Here are those highlights:

An iPhone can be thrown 20 feet across a room (don’t ask, it was not one of my finest moments) and still work 24 hours later. Those 24 hours were touch-and-go and there was nothing but a black screen and a few tears on on my part, but it came back to me stronger than ever.

Brazil has the second largest population of Japanese people (next to Japan, of course) in the world. [wedding reception convo]

The most visited winery in the United States isn’t located in Napa Valley. It’s at Biltmore Estate, in the mountains of North Carolina, where approximately 1 million visitors stop by to sample award-winning estate wines each year. Grapes can be imported for processing and bottling to a place that has perfect climate or making wine.

A couple having a dinner at a table next to us made a point of coming over to our table to welcome us to North Carolina after overhearing us talk about our home. Southern hospitality truly exists.

Newborn puppies can die from something tragic called Fading Puppy Syndrome (again, don’t ask).

Once you get home from a vacation and look through all the photos you took, there won’t be a single shot of the entire family together.

There is no place like home!

Me completely geeking out on the audio tour at Biltmore Estate.

One of the best parts of our trip for me was of course being together as a family but I also thoroughly enjoyed (as exhibited in the photo above) visiting Biltmore House and Gardens in Asheville. Completed in 1895, George Vanderbilt’s 250-room chateau is as impressive today as it was more than a century ago. Biltmore House is truly an architectural and historical wonder.

Holiday Blues

Posted on December 14, 2011 Written by Tonya

Do you ever feel melancholy during the holidays?

Have you ever wondered how (or why) those around you are so merry and bright?

I do and periodically it makes me want to push cheerful types right into oncoming traffic.

I think it’s pretty common to get the blues this time of the year, or at least I hope so. Well, maybe not the pushing part.

There’s a lot of pressure that comes with the holiday season: over commercialization that begins the day after Halloween, finding the perfect gifts, figuring out to pay for them, taking the perfect photo for your family holiday card, getting them in the mail, decorating your home top to bottom, creating (or maintaining) all those warm and wonderful traditions, etc., etc., etc.

The holidays also mark the end of the year and maybe you haven’t accomplished all that you had hoped to and that’s a tough realization.

This time of the year is meant to be spent with your loved ones, but perhaps you live miles apart and can’t be together or they are no longer with us and the memory of them is easier to conjure.

Maybe there are other reasons that are contributing to your sadness; financial hardship, family feuds, frustrations at work, no job to speak of, it’s too cold, or no special “someone” in your life.

My losses and heartaches are no different than yours, but during this time of the year when To Do lists are long and patience is short, they are a little too close to the surface.

I know that this overwhelming feeling will soon pass and nothing will be sweeter than turning the page on the calendar to a fresh new year full of possibilities.

In the meantime, I am trying not to overindulge or run myself ragged, doing my best to keep up with my exercise routine and taking on each task one at a time. Trust me, I am NOT always this productive.

Whatever your woes, try to find something this holiday season to make you smile and press on. It’ll be over soon and you don’t want to miss it!

Would this help?

Do you experience holiday blues? How do you manage your stress level?

Mesmerized

Posted on November 4, 2011 Written by Tonya

The sky was full of dark clouds and it was pouring rain when we woke up on Friday morning. Our outdoor plans needed adjusting…. fast!

Enter: The Aquarium of the Pacific

We have been once before, but not since Lucas was a year old. You can read about it here. I was bound and determined to make this visit different.

I have always thought there was something incredibly soothing about watching fish and other glorious sea creatures effortlessly move through water and clearly, so does Lucas.

He stood and starred completely mesmerized by starfish, sea horse, otters, jelly fish and stringray. The expression on his face was calm and wonderful.

It was the perfect rainy day outing for us.

Plus, we got to wear our new rain boots!

The Hole In My Heart

Posted on October 14, 2011 Written by Tonya

October used to mean feeling Fall in the air and spying Halloween merchandise on every aisle at the supermarket and being greeted by big shinny round pumpkins with glowing smiles on my neighbors front porches.

October meant the nights were getting longer and the air a little cooler. Not quite flannel jammies time, but close.

Conversations about how to spend Thanksgiving begin and Christmas shopping lists are started in October.

Now October has a new meaning.

In particular October 15, but the days leading up to it and the days preceding are tough too.

October 15 used to have no significance to me at all, just another day on the calendar.

Now it marks the anniversary of my parents’ death.

Today they have been gone for four years. 1460 days. It’s hard to believe it has been that long.

I dread the anniversary the most; more than their birthdays, more than Christmas, more than Mother’s Day, Father’s Day or their anniversary. The day I was notified my parents had died was the worst day and every October 15, I relive it. And every year I think it’s going to be a little easier, and it’s not.

I’ll never forgot sitting in my friend Suzy’s kitchen two weeks after the memorial service and watching her eyes fill with tears as she talked about her own father’s passing as if it happened the day before. He had died 30 years earlier.

In some ways this was strangely comforting to me; knowing I wasn’t alone in my grieve for a lost loved one and in other ways it made me even sadder than I already was. I realized this wasn’t something I was going to “get over”, I realized that death is as permanent as grieve and I would have to learn to live with this emptiness, the loss and the hole that was now forever in my heart.

I would have to live with the sadness each and every October and all the days in between.

Catalina Island, July 2005

One good thing occurred on October 15, 2008 on the one year anniversary, I told my sister I was six weeks pregnant with Lucas.

It’s Just One Of Those Days

Posted on January 19, 2011 Written by Tonya

Nothing is going right today.

It’s freezing outside, I’m up to my eyeballs in chores I’d rather not do, but have put off all week so here I am waiting to fold the fifth load of laundry for the day.

I’m feeling feisty and pissy and just not in the mood.

I hope you will indulge me for a few minutes while I get some things off my chest while I share my annoyances with you.

Uneven sidewalks piss me off, particularly when pushing a stroller. I’m not referring to the cracks, I’m talking about the dips that make people’s driveways that pop up in the sidewalks.

I end up walking in the street and then get honked at, which is just rude.

Story time at the library in a room that is way too small full of toddlers that are hacking away and have faucets of snot running out of their noses is not my idea of a fun outing. C’mon people, I understand needing to get out of the house, but really? If you’re kid is sick, please stay home!

Back to laundry, which I’m going blame for today’s foul mood. I hate it when I discover after the fact that a bra, pair of workout pants or other clothing item has found it’s way into the dryer when I would normally hang dry them. Grrr.

As a side note, I just folded 24 shirts so now my arms hurt.

You think I’m kidding.

I’m really annoyed today by lurkers… people that creep around on my blog (the infamous Boycott American Women dude commented on one of my posts with his personal agenda of bad mouthing women – his comment has since been deleted forever – and other people that I actually know and usually enjoy being around in real life) and don’t leave comments, but LOVE gathering information on me and my family to a) either talk about with other people behind my back or b) mention it to me in a way that makes it seem like I’ve told them first hand live and in person. This creeps me out!

Note to self: if I write about it on my blog, it’s out there in the world and obviously fair game.

Speaking of people that creep me out, why do people have to encroach on my personal space at places like the grocery store check out line? When I’m done, you’ll know it. Until then, back the hell up!

I’ve just about had it with the battery life on my laptop and iPhone. If we can put a man on the moon, why can’t we design a battery that lasts longer than six hours? As I type this, I currently have 9% battery on my computer. Lame!!

Okay, I think I’m done.

For now.

Thanks, I needed that. I promise to return to my regularly scheduled program tomorrow.

But for now, I really do wish I was here.

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Not Just Another Three Days

Posted on October 5, 2010 Written by Tonya

The 2010 Susan G. Komen San Francisco Bay Area 3-Day for the Cure began with an emotional Opening Ceremony on a foggy, windy morning at Cow Palace. From there we headed north into San Francisco and walked along the Great Highway with gorgeous ocean views. Some notable memories along the way included the “Manbulance” sweep van dancers, firemen out with their truck and the San Jose Bike Police supporting us along the route. The stairs on the steep coastal trail came up behind the Golden Gate Bridge as we walked through the Presidio to complete Day 1. After a long day of walking, we gathered at camp, our home away from home for the weekend.
We arose early on Saturday morning to another foggy day, ready to hit the trail. We walked across the Golden Gate Bridge (although we could barely see it through the fog). The Coast Guard came out at Fort Baker, with music, pink shirts, balloons and their dog. The sun came out for us in Sausalito as we headed up the coast for lunch. That evening, we gathered back at camp for a Candy Coburn concert.
We began our final day of walking in the rain, but the sun began to shine once we left the peaceful trails of the Presidio. We walked through Arguello Gate, into Golden Gate Park, passing the Conservatory of Flowers, the de Young Museum and the Japanese Tea Garden. Then we headed into downtown San Francisco to lunch at Mission Dolores Park with sweeping views of the city. Then it was into the Civic Center where the Oakland Fire Department had an impromptu dance party, and up into North Beach along Columbus Avenue. Our incredible journey ended with a celebratory Closing Ceremony at Marina Green.

A BIG HUGE GIGANTIC thank you to all my family and friends who donated to this amazing cause. Along with 1399 other walkers, you helped raise $3.7 million and I surpassed my personal goal by raising almost $2500! I also got to spend three memorable days doing something monumental to kick cancer’s ass in the process, along side my sister.

To read more about why I walk, please read my post Save The Ta-Tas.

While there are all ages, shapes, sizes and fitness levels on the course, walking 60 miles over the course of three days is not for the weak, in fact 50% of all participants don’t complete the full three days, so I am very proud of my sister and myself. We pushed ourselves to the limit and there were definitely many moments that I thought I couldn’t take one more step, but something…my inner stubbornness, my sister’s encouragement, an enthusiastic cheering station, or the cause itself kept me going and going and going.

Please visit Susan G. Komen for the Cure to find out more about this powerful event.

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Have You Ever?

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On My Mind

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Holiday Blues

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Mesmerized

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The Hole In My Heart

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It’s Just One Of Those Days

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Not Just Another Three Days

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